The Devil Withinn - Chapter 215 Raghnall's Guilt 2

“With his sister now possibly gone, Aril lost his only motivation in life.A future of comfort with his sister was the only thing that kept him sane and strong in the academy. He was doing everything for her, remaining in this academy, taking all the beatings, and enduring all hardships just so that he’ll be able to graduate and give her a good life. But with the realization that she’s now gone, he was lost on what else to do in his life. He must have felt as though he no longer had a purpose in the world.”

“With his tongue and eyes ruined, he knew that he’ll be kicked out of the academy sooner or later. They robbed him of his talent and his magic, making him be deemed nearly useless in the academy. He knew that he no longer had any chance in remaining in the academy. Much less leave the Lily class to be in a higher class.”

“And so, he must’ve felt that expulsion was the only thing waiting for him next. Then, once he’s kicked out, he’d have to go back to the nobleman. And with his sister now gone, he had to pay off the remainder of his debts alone. Although he knew that the nobleman was a kind man, he also knew that he was a great yet stingy merchant. He wouldn’t let such a huge debt go away easily, even if it’s from the brother of his son’s wife.”

“So, he’d have no choice but to find a way to earn that great amount of money. But since his eyes and tongue were no longer useable, he knew he’d just be seen as useless in the society. He surely wouldn’t find a normal job and the nobleman would be hesitant in giving him a job. After all, he’d most likely just hire someone more bodily abled to do work than Aril.”

“He must have felt trapped… h-he must’ve felt like he had no way out… He… he surely felt as though he had no future anymore… That’s probably why he…”

Raghnall’s face twisted into a sorrowful expression for a second but when he saw Inna’s eyes on him, he stopped himself and quickly showed a blank face with a sad smile.

He didn’t want to show such a pathetic side to Inna even with such a serious situation. It just felt… shameful for him.

But Inna just became more annoyed when she saw him masking his expression.

“This… what you’re doing… it’s not a good thing you know. You have to learn to let it all out or else you’ll never be able to move past it. If you don’t let it out, it’ll always remain deep inside you. So, don’t just keep it in. Please.”

Inna gazed into his eyes as she pleaded him. Raghnall knew what she meant and he understood her. But he’s far too conscious of her to just start bawling so he just nodded his head slightly as he smiled at her with gratitude.

“I… Thank you…”

Then, Raghnall sighed deeply as he peered at the vast pond. His eyes swept through the whole area until they landed on the beautiful statue.

“There… I-I said it… That was the first time I’ve killed someone though indirectly. He might not have deserved it but life’s unfair and we just have to deal with it.”

Inna furrowed her brows as she expressed her distaste.

“Hold on. That wasn’t your fault! Why are you even saying you killed Aril?!”

Raghnall sighed as he stared at the statue intently.

“The one who handed the sword is as guilty as the one who used it to kill… I gave him the sword. I was the source of all the reasons why he did it. So, it can be said that I was the one who killed him in the end.”

Inna’s face contorted into an expression that held both rage and disbelief.

“What?! No, that’s not how it works. You should be blaming those guys who bullied him instead! THEY were the ones who pushed him over the edge, not you. So don’t treat it as though you were the ones who killed him! And He… as harsh as it sounds, he killed HIMSELF. He did it to himself! He had a choice not to–we always have a choice not to! If he had debts, he could have realized that you could’ve helped him out! He could have tried hard before deciding selfishly that he wouldn’t be able to do it! That’s where the problem lies! Deciding the future on your own without even realizing that it can be changed! If only he learned to rely on you more, he wouldn’t have done what he did. He would’ve just asked for help, be vocal, or be desperate. His pride or his kindness, I can’t tell which, but either must have hindered him from asking help. I tell you, the situation wouldn’t have been so tragic if he just asked help. So, just ask help to the right people.”

Raghnall stared at Inna intensely as he digested her words. The conviction and emotion behind her words made Raghnall feel as though she held the same experience too. And from how convincing she spoke, he slowly began to change his mind.

“I see… If only he asked for help… if only he asked… if only…”

Raghnall caressed his eyes as he spoke, then he felt the heaviness on his heart lighten a bit. His eyes held a glimmer of hope as he stared at her with sadness and desperation.

“I-Is it really… not my fault? I caused all of it, didn’t I? I…”

Inna sighed harshly as she used both her hands to gasp Raghnall’s face firmly.

“Wake. UP. It’s not your fault. It never was. How many times do I have to repeat it for it to go through your thick skull?! You never caused anything! You were just helping! It’s like you’re saying that the man who invented the sword is to blame for every murder that happened from using it! You never caused anything! Heck, you were just ten years old as well! So, believe me, I will say this again and again for as many times as you need it so that it’ll go through that thick skull of yours. It’s. Not. Your. Fault.”

“But–”

“It’s. Not. Your. Fault.”

“But I–”

“It’s. Not. Your. Fault.”

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“It–”

“It’s. Not. Your. Fault.”

“Liste–”

“It’s. Not. Your. Fault.”

“No, just li–”

“It’s. Not. Your. Fault.”

Inna stared at him intently as she gripped his face tighter for every time she repeated the line. Raghnall chuckled humorlessly at her weird actions but for some reason, he felt a huge weight off his shoulders after she spoke. He felt a sense of lightness as if he was liberated from something that shackled him down. And feeling the lightness of his heart, he finally felt as though he was no longer to blame for Aril’s death. He released a soft smile as he gently hugged Inna, his gratitude emanating in waves.