The Devil Withinn - Chapter 236 Drunk Talk 1

Inna began to think aloud, not noticing that the alcohol was already kicking in.

“Damn… Can’t believe I’ve been alone ever since that explosion. I walked down that line straight to that castle alone. I met that handsome guy in those regal robes alone. I’ve almost been imprisoned but I was able to run away and arrive here alone. Aloooooone.”

Inna paused when she suddenly thought of something. Meanwhile, Raghnall tried to follow what she was saying by digesting her words phrase by phrase. But he suddenly flinched in shock when Inna started to scream out loud.

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“TIL NOOOOOOOW I ALWAYS GOT BY ON MY OWN! I NEVER REALLY CARED UNTIL I MET YOUUUUU! AND NOW IT CHILLS ME TO THE BONEEEEE! HOW DO I GET YOU ALONE?! HOW DO I GET YOU ALONE?! ALOOOOONE! Man, I fucking love that song….”

Inna laughed hysterically as she wiped a tear off her cheek. Then, after a second of calming down, she began to rant again.

“You know. I still can’t believe this! Look! I’m actually here! I’m not dead! FUCK. BUT I’M ACTUALLY DEAD BUT LIKE, ALIVE, Y’KNOW?”

Raghnall was really starting to worry about her mental health.

The alcohol must’ve flushed off all the normalcy in her brain.

But then again, this whole thing was his fault. He trusted her with the lowest dosage of alcohol he could find in his stash but it must’ve still been too much for her.

Although even Molian women younger than her could drink a bottle without any problem…

Well, he learned his lesson. He’s never going to trust her whenever she claims to be able to do something.

So, with a sigh to sign that promise to himself, he looked at Inna as he urged her to stop screaming in a weird tone. Inna didn’t seem to appreciate the interruption but when she recognized Raghnall’s serious yet mesmerizing blue eyes, she couldn’t help but obey before giggling like a high school girl.

“You know…”

Inna trailed off as she began to feel different emotions arising and clashing within her.

“All my life… I’ve always had trouble taking things seriously. I don’t know when it started or how it came to be but its a certain trait I had that used to always get me into trouble. Like, whenever someone would come to me, bawling their eyes out, I’d end up being insensitive because I just have this urge to laugh, y’know? But this habit… I realized that–”

“You do it as a form of denial.”

Raghnall smiled as he looked at her with solemn eyes. Out of all the topics she had talked about the whole time, this was something he that resonated deep within him… Something he knew all too well.

“You use laughter as a sort of escape by making light of things and making fun of people or yourself. You used it to look at the brighter side of things. Because if you can laugh about it, then there is still something good that can be worth laughing at. It makes you realize that no matter how bad the situation gets, once you laugh at a certain aspect of it, it can suddenly get better. But despite that, you know its just an illusion you made up in hopes that you wouldn’t be swallowed up by the evils or the darkness of the situation you’re at.”

Inna looked at him, nearly agape as he practically stole her words right out of her mouth.

“D-did you read my mind?!”

She couldn’t help but exclaim softly. And seeing her bewildered expression, Raghnall gently patted her head as he chuckled.

“No, no. Your barriers are up pretty good now. To think that I was the one who taught you the spell a year ago but now, I can’t even beat the barriers in your mind easily anymore. Well done.”

He gently ruffled her hair as he felt a sense of pride and assurance wash over him.

At least with this, it can decrease the chances of her getting tricked or swindled if ever he’s not around.

But then, he also couldn’t help but admit that at times, he’ll get overly curious as to what she’s thinking especially now when she looked at him with an ambiguous half-smile.

“Thank you.”

Hearing the sincerity in her unexpected phrase, Raghnall couldn’t help but redden. But he tried to hide it by laughing and quickly replying.

“What’s this? You’re actually thanking me? What for?”

Inna grabbed his hand that rested on top of her head and brought it to her lap as she fiddled with it. Raghnall didn’t seem to mind the contact. Well, it was more like, he welcomed it instead.

“What you said… They were spot on. I looked at everything positively because I didn’t want to confront the unchangeable reality that I’m alone. I wanted so badly to see the “Earth-ness” in this world. I wanted to believe that I’m still on earth and that I can still meet my friends and loved ones. But it’s just that I’m currently taking a vacation in an unfamiliar country that had no cellular signal and so I can’t contact them as of yet. That thought… It keeps me going without breaking down or feeling lost on what to do next, y’know? To delude myself into being positive, into distorting the truth of my situation to avoid suffering mentally, and into thinking that I am still strong despite all the unbelievable and contradicting things that have been happening to me… It somehow just blurs out the bad things.”

Inna continued to fiddle with Raghnall’s hand as she now began to smile through her eyes.

“So, that’s why, all this time, I’ve always tried to act as natural and as calm as possible. And that’s through acting out what Officer Astria would have done if ever she was in that situation. Thinking what she would act would release me of the burden of thinking about what I should be doing. It’s like, releasing the burden of choice and blame to someone else rather than myself.”