The Emperor’s Daily Nitpicking - CH 38.2

Did you ever see a man with two rotten arms stand up straight in front of you and ask for a bath?

No.

You would generally pass out if you were not dead when both of your arms were rotten like that.

Oswald was about to curse, but he smothered his anger when he saw Kevin’s invulnerable appearance and said, “You’re taking a bath in this condition? You will scratch a few flesh off with that claw of yours. Will it kill you to put up with it for a day?”

Kevin looked like he’d seen a ghost. “I thought you were the one with a mysophobia, Young Master.”

“I’m on holiday from my mysophobia today! I can put up with a bed full of blood. It’ll only take a blink of an eye for a new one, so just stay put,” Oswald said.

Kevin pinched the corner of his shirt and shook it. ” You’re not in a position to talk. Why don’t I switch with you, and you’ll be the one smothered in blood all night?”

He was wearing a thin, slim-fitting shirt, which was soaked in blood that it almost stuck to his body, and the belt around his waist and stomach was stretched taut that one could faintly see the lines of his thin, lean muscles. It was indeed unpleasant when one thought about it from his position.

Oswald relented. “You can’t get your arm wet, though. I’ll have someone prepare water. You can wipe yourself down with a towel and change your clothes for the night.”

“That’s fine,” Kevin readily agreed.

Oswald told Kevin to hide in the inner room for a while, then summoned a couple of skilled chamberlains to change everything on the bed that was stained with blood, and even the floor was quickly wiped clean.

Warm water was prepared and brought into the room as soon as it was ready.

“I’ll do the rest back there. You guys can get out.” Oswald took the towel and dismissed everyone, closing the door behind him again.

Those chamberlains abided by rules, not looking at what they shouldn’t and never said anything they shouldn’t. Therefore, no one knew that Kevin had stayed there for a few days except for the people in this corridor.

Kevin heard the door slam and came out of the inner room, saying as he walked over, “Leave the towels here. You can go about your business.”

Oswald ignored him, wetting the towel with just the right amount of hot water, and said to Kevin without looking up, “Take off that rag.”

Kevin: “……”

“I’ll leave the emperor alone for something like wiping a body.” Kevin laughed dryly, raised his hand, and waved it, trying to coax him like a chicken.

As a result, instead of retreating, Oswald had already stood in front of him, carrying a slightly warm towel in one hand and sneering. “You realise I am the Emperor again at a time like this?”

“I’m not really used–” Before Kevin could finish his remark, he was blocked by Oswald.

“You didn’t get any fewer baths during the days you were unconscious, so why didn’t I see you have a problem with that? I see you’re quite used to troubling the Emperor.” Oswald said, picking up his chin, “You have two fewer arms than you did now, so don’t struggle with your strength. Just now, you complained that you couldn’t stand the blood, and now you can stand it again?”

Kevin: “……”

He silently rolled his eyes and thought that this person was rebelling again. He raised his foot to kick the emperor out of the door, but the Emperor was quick to stop him from doing so. “Do you feel uncomfortable if you don’t find a chance to hit me all day?”

Oswald said, “Tch – I’ll just wipe the blood off your back. You can use your claws on the front if you like.”

An extraordinary time for an extraordinary act. Although Kevin wasn’t quite used to being close to people, whether as a god or as a human, the claws were inconvenient, and he couldn’t afford to reach the back part. So he snorted, withdrew his foot without comment, and said, “Fine.”

Once the deal was agreed upon, Kevin became very business-like. His claws were quite sharp, and he stripped off the bloody garment in several moves, revealing a lean but not thin upper body.

His shoulders, back, chest and abdomen were covered with beautifully defined muscles, thin and not overpowering, but just right at every angle. It was not deliberately built but had been developed over years of combat.

Kevin saw Oswald’s eyes lowered as he re-warmed the half-cold towel, and with a swift glance, his eyes darted to his back.

Despite being prepared, he felt goose bumps crawl down his neck to his temples as the hot towel, and the other man’s fingers coldly touched his back.

For some reason, the atmosphere in the room became very odd all of a sudden.

Both the earlier frank Kevin and the sharp-tongued Oswald were suddenly speechless.

There was hardly any sound in the room for a while except for the not-so-synchronised breathing of the two men and the little damp watery sound of the towel touching his body.

Kevin’s problem was with both arms, while the blood was spread mainly around his chest, especially around his waist and stomach.

With no arms to hold on to, Oswald’s hands were at the junction of Kevin’s neck and shoulders, with four fingers pressing on the back of his neck and the thumb on his nape.

The soft texture of the towel rubbed down the muscles of the back of his shoulders one at a time, finally concentrating on the side ribs to the back of his waist, rubbing the blood there one at a time. The thumb pressed against the back of the neck followed suit, slightly rubbing the skin patch one at a time.

For a moment, Kevin felt a bizarre sensation. He felt his whole body had lost its sense of touch, except for the small patch of skin at the back of his neck and back where he still had sensation. The distinctness told him what sort of pattern the towel had, as well as …… Oswald’s thumb with a thin layer of calluses, which was slightly rough.

For some reason, the towel on the back of his waist stopped abruptly after a moment, while the thumb on the back of his neck slowly rubbed twice more ……

“That’ s enough.” Kevin suddenly turned his head and glanced at Oswald. When he saw him momentarily dazed, he simply jerked the towel out of his hand and said, “So slow to wash that little bit of blood. It’ll be dawn by the time you’re done with it.”

He mocked out of habit, then took two steps to walk up behind Oswald, lifted his foot and gave him a not-so-gentle kick, lifting his chin at the door. “You can go now.”

Oswald reacted to the light kick to his calf and took two steps forward in response to Kevin’s force, glancing back at him and saying lazily, “Throw it away when you’re done with it. You are very rude, Excellency Fassbinder.”

Kevin walked over and soaked the towel again, wiping the blood stains from his chest and side as he lifted his eyes and said, “Is this the first day that you were aware I have always been like this?”

Oswald snorted through his nose. “I knew you were a bastard, but I didn’t know you were this bastard.”

“Get lost.” Kevin scolded him, grabbing something from the side and throwing it at the door. He looked down and wiped his body without seeing if it had hit the back of the Emperor’s head.

As Oswald stepped out of the door, the object Kevin had thrown just grazed his face and landed on the floor some distance ahead. Oswald closed the door with his hand, took two steps to pick it up, and instantly turned green.

It was a boot.

Two seconds later, the Emperor’s angry shout rang outside the door. “How dare you throw a boot at me? Do you not want to live anymore?”

The Honourable Kevin Fassbender was still arrogant that day, but he couldn’t be cocky the next day anymore, as his two white, bony, ghostly paws had finally gone completely limp and out of control after a night’s sleep.

He could not even sit up with his arms on the bed, and his two skeletal arms hung lifelessly at his sides.

Kevin: “…..”

Luckily for him, since he had been confined here, his dear Majesty had made it a habit to come here every morning and evening to attend to his three meals, which made Kevin think for a moment that he was not living in a bedchamber, but in some sort of reporting room.

Even the chickens weren’t as punctual as he was.

So when Oswald pushed his way in early in the morning, Kevin, paralysed in bed, put all his odd feelings from last night behind him and gave Oswald a rare, affectionate nod, “Good morning, Your Majesty.”

Oswald didn’t feel there was any problem at first, leaning against the door and holding his arms. “I have never seen anyone greet someone in bed before in my life.”

Kevin rolled his eyes. “You’ve seen it right here.”

“How long are you going to stay there? They’ve got breakfast already and are going to bring it over.” Oswald asked.

Kevin: “……Come help me out.”

It was almost unbelievable that he offered to ask for help, and Oswald raised his eyebrows with a surprised look, “What kind of help? Speak.”

“I probably can’t get up. I can’t feel my hands. Help me sit up,” Kevin said.

Oswald: “……”

He almost froze for a moment before immediately standing up straight and striding over to the bed to bend down and look at Kevin’s fingerbones. “What do you mean you can’t feel it?”

“No movement through the night. Feels rusty,” Kevin thought of a perfectly reasonable explanation. “Cut the nonsense and get me up.”

Oswald didn’t sneer at him again but frowned and held him up by his head to make him sit up.

“Okay, okay. Just lean on the bed. I’m still fine everywhere else,” Kevin said.

“Waist forward,” Oswald said, tucking a horizontal pillow behind Kevin so he wouldn’t lean too uncomfortably.

“Your Majesty, breakfast for His Excellency the Commander is ready.” The chamberlain at the door warned in a low voice.

Oswald didn’t let the chamberlain in but went and brought the tray over himself and set it on the bedside table.

Kevin: “……”

Oswald: “……”

The two men stared at each other for a moment before Oswald finally couldn’t help but quirk up one side of his mouth and say nicely, “It seems that His Excellency is not in a position to help himself.”

Kevin silently looked at the plate of food and glanced at Oswald, thinking that the bastard’s face had the word “delight” written all over it. Apparently, he was very enthusiastic about watching people go weak.

“You should be glad I didn’t follow your example and become an amazing bastard when I was a kid. Otherwise -” Oswald said carelessly – “I’ m sure I would be pinching food and putting it to your mouth at times like this, saying, ‘You can eat if you want, beg me.’ ”

Kevin: “……Are you out of your mind?”

There were probably not many people in the whole world who begged but were still being a bastard. Even the Emperor couldn’t help but sigh at him.

Oswald mentally smiled with a strained face, wearing a condescending look as he spooned the food from the tray into Kevin’s mouth.

The one being served was not the least bit self-conscious, directing with great ease.

“Shrimp soup, two bites.”

“Give me a sweet fruit.”

“A bite of wheat bread.”

“Not this one.”

Oswald stared at the two plank leaves on his silver fork: “…… You’ve lived all these years and are still a picky eater. How nice is that?”

Kevin was confused. ” What does the duration you’ve lived have to do with whether you eat this stuff or not?”

Oswald: “Be reasonable. Plank leaves are a good blood tonic. You need to eat more of them.”

Kevin snorted, not caring. “I haven’t even sealed the skin on these two arms yet, and the blood has just been replenished on them, so the broken side should bleed. Are you stupid?”

“What kind of twisted reasoning is that?” Oswald became fully angry when he saw him like that.

At any rate, the great and handsome ex-God of Light, now Commander, was so disgusted with the plank leaves as he described it thus. “The smell of this stuff always reminds me of the soft green worms that nestle deep in the mud of the Andoha forest.”

Oswald: “……”

After hearing such nonsense, he felt he could save his breakfast thoroughly this morning and probably wouldn’t feel hungry anymore.

“You look pretty pale as well, Your Majesty. Why don’t you finish it?” Kevin trailed off with a very flattering comment.

Who the hell was the reason for his fucking pale face, anyway? Oswald gave him a stern glare before eating the two dried plank leaves with a green face.

“And the two stone berries sitting on the pinta fillet. I’ll trouble you to finish that too.” Kevin said very shamelessly, “Just give over the fillets for me.”

Oswald: “……”

At breakfast, everything on Kevin’s plate that he didn’t want to eat went into Oswald’s stomach, causing the Emperor, who had no appetite at all, to fill his mouth with soft, green worms and flying spiders, and leave with a belly full of leaves and fruit and a black face.

Before leaving, he had to help Lord Kevin take away his dinner plate and turn the pages of his book.

The good thing was this double mental torture didn’t last long as Kevin himself had said, “No matter how scary the injury is, it will always heal at some point. It’s nothing to get worked up about.”

While he was paralysed, the Emperor mixed all sorts of blood and bone tonics into his meals, coaxing and threatening him, and finished off the ones he didn’t eat, which was a lot of work.

But the hard work paid off, as Kevin’s health improved at a noticeable rate over the last few days, and his arms began to grow flesh slowly after three days.

And in those three short days, something else had changed–

The Beifeicu Empire was in chaos because of Sapir’s decree to seal the kingdom. As the strange petrification disease spread, some people believed that a baby’s blood was the purest thing in the world and could cure this strange petrification disease.

The consequences of such a rumour were unimaginable. With the possibility that Sapir, the madman, might do something even more outrageous when he was pushed to do so, Jinshi Empire, which was close to the Beifeicu Empire and had a long-standing feud with Sapir, had to prepare.

Meanwhile, the visiting kings of the city-states had agreed with Oswald that the Jinshi Empire would provide enough water to cure the petrification disease. While on the other hand, an alliance had been formed between the city-states and the Jinshi Empire to hold the Beifeicu Empire, which had been dominant for seven hundred years.

The situation did not seem too bad. The Jinshi Empire, with its allies and a happy population, seemed to be in a less difficult position than the Beifeicu Empire, surrounded by internal and external enemies.

But Oswald was extraordinarily cautious. He was not a Giant Beastman, but he had a bit of what he called “beast instinct” at times. He felt things were not going as smoothly as they might have thought……

He vaguely felt things were odd but couldn’t quite put his finger on what was wrong.

The rainstorm falling for so long had suddenly lost momentum over the past few days. It was almost a dry, hot, sunny morning sky, with a wave of thunderstorms rolling in with force only towards evening. The flashes of thunder and lightning lit up the whole town and half the Mainland, giving a vague sense of restlessness.

The day Kevin started to grow flesh, it didn’t even rain in the evening.

The storm was always unpredictable, stopping for days at a time.

Once Kevin’s two arms were restored to their original state, he moved from the inner courtyard of the Wujinxuan Palace back to the main camp of the Bronze Army, where he took the soldiers in the base and the young lion cub for their daily training.

After half a month, an urgent report arrived on Oswald’s desk: “The rainy season ended early, and a strange situation has arisen in the western desert. Your Majesty, please come and look at it yourself in the observation platform.”

The urgent message was received just as Kevin came for his routine report. Before Kevin had time to understand what was going on, he was dragged by Oswald onto a hippogriff and pulled along a railway track to the highest observatory of the Priest Monastery.

As soon as they entered, the two were stunned by the sight inside–

The old priest, who had been in charge of the main affairs, was running along the edge of the observatory on his feet disorderly while mumbling words under his breath. His voice suddenly became louder and louder as he spoke, looking as if he had gone mad.

Two young priests tried to stop him but failed, looking extremely embarrassed about it.

“What’s going on? Asking me to come, just to show this kind of thing?” Oswald was unsure for a moment what was going on.

One of the young priests said, “No, no, no, Your Majesty. After sending you the urgent report, Priest Mowgli, who lay by the observatory, saw something again and suddenly became like this.”

“Which side?” Oswald asked, frowning.

“Here.” The young priest pointed to a black platform of water on one side of the edge directly opposite the side of the cliff. “This one to the south, but we couldn’t see anything when we came up to it.”

On the observatory of the Monastery, there was a black stone platform to the southeast and northwest, each with dark cracks at its base, which at first glance were disorganised and random but seemed to have a hidden meaning on closer inspection. Some of the cracks were interwoven with large and small golden dots in a dense and sparse pattern. From a distance, it looked like the most intricate starry sky.

Oswald went to the southern platform and looked inside, finding it calm and uneventful.

He frowned and pondered for a moment, saying, “What did the old priest say was the strange situation in the urgent report he gave me?”

The young priest pointed to the western platform and said, “It is there. The signs are still there, but they are very faint.”

Oswald took a giant stride over and bent down to look, seeing a pattern that looked like dust cages gathering at the bottom of the black stone platform in the upper right corner, and was slowly being washed away by the water.

“What kind of pattern is that?” Oswald vaguely thought it looked a bit like a human face, but it was too faded and distorted to be recognisable.

The priest pointed to a certain cohesive point in the pattern and said, “This was supposed to be a circular totem, but it’s hard to see it now.”

“What totem?” Oswald asked.

The priest said, “The phoenix, Your Majesty. The phoenix that symbolises the god of light, Phae.”

Kevin looked up sharply, “……What?”