The Kids Have Changed - Chapter 31
“Nothing happened, Carol.”
“Really?“
“…No. But it isn’t something that you have to worry about.”
I couldn’t tell Carol the truth. Carol was kind, and her empathy might hurt her as much as Julien was hurting now.
“All right. I guess you’ll be troubled if I keep asking.”
“…Yeah.”
At my response, Carol nodded bravely and smiled at me.
“I want to look at that shoe there, too!”
“Okay. Choose everything that you like! I’ll look them over.”
As Carol bounced away, Madame DeJoue came to my side.
“The crown prince said that he’d be going to the mountain cabin.”
“Is that so?”
I nodded slightly to myself. I kept worrying about what Julien was thinking right now.
I felt grateful that I would be able to see him today.
“Please ensure that Carol will never find out about this incident. If it’s that child, she’ll feel hurt, too.”
“…Lady Sharon, are you feeling all right?”
“Excuse me?”
I widened my eyes. I hadn’t considered this question before.
“You care greatly for the crown prince as well. You must be upset, and your heart might be in pain as well. That’s why I ask if you’re all right,” Madame DeJoue said cautiously.
“Ah… I’m all right.”
Madame DeJoue shook her head side-to-side as if she had expected my answer.
“I worry… that you’re taking on too much onto your shoulders. If it’s ever difficult, please let me know. I may not be good at it, but I will try my best to comfort you.”
Without thinking about it, I burst into laughter.
It was because Madame DeJoue looked so severe when she said that she might not be good at something.
“Pfft. Thank you.”
Her sincerity warmed my heart. I was loved so much.
I was truly grateful.
***
Today was too long. The time until I would meet Julien was passing by too slowly.
Madame DeJoue opened the cabin door for me as I hopped off of the carriage.
“Are you not entering?”
I had stopped in front of the door. Madame DeJoue gently pushed my back.
“…What if Julien is hurt a lot? Will I be able to comfort him? What if I’m too nosy?”
It was the first time something like this had happened, so I was troubled. I didn’t know what to say to make him feel better.
“Seeing your bright smile will be enough.”
“…Will it?”
I was a little relieved by Madame DeJoue’s words. I stepped forward across the threshold, where an orange light shone overhead. Then, by the window, I saw the back of the crown prince.
“Julien…”
Without realizing what I was doing, I started running toward Julien’s back. Like a young child hanging off their mother, I hugged Julien tightly.
“Sharon…?”
Julien froze in surprise as I wrapped around him.
“Julliieenn…”
I didn’t mean to draw out his name for so long. I grabbed him even tighter with my arms.
I could also feel Julien’s grip strengthen as he hugged me back. As I felt his even breathing and warm heart, my mind gradually calmed down.
“Are you all right?”
“…I guess you know what happened.”
“…Yeah.”
“I knew that you would.”
His voice was pained in a way that a child’s voice should never be. I felt tears in my eyes. It really wasn’t like me. There were just too many incidents to cry about in this world.
Why did such sad things happen to these kids? It was enough to make me resent the author. Just why did the author write this sort of setting?
The novel that I had read was only a snippet of the events. The difference between reading what the author wrote and experiencing the real events was as different as heaven and earth.
These kids were more hurt, more pitiful than I had imagined, to the point that my eyes were never dry.
I buried my head deeper into Julien’s embrace.
Julien had grown enough to hold me, but there were still so many wounds on his heart.
“Don’t be so hurt…”
I could only say these words to him. I couldn’t help him more.
To some extent, running to meet Julien today was also for my peace of mind. I needed assurance that Julien was fine.
I didn’t know how, but I’ve become close to Carol and Julien like some sticky sap bound us together. If these kids fell, I may also fall off balance.
In this world, Carol and Julien were my everything.
“I hate it when you’re hurt,” I murmured.
Julien sighed deeply.
“Just… Don’t start hating me.”
“What?”
I raised my head in surprise.
Why would I hate him?
Julien got the gist even though I didn’t say it out loud. Julien hesitated, scratching his cheek with a hand even as he continued to hold me.
“I didn’t do anything with that woman. I wouldn’t do something like that with someone that I didn’t want.”
“That goes for anyone,” I whispered.
Julien’s gaze turned from a spot in the air back to me. His eyes were clear, reflecting only me.
I shivered.
“…Yeah. Thanks for coming all the way here. I wanted to see you.”
I smiled. It felt like he had washed away all of my anxieties.
“When you’re here, I don’t feel hurt at all.”
At his whisper, I knew that I had been able to comfort him, and I smiled again.
“Yeah.”
That day, an unfamiliar emotion passed between Julien and me. It was something like falling a bit deeper in water. I fell into the depths of my affection for Julien and Carol, little by little. I was being swallowed up without realizing it.
***
After meeting with Julien, I looked over some documents about the Empress.
“Madame DeJoue, why is the Empress going this far? It makes no sense.”
Madame DeJoue put down the document I passed to her and sighed. Carol had gone to sleep in her room, so it was only Madame DeJoue and me in my bedroom.
“It could be that the tragedy of losing her child… completely ruined her. A parent carries their child deep in their heart.”
“…You sound as if you have a child.”
“Well, I carry Lady Sharon in my heart.”
Ah… I’m getting goosebumps.
As I shivered, Madame DeJoue laughed shakily.
“I guess saying something so unusual made you uncomfortable.”
Madame DeJoue’s voice turned into a hush.
The Empress’s child died from falling off of a horse. That horse had been drugged by an attendant under the order of the First Consort.
However, the Emperor ignored this. Rather, he yelled coldly at the weeping and pleading Empress.
‘You can just have another child!’
The Emperor did not want to lose the support of the First Consort’s family. The Empress’s family had military power, but the First Consort’s family had control over half the empire’s economy. And the Empress, after she had lost her son, was forced to sleep with the Emperor. This eventually led to Julien’s birth.
“The biggest problem is the Emperor, then.”
“…Please don’t go around saying this kind of thing, milady.”
“I know. But I’ll still talk trash about him behind his back.”
“He’s a very dangerous person.”
I felt bitter. If it wasn’t for the Emperor, the Empress and Julien may have lived harmoniously. But the issue was that the Empress wanted to achieve revenge through Julien. Yet, the Empress was protecting Julien from his outside enemies.
“How contradictory.”
Julien was still alive today thanks to the protection of the Empress’s prestigious family.
“It’s a little more complicated than Lady Carol’s case.”
There was no way to help the prince.
Chapter 7. Carol’s Last Test
I was going alone to meet with the prince.
That damn puppy!
I clenched my teeth as we stopped the carriage at a famous bakery in the village.
Ding—
The bright sound of a bell greeted me.
I gathered the bread that Carol mentioned she wanted inside a bag and then bought another bag.
The store was so popular that you had to stop by in the morning if you wanted to buy its bread, which meant I had to stop by on my way to see Julien. Then, naturally, I’d have to buy some for Julien as well.
“Please wrap these separately.”
“All right.”
After paying for it, I returned to the carriage.
I sighed. I needed to have patience.
Today was one of the days that Carol and I were supposed to go see Julien together.
However, I was going alone today because Carol was pretending to be sick.
Why did she always pretend to be sick on these specific days?!
Ah…! Was she being shy?
But she’d been visiting him since she was young, so there was no reason for her to be like this.
I sighed. Deeply.
Then, I placed Carol’s bread securely in one corner of the carriage.
“We’ve arrived.”
The carriage door opened.
The light suddenly shone over me, and I shaded my eyes as I looked out the carriage.
“Oh? What’s this about?”
Today, Julien had come to the carriage to welcome me. The image of the prince as he stood casually outside the castle gates looked freer.
“I thought I heard you coming.”
The prince quietly tilted his head. His red hair was tousled to the side, following that movement.
Ah, what should I do?
He must have been waiting for Carol, but Carol wasn’t inside the carriage.
Julien offered me his arm and helped me down. As he did, I told him the truth.
“Carol couldn’t come because she was sick. Yeah. She’s really, very ill!”
“…What illness?”
Her mind…?
I looked away, holding back my automatic answer. Ah, I shouldn’t hesitate about something like this, or he’d know. But Carol didn’t say where she hurt while she was complaining about being sick.
“Uhh. Uhh… It’s constipation! Sh-she’s stuck in the bathroom!”
…What did I just say?
Aaaaaaah. I’m so sorry, Carol. You were just in your bed…
Your privacy…
The first thing I thought of was the chronic gastritis I had from when I was Nara Lee.
“Pfft. Ahem.”
Julien tried to stop his laughter with a cough, but I heard it anyway.
“…She’ll get better soon.”
“Of course she will. But what’s that in your hand?”
“Oh, this? It’s bread! I bought it since Carol said she wanted to eat…”
“Ah, so even with constipation, she wants to eat bread.”
Why was today going so wrong? Nothing was going my way.
As I bit my lips, Julien casually wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
It was such a natural movement that I didn’t have time to be surprised.
“It’s all right. Sometimes it’s just like that.”
Who was he comforting?
Carol, who wanted to eat bread while being constipated, or me, who could only spout bullshit today?
“…Thank you for your understanding.”
This was the only response I could give.
“…how cute.”
“What?”
I must have heard wrong.
I really thought I heard something, but Julien was looking straight ahead, not at me. His mouth was tightly closed like he had never opened it, so maybe I did hear wrong.
I sighed.
Today was indeed a weird day.