The Emperor’s Daily Nitpicking - CH 26

Kevin’s hands were still tied behind his back, grinding back and forth against the sharp corner of a stone. As soon as the word “no” entered his ears, his hand slipped, and the vine stem, stretched to its limit, snapped off with a snap.

Kevin hissed softly.

The officer was already a little nervous, and when he heard this, he couldn’t be bothered with lip-syncing and said with a wary look, “What happened?”

Kevin laughed dryly, still keeping his hands behind his back. “Nothing. My hands shook.”

There was another falcon cry outside the window as if something huge had kicked up a strong gust of wind. The whistling sound swept past, and the running noises outside chaotically mixed in the wind.

“Capture! Capture them!” Kevin heard those dryads shout madly, using a weird language. “The remaining go to surround those captives! Don’t let them go in –”

The wound on his palm healed quickly in the blink of an eye, and Kevin ripped the tangled vine stems on his wrist with two quick tugs. His wrist was stiff from the strangulation and he couldn’t move it.

Two “click, click” sounds of bones movement came in succession.

The officer looked at him in stunned. “F**k! What are you doing!”

“Loosening my bones.” Without blinking, Kevin removed and reattached his wrist bones. Then, he rolled onto his back and sat up with an indifferent face, saying softly, “Don’t be anxious. I’ll help you untie your hands later.”

The officer: “…..”

Ben stared at Kevin’s movements for a moment and twisted his wrist to follow suit, but he was stopped by the nearest officer in a low voice. “Be careful not to cripple yourself when untying it!” Why was he learning such a bizarre thing?

“It’s not suitable for children. Please don’t imitate it.” Kevin threw Ben a line, not in a good mood.

He didn’t care that the vine stem was full of thorns. He simply took hold of it and ripped off the part that tied his legs, easily and quickly removing it.

The dryads were not that stupid. When they locked them up in the kitchen, they knew to take away all their weapons, leaving nothing for them to use.

Not caring whether a guard was outside the door, Kevin scanned around and found a row of water crocks beside the pile of stone statues against the wall. Without saying a word, he picked up two crocks and raised his hand to splash the sleeping officers in the face.

“Huh – Who?!” Nick and the others were startled by the cool water and woke up, spitting the water in their mouths.

“Me.” Kevin casually threw away the crocks and marched over to them, tearing the vine stems on them, one by one, with a single, pale, thin-looking hand.

Nick and the others, still a little confused, asked with dumbfounded faces. “Where are we? Where are those strange tree bark creatures? They didn’t look over us after catching us?”

Kevin raised his index finger and pressed it to his mouth, saying a “hush” and pointing at the door. “Listen for yourself who’s here.”

The giant falcon, Dan’s loud voice already arrived nearby, coming from over their heads. “Why did all these vulgar-looking tree forks rush towards here?! Is there something in this straw hut? Aiyo – They f**king dare to shoot arrows at Lao-zi! I’ll fan you guys to death!”

He had just said this when another gale whistled past.

The dryads outside were tossed about, unable to stand upright. The metallic crunch of swords against swords was muffled by the wind, which seemed to have no effect, and the momentum was negligible.

The wings flapping sounded one after another as something huge landed just on top of the kitchen, sending shivers throughout the cave.

The crowd, freshly freed from their bonds and with their arms and legs still stiff, subconsciously raised their faces at the sound, just in time to encounter the mud and rocks pelting down from the top and eat a mouthful of dust.

“Watch where you’re going. Don’t fan this place down.” That voice that had said “no” previously sounded again, still with a cold tone, but it was clearer than before.

Everyone in the room was stunned.

Nick, face full of mud, looked at the top in stun. “His Majesty? Is that His Majesty’s voice just now? I didn’t hear it wrong, right?!”

“No.” Kevin patted his clothes and turned his head to the crowd in dismay. “We’re quite impressive to get the Emperor to save us personally.”

Everyone silently face-palmed. “…..” This wasn’t something to be proud of, okay?!

“What are you still covering for? Get up and go.” Kevin unhappily said and walked towards the door in big strides.

With the Giant Beastman around, the fighting power had indeed gone up a notch. Listening to the battle and the commotion outside, one could tell that the little emperor had brought over a real saviour this time.

The dryads were stirred up by these Giant Beastman and ran in all directions. They were naturally shorter than ordinary people and had the advantage of being thicker and more resistant to blows. Still, they were not good enough to take on Kevin’s group by surprise, let alone Dan.

Kevin kicked away the two boulders that were blocking the doorway for show.

In all this chaos, the two dryads guarding the door remained stubbornly at their posts. Even though one of them was already clinging to a pillar for dear life, wielding an iron sword utterly different from their style in one hand, it was scared out of his wits.

The rescuers deployed by the leader to provide support were always cut off halfway by Dan and the others and could not get anywhere near the place. The two guarding the door could only stare in fear at the expanding chaos, not noticing for a moment that the captives inside had rebelled. It was only when Kevin broke through the door that they returned to their senses.

The two dryads only froze for a moment before lunging forward.

Unfortunately, even freezing for a moment was fatal when facing Kevin.

“The spirit is commendable.” Kevin shortly commented on the two dryads’ hardworking character.

He sidestepped the fatter one while raising his hand to chop the thin dryad’s withered wrist.

Clang –

The thin dryad’s fingers went limp, and the iron sword fell to the ground with a sound. When it tried to look down to pick it up, it saw a long, thin hand pass in front of its eyes. The next thing it heard was a crunching sound of bones.

The sound came partly from its ears and partly from its flesh and bones extending to its brain.

It was dumbfounded for a second before its eyes finally widened in horror, slowly realising that its neck had been snapped. It fell to the ground with a rapidly frozen expression. Before it died, it heard another clear, crisp “click”.

Kevin snapped the necks of both dryads in one fluid motion. He patted the dust from his hands and bent down to pick up the iron sword from the ground.

There were glowing insect sacs all over this underground settlement, enough to illuminate the entire activity area. Kevin took a cursory glance and saw dryads everywhere, and swords were scattered all over the floor. Several kitchen-like caves had been toppled, and some had been crushed by the rocks rolling down from nowhere. Only a few were still standing, but no people were probably left inside.

Seeing that the chaos had ended, Kevin simply stopped and leaned against the pillar in front of the kitchen cave with his sword in his arms.

The falcon circling overhead let out a long cry and shook off several of the stiff feathers that had been scraped off by swords and stray bullets, clearing the battlefield one last time and then slowing down to land.

Kevin lifted his eyes and saw the giant falcon at the head of the fight swoop down, its large wings casting a pale shadow on the ground. A large black face nestled at the head of the eagle, which would have been one with the darkness if not for the large white eyes.

“Aiyo! Isn’t this the little white-faced commander!” Dan shouted noisily.

A man sat on bent knees on the broad back of the giant falcon. The man’s eyes had fallen early on to where Kevin stood, his gaze half-lidded, but his chin slightly raised, his posture as condescending and arrogant as ever.

The yellowish glow of the insect capsule outlined one side of his face, with a deep brow and narrow, thin cheeks, appearing handsome and sharp.

The corners of Kevin’s mouth quirked up, and his eyes brightened, saying to that person with a quite teasing tone, “Nice momentum, just in time. If I’m an eighteen-or-nineteen-year-old lady, I will be crying for your hand in marriage for being saved like that, Your Majesty.”

The giant falcon was still more than two metres above the ground when Oswald rolled right off its back. He tugged his cloak hood down and tossed the copper wire mask he carried in his hand to the Wujin Iron’s deputy who had followed him.

He gave Kevin an expressionless glance up and down and spoke coldly, “Who says I’m here to save you?”

Anyone would be in a good mood with the burden off their shoulders. Kevin, still smiling, didn’t bantered with him and willingly accepted his views. “Okay, you’re not here to save us. Can I ask what are you doing here, Your Majesty?”

Oswald squinted at him for a moment and reached up to pull two paper balls from a leather bag hanging from his belt. He looked down and unfolded the two sheets of paper, holding them between his fingers and shaking them at Kevin. “I’m here to see if you’re terribly idle.”

The two pieces of paper were only palm-sized and had probably been ravaged more than once, making them look particularly crumpled.

But Kevin could recognise at a glance that they were his letters to His Majesty the Emperor. With an innocent look, he said, “Why am I terribly idle?”

Oswald sneered. “I told you to write a clear route, but you didn’t write it properly. You only drew these nasty things. A person without imagination wouldn’t understand what the thing you drew was!”

Kevin shamelessly raised his chin. “Don’t look for a fight, ah. I drew a concise picture. The person who didn’t understand it was retarded.”

Oswald: “…..”

Kevin thought of Oswald’s previous reply, which had not yet occurred to him. But now that he had heard Oswald’s reference to “imagination”, he was suddenly blessed with an understanding of what was meant by “filthy things, unpleasant to look at”.

He pondered for a moment and could not help but add, “As for the imagination…..Your Majesty, aren’t your imaginations a little too far from ordinary people? But you’re only in your early twenties, still young and vigorous. I can understand it.”

It was fine if this bastard only said it, but he even casually glanced below Oswald’s waist. Nobody would believe it if he said it was unintentional.

Oswald: “…..”

Finally rendering this aggressive Emperor speechless, Kevin stopped his mouth in satisfaction and turned around to enter the room. He decided to pull out a bunch of officers in a sorry state and didn’t dare to come out to see people before they were suffocated to death inside.

The Giant Beastmen returned to human form when they hit the ground.

They had never been conscious that they looked “extraordinarily eye-catching.” Dan, the leader, took two steps behind Oswald, attempting to sneak a peek at what Kevin had drawn.

Unfortunately, before he could get a good look, Oswald had already stuffed the two ragged pieces of paper back into his leather bag.

“Aiyo. Don’t put it away. Let me take a look.” Dan stated.

Oswald unhesitatingly said, “Not giving!”

Dan: “…..” What was going on with this indescribable pain in the ass feeling?