The Empress Of Ashes - Chapter 0

The fishy scent of grass from the dry soil was lingering on her smooth calves. The forest where Afrosa had been struggling was just dense and foggy. It couldn’t have been easily tracked. The roots of the trees weren’t visible through the soil. Afrosa, whose foot caught on a root, fell with a thud.

“Ugh…”

She sat down, stifling a groan. The clouds rained all day, but did not show the moon. The moonlight was very dim. In the forest, at a distance, there were gunshots being fired. It was the search party led by her husband. She hobbled with great effort. Her hand tingled as she grabbed a tree. Suddenly, she heard tapping sounds. The familiar sound of the horse driven by her husband.

“No…..”

The tapping of horse’s hooves neared. Afrosa clenched her teeth and brushed off the tears hanging on her eyelids. Her pink satin dress, which she didn’t have time to change, was dragged on the ground when she looked for an opportunity to escape the banquet hall.

Bang!

The shot echoed through the night sky. He struck the air with his shotgun and dismounted from his horse. A faint light revealed the outline of a man. His shadow was exposed to the dim moonlight, but it was repeatedly flickering with the darkness of the forest.

“Found you.”

She bit her lip at his deep, low tone. His indistinct outline frightened her. Afrosa shivered and looked at the two legs that were slowly walking towards her. Her teeth chattered.

“Lara.”

A cold voice sounded in her ears. It was a name she didn’t want to hear. Afrosa’s other name. She did not answer. She averted her gaze from him and stared into the blurry, growing darkness. She didn’t know how far she had crossed the forest. She laughed in vain, she’d gone so far into the forest, even while pregnant, but still got caught…

She bit back a bitter smile at the thought of how often she had to relieve herself in the open.

“Let’s go back.”

“….”

“It’s not good for the baby.”

A large hand squeezed her shoulder. Afrosa, who had been shaking uncontrollably, looked at her husband. In the soft moonlight, he looked pitiful. Not unlike the way he had pursued his wife, forming a search party of armed soldiers as soon as she fled. His grief-stricken face was twisted in a way that made him look like he was about to cry at any moment. That wounded face made Afrosa want to laugh. His other hand patted her swollen belly. She puckered her lips tightly.

…Will this child be born? This was the baby she’d lost in her last life earlier. A child born dead, the one who had knocked her down.

“…No.”

Afrosa raised her head. Her husband was staring at her endlessly. It wasn’t enough that his piercing gaze bound her neck, it also constricted her breath. Afrosa was always troubled by his eyes.

“We can’t. Not you and me.”

She once said that. But her husband just shook his head. He didn’t have half of the fear that Afrosa had. What’s scary and what’s terrible. One would know if they’re not an idiot.

“Lara.”

How could she be so stupid? The humiliation of it all, that life of hearing all the bad words and dying, was still fresh in Afrosa’s mind. It was so bad that she wished that the child she was carrying in her stomach would never be born. She was so scared that she couldn’t breathe.

“…Let’s go home now.”

One of his hands grabbed her shoulder, the other hand stroked her belly. Aphrosa placed her hands on his hard chest, pushing him out, but he didn’t even move slightly. She did not know what he was thinking.

“No, I don’t want to.”

Rain suddenly fell.

“I can’t. I can’t do this. Alec.”

The hand that had patted her near-term belly brushed her cheek. Tears fell where his hand had passed. He tried to kiss her. Afrosa tried to avoid his lips, but he grabbed her chin and devoured her lips. She bit the casually entering tongue into her mouth. Blood flowed so thickly that it reached the tip of her tongue. Alec swallowed her greedily, sucked her lips, and then parted his. Afrosa, who was pushing his chest, dug her nails in his neck and scratched it mercilessly.

“Isn’t this enough? I’m so sick of it, can’t you be satisfied with it just once? Who the hell are you? I can’t. I want to live without you! So please….”

Afrosa cried violently. She shook her head as she pushed him away and punched him. She couldn’t tell if the moisture that wet her cheeks was rainwater or tears. The hand that squeezed her chin slid down to her shoulder, and the other one continued stroking her belly.

“There’s not much time left.”

It was the same sentence that Afrosa hated with a passion.Hitting his chest, the crying Afrosa raised her head. She hated his slick face so badly. It was a face that she could neither love nor hate. The same words from that time, with the same face.

“You….”

“Really, please ….”

His face showed pain. If it was her first time, Afrosa would close her eyes and hug him. But it wasn’t her first time.

“You know what?”

“….”

“You said the same even when you were between Valerie’s legs.”

“Lara.”

“You said so after getting me pregnant, and impregnated someone else even after marrying, didn’t you? Right before you entered Valerie’s bedroom dressed like a brand new groom. Remember? You came to me crying and apologizing before you slept with another woman.”

Each syllable, every cold word that passed through her lips was sharp and brutal. Afrosa stared hatefully at the man who grabbed her shoulders and looked at her. It felt as if she couldn’t hate this face any more. She thought she could cut this face.

“I said so that night and countless others that have passed,” Alec held his breath.

“Not much time left. We’ll be happy. Like that…..”

And yet, he could not protect anything. There was nothing left for him. He had no children, no love, he couldn’t even live with her as a couple. They were not even lovers because the time he loved was only in season.

“Lara.”

“Shut up.”

“No, Lara. I’m different than I was back then.”

“You are disgusting! I’m sick of the love you talk of! It makes me want to vomit!”

Afrosa screamed. There were no tears. The night when the moon did not shine. This pitch-black night of rain scattered around reminded her of her past life. He was wearing a ceremonial robe at the time. It was at the imperial palace, not a forest, and the moon was bright and cold.

“I love you. I’d do anything to protect you.”

Lara reflected on his sickening commitment.

“It’s not love, Alec, don’t you understand? You don’t love me, it’s an obsession, and obsession isn’t the same as love. Obsession is just a specter. The love you speak of is not love, it’s just the specter of the past!”

Afrosa shouted, pushing him away, the sound of horseshoes starting to get louder. She exhaled, glaring at the search party that had gathered behind him, but Alec didn’t let go of her shoulder.

Instead, the man’s eyes that were streaked with moisture cooled. The man who was looking at her like he was going to swallow her without parting his lips. Afrosa clenched her lips tighter, then met his gaze. For a moment, the hand that was tightened on her shoulder fell away.

“Kill me.” Alec said.

He held out something. Afrosa stared at it, cold tears falling. It was a handle with the imperial’s inscription engraved on it. It was silver and shone sharply.

“Kill me and leave,” he said, raising his head.

The man’s face was contorted as if he was crying, but nothing showed on it. Afrosa stared at him and took the knife he offered. A clear drop of water flowed from Afrosa’s eyes, which had been filled with hatred. Alec looked back as if he found even such an expression of hers endearing.