The Cursed Tyrant and His Reluctant Queen - Chapter 178

The day after talking with the Priest and failing at being convinced to deliver my son for them to analyse, I decide to visit Ignis’s office.

He hasn’t slept with me tonight, but he visited Lars.

I was almost asleep when he came into my room, and he observed our son for a long time. At some point, I was almost falling into the world of dreams, when Lars started crying.

The scene I witnessed with one eye closed and one open was the cutest ever! Ignis panicked at first, raising his eyes to the sky in search of divine help. But then, seeing the baby wouldn’t stop by himself and cursing because he sent the maids away, he picked him up.

He was so careful that my heart felt warm, and he carried our son around for a while.

«Hush, you don’t want to wake your mother… Believe me!» he whispered.

He talked with our child until he fell asleep again, and he placed him back in the cradle before opening the door for the maids and leaving for the night.

Since then, I haven’t seen him. He didn’t lie in my bed, nor did he have breakfast with us. Lately, I eat in my lodgings, avoiding crowded places even if I can walk around almost like normal.

Since Ignis doesn’t come to me, I will go to him. I can’t risk him returning to the mood he was in before, so I have to be careful and cheer him up, reassuring him everything will be all right.

Juliet and Samuel Grif have been executed this morning, but no one from the Palace could go there except for Ignis. Most didn’t like the idea of witnessing the execution of their comrades, someone they thought was on the same level. As for me, I couldn’t go because I’m still recovering and taking care of my baby. I feed Lars on my own, so I can’t be away for longer than a couple of hours. He eats very often, especially during the day.

«I will be back soon,» I instruct the maids. «Let’s hope he sleeps for the whole time.»

They nod, doing their chores while keeping an eye on the cradle at all times.

I can reach Ignis’s office with a clear conscience and focus on helping him feel better. He must be suffering so much right now. His best friend just died at this hand, even though indirectly. He lost whom he considered part of his family, and he can’t even take a break.

I wait as the herald announces me and then walk inside. This man is liking his job lately. Maybe it’s because people finally listen when he yells names and titles.

«Hello,» I say once inside.

Ignis is sitting at his desk, doing his usual job. He’s focused on something important, I can tell, but he raises his eyes to look at me.

«Hello, Veronica. Is anything the matter?»

How cold. The first thing he asks me is what I’m doing here.

«No, I just wanted to check on you. Am I disturbing?»

«Not at all.»

«I’ll sit here,» I say, turning towards the lower table and the sofas.

There, a few steps from the armchair, I see Aestas sitting on the floor. She’s playing with her toys, paying little to no attention to me.

Still, when she senses my stare on her, she smiles.

«Hello, ant!» she says. She’s learning to speak very fast, and she will soon be able to call me properly.

«Hello, Tata.»

Her blonde hair is tied in two twin tails, curled at the ends and long enough to dance every time she moves her head. Her brownish eyes return to the toys, and I lose her attention for good.

It’s the day her parents died, so it’s understandable that Ignis wants to keep her close. It’s more about his mind than her mood because she doesn’t know this day is any different from the others.

Yet, judging from how they’re sitting each at their place and doing their stuff without interfering with the other… I can tell the little girl is used to this place and being with her uncle. If not, she would be on his lap, talking or playing with him.

Not that I disagree. It’s fine. We promised to take care of her, in the end… He spends more time with her than our own son. He doesn’t want me too close, pushing me away in many subtle ways, but he allows this baby girl to stay in his office all day.

Maybe, it’s not as I thought. What if he’s just tired of me but doesn’t know how to say it?

«Are you avoiding me?» I ask, tears fighting their way up from my throat to the eyes. It hurts, but I shouldn’t cause a scene.

Not in front of Aestas, for goodness’s sake.

Still, it hurts so much that I want to cry.

«I am not, Veronica,» he says in fact. «We talked a lot the day before yesterday. We even slept in the same bed.»

«You didn’t come yesterday,» I say.

He doesn’t add anything. He doesn’t correct me, saying he played with Lars. He just keeps silent. As if he couldn’t acknowledge his late visit, as if he was ashamed.

«Why?» I wonder. «I’d like to talk with you so much! To look at you before sleeping, be it for a few minutes every day! But you don’t want me to. You’re detached, and you don’t want me in your life anymore!»

«It’s not like that!» he says, getting up from his place and hurrying to me. «It’s a difficult period for me. It will pass, I promise.»

«Why hide it from me? We can bear it better together, can’t we?»

«I don’t know,» he sighs.

«I won’t ask you to talk about it, but I will listen if you want to. Just don’t leave me alone… I don’t want to be unhappy like the Queen Dowager, Ignis.»

«It’s not that simple, and I don’t want you to be unhappy either. You’re the best thing that happened in my life, you and our son.»

«And Aestas too,» I point out. «It’s fine if you want to spend so much time with her. But you are too busy for me.»

«Oh, Veronica, I wish I could…»

«You could?» I ask, seeing how he stops his sentence and averts his eyes. «Tell me, Ignis! Tell me what’s wrong and what can I do to atone!»

«It’s not on you,» he sighed, turning his back to me.

Sensing the tension, Tata starts crying. Her voice isn’t as loud as Lars’s, but it’s enough to wake us up.

Oh, goodness. I’m jealous of a kid. Also, it’s not like telling him about it will change anything. Ignis won’t stop avoiding me just because of this, especially if the issue is as severe as it looks.

He’s so pale, his eyes circled by dark shadows and his lips thin because of the grimace constantly on his face. His shoulders are drooping, his back not as straight as usual.

He’s not just sad or angry. He’s also incredibly tired. I thought he could sleep better yesterday, but it isn’t the case. And my presence isn’t enough to let him rest. Is this why he’s avoiding me? He doesn’t want me to notice?

«Listen to me,» I say while Ignis runs to pick up Tata and coax her to stop crying. She hugs his neck and wipes her tears on his shirt, glancing at me with an accusing expression.

Goodness, even a kid can glare at me now.

«Ignis… I’d like to feel you closer. I don’t want to be in a marriage without love. If you don’t like me enough to spend some time with me, I can return back home.»

«No!» he says, even before realising it.

So, he does want me here. But why if he doesn’t come to see me? What’s the use of having a wife if he doesn’t visit me even at night?

«We can talk tonight,» he sighs. «I have to finish some things now, and there will be a meeting with the Ministers…»

«Something urgent?»

«Quite urgent. I’m not sure how long it’ll last, so don’t wait for me if I’m late. Just sleep. We’ll see each other tomorrow for breakfast if we don’t talk in the evening.»

«I want both.»

«Both?»

«Both evening and breakfast. Promise!»

«Do you have so much to talk about? For real?»

«Yes, Ignis. So much. Starting from the reasons why you’re always so exhausted.»

«We’re in a difficult situation…»

«That’s not so much of a piece of news.»

«I mean, Alba is in danger. Just like usual, in fact…»

«Oh, right. Is it about Ventis?»

«Yes,» he sighs.»

«No matter how long it takes, I’ll wait for you. Now I should go back to feed Lars. You might be lucky and see him awake again, you know?»

«See you later,» he says while delivering Aestas to a maid.. Seems like it’s time for both of us to part from the King.