The Emperor’s Daily Nitpicking - CH 34

In fact, the statue actually had a seven-point resemblance to Kevin in terms of features alone. However, from the corners of his eyes to the curves of his lips, every angle of the statue has been refined to a gentler level. The slight nod of his head carried a sense of compassion for the world in addition to his divine pose, which was so different from Kevin’s usual edgy and defiant demeanour.

When standing face to face, it was impossible to connect the two.

It wasn’t the first time Kevin had seen a milder version of himself, but the last time he had looked at it this closely had been millions of years ago.

***

“Who is this on this painting?” Phae, the god of light back then, stood by the Holy Lake of Annar, shaking a thin sheet of paper with two fingers and said to Thenez, “It’s not bad looking, but I don’t think I’ve seen it before.”

The leaf paper showed a young man with a slight nod of the head, the charcoal tracing his short, soft black hair and downcast brows, with a light, clear smile at the corners of his mouth.

Thenez, feeding her precious one-horned deer with a bunch of bright red sweet fruit, rolled her eyes at Phae’s words and slapped the one-horned deer’s buttocks, saying, “I’ve been drawing for so long for nothing. Can’t you see that this is yourself?”

The one-horned deer was slapped so hard that it ran straight at Phae, catching him off-guard. Its horn hit him in the ribs, causing the god of light to lose his cool.

He was badly injured but still looking for a fight, squinting and holding the sheet of paper a little further away as if he were blind. He looked at it again for a moment and said, “I’m sorry, but there’s a big difference between this little white face and me no matter how you look at it. At least you could’ve made me look fatter.”

Thenez snatched the paper out of his hand and said, “This is called gentleness! I just trimmed the angles for you to look more approachable.”

Phae: “My dear sister, are you painting a portrait or changing a face?”

Thenez swirled out a blank piece of leaf paper and slapped it on his chest, saying, “Fine, fine, you’re in charge. You can draw me a template.”

Without saying a word, Phae took a stiff feathered brush and placed the paper on a hawthorn wood drawing board, holding the brush in one hand behind his back and sketching on the paper with style. It was a graceful and elegant gesture.

Thenez, who happened to be standing at the back of the board, glanced at him and went back to feeding the deer with the rest of the sweet fruit in her hand.

As she filled the deer’s mouth with the last of the bright red, oily sweet fruit, Phae happened to put away his stiff feathered brush and said with a jerk of his chin, “Done.”

“So soon? Let’s see –” Thenez, who had sent the one-horned deer off to play, turned to face the drawing board.

She saw that Phae had painted the good leaf paper with the face of a beast uglier than a ghost, the cheeks deeply sunken because of his indiscriminate shading, the eyes not even symmetrical in size, and the hair messier than a bird’s nest……

“What you drew was either someone intoxicated or having excessive indulgence, and you have the nerve to criticise me for not drawing your face the same way! And may I ask where do you get that long beard?” Thenez asked him with a grimace.

Phae blurted out carelessly, “I think Faesar’s beard makes a man look elegant and wise, and I intend to grow one from tomorrow.”

Thenez pulled back the leaf paper with a grimace and raised a hand to the top of the mountain to the north. “Follow your eight great pillars and return to your Temple of Light.” One word in short: get lost.

And the handsome god of light gracefully withdrew, leaving behind a tall, thin back.

Many, many years passed after that. One early summer afternoon, Thenez returned from her travels with a little boy, no taller than her thigh.

The little boy had slightly curly charcoal black hair, looking well-behaved and soft. Because of his thinness, his ebony eyes looked extraordinarily large and as watery as a grape stone.

“Where did this little thing come from?” Faesar asked, pulling at his beard.

He was the brother of Thenez and Phae. In fact, he was not much older than the other two main gods, but he looked a great deal older than Phae and the others because of his long beard and had signs of benevolence early on.

Unfortunately, it was no use just being kind. The little boy seemed to be particularly afraid. He wore a loose little white robe and hid behind Thenez by her long skirt, showing only half of his little face.

“I gave birth to him,” Thenez replied with a grin.

Faesar’s hand trembled, and he almost pulled his beard to baldness: “With whom? Where? When?”

Thenez cocked her head, “Guess?”

Before Faesar could say anything, Phae, leaning against a tree, had lazily opened his mouth, ” The god of wine, Moa? No, he’s too dark to have such a bright one. The god of wind, Uno? No, his legs are too short, and his proportions are too different. The god of the river, Manuel? Even less so, he –”

“I will tear your temple down if you keep talking nonsense.” Thenez cut him off, unable to stand it.

If she let the bastard go on, the other minor gods would revolt and blow up his temple tomorrow.

“No more guesses?” Phae asked, grinning as he lifted his eyes.

Thenez said with a grimace, “Stop guessing! This little thing wasn’t born. I made it. When I was travelling through the Sutapino, the vine rose was in full bloom, so I made this little thing out of the long vine leaves and the wooden thorns underneath. It just happens that the winters are so cold at the Holy Lake of Annar, so it’s a little livelier with him.”

Phae: “…… Are you sure?” The little brat didn’t say a word for half a day, which was incompatible with being lively.

Thenez gave him a complicated look, then glanced at the little boy behind her and said with a hint of slight sadness, “I made him just like you were when you were a kid. You used to be so good and shy. How come you’re like this when you’re older?”

Phae stared at the little cub in silence for a moment and could not resist adding, “…… Are you sure?!”

Faesar nodded in agreement, “No wonder. I wondered who did you find to give birth to such a copy. Besides Phae’s hair not curly, they’re practically identical.”

“I gave him a name Merlot,” Thenez said.

Merlot had grown exceptionally slowly. He had lived in the Holy Lake of Annar for many years, yet he still had that little boy look. The only change probably was that he was less afraid of strangers but still easily shy.

Phae’s long legs were his natural measuring tape. Every time they met and stood side by side, Phae would put out his fingers, pinpointing the tiniest of distances and saying to little Merlot, “I’m sorry to say that you’ve only grown so much this year. You’ll barely reach my chin at this rate in another thousand years.”

Thenez would always pull Merlot away and say, “Yes, you’re tall enough to stab the sky.”

Faesar and Thenez had always loved children. They had always been irresistible to such soft, weak creatures, or they would not have created so many bouncing pea-like people later to satisfy their flood of love.

Phae had always been cold and hard and aloof in those days, and he wondered if it was the combination of being a god of war.

His little and rare patience and almost non-existent love were not enough to deal with these little things. The good ones were too soft, the naughty ones too noisy. In general, all were a pain in the ass.

So whenever he saw Merlot, he would simply tease him for a while before handing him over to Faesar and Thenez and retreating to the side.

When Merlot finally reached his waist and no longer seemed to “break at the slightest touch, ” he slowly began teaching Merlot some of the most practical combat techniques. After all, although the boy had lived long and slow, he had not acquired the godhood. If there were ever an accident, he would not be able to escape unless he learned a few things.

In their time together, Merlot had come to fear and respect this bastard Phae.

According to Faesar and Thenez’s private analysis –

Fear was because Phae was hot on the outside and cold on the inside. Although seemingly elegant, lazy, and a bit mouthy, he was not easy to get close to, let alone get intimate with.

Respect was because Phae taught him really useful things and was a bit of a strict teacher.

Thenez loved to paint, and Merlot, who was always with her, was probably influenced by her and developed a passion for it, except that he was more interested in carving. For a long time, when Phae went to the Holy Lake of Annar, he would always see this little man sitting under a tree, with a hand holding a drawing board and another holding a stone and carving knife.

Merlot’s first gift to Phae was a candlestick-height statue.

Still looking small and shy, he ran up to Phae with a stone sculpture in his arms and offered it as a treasure.

At first, he didn’t even see who the statue was based on. If it had been Thenez or Faesar, he would have opened his mouth to criticise it, but the rare bit of conscience he had made him swallow his words and not shamelessly criticise a child. So, he made a blind compliment while holding the statue. “Skilful, smooth lines, well carved.”

Merlot looked delighted by the compliment. “Really? Is it carved like you?”

Phae: “……” Me again?

It was only when he was reminded of this that he finally remembered Thenez’s masterpiece from many years ago. When he thought about it, Merlot had really carved the statue from that painting. Even the look was the same, just a little rougher.

Phae silently turned his head away, coughed, adjusted his expression, and then silently turned back around, curling the corners of his mouth and saying, “I can tell it’s me, very similar.” Like a ghost.

Young Merlot ran off contentedly.

Then the boy grew up a bit, and the carving really got better, just as Phae had boasted in good conscience earlier. He later sent Phae several larger and more elaborate statues but still stubbornly followed the template that Thenez had drawn.

For a while, there was a line of these “gentle” versions of the god of light in the Temple of Phae, which gave Phae a bit of a headache……

***

These small memories were slowly lost in time, and then millennia after millennia……

Kevin stood in front of the huge statue of the god, staring silently into its downcast brow, and slowly thought to himself: Thenez and Faesar have been dead for many years. Perhaps, they are still in a long sleep, or maybe they are already reborn as some ordinary people. The Holy Lake of Annar has become a shallow pool of water. The high mountain where the Temple of Light stood had risen and fallen several times, splitting into a huge rift valley. The eight huge pillars in front of the temple are now known as the Path of the Gods, on which a new palace was built. It’s quite interesting……

It’s just that when he first got that tiny statue millions of years ago, how could he have ever imagined that one day such a gentle statue of the god would be erected in his own tomb?

As a rare moment of frustration overcame him, he faintly heard a long, distant sound outside the temple, as if something huge were riding on the wind.

Phae turned back in amazement: “……” They could even come in here?!