The Genius’ First Love - Chapter 643

“Unlike you who was brought up in  a warm home with your grandfather and two best friends, she grow up lonely,” She recalled how Aviona was, “I was her only relative left and those times were things were tough and hard in our family’s business and estate so I had to focus on work that I have never realized I left Aviona behind,”

“And so she grew up a bit differently from you. She had no hope for the future as she was the only Leigh heiress, she knew she’s well provided for. So basically she grew up with no one of excitement and dreams about the future,” Lady Portia added, making Xhemin listen attentively as this was the longest time her great grand aunt tells a story of how her late mother grew up. “She was a sad child but she hid those sadness in confidence and bossiness,”

“And then she met your father and for once, she finally had something to look forward to in her future. She hoped to have a family with him,” When she said these, Lady Portia’s eyes brightened but the light was only for a while as her expression fell down with her next words, “But then she learned that he was dying and all her dreams shattered right before it happened. I thought Aviona’s going to fall away with that. She was so devastated,”

“But oh my she didn’t. Like that old missionary friend of mine, she chased what she could with Dr. Melvin. She never let a moment slip right through her hands. She spent all the beautiful days she could with him that when he died, she was left with no regrets,” Lady Portia felt so proud saying that, “And although the days that went after Dr. Melvin’s demise was tough, she endured all the pain knowing she did what she could. This my dove is what I want to tell you, in our life it is important that we live with no regrets,”

“I am not a regretful grand aunt,” Xhemin understood what Lady Portia meant. “Once I have given love my all, it’s just not meant to be,”

“Ironically, you say it with the most regrets,” Lady Portia said, giving Xhemin’s hair a gentle c.a.r.e.s.s. “My dove things are finally getting better. You and the children are finally getting the peace that you all deserve. But every time I look at you these days, instead of peace, I find misery”

Xhemin smiled bitterly. She never thought that Lady Portia would notice as she tried so much to get by each day that passed without him. “This is the payment for the choice I made six years ago. It is my burden to bear,”

“When I chose my family over him and ran away, I lost all my right to love him anymore. I have hurt him and betrayed him. I do not deserve him anymore,” Xhemin said the words thinking about the time she desperately wanted to run to him six years ago. However she was devastated, she was broken and because she can’t risk another loss, she sacrificed Darryl and hurt him by making him believe she had taken her own life. It was the greatest sin she ever made to him and their love.

“He deserves a life without me. He deserves someone new to love. Someone who will bring him the love and joy I was not able to give,” Xhemin sighed and took all the pain inside.

“And you my little dove, what do you deserve? All this misery before you?”

“It is my punishment for betraying our love. Let me bear it,” Xhemin answered, her deep ink eyes faltering.

“No you don’t have to. You do not have to punish yourself for choosing  a desperate choice out of necessity. It isn’t a betrayal Xhemin. You don’t have to keep hurting just because you once left and abandoned him to save your children,” Lady Portia pushed some sense into Xhemin’s heart. She knew she was hurting and she knew it was because she cannot forgive herself for hurting the Lagdameo heir.

“I have been hurt beyond measure. I cannot bring myself to forgive the sins I have made to him and to his family so I can give my family the peace that they deserve. There’s no more remedy to the pain I have caused him,” Xhemin finally said the word that Lady Portia had long suspected. When Darryl left, Xhemin old lady Portia that things between time had been settled and that Darryl signed the divorce papers in peace. She thought that his departure was a mutual concession and that they finally decided to let go of each other because there was no more love in it. However after a few days, Lady Portia noticed Xhemin’s misery and she knew then that she kept longing for him.

“There is a remedy for his pain and you know what it is,” Lady Portia cupped Xhemin’s face with her two big hands. She smiled a bittersweet once as she was reminded of how she used to do this to Aviona when her niece used to have problems on her own.  “All you have to do is forgive yourself for the things you intend not to commit,”

“Grandaunt—”

“You just don’t have a choice then my dove, but you have a choice now,” She cut her off completely and reminded her. “This is the time to choose wisely,”

“I have already chosen” Xhemin refused Lady Portia’s words.

“It wasn’t a free choice because you have been given one”Lady Portia pointed out and it struck right right through Xhemin’s heart deeply, “You would have chosen him”

“You have nothing to lose now,” She encouraged and gave Xhemin a hug full of warmth and love. She knew she needed it, the hug and encouragement. All these times Xhemin had seen her love for Darryl as sinful as everyone was against it—the previous Dr. Miles unintentionally forbade it, the Lagdameos strongly opposed it and even Xhemin’s close friends had their doubts. Now, she wanted to make her see that it wasn’t forbidden at all, it wasn’t just right at that time. This time, she took a step to give her approval even when Xhemin didn’t ask for it for her to see that this was the right time and that she was free to love him if that was what her heart truly d.e.s.i.r.es.