The Gap Between You and Me - Chapter 76

It was often said that way. Mental health and physical health are two different domains, but at the same time, they are inextricably linked by a single line. Therefore, if either one of them collapses, the other must also collapse someday.

But Bernard did not fully believe it. If the mind is sick, the body is also sick. What nonsense is that?

No matter how heartbroken it is, it was ultimately decided by one’s own choices to destroy the body and make it sick. So, those words were merely invented by the weak and powerless to make excuses.

However,

Bernard was sitting on the seat next to the bed. He stared at the woman lying on the bed with a complicated look. With a pale complexion and endless sweating, he could see she was clearly ill.

As if she had had terrible nightmares, she would sometimes speak gibberish, spew nonsense, and sob helplessly.

Sometimes, the closed eyes opened, and she stared blankly into the void. Her tear-soaked eyes lost their focus.

Herietta, who was shocked by Bernard’s words and lost consciousness, has never been able to come to her senses after that.

The royal medical staff shook their heads. She was apparently recovering quickly and without any problems recently. Then she suddenly suffered from high fever, and they could never figure out why she was so ill.

‘It’s strange. There is no reason for the condition to be this bad now.’

Said a doctor, who is said to be the best in Velicia.

‘From the outside, she looks fine, so I think she may have a mental illness.’

At his cautious observation, Bernard remained silent. If it was the usual him, he would have scoffed saying what nonsense that was, but his mouth remained shut.

Just before she lost consciousness, he vividly remembered Herietta’s face looking at him. He had never seen a person’s face lose their color so quickly. Her eyes, overflowing with vitality, were empty in an instant, as if all meaning of her life had been pulled out.

‘I wonder if I should have refined my words a little more.’

Bernard seriously questioned his own actions. No matter how good Herietta was, he knew that her body had not really fully recovered. He knew it well, but he didn’t think he had to be careful. He simply thought that he should give her the news he heard.

‘No. It wasn’t something that could be delayed anyway.’

Bernard held back the guilt that rose from the depths of his heart and corrected his thoughts.

No matter how much he wished, he could not change the truth. And he had no way to sweeten the bitter. If it was the truth that she had to face someday anyway, it might have been better to face it a day earlier.

He did nothing wrong. Herietta was lying on the bed like this. Her mind was going back and forth and she was drying up day by day. All of it was because she was weak.

Yes, it is.

It was just that.

Looking at Herietta, Bernard took a deep breath. His heart was heavy, like a large stone was tied onto and tossed under the lake.

* * *

Returning to the study, Jonathan was waiting outside the door. He doesn’t know how long Jonathan had waited, but his posture like a true knight to the bone was not disturbed in the slightest. Bernard, who exchanged eye contact with him, entered the study.

“Is there any improvement?”

Jonathan asked as he followed Bernard into the study. He didn’t ask where Bernard had gone. It’s because he knows well where his master comes and goes from time to time these days.

“…….”

Bernard answered in silence. Then he floundered and sat down on the chair.

The dark eyes looked grave. An atmosphere that has sunk as low as the bottom of the deep sea. Even without words, Jonathan could guess what it meant.

“Don’t be too upset, Your Highness. It’s just a moment’s surprise. She will soon regain her spirits. Didn’t the doctor say that?”

Jonathan said, consoling Bernard.

“It’s not your fault that she lost her mind.”

“I know. That it wasn’t my fault.”

Bernard, who was sitting in a relaxed posture, looking into the distance and said indifferently.

“But it’s also true that I could have been a little more careful.”

“…….”

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“I lacked consideration for others.”

What would she think when she hears the news? And how will she react?

He vaguely guessed it, but that was it. He never thought of changing his behavior. Even though he knew that ‘ah’ was different and ‘uh’ was different, he didn’t even think about how to approach that sensitive topic.

Bernard inhaled and exhaled slowly. Every time he saw Herietta, the scene of her trembling like a tree and collapsing in front of him was replayed over and over again. As if there was a lump in his throat, he felt uncomfortable.

“It’s presumptuous, but when I see her, I think Your Highness has given her enough consideration.”

Jonathan said.

“Your Highness. There is no way in this world to deliver bad news in a good way. So, even if Your Highness had been considerate somehow, the result would have been the same as it is now.”

“…….”

“Your Highness just did what you had to do. The handmaid was upset because she couldn’t bear the truth herself, and that’s on her.”

“Yes. Sir is right. All of this is due to Herietta’s weakness.”

Bernard grinned and muttered. However, contrary to the answer he agreed with Jonathan, his expression was not so bright.

“Oh right. I have the answer to what Your Highness has ordered me to find out.”

With Jonathan’s words, Bernard turned and looked at him. Seeing that his eyes became clearer, he seemed to immediately understand what he was saying.

“Report.”

“As Your Highness expected, Janice Dolmoran did not use the middle name ‘Herietta’. No, she didn’t even have a middle name from the beginning. Legally too. And to her acquaintances, she was known only by the name of Janice Dolmoran.”

Jonathan reported everything he had found out to Bernard. The situation was so complicated that both the speaker and the listener were confused. Therefore, the story naturally grew long.

In the meantime, Bernard only nodded occasionally, but he never stopped or interrupted Jonathan’s report.

“Based on all these circumstances, that handmaid is definitely not Janice Dolmoran.”

After the long report, Jonathan said with strength in his voice.

“She must be Herietta Mackenzie, the eldest daughter of the Mackenzie family who was suddenly missing, not Janice Dolmoran.”

“…….”

“Everything is as you expected.”

“I don’t know if I should be happy or sad about that.”

Bernard smiled bitterly and muttered half-jokingly.

‘Herietta Mackenzie…….’

Bernard imagined Herietta’s face in his head. Maybe it’s because he has always associated her with the name Janice Dolmoran. The name, Herietta Mackenzie, sounded a bit awkward.

“Did you find out about the Brimdel delegation?”

“Yes. The log clearly stated that there were two women on the delegation. Princess of Brimdel, Sabriel, and her handmaid, Janice Dolmoran. Two people.”

Jonathan answered. Bernard’s eyes narrowed at that.

That day, they found only two women in the forest. Herietta and a corpse.

“Are you sure Janice Dolmoran was with her?”

“Yes. I looked in various ways, just in case, and there was evidence that she had left the capital with Princess Brimdel as a member of a delegation.”

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“What does she look like?”

“Overall she was a woman of thin stature, not very tall, with dark brown hair and dark eyes.”

‘Brown hair and dark eyes.’

Bernard frowned at the unsolvable riddle. He felt like he was missing something important.

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