The Devil Withinn - Chapter 235 Tipsy Talk 3

But Inna’s pretty good at lying to herself. In fact, it’s something she’s an expert at.

So, she decided to look at the most positive side of things, pushing the panic, confusion, and terror at the back of her mind.

She’s an expert in hiding her emotions too until her body is forced to actually… believe them.

Fake it ’till you make it.

That’s what they always say.

But the longer she did it, the more high strung and easily irritable she felt. She became impulsive and her judgment was clouded easily by her emotions. It was as if her panic was leaking out of her and covering it up more brought out her crazy impulsive side.

Not that she admits she’s crazy, though.

But she soon regretted deluding herself. Because she soon realized that it was a big mistake…

Thinking that the world was still like Earth even when it obviously wasn’t made her sense of danger become hazy. She let her guard down and she paid the price for it.

Meeting that group of traitors in the Miasma forest, she thought strangers like them would readily help someone like her out. She was obviously lost and clueless on anything and everything so she hoped for their compassion just like how a tourist would rely on the locals. Well, sure they helped her for a while but from the looks of it, it was just all a plan and they didn’t even hesitate to take advantage of her.

But then again, she deluded herself into thinking that maybe it was a special case. That maybe she just had the worst luck and thus she ended up accidentally meeting with a bunch of assholes.

And so, the whole time she was in the Sunbreeze Manor, she began to trust people again. Although she was wary of Solomon in her own way, she had that feeling that he could be trusted. After all, who would carry a half-dead body towards their house and take care of said body until she’s healed?

And so, in those times she spent in the manor, her delusion began to get the best of her and she began to think. Except for the magic, everything else seems quite familiar to her. She’s been to poor countries for her family’s annual charity and vacation and their methods were pretty much the same with the ones used here.

Although some plants were unfamiliar or were weird equivalents, there were still certain kinds of stuff that can be used as an alternative. Like ginger, for example. Their ginger here would decay once triggered by a certain stimulus like touching or even breathing on it. But instead of ginger, what they use here would be ring root. It smells, looks, and tastes exactly like the ginger on Earth, just not named like one.

So, it’s not that much of a change. It’s just very much like visiting a different country.

And so, she used to foolishly believe that until she ended up in the Academy.

Ignoring the justified hatred the students had of her, she realized that nearly everyone she knew here was only concerned for themselves.

Well, save from the few she knew was kind-hearted enough to actually not hate her the moment they meet. Oh, and also Raghnall, Solomon, Rhys, and the rest of the people who helped her live her life peacefully.

But in the whole year she’s endured studying in the academy, she had seen it all and some she even experienced for herself.

The higher nobles would readily bring down a top-performing commoner so that they could be in that spot instead. Others would go to extreme measures such as stealing notes, giving pressure on other students, and sometimes even blackmailing.

Sometimes, they’d get other people to do their jobs as long as they get what they wanted. And sometimes, the teachers would notice what was happening but would pretend to not know to probably avoid the hassle of an issue.

It’s like, whatever benefitted them, they’d appreciate but whatever hindered them, they’d eradicate.

And that was the everyday norm for them…

But then again, that kinda thing still can be found on Earth…

It’s just that Anemoly was just way worse and way more accepting of it.

Because in here, in an official duel, someone can actually kill someone in public and it can be justified as okay. And it’s also okay to steal someone else’s goods if they fail to prove that it was theirs in the first place. Hence the reason why people had to put their own insignia in every important thing they own. And also the biggest reason why spatial pouches are very important as well.

It’s like they’re saying, as long as its the other party’s fault, all’s good.

Inna shivered from the thought as the flashbacks of that helpless student began to appear in her mind.

Oh god… she nearly forgot… she almost killed someone…

Inna felt shivers ride up her spine just remembering. So, to drown out the memories that seemed to insistent in returning, she finally ended their silence with something that’s been bugging her ever since she talked about her childhood.

“Hey… I’m confused…”

Raghnall sighed in relief when he finally heard something other than the smothering silence between them.

“On what?”

Inna looked at the flowers swaying by the garden as she smiled.

“When I copy something so much that I become that thing, would everything I do still be called ‘my’ doing or am I still copying?”

Raghnall made a face of confusion as he tried to understand what she just said.

Inna didn’t seem to mind as she just kept talking while her eyes were on the swaying flowers.

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“I got too used to using Officer Astria as my own character that I no longer know if my own emotions, my own reactions, and my own way of thinking is still… me. And in here… in Anemoly, I… my actions were just from me deluding myself because that’s what Officer Astria would’ve done.”

Raghnall got more confused as she continued to speak.

“You are you. Everything you think or do, is you? I don’t get why you have a problem with that? And what do you mean by deluding?”

Inna finally looked at Raghnall as she flashed him a small smile.

“Y’know… ever since I arrived here, I’ve been alone all this time.”

Raghnall grew cautious from the strangeness of Inna’s words and actions. She talks about one thing then jumps to another. And they’re sometimes vague, then sometimes too specific that he couldn’t follow.

But when she looked at him, he almost gave her a flat look once he saw the redness of her eyes.

And so, he concluded.

She’s drunk.