The Homeless Millionaire - Volume 1 Chapter 24 August 29th 1972

It was close to midday when I woke up, and Tracy was gone.

It took me a while to catch on; she hadn’t even left a thank-you note. I made myself a coffee in the kitchen and spent some time drinking it, standing at the window and grinning like a moron. It was a beautiful day, and I actually made all sorts of plans for our day together. S.e.x was off the agenda for a while; I was sore as hell down there.

After I had drank two coffees and smoked a couple of cigarettes I made a cup for her, regretting there was no milk – she liked milk in hers. I actually thought of walking to the nearest store, over six miles each way, to get her some. I concluded I wouldn’t be able to get back before she woke up – hell, it was almost one in the afternoon by then, it was time to show her my brand-new, smiling face. I went and knocked on her bedroom door.

There was no answer. I knocked again: no answer. I opened the door slightly, and peered inside.

She had made up her bed very neatly, I had to give her that. She’d brought two toy suitcases, which she wouldn’t let me touch when she’d showed up; they were gone. My heart took an elevator ride down to my stomach and then way up again, getting stuck in my throat. There was nothing to indicate she’d ever been in that room, not even the smell of her perfume – she’d left the window slightly ajar.

I spent the next few minutes wandering around the house looking for her, as if we were playing hide-and-seek. I guess I needed some time for the facts to sink in. I went out and walked up and down the driveway, looking for fresh tire marks. I couldn’t tell which were fresh, and which were old. She couldn’t have left on foot, carrying two suitcases, even if they were light. I hadn’t heard any cars driving up, but then I had slept like a dead man. It had been more like a total blackout than sleep, actually. Had she bothered to look into my room to tell me she was leaving? Why hadn’t she left a note? My sketchpad was on prominent display in the living room, pencil included. And there also was a small notepad with a ballpoint pen on top of the fridge. Why hadn’t she left me a note? Why did she leave? Why? Why? Why?

I spent a good couple of hours wandering around in a daze, looking everywhere for a clue that would help me understand why she was gone. I was beginning to feel weepy. I went to the bathroom, cursing, and washed my face and it dawned on me that the reason for her departure was looking at me from the mirror. What had I done to make her disappear? I had done plenty to her the previous day and during the night, for sure, but she had liked it. But maybe she just couldn’t stand the thought of me jumping her bones again first thing in the morning. Maybe she’d had her fill of s.e.x-starved maniacs. That f.u.c.k.i.n.g ‘uncle’ character, while she was staying at his house they didn’t pass the time playing chess or Monopoly or whatever.

I got the binoculars and went out on the deck and had a good look at the house across the lake. Nothing was stirring there, but I had to do something, anything, I wasn’t capable of relaxing or even sitting down. I knew that I’d spend the rest of the day wandering around the house like a demented fool if I stayed put.

I ate a quick breakfast standing up and was hoofing it down the track within a few minutes to pay yet another visit to the house on the other shore. I had no idea of what I’d do once I got there, along the way I played different scenarios through my head, some so stupid they made me blush. About halfway there, I thought I could hear a car in the distance and dived into the roadside bushes like a scared animal. I had to smoke a cigarette before I could continue.

I got there around half past three in the afternoon, and spent at least half an hour creeping around and scouting out the area. There was no car in the driveway. I spent another half an hour skulking in the bushes and working up the nerve to go up and have a look inside the house through the windows. My stupid imagination kept conjuring up stuff: I would see that uncle guy dismembering her body. I would get a shotgun blast in the face. I would see her sucking on his c.o.c.k. I had to back off further into the woods and smoke a couple of cigarettes to calm down.

Eventually I retreated all the way back to the track, tidied myself up a little, and then sauntered down the driveway with my hands in my pockets making plenty of noise – I even attempted to whistle a tune. I walked right up to the door and knocked. After a while, I knocked again. Then I banged on that door for a good half minute before trying the handle. The door was locked.

I went around the house, peering through the windows. I couldn’t see the slightest sign of anyone’s presence. It was as if there hadn’t been anyone there for quite a while. Even the chair in which she’d sat crying on my previous visit had been neatly set up against the table. I went back around to the front door and smoked a cigarette to give Fate one more chance of coming up with a surprise. Nothing happened except for a chipmunk that emerged from behind a bush, gave me the evil eye, and scurried back into the forest.

I started on the long, long walk back home. I was so tired I had to stop several times along the way. During one of those stops, just short of the turnoff from the main track, I heard a car. I didn’t see it, but I heard it drive past, going in the direction of Roch’s house.

I got to the house just a few minutes later. The Toyota Corolla that belonged to Roch’s mother was parked right by the front door. Roch was bending over the open trunk, taking out a huge coil of thick rope. He heard my steps crunch on the gravel and looked up, grinning when he saw that it was me.

“Mike,” he said. “Good to see you. I was worried not to find you home. Where have you been? What’s happened? Man, you look like shit.”

“Nice to see you too,” I said. “Let me give you hand with that stuff. What’s that rope for? Can I use it to hang myself?”

“Sure,” said Roch. “But first you’ll tell me what went down, okay?”

“Okay.”

It didn’t work out that way. I was so tired I was falling off my feet. I had to lie down, and the moment I did, I was out like a light.