The Fake Saint Decided to be Real - Chapter 8

A more ticklish feeling than when Astein moved his lips and spoke made my whole body tremble lightly. I felt like I had to pull my hand out, but I couldn’t even take it out, so I just stuck with him.+

To be honest, maybe it was because I like the feeling of the first touch.

Before the reversion, Astein never put his lips on the back of my hand, unlike other knights. At the official event, he only pretended to touch it, with a little scary face.

“Excuse me, Grand Duke. This is, uh…it’s a prayer room…”

It wasn’t until my hands were sweating that I managed to stutter out a word to him.

“Ah, I’m sorry, Lady Freya. This contact may have been uncomfortable, I apologize. If God is angry, I will accept the sin.”

“Well, that wouldn’t make the God angry.”

There was an awkward silence between us. So I asked him a question to overcome the awkwardness.

“But why is the Grand Duke so kind to me and unquestionably accepting my request? Even though I’m going to be a saint, I’m still the daughter of a static family.”

He frowned, wrinkled his nose. It seemed difficult to answer my question.

“Don’t worry, I’m not trying to take advantage of Lady Freya, to watch out for Marquis Futor or His Majesty.”

“….! That’s not what I meant.”

My eyes widened on its own. I thought it wasn’t an important matter. But Astein seemed to be uncomfortable.

“I know. You know I’m trying to be a paladin, don’t you?”

“But why do you want to be a paladin? Rather, if you swear allegiance to His Majesty, the opportunity must be….”

I closed my mouth to say that the Emperor was about to die. It was because I wondered if I could talk freely about the future of others.

“I’m sorry. I asked you something personal.”

Astein’s eyes were wide open. Then, he looked into the air with a faint look and slowly opened his mouth.

“I also respect and follow God and the Holy Saint. Of course, it’s not without purpose of avoiding the attention of His Majesty and other half-brothers. I’m a public enemy to everyone.”

He was a loner in a different way than I was. I felt the pain in his eyes that were looking into space, I felt sad with him.

“And there’s someone I want to protect.”

His gaze shifted to me. I could see my face filled his purple eyes.

What to expect, my face was already red.

A place to meet God in the closest place. There was an unholy desire growing in the heart of a woman.

“My Lady!”

Tok! Tok!

Sir Solar’s voice that came with a knock was heard.

“Wait a moment!”

Perplexed, I stood at the door. Unfortunately, there was no place in the prayer room to hide.

Astein would be in a difficult position if Sir Solar found out.

In my eyes, Astein quickly stuck to the wall with his feet. I took a deep breath and opened the door slightly. I faced Sir Solar with a face as casual as possible.

“Her Majesty the Empress has visited the temple. The Saint told you to come too.”

“Yes, I understand.”

I went out, tried to block Sir Solar’s view inside my prayer room. Immediately, after I escaped from the room, the door was closed tightly.

“I’d like to ask you to escort me, please.”

Of course he would follow me, but I was just asking him for formality.

This prayer room was usually open only for me, so other people wouldn’t come, but I had to leave it empty.

I turned around the door of the prayer room throughout my walk. However, the closed doors didn’t open. It was an opportunity for Astein to get out, but I was a little worried about him.

“I think there’s some good news for Her Majesty.”

“Her  Majesty? Did you hear anything about it?”

“It was her brightest face I’ve seen recently.”

I frowned and groped my memory. If it was a good thing for the Empress of this period of time…

“Pregnancy?”

“That would be great. It was Marquis’…”

No, that was….

The Empress was going to give birth. And right after I became a saint, she had a premature birth.

As a result, the Marquis came to the temple and grabbed my hair because I was useless. If I had sacred power, I would have saved the descendant of the Imperial family.

Then, after the Empress was suffering from the postpartum disease, the Empress’ contempt for the Marquis reached its peak.

After the Emperor died, he hated me even more. He said he missed the chance to become the new Emperor’s grandfather.1

“I wonder if there has been an example in the history of the Marquis. It was so good that the daughters of the Marquis become the Empress and the Saint. Ha ha ha!”

Sir Solar’s praise disturbed my heart.

In front of the Saint’s room, my face was hardly stretched with a heavy heart. I went in with a frown like this, the Empress or the Saint will say something.

“My Lady?”

“Oh, thank you for the escort.”

“Of course it’s my job. Would you like me to knock?”

“Yes, please.”

I took a deep breath and looked at Sir Solar knocking.

I never thought that knowing the future was such a heavy thing. I just thought of it as an opportunity to prevent the misfortune of someone precious to me.

It wasn’t pleasant at all to know the unhappy future of others around. Even if it was the daughter of the one who hated me.

“Come in.”

I could hear the warm voice of the Saint. Slowly, I went into the room.

There was a gorgeous woman sitting next to the Saint in a completely different mood from me. A beautiful woman with a red and gorgeous hair like Ellaner.

Empress Karencia, she twinkled her black eyes at me.

“How have you been?”

“I’m good, Your Majesty. Thanks to you, I’m doing fine.”

“You look so tired. Aren’t you pushing yourself too hard?”

“No, I’m not. Thank you for your concern.”

The Empress’ gaze at me was as relaxed and comfortable as she could be. She put her hand on her stomach naturally.

“Sit down, Freya.”

I sat down at the words of the Saint. The Empress poured the tea herself to me. The gesture was very calm and cautious.

The Empress, who was lovely and cheerful, changed.

“Freya, Her Majesty said that she has finally conceived the descendant of the Imperial family.

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you. It’s all thanks to your sincere prayers.”

“Because God knows the Empress’ earnestness. By the end of winter, a precious person will be born. I’m afraid I won’t be able to see you.”

Karencia’s face was blurred by the Saint’s words. She knew the day she would leave with wings. Anxiety slowly fell on her face.

“What should I do if my child doesn’t have an aunt when he sees the light of the world?”

“There’s Freya now, so don’t worry.”

The Saint looked back at me with glad eyes. I was so embarrassed that I couldn’t raise my head. Maybe it was because of the guilt of not saving the Empress’ child in the past life.

“Freya, can you use divine power?”

“No, not yet.”

“Look, Auntie. She’s still a long way from it. If she continues to be a saint, the Marquis would be hard on her…”

When I saw the Empress was worrying about the Marquis, my hands were strained. The Empress knew the fact that she lacked divine power when she was young.

But still, she was treated differently than I was because she inherited the blood of Marquis Futor. Especially after being chosen as the Crown Princess, she was loved by everyone.

Unlike me, who was becoming a rotten duck.

“You don’t have to worry because it’s the beginning of divine power to start listening to God’s voice. God has told her the cause of the disease, and He’s even told her the unknown cure.”

Rumours were inflated and expanded like this.

“If I or my child goes wrong, I can get help from Freya.”

“That’s right. So don’t worry about such ominous things like that.”

“Maybe because my mother passed away early, I’m just nervous.”

Aunt and nephew were tenderly worried about the future. For me, it felt like someone else’s business. They weren’t interested in me anyway.

I was carried away by being alone as a stranger.

Astein would’ve gone as well, right?

I couldn’t even say farewell. I should’ve asked more about the gunpowder. Would he come tomorrow?

I still felt his warmth on the back of my hand and my mind was full of him.

“By the way, Grand Duke Dandellion is really going to be a paladin?”

I flinched when the story of Astein came out of Karencia’s mouth. I shouldn’t get noticed that I paid attention and cared about him.

The Emperor hated Astein and wanted to get rid of him. Then, what about the Empress?1

“Yes, he looked determined.”

“He’s finally running away from His Majesty’s persecution. I’m sorry about the bad relationship that continued for generations since the time of the two mothers has passed away…”

Fortunately, the Empress didn’t hate Astein, unlike the Emperor.

“His Majesty misunderstood between me and the Grand Duke, so things got bigger. Maybe that’s why the Grand Duke is trying to run away.” (what?)

I opened my eyes wide at the words of the Empress. What did that mean? I had an uneasy feeling.

“It would be better for him to be a paladin to protect himself from His Majesty’s misunderstanding.”

“I know. I’m sorry. Let’s help him look at another woman around.”

“Since he was young, he has been a person who can’t let go once he set up his mind, right?” said the Saint.

The cold winter breeze blew in a flash and scratched my heart.

—And there’s someone I want to protect.2

One side of my heart flickered.

Well, we met yesterday for the first time.

It would be a fairy tale story that he fell for me at first sight and wanted to protect me.

It was bitter to understand.

“Come to think of it, in the past, I used to visit the temple under the pretext of seeing the Saint.” The Empress said, with a little enjoyment.

The figure was strangely repugnant.

I’m a fake saint, too.

“I think my choice has determined their fate. The man I chose become the Emperor.” (wtf.)2

I almost gnashed my teeth at the Empress’ words.

The choice of the Empress seemed to have caused all those painful things.

I shouldn’t blame her, but I tried to pile up resentment. I’d done all the wrongs in my past life, and I couldn’t believe I was blaming others.

I was disgusting.

I tried to keep my eyes off the Empress and not concentrate on the conversation.

“This banquet could be the last social gathering for the Grand Duke. We must hopefully end the misunderstanding and come to God’s arms. I don’t want the temple involved in the conflict.”

“It should be… Freya? Why don’t you attend this banquet as well?”

But the Empress tried to engage me in the conversation.

“Father won’t allow it.”

I answered with barely calming my mind. My voice cracked a little as I pretended to be calm.

The Empress gave me a sad look. I thought she misunderstood my condition.

“I’ll persuade father by sending you an invitation. Now good things have happened to you, and you’ll soon be a saint, so get along with the Imperial family.”

For a moment, I stared at the Empress.

Marquis Futor had three children. Karencia, the Empress, who was three years older than me; Euteran, the son who was one year younger than me; and Ellaner, the same age as me.

And only the Empress was close to empathizing and understanding my situation. Even though she didn’t actively save or help me.

“Yes, I understand.”

My mind was complicated. I didn’t want her to misunderstand because I didn’t feel sorry for the Empress.

Nevertheles, when I thought of Astein, I became childish.

If you like someone, will this dark feeling of jealousy grow?

I smiled brighter than ever to hide my shameful mind.

“I’m going to go to pray now. I need to find the divine power quickly to help you give birth to a healthy, precious descendant of the Imperial family that will be born in the future.”

My hands were slightly strained when I got up.

If I didn’t wish the Empress’ happiness even in words, I thought I’d really be coloured with a bad heart. I bowed down and said farewell to the two of them.

There was Sir Solar in the hallway. He glanced at my dark face.

“Are you all right? What happened to you?”

“It’s okay. I’m just tired.”

I and Sir Solar walked toward the prayer room again.

On my way to my prayer room, I encountered many priests and believers. Most had clear, pure, and gentle faces. That bothered me.

Standing in front of the door, I looked back at Sir Solar, instead of turning the handle, feeling frustrated.

“A saint shouldn’t have negative feelings such as envy, jealousy, anger, etc.”

“Isn’t it because you’re a benevolent woman who can embrace everything?”

“Right? I shouldn’t, right?”

The moment I realized what I was living as, my heart sank deeply.

Until I found Ellaner and put her back in her place, I would always have to be a good person in people’s eyes, right?

I felt a little stuffy. I was a human, not even a saint.

Would Ellaner, the real saint, has the same worries as I do?

“Haaa…”

With a sigh, I opened the door of the prayer room.

“I didn’t even say goodbye.”

It was a little disappointing. It’s not that he wanted to protect me. Nevertheless, I felt a little stupid and resentful about him.

But so far, I’d received more.

The heart that I gave to him wasn’t necessarily meant to be returned. When I thought so, my heart ached a little less.

“So I haven’t gone yet.”1

When I heard Astein’s voice, everything except my love disappeared.