The Emperor’s Daily Nitpicking - CH 27

In addition to a party of fifteen flying Giant Beastmen, Oswald had brought over thirty or so Wujin Iron armoured soldiers and a physician, making the place fully packed at once.

“Are we above or under the ground?” Nick swept a glance at the door and couldn’t help asking.

It wasn’t surprising that he had such a question. Anyone who had been around a place like this would have been bewildered by sight –

The area was full of shiny, leafy grasses, some straight and tall, with gorgeous canopies. Others were clustered in various corners, with small, brightly coloured haw fruits among the dark, bushy leaves. Sturdy, baby-arm-like vines snake across the ground, climbing their way through the cave-like buildings and dropping a few thin locks of branches along the walls.

With the trees, the fruit, the buildings, and the lighting hanging everywhere, one could accidentally give the illusion of being in some dense forest on the ground.

“No matter how I think about it, this isn’t above the ground. My wings slapped against the top a few times when I hovered around.” Dan casually clutched several haw fruits and carelessly wiped them, asking Kevin, “Can these things be eaten? They look quite edible. Will I die if I take a bite?”

Kevin waved his hand. “You won’t.”

Dan recklessly stuffed the haw fruits into his mouth upon hearing the word “won’t,” chewing it with crunching sounds and mumbling, “Yo, it’s pretty crispy and a little sweet. The flavour isn’t bad.”

“I have a ‘but’ that I haven’t said yet…..” Kevin helplessly said, “Why is your mouth so fast?”

“But? But what?” Dan’s mouth paused, and he looked down at the haw fruit in his hand with less than a bite left, feeling nothing good would follow.

Kevin let out an “oh,” saying, “But this place is underground, and there’s no sunlight, only fertiliser. Besides, this fertiliser…..”

Even if the god’s tomb was thrilling and exciting, it was still a graveyard, and the plants in the graveyards would always bear fruits. What else could be absorbed as a fertiliser in these places?

Upon thinking of this, Dan’s face turned green.

“Blech –” He vomited the fruit in his mouth, clutching the pillar at the door, and said weakly to Oswald, who was not far away. “Where is the Emperor? Can the Emperor control your commander? How could he talk so well? Blech –”

The two-metre-tall strong man was frightened by Kevin’s thoughtful words, looking weak. He covered his stomach as he tried to go into the cave to find a physician to relieve himself.

Oswald, who was instructing the Wujin Iron soldiers to clean up those dryad’s corpses, turned his head at the word, glancing at Kevin and grunting. “My commander? His Excellency Fassbinder thinks of rebelling all day long and doesn’t know how to spell the word ‘emperor.’ I can’t control him.”

Kevin still knew that the emperor could not be beaten, so he waved his hand very dignifiedly, saying, “I can.  I won’t say anything more. You can continue to eat. You’ve already eaten most of it, so it’s useless to vomit it out anymore. You might as well don’t overthink.”

Dan: “…..”

He didn’t want to talk to this little white commander anymore, so he turned his head and headed into the cave, only to hit his head against the top of the door, causing him to grimace in pain.

“Is this a f**king dwarf nation?!” He fiercely spat out.

The kitchen cave that used to hold Kevin and the others was now crowded with more people, and the physician was there administering medicine to all those who had injuries. Most of the men, such as the elite squad that had followed Kevin, had wounds that were mostly scrapes and some that had been punctured by a bloody nest of thorns from the vine stems. These wounds were nothing that the physician couldn’t treat with ease. What was more problematic were the bumps and bruises on the others.

Those areas that had been hit would turn red, hardened, and turned into a sandy texture. For this, the medical officer was at his wits’ end.

So when Dan’s head knocked against the top of the door with that earth-shattering sound, not only did Kevin and Oswald outside the house look over but also the physician inside and the group of army generals who were drying their medicine.

Everyone seemed to have this written on their faces: “He’s done for. The knock was so hard. He probably can’t keep his head anymore.”

But Dan rubbed the red mark on his forehead and ducked down into the cave as if nothing had happened, his loud voice shouting so loudly that everyone outside could hear him. “Physician, I want to throw up.”

Kevin turned his head and looked at Oswald for a moment. Then without saying a word, they followed him into the cave, one after the other, in stride.

“Why are you all staring at me? It’s so creepy…..” Dan was forced to sit on the floor by the physician as soon as he entered and was met with a room full of people. Not to mention that the Emperor and the little white commander had followed him in, standing on either side of him and bending over to stare at his head.

His head was so black and oily with paint that it was impossible to see the original colour of his skin, and it was impossible to tell if it had changed into sands.

Kevin thought about it and went to press his hand to see if the skin had hardened, but before he could touch Dan’s head, Oswald blocked it.

Oswald slapped his hand away and said with a “tch”, “Why are you meddling in? Do you understand more than the physician?”

As he spoke, the physician was already touching and pressing on Dan’s head.

A moment later, the physician said with some surprise, “It really doesn’t change into the sand.”

Dan bafflingly touched his head. “What sand?”

“None at all?” Oswald asked.

The physician shook his head. “Accurately speaking, it’s not that there’s no transformation. I could feel the skin on this part was slightly different from other parts of his face. It’s slightly harder and a bit like a thin callus, but not even close to becoming sands.”

“Dan, do many people in your clan get bitten by the insects?” Kevin asked.

Dan nodded. “Many! It’s numerous! We’re prone to bugs; almost everyone gets chased and bitten daily. Why else would I paint myself like this? To look extra nice?”

“And has it ever happened that wherever you hit it, it’s hard as a rock?” The physician couldn’t help to ask.

Dan pondered for a while before slapping his thigh. “Oh! I suddenly thought of something when you said it. It’s an older man living nearby me. When he went to fetch water last time, he fell in the valley and rolled several times. They said he couldn’t move after returning and kept lying down. I had even gone to see him once when I passed by.”

“Did his skin change into like this?” An officer pointed at the side of his arm.

Dan stared at the sandy, ash-yellow skin and reached to touch it, saying, “Right. It’s hard like this! As for the skin colour…..we’ve all been painted like this, and it couldn’t be seen again.”

The crowd stared at his dark face for a moment and silently turned their heads away: so blinding.

Dan reached out and pressed his forehead, saying, “So, this is what you guys mean as turning into sands. I understood it now. It seems that only one person in our clan had this condition. We thought he was injured from the fall from old age, but many had their skin hardened like my forehead. It didn’t affect them much except when they grew near the joints and pulled at the skin a bit when they moved around.”

Oswald frowned. “What do you mean when you and Shaw said your current chief isn’t too convenient to come out?

Dan said, “He had been kissed by bugs the most! His whole face is swollen, and his knees aren’t moving too well, so he’s not too convenient to go out.”

Oswald: “…..”

“Your Majesty, can we…..” The physician said, glancing at Dan with some hesitation.

The Giant Beasman’s few brain cells suddenly worked at this moment, and Dan said instantly, “Do you guys want to see why I didn’t change into sandstone like you guys?”

The physician hurriedly nodded. “We’ve too many people turning into sandstone. Besides, the area turning into sandstone will spread more every day. If we’re slow in making progress, the consequences will be unthinkable.”

As Kevin heard this sentence, he suddenly remembered the row of stone statues on the wall inside the kitchen corner.

“Hold on –” He spoke at the few people leaning against the stone statues. “Can you guys turn those several stone statues at the back? I want to look at their faces.”

His cold, unprompted words frightened everyone in the room, making everyone inexplicably a little creeped out.

Those few army generals froze for a moment, then they got up, moved and carried the row of stone statues around to face the crowd.

This was in the area of the tomb of the gods, and it was well known that wherever there was a god, whether it was a temple or an altar, there were always stone sculptures everywhere. There were images of gods, sculptures of people worshipping, and pictures of beasts with symbolic meaning…..

The first time the people saw a row of stone statues piled up in the corner, they didn’t think much of it. They thought those dryads moved them from inside or the entrance of the Tomb of the God Phae. As for why they moved them, who knew?

But now, as the insect sacs’ yellowish light shone on the statues’ faces, their expressions, which had been frozen in place, suddenly came to life. They looked frightened, dumbfounded, and bewildered…….Everyone looking felt a thump in their hearts.

Because it was so realistic…..

So realistic that it didn’t even look like it had been carved out.

“I’ve told Nick that some people might have broken into this place before us. Look at the scattering swords outside. They have completely different styles to this place and should be unloaded by those dryads from the captives. Some came from the same place as us, and the others…..” Kevin paused timely, his gaze falling to those stone statues.

“You mean these stone statues are the first batch of captives they took back?” Oswald said in a low voice.

Kevin nodded. “But they’ve turned into sandstones because of being knocked repeatedly, spreading a little more each time and eventually becoming like this.”

Dan’s big eyes stared at that row of stone statues before quivering from head to toe. He corrected his expression and told Oswald, “Didn’t you guys want to find a way out of this from us? You can arrange it, and I’ll pick someone to deliver the letter back to the imperial palace.”

Why was the Giant Beastman not easily turning into sands? Was it because they were so large that what worked on the Euna was not as effective on them? Or was it because of their bloodline or something else?

If it was the former, then little could be done, for size was not something that could be changed overnight. But if it was the latter, maybe it could be tried by some means?

In any case, it was a step forward, and the crowd was in a better mood again.

The kitchen cavern was a little crowded with wounded people, so Oswald and Kevin emerged from it without staying long, calling for the row of stone statues to be moved out as well; both to get a closer look at what they were from and to make some room.

Oswald felt the leather bag on his belt and found that he did not have any extra paper, so he turned to Kevin and said, “Write a sealed letter for the Medical Institutions, saying –”

Halfway through, he remembered Kevin’s amazing drawing skills and swallowed the rest of his words, lifting his hand to remove the bag from Kevin’s waist.

Kevin was stunned and held his arms unhappily, saying, “Aren’t you a little too self-conscious?”

Oswald fished out a pen and paper and wrote the contents with a flourish without looking for a place to pad the paper. He wrote while saying without turning his head, “Do I need to tell you about the imperial power? According to the codex, everything you have is mine, including yourself. I can get it if I want. Do you have any objection?”

Kevin snorted. “I have.”

Oswald: “Shut up.”