The Healing Sunshine - Chapter 23 Part 1
Wounds left by those who should be family hurt so much, but its the beginning of healing for Xixi.
Chapter 23.1 Times Length (1)
This story was translated with the express permission of the author forhui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or reposting are not authorized.If you are not reading this fromhui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.
The next day, when J Yi awoke, the hands of the clock were already pointing at 3:36 in the afternoon.
Crawling out from beneath her quilt, she quietly slipped off the bed, hoping to first take a shower while he was still asleep. Beside her, J Chengyang, who had fallen asleep still fully garbed in his regular clothing, showed no signs of waking.
In her memories from her adolescent years, she had never before seen such a weary and fragile him
After a shower, she stepped out from the bathroom, her hair still dripping wet, contemplating whether she should wake him to eat something, or allow him to sleep a while longer and simply wait until dinnertime to solve both issues together.
While she was thinking this, she heard a sound behind her.
At the same time, at the front door, there was also some noise. J Yi’s eyes fixed on He Feifei as the latter walked into the home with keys in hand. “You still haven’t gone into the office yet” The voice abruptly cut off. The person speaking was shocked into silence by the emergence of J Chengyang from the bedroom.
Horror managed to successfully appear on He Feifei’s face; then horror became daze, speculation, realization, awkwardness
“Teacher J, ah, such a coincidence” He Feifei forced a laugh. “Well, then, uh, I didn’t sleep at all last night, and I’m especially sleepy. You guys carry on. I’m heading to sleep first.” Tossing out this last sentence, He Feifei hightailed from there and shut her own bedroom door.
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J Chengyang, in contrast, was very much unruffled.
Last night, he had slept beside her in his b.u.t.ton-up shirt and pants, and after an entire night of slumber, there were already some wrinkles in that shirt. However, his build was tall and physique was good, and clothes wore well on him. Hence, he did not appear unkempt and, as a matter of fact, exuded a languid feel. His hair was still so black but was much softer than before, and as he had just awoken, it was even a little disheveled
He seemed as if he wanted to say something to her, but in the end, he did not choose to, in this time, on this morning, say it aloud.
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Having her co-worker, who was also her roommate, walk in on such a situation left J Yi with a feeling of awkwardness intermixed with some sweetness. With her hands, she lightly tugged at some of the creases in his shirt, murmuring, “You should have taken your clothes off last night to sleep” The rest of the words did not leave her lips, for even she detected where this sentence was not quite right.
“Yes,” he agreed with a low chuckle, “I should have taken off my clothes to sleep.”
J Yi knew he did it on purpose. Gnawing lightly on her lip, she stiffly changed the topic. “You slept for so long. Are you still tired?”
“Yes.” He continued smiling. “The bed is too small. The length and width both aren’t really suitable for me to sleep on. I reckon your landlord never even considered renting the home out to men, and that’s why such a small size was ordered. The square metreage of the bedroom is too small, too.” He extended his arm to touch the upper part of the doorframe. “When I’m walking around in your home, I keep feeling like I’ll run into something.”
You’re so tall; of course you feel it’s small here
J Yi, conversely, was very pleased with her new home. Sweeping her eyes all around, she said, “It’s pretty good. I don’t need much s.p.a.ce anyway. I have very little stuff, so just a little corner will be enough for me to store everything.”
Very little stuff. A little corner would be enough to store everything.
Two and more years ago, she had wanted to say something similar, but the words never did leave her mouth.
Prior to receiving actual confirmation that she was accepted into the Foreign Affairs University, she, like all fourth-year undergraduate students, had also put in much effort in hunting for a job. She had gone to interview after interview. From the various major campus-recruitment presentations, to online job postings, to even those large-scale, university-student hiring sessions, she let not a single one slip by. That day at noontime, when she and a cla.s.smate stepped out from a university-student hiring session at the International Exhibition Center, she unexpectedly received a call from her dad.
The relationship between her and her dad had always been the most distant. They would not exchange more than a few words in a year. Suddenly seeing his number on the incoming call display brought about such nervousness in her that her heart pounded heavily, and she wondered what sort of urgent matter might have occurred. She very much hoped that when she picked up the phone, she would hear a sentence along the lines of “How has the job search been lately?” but was also very scared of answering the call
She remembered, at the time, she had stared at her mobile phone for a dozen or so seconds before mustering up the courage to answer it.
“You’ve been looking for a job lately?” Dad’s tone was very much official and business-sounding.
“Mm-hmm.” She wanted to be like the cla.s.smate who was with her, that when she got a phone call from her parents, she could simply complain, complain that the number of people looking for a job this year was just too many, complain that these sorts of large-scale hiring sessions were especially unreliable, complain that those big corporations recruitment processes would put you through seven or eight rounds of torment, basically tormenting you to death But after struggling within herself for a while, she merely stated simply, “I think I’ll find one soon”
“Oh, that’s good, then. My house here is going to be sold straightaway. In these next few days, move your things out from here. Do you have a key?”
She froze for a moment. And then, her eyes instantly reddened.
Those were some of the things that she had moved out from J Chengyang’s home. As the s.p.a.ce in her dormitory was limited, she had temporarily stored them at her parents’ place. Being suddenly informed that she was to move those out had triggered in her a sort of feeling where henceforward, she no longer had a home, and feeling at a loss, she did not know how she should walk out her future path.
“Xixi?”
Dazedly, she made a sound in answer and said, “No. I haven’t had a key since I moved out I’ll go over this afternoon. Leave the key with the neighbour, or you can also leave my luggage with the neighbour. I’ll go grab it”
After the call was hung up, J Yi still stared fixedly at her mobile phone, her thumb incessantly digging at the pink sticker on it. Soon, in a voice choked in her throat, she told her cla.s.smate that she wanted to buy a bottle of water to drink. Without even waiting for her cla.s.smate’s reply, she jogged over to the newsstand across the road. Only after she had managed to force back her tears did she pick up an arbitrary bottle of water and hand some money over to the old woman who was busily tidying the newspapers.
It was in that year’s late spring, early summer that she found out the result on the university website that she had been accepted for admission.
The only feeling she had had at that time was that she could breathe out in relief. Finally, she now had the next place where she could temporarily settle down in and stay.
In the beginning of graduate studies, the people in the dormitory knew that she was from Beijing but had never seen her go home over the weekends, so there had been some puzzlement over this. Out of kindly intentions, they would inquire a sentence or two about it. J Yi had always brushed over this equivocally. Later, everyone grew accustomed to it and did not ask anymore.
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As J Yi spoke with J Chengyang, she pulled open the refrigerator door and took out the large, cardboard carton of Sanyuan-brand milk that she had bought yesterday, wanting to give him some to drink so that there would be something in his belly. To her surprise, when she turned around again, J Chengyang had already taken a key out from his pocket.
Left: Carton of Sanyuan-brand milk. Right: Sanyuans logo.
A silver key to a security doorit was for his home. On the end of that silver key, there was also a key chain that was very new. It was a handmade doll adorned with many little crystals, whimsical and cute-looking.
J Yi’s eyelashes fluttered slowly as she quietly gazed at that key.
He said, “I guessed you would like this sort of key chain.”
She did not utter a word.
“Give me your hand.” His voice told her this.
Half a beat behind, she stretched out her hand, her palm facing upwards, and watched as that key chain came down into her palm.
“Are there any new toothbrushes here?” Bringing his face down, he b.u.mped his chin lightly against her forehead. “It feels really uncomfortable to not wash up and brush my teeth.”
“Huh? Yes.”
J Yi went back into her room to rummage for the spare items that she had bought yesterday. And then, she heard him carry on to say, “I’m going home tonight to pack some things. I might need to stay in the hospital for a period .” His wording sounded nonchalant and ordinary.
“Stay in the hospital?” She grew panicked. Clutching a still-sealed toothbrush in her hand, she spun around.
“Xixi.” In a low voice, he spoke her name, wanting to use this approach to soothe her.
J Yi’s mind was buzzing, and all kinds of terrible speculations popped up in it. But she dared not ask, nor did she know what question she should ask first.
“What’s wrong? Why do you need to stay in the hospital?”
“Xixi.” He called her name in a low tone, trying to calm her down slightly.
“Is it really serious?” J Yi’s eyes were fixed on him.
He fell into a brief silence, contemplating to what extent he should tell her about this. “I underwent surgery last year. The recent follow-up exam showed that my condition isn’t all that good, so I need to stay in the hospital and be under observation for a period.” At the end, he did not forget to add the sentence, “People eat varied grains and cereals[1]; getting sick is very normal.”
J Chengyang quietly said a few more things to pacify her and then told her, his attending doctor who had performed the surgery on him was also in Beijing. That doctor was very familiar with his physical condition, so there should not be any major issues that would arise.
J Yi’s mind was in a chaotic tangle, but she knew that she should not be so immature and make a sick person have to comfort her instead. Trying hard to make herself relax, she told J Chengyang she needed to go back to the newspaper office first, and then she would go to the hospital to find him.
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At some time past seven o’clock, J Yi arrived at the hospital. From the restaurant near the entrance, she bought some takeout for tonight’s dinner for the two of them.
Searching based on the floor that he had told her, she found her way to his hospital room. Just as she was about to knock, she saw through the narrow, tall window in the door that there was a visitor inside. It was a very familiar-looking backside view. Before she could think of who it was, that person had already risen to his feet.
She stopped momentarily in surprise. It was Nuannuan’s father.
She watched as Nuannuan’s father gave J Chengyang a light pat on the shoulder. It appeared he was saying goodbye and was about to leave. Sure enough, right as she took a backward step, wavering over whether she should walk forward and pay her greetings or step aside and hide, J Chengyang had already opened the door of the hospital room.
In this way, the two s.p.a.ces that had been separated by a single door now melded together.
She froze blankly where she was.
Nuannuan’s father also paused, obviously taken aback. “Isn’t this Xixi?”
Somewhat awkwardly, she greeted, “Uncle J.”
Her diminutive build was clothed in a pair of blue jeans and a thin, white sweater, and there she stood in front of an elder, looking well-behaved as she hugged her jacket against herself. In the eyes of Nuannuan’s father, she was still that little girl who had been very close friends with his daughter back then.
“You’ve been busy with your studies all through these last several years? You haven’t even come to see Nuannuan?” After Nuannuan’s father finished casually asking this, he paused briefly. Remembering J Yi’s unique situation, he changed the subject, turning his gaze to J Chengyang. “How did this coincidence happen, that the two of you would run into each other?”
Before J Chengyang had the opportunity to say anything, J Yi already blurted, “It was just by chance that we ran into each other.”
Once she said this, she became aware that she was still holding the takeout boxes of food, and feeling increasingly ill at ease, she shifted those boxes behind her to conceal them a little.
J Chengyang lowered his head to glance at her.
“Oh, so that’s the case.” Nuannuan’s father did not inquire any further about this. Rather, using the tone of an older brother, he urged J Chengyang, “For now, when you’re at home, don’t mention the fact that you’re already divorced. The health of the elderly one is not all that good, and his age is up there, too. He just likes to hear happy news and won’t be all that able to accept this type of news. Chengyang, you should know, your status and part in our family are very special. Father most hopes that you can live a good and happy life.”
Not saying anything, J Chengyang saw Nuannuan’s father to the elevator bank. J Yi stood in front of the hospital room door to wait for him to come back. In that instant earlier when she heard that dialogue, a momentary stupor had struck her, but then she had quickly grasped the reason behind those words.
Her hands were behind her back, and without her even being aware of it, they clenched each other tightly. And then, on this floor that was empty of other people, she paced back and forth, waiting for J Chengyang.
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The nurses at the information desk in the distance were conversing in low voices. They were very far away, and J Yi could not hear what they were saying. After a little while, J Chengyang could be seen at the corner of the corridor, walking back in this direction. It was only now that she noticed he was wearing hospital clothes and had only draped his black jacket across his shoulders. In this early spring weather, the clothing appeared so very thin and not protective against the cold.
When she came upstairs earlier, she had even been deliberately paying attention, trying to ascertain what type of ward this was, but this place that he was staying in was relatively special, and she was unable to determine anything from what she saw.
“Why didn’t you go inside to wait for me?” While her mind was still elsewhere, he had already stepped up in front of her.
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[1]. Literally, “people who eat the five [common] grains and other grains and cereals.” The five grains are referring to the five important grains of ancient China, but is often simply used to refer, in general, to common grains and staple crops. There is a saying that “How can those who eat simply common grains and cereals avoid becoming ill?” It’s basically saying, getting sick is something that happens to everyone.
This story was translated with the express permission of the author forhui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com. All forms of reproduction, redistribution, or reposting are not authorized.If you are not reading this fromhui3r[dot]wordpress[dot]com, the copy is unauthorized and has been taken without consent of the translator.
Additional Comments:
Her dad asked her, Do you have a key? She had to answer,”No. I haven’t had a key since I moved out I’ll go over this afternoon. Leave the key with the neighbour, or you can also leave my luggage with the neighbour. She has spent so many years feeling like she was at the mercy of other people to give her a little bit of s.p.a.ce beneath their roof, and that s.p.a.ce was not even one that she could freely be in whenever she wanted to.But today is significant. Today, she has this tiny bedroom in a little apartment, and it is her s.p.a.ce. And today, J Chengyang gave her a key. She has a s.p.a.ce of her own and a key to a placeand a heartwhere she will always belong. It is like that scene of the past with her father has now been redeemed.
Completed:
57 of 69 Chapter segments
0 of 1 Epilogue