The Flower Dances And The Wind Sings - Chapter 0

Every time she forced out a breath, she felt herself nearing death. Laying looking as if she was already dead, she looked around. Around her she saw that everyone’s head was bowed solemnly, in preparation of her impending death.
Her husband, who had been sitting next to her in a chair for the past few days ago, was also watching her fleeting breath.
He wasn’t exactly a the most loving husband. He came from a military family. A man of strict conduct, but he was faithful to her. Sometimes, she was moved by his actions, like when he gave her flowers.
All and all, they were not a loving couple, but they were committed to their roles of husband and wife, so it was a decent marriage.
She smiled faintly at her husband but then her face stiffened as her gaze turned to the boy behind him.
This was her son. A young boy, whose face began to show the contours of a handsome man.
His dull dark blue eyes were focused on her, but they were dry and devoid of any feelings for her.

This is all my fault.

She smiled sadly.
Ercella.
That was her name. Born as the youngest daughter of Marquis of Visaride, she married into the Bernhardt family, to the best knight of the kingdom, and became the Duchess of Bernhardt.
Everyone looked up to her with envy and praised her beautiful appearance. She lived a glamorous life that made her stand out everywhere she went. She was satisfied living her life this way.
However, as her illness brought her closer to death, she began to regret what she had done. She had never been a loving mother to her only son.
As soon as she turned sixteen, she got married and had her son at the young age of seventeen.
The idea of becoming a parent at a young age along with the constraints brought along with rearing a child, made her hate her son for changing her life around.
The result was a cold relationship between the mother and son. By the time she realized something was wrong, she couldn’t undo it.
All her life loved as the Visaride’s young lady, she was always kind and friendly to others. Though, when it came to her son, she did not know how to give him love and because of her pride she could not be the one to approach him first.
“… time”
…I have to tell you I love you.
She opened her mouth again and tried to call out her son’s name, but she did not dare speak with his icy cold eyes looking at her. It seemed as if criticisms would pour out of his mouth immediately if she spoke warm words. No, she won’t blame the child.
He’ll remember her as an indifferent mother and return to his regular routine soon after her funeral.
She smiled sadly. Seeing that he didn’t even cry, she once again realized how heartless of a mother she was.
Her body, which was barely holding on, began to lose the last of its vitality. She slowly felt sleepy.

I’m dying.

Unable to say “I love you” until the end, Ercella closed her eyes.

…I’ll forever be your heartless mother.

She died.

* * *

‘Oh, the Marchioness is so pretty.’

People’s attention.

‘She has perfect family background, and beauty. The high society will be noisy soon.’

People’s love.

‘Lady Visaride. Would you please give me the honor of your first dance?’
‘You’re beautiful. I can’t help but notice you.’
‘Young lady, I like you.’

I took them for granted.

‘A proposal arrived from the Bernhardt family.’
‘Good for you, Ercella. Wouldn’t you be a happy woman?’
‘I can’t believe you’re getting married into such a good family.’

Everyone looked at her with envious eyes. She also laughed about it, as if she were familiar with that look in their eyes.
Her father stroked her head affectionately. He looked at her as if he already knew that she would be the happiest woman ever in the world.

‘I envy you for being loved by everyone, Ercella.’

Their voices are filled with jealousy.

‘Be happy, Ercella.’

People are telling me to be happy.

‘Thank you, everyone.’

She smiled happily.

‘Congratulations, ma’am! It’s a boy!’
‘Congratulations, Ercella! How can you give birth to a son in one try?’
‘Lucky you! I’m sure the Marquis will love it!’
‘You’ve worked hard.’
‘Ma’am, would you like to hug him?’
A life so small that just fits into one’s arms. She was thrilled by the small weight of it.
‘Oh… you’re my son. He’s my son.’

How proud she was for doing a good job.

‘A ball? Is that more important than your child?’
‘But I’ve been looking forward to this day. All my friends will be attending, so I can’t be the only one who misses out…’
‘They’re not like you, they’re unmarried, how can you be like them? Now that you have a child, you should be more devoted to your family.’
‘Harsen.’
‘Let’s talk about this again when the child grows up. Or we can hold one at home.’
‘You’re coming home late these days.’
‘… I’ve succeeded my father after his death. When things get stable, you can go on a trip anywhere. You can go to banquets more often than you do now.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes.’
It’s okay… She laughed inside, saying this was good enough. Some husbands don’t let their wives leave at all. Besides, he was also busy because he just inherited his title.

‘Oh my, Ercella, are you coming back to the parties now?’
‘Oh, my God! How long has it been? Your beauty remains the same!’
Yes, I just had to be a little patient.
And so, she was able to get back to her original life again. Ercella was smiling happily.
‘But won’t he mind if you don’t go home?’
‘No, He said I can return late today.’
‘But… I heard you have a son.’
‘…….’
‘Yes, you have a son. Is it okay if you don’t go? He’s only five years old.’
‘…. The nanny will take care of him.’
‘What? Aren’t you too often at parties these days? Aren’t you leaving your son to the nanny too often?’
‘Yes, it’s against a mother’s virtue to neglect her child.’
‘Why don’t you go back now?’
Ercella didn’t want to return but she became worried for her son.
She was really looking forward to this party. A friendly interaction under a fancy chandelier. Talking about this and that. An intimate conversation followed by a smile. That was all Ercella ever wanted.
‘But I’m-‘
only 22 years old.
The words didn’t come out. She was afraid that they would look at her weirdly of they heard this.
‘Yes, I should go. See you later.’

How bitter she was to have to turn her steps at the climax of the banquet…
‘Mother, are you back?’
A child who greets her with a smile at home…
‘…Mother?’
‘I’m tired. Let’s talk tomorrow.’

How much she hated him.

‘Ma’am, the young master is very handsome because he resembles the Lord.’
‘Oh, he’s young but mature.’
‘He’s not only smart, but also talented in swordsmanship because he takes after the Lord. He’ll be a great successor to the family in the future.’
‘You’re so lucky, my Lady.’

My son grew up wonderfully. Even without me.

‘Do you pay attention to the kid these days?’
‘Why are you asking me that?’
‘It’s….. nothing. I apologize. I just want you to pay attention to him.’
‘…okay.’
‘Why don’t you two have dinner together tonight?’
The two of them… just hearing about it felt strange to her. Was it so uncomfortable to eat with her own son? When he was a child, he naturally ate with his parents, but why does she feel so awkward with her son now?

‘Madam, the Young Master…… he is skipping his meal today.….’
‘Call him again.’
It was revolting how he blatantly refused to eat with her. She hated seeing those blue eyes that he inherited from her, coming at her call, and looking at her indifferently.
“Vicente.”
Why is it so awkward? I only said his name with my mouth once, but the sound of the pronunciation, the tone, the word itself… Why am I so devoid of smotion?
‘Did you call for me?’
Ercella was angry. The look her son was giving her was annoying.
I’m your mother, your mother!
‘The butler must have been mistaken. Go finish whatever you’re doing.’
Dry eyes that contained nothing looked back at her.
‘Yes, mother.’
She felt desolate until he called her “mother.”

“M-ma’am, blood……!”

The ice cold relationship continued until the moment of her death.

Oh, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!

Ercella shouted and shouted but her voice disappeared as soon as it left her throat. No one heard her cry.

Just once… If I could see you one more time…

Seeing her life flashing before her like a panorama, she desperately wished for another chance.
If I can go back, I will never be heartless. I’ll be a loving mother. Vicente, if only I could see you again…!
And maybe that desperate cry was the reason…
She got another chance.