The Female Lead Is A Lesbian - Volume 1 Chapter 91 Annie Gets Some Character Growth Part
(At A Mental Hospital; Two Months Later)
Annie just stared out the window.
She held herself aloof whilst her mind wandered in an imaginary alpine forest. The cabin she shared with Jade. Her eyes glazed over as the memory of bliss and happiness crossed her mind.
But it was abruptly cut short reappearance of flames. Flames.
The burning. Eaten, with a heart still pumping blood, by hungry flames.
The saturated black carbon dioxide that line her throat everytime she breathed.
The smell of a barbecue that somehow entered her nose, only to see it was the cooking of her flesh.
Then,
Then there was,
She clutched the fabric of her shirt around her stomach. Her teeth wore themselves away with grinding.
‘Jade.’
“Mia?”
‘Jade.’
“Mia?”
Annie let out a sound similar to a pissed off cat mixed with an angry scoff.
” That’s. Not. My. Name.”
She felt too tired to increase the volume of her voice but the abrasive animosity was very clear.
After awakening, Annie was deemed insane and put into a mental health institution. Well, in all fairness she did assault nursing staff and scream bloody murder.
She was heavily medicated for one month. Every time the medicine wore off she would scream and wail until she was nearly coughing blood.
That was until they brought in a therapist for the young woman.
Though it must seem like, that such therapy is quite ineffective. When the doctor first arrived, Annie was much less receptive and forthcoming. Without going into too much detail, she had to be strapped down into her chair.
Now, the doctor had felt that the girl was beginning to open up. But it was a one step forward five steps back situation.
” I’m sorry, Annie. I’m pronouncing that correctly?”
” Yes. It’s a five-letter, two-syllable name. How could you mispronounce it?”
Annie was seething.
” You’re right. To be honest, I just napped my way through anything involving ELA.”
The joke seemed to ease the tension as Annie stopped trying to blow down a brick house and sunk back into her seat.
” Alright, now this past week, you’ve been a bit on and off. First, your talking fit hours then flat out saying nothing.”
Annie scoffed.
” Because I can see you judging me bitch.”
” Arf, art.
But in all seriousness, I’m not judging you. This is a safe place.”
Annie scoffed once again. ‘Safe place’. Heh! Annie knew well enough that her so-called safe place sent daily reports to her so-called, ‘parents’.
What safe place?
Annie didn’t respond anyplace else besides her head.
So looking at Annie/Mia, completely who was distrustful. The therapist found no other way to get the ball rolling other than just one more obscure method.
” Annie, I want to talk to you about some things you mentioned when you were first admitted.”
Annie glanced to the therapist before looking back off into space and giving a simple shrug.
” Okay~, ”
The therapist began to rustle through some papers and notebook.
Finding what she was looking for the therapist cleared her throat a bit and crossed her legs.
” So, upon your admission, you told others that you… died. And you umm… transferred into your current body.”
” It’s not my body! This… this… is just some random sack of flesh. It’s like clothes from a donor bin!
It’s weird, skinny, and it’s not mine!
Look at these!”
Annie grabbed her b.r.e.a.s.t and squeezed.
” These aren’t mine! None of this is! This hair, these eyes, this f.u.c.k.i.n.g birthmark! ”
Annie clutched her face as she became completely overwhelmed.
” Alright, you’re right.
You’re absolutely right. I just want to clarify some things so thank you for the- uh, clarity!
Would it~ be alright if we continue?”
” *Hah* Whatever.”
Annie rubbed her head in discomfort.
The therapist looked a bit frustrated but was determined to persevere.
” Okay, so you also said that, you died with your lover. Who was… a woman.
Do you find yourself attracted to women?”
” I’m bi.”
” Well, that’s great.
Um, you also mentioned. Um, that you, were abused.
Care to talk about that?”
” I grew up with narcissists. What else is there to talk about?”
” Okay.
Annie~”
Annie ignored her gaze.
” I want to… show you something.
Now, it might be upsetting. But I just want you to hear me out.”
Annie just breathed tiredly through her nose.
The therapist ran their tongue their concealed teeth.
They stood and walked away.
When they came back they held a few book and a newspaper article with them.
” Umm, first off, we have this…”
She held up the newspaper article which read.
‘ Two Women Die In Mysterious Explosion.’
Annie turned pale.
” This was played on radios, tv stations, online.
And through most of it, you were within earshot. There was a tv in your room and one of your caretakers frequently turned it on or listened to it.
The description of the fire was graphic. The two women were identified by their dental records.
And for days before. It was revealed that one woman endured horrific abuse. For almost no reason, other than she was not pretty.”
Annie looked as if she had been swarmed by leeches as the color drained out of her.
She shook her head but the therapist continued.
” Then there’s these.”
The therapist laid a few books on the table.
The titles were.
‘ Blue Sun Rising’.
‘ The Last X.’
‘Reincarnated: Becoming A Lesbian For My Fourth Miss.’
‘Soul Shard Captor.’
‘ Epic Of A Caterpillar.’
(These are all real and available on .)
” These were books you had in your bedroom. At home.
All of these either have the premise of reincarnation or traveling into another body, or just going someplace different.
The main characters change and grow into these new people. BETTER, people than they were.
They change and they’re better than ever!”
Annie broke out into a cold sweat. Realizing what she about to insinuate about her. Annie shook her head.
But it fell on deaf ears.
” Hear me out.
Maybe you were unhappy with the life you have now. Which is why you tried to take your life.”
Annie began gripping her clothes.
” You read these stories every! Day! Because you couldn’t stand your own life.
When it all became too much. You drank a large gulp of vodka with a handful of Vicodin. Then you drank a compound used to sedate animals. Because you wanted to make sure you didn’t wake up.
You wanted to stop living so badly. You made one hundred percent sure that you wouldn’t wake up again.
But you did.”
“Stop…”
Annie managed to choke out a single word.
” And I think that the shock of actually being alive.
Then hearing all those things while in your coma.
While at the same time all those books you read kinda collided.”
” Didn’t you hear me?”
Annie grumbled.
But still, the therapist continued.
” So you used the information you heard and you built yourself as one the people in your storybooks.
You made yourself into the main character.”
Annie just pressed her face into her palms.
” The thing is, even if, IF you were… another person in a different body.
Wouldn’t it be better if you came to be stronger?
If you become like characters in this book then…
Shouldn’t you forget? What you claim used to be you? And embrace who you are now?”
Annie kept her hands cupped down around her face with her head still shaking.
” *Pfft*”
Then she let out a laugh.
The therapist slightly bit their lip.
A small ball of unease circled around their stomach at the unusual behavior.
They expected Annie to do a Jerome Valeska.
But instead, they were met with several clear lines running down the girl’s cheeks.
” And here I was thinking I could maybe trust you.”
” Mia-”
” My name is ANNIE DAMNIT!”
” No, your name is Mia Tan! You suffered because of your parent’s-”
” No! No! My parents are in the deepest depths of hell! I suffered and they suffered back! I don’t need any more sucky parents, okay!?
My only family is Jade Bell. That is the only family I have.”
” Mia! Your family loves you.
And let’s say that you were in love with Jade Bell.
Let’s say that you… fell head over heels for her!
The relationship you described was shallow and vulnerable. You didn’t love her.
You just thought you did.”
“Stop.”
” Mia-”
” That’s not-. You know what? Call me whatever.
I’m tired.
I don’t want to know who I am now. I won’t take any memories from this body. I won’t have it told to me either.
I died. So did the person who actually cared about me.
And the fact is, your saying the wrong stuff to the wrong person.
Mia is dead.
Even though I should be.
Call me crazy. Diagnose me with whatever.
But honestly?
No human. Unless they’re a psychopath or your life totally sucked.
Would just forget about being burned alive. Would just forget about dying.
Would just forget about any trauma.
Would just forget their loved ones.
And you contradicted yourself by saying that.
You say I shouldn’t try to escape reality. But the reality is. If one of these characters suddenly appeared in real world. Or you could actually see their thoughts.
You would know.
You would absolutely know!
That there is much more darkness in their head than you’d think.
But even then, people will just skip over.
Because no one wants to read a book about an emotionally weak character.”
Annie still had tears streaming down her face. Despite the fact, she looked so intense.
” I! Me! This girl!”
She jabbed her hand in the middle of her chest.
” Crawled through hell!
Trudged through depression!
And yet! *Hah*”
She let out a laugh that mixed in with the tears. Making it sound like a cross between a whimper and a sigh.
” And yet, I’m supposed to-!
Supposed to-!”
Finding herself choking on her frustration Annie inhaled.
” *Haaah*”
Then exhaled.
” *Hooo*”
” I’m so done with this.”
She said exasperatedly.
She then went to the door and pounded on the door.
” Hey! I wanna go back to my room!”
” Mia.”
“Get me out of here!”
” Mia!”
It was Annie’s turn to play deaf now.
She kept pounding on the door for an orderly.
” Annie?”
Imagine the therapist’s surprised when she didn’t respond to that either.
” Annie?”
She kept banging.
Pounding the door with her fist.
Finally, the door opened and a big burly man stood there in blue scrubs.
” What’s the problem?”
” Annie, please stop! Talk to me!”
” I wanna go!”
” Annie!”
” Your time isn’t up yet. And clearly, you still have things to talk about.”
” Yes, thank you! Annie, we need to talk-”
” Alright then. If you leave me alone with this bitch! I’m gonna f.u.c.k.i.n.g slit this motherf.u.c.ker’s throat with a pen!”
The therapist was stunned and the orderly just sighed.
” Alright miss. I’ll have to escort you back to your room miss. Come along.”
Before the two walked out the door. The therapist called out, ” Which is it? Annie or Mia?”
Annie turned with tears flowing again.
Unexpectedly, she smiled.
” Neither. Not is it both.”
The two were gone, leaving the therapist standing there, dumbfounded.
….
(Later That Same Day)
The therapist sat with Mia/Annie’s father and stepmother.
” Mr. and Mrs. Tan. Your daughter Mia seems to be suffering from an identity disorder.
My theory is that, with the combination of trauma. Both in child and a.d.u.l.thood. And waking up from what should have been a sure death.
Her psyche just couldn’t bear it. So she retreated deep into the depths of her mind.
And then this alternate personality formed.
I can’t pinpoint a lot of things. But I really would like to continue my work with her.
Despite the little hiccup. I think I’m making progress.”
The two stared at each other.
Coraline rubbed her lips together awkwardly and pointed her gaze to Thomas.
Thomas seemed hesitant and it showed in his voice.
” Umm, I hate to. Well, I know you’re good at your job. I certainly don’t want to question your profession but…
My daughter has always been a bit~”
” Well she’s a bit, dramatic.”
Coraline chimed in.
” You see, she’s always craving attention. She’s gotten in trouble a multitude of times. Because she tries to show off.
She always spends time on her phone or reading those silly novels.
So it’s really-”
” Let me stop you right there.
Thank you for your respect. But with all due respect to you.
Even if that was just how your daughter is.
That could still mean she has serious issues!
Attention seekers might seem disgusting and mortally grotesque but.
No one knows why.
Please don’t blame any of this on… your…. child.”
The long pauses between the sentence came from the sudden alarm sounding. And the people rushing past the door.
” Excuse me? What’s happening?”
Thomas asked.
” I.. don’t know. Let me go see.”
The therapist stood up and opened the door.
She talked to a nurse passing by.
” Hey what’s going on?”
” Code blue. ”
As the nurse jogged away the therapist asked what happened.
Their face turned white when the response was.
” Suicide attempt.”
Immediately Mia/Annie’s face pooped into her head and they followed after the nurse.
….
Once they got to Mia/Annie’s room.
Their heart dropped so low, dunking itself into their stomach’s acid.
Annie/Mia was lying on the ground. Blood bursting from her wrists.
Immediately something kicked in.
” Mia? Mia?”
They shouted as they grabbed some bandages and some towels.
They pressed it on the wound trying to keep as much blood in as possible.
” Mia? Mia honey.”
Nothing.
” Annie?”
This caused her to stir a bit and her eyes opened slightly.
Annie felt as if two weights were tied to her hands.
She blinked blearily and though the words couldn’t get out her mouth still moved.
‘ Just let me die.’
Is what she mouthed.
She just wanted to sleep.
Before sinking into eternal darkness.
Which turned out to be not so eternal.
As she woke up in a hospital in bed four days later. Throat dry and eyes dark.
The exhaustion seeped into and marinated her bones.
She glanced to her left.
Nothing.
She glanced to her right.
And standing there was the therapist.
” Mia~”
Annie ignored the call and started back up at the ceiling.
” Annie. I’m sorry. ”
” For what?”
” I’m sorry for pushing you. I should have-”
” You should have shut the f.u.c.k up.”
“… Yeah, can’t argue with you there.”
Annie didn’t feel like talking anymore.
” Annie, we’re gonna get through this.”
” No, you are. I’m gonna be f.u.c.k.i.n.g locked up. Strapped to a chair in an empty room. Then drugged out of mind.
The drugs are the only good part.”
” It’s not going to be like that.”
” I don’t want to hear it. Why don’t you tell the people outside how crazy I am? I know they’re out there.”
” You mean your dad and stepmom?”
” I refuse to acknowledge that. And refuse to call them that, just go.”
Seeing that they were getting nowhere, the therapist stood up and bid her farewell.
Walking out, the therapist met Annie/Mia’s parents along with her step-siblings outside the door.
There were shouts of false concern, from Coraline. Who upped her game with crocodile tears.
Unfortunately, the therapist bought this and gave their profound sympathy.
Thomas however only showed exhaustion and Alexis along with her brother Benjamin showed scorn.
” She’s just faking it for attention.”
Was practically all they had to say.
The therapist silenced them with a single sentence.
” Tell that to the staff cleaning up her blood.”
With that, they both immediately shut their mouths.
The therapist turned to Thomas and Coraline and sighed sympathetically.
” Your daughter is a danger to herself possibly others.
She will be admitted for an unspecified amount of time. But I think she would do better in a more rural environment.
I have a few pamphlets I’d like you to look over-”
The looks on the Tan’s faces stopped the therapist from talking.
” Oh… no one told you yet.”
The therapist was confused until their phone rang in their pocket.
” Hello?”
The therapist’s eyes showed confusion.
Then as the call went on their expression do d quite the yo-yo.
It went from confusion to disbelief, to shock, to anger, and then the searing emotion of contempt as they hung up the phone.
” You bribed my boss, so you could send your daughter off into isolation?”
Coraline shook her head.
” Oh no! Please don’t misread this! She’ll have maids, and caretakers, and you!”
” And me?”
” Well, yes. We were going to retain you as her personal psychologist. We’ll double, triple your pay. What do I say?”
” Wh-what do I say? I say you’re completely out of touch with reality! This isn’t some fantasy, shallow, contemporary romance where well off people can just bribe their way through everything! Or is it?
Heh. I can’t believe you would go so far! Or would even think about-, just what, why?”
Because of their shock, the therapist stumbled over their words and restarted a new sentence over and over.
” Oh, bribery is such a harsh word. We just made a sizeable contribution to your superior’s research about Alzheimer’s. It’s very important.
And I suppose he wanted to repay us.”
With nothing more to say from the utter shock, the therapist let out a flabbergasted scoff.
They immediately turned and headed back to Annie’s room.
As soon as the therapist got to the room. They sat on the bed and explained to the dark-eyed girl what was going to happen.
” You really need to know-”
Annie just smiled and said, ” Good. No more of you, no more of them, and just an eternity of ‘sleep.’ ”
The therapist paled.
The glint in Annie’s eyes.
Finally, those dark eyes had a spark of passion. Passion for their demise.
The therapist knew what the blood drained planned to do once she got the chance.
The therapist knew no words would reach this girl’s ears.
And an imaginary image formed in front of their face.
Choice one and choice two.
Choice one kept Mia alive.
Choice two kept their pride.
Which one they would choose was an obvious no brainer.
Barely five minutes passed before the therapist stormed out of the room and up to the Tan family.
Just three words were uttered.
” I’ll do it.”
TO BE CONTINUED~
