The Knightly Elven… Spider? - 3.21 Confusion

I was still resting, my torso on the very same abdomen that Cellestra was inspecting from below. Strangely enough, as much as she had felt awkward about it, I didn’t feel a grain of embarrassment at the situation. I knew that Hograd’s intentions had been to turn me into nothing but a spider and as such, I was fairly confident I possessed one’s reproductive organs. These had to be located down there somewhere, and I was at least somewhat curious about what they looked like, but still, it left me cold.

The only ones I’d been mildly ashamed of when I evolved into an Arachne were my normal ones and those were well hidden under a thick layer of hair.

“Well,” Cellestra called while lying on her back, the light-giving orb in her hand to see better. “You’re not so different from an actual spider down here.”

“How invested were you in spider anatomy?” I asked, wondering exactly how much she knew.

“Some basic things. Like, I know where things are located, for the most part.”

“How about the breathing thing? How does that even work?” I questioned, confused as I knew I wasn’t inhaling air with my arachnid mouth either.

“Here,” She said, running a hand across the carapace until I felt her find a slit somewhere at the side, close to where my abdomen connected to my cephalothorax. “This is how you breathe. Air goes in here. You seem to have four of these openings.”

“Wait a second,” I replied. “Remember when we crossed the river? You just made me realize that I can’t possibly swim.”

“You’re right. I never thought about this back then. Swimming would have been a terrible idea.”

“You have no idea how thankful I am to have that water walking skill, and that nothing went wrong.”

“I can imagine. I’m sorry for not telling you earlier. I never knew you didn’t breathe normally.”

“I wonder if I can, though. You know, inhale air like you do to replace whatever my abdomen does.”

“No idea,” Cellestra said softly. “And I don’t know if that’s something you want to try.”

“Better to do in a controlled setting than in a potentially dangerous situation, no?”

“I mean… if you want.”

“Some other day,” I said. “Can’t be bothered to do that now. So, how about the eggs? Should I be afraid?”

“Do you have any idea how weird it is to me that you can be so casual about this?” She asked in clear disbelief, but I also heard a bit of amusement in her voice.

“It’s not like I can do much about the way it works,” I shrugged, trying not to think about it too much. “Might as well make sure the mood is light, no?”

“You never cease to amaze me, Kealyna. Honestly.”

I smirked as I felt her hand trace my exoskeleton once more until it had apparently found what she was looking for.

“Here,” She patted the spot before getting out from under me. “That’s enough, right?”

“Yeah,” I said, pulling her up and into my arms, her face still flushed. “And thank you for doing that. I’d be lost without you, you know?” She didn’t move for a moment, then returned the hug, nodding slightly. We stayed that way for a bit before stepping apart and resuming the conversation.

“I feel better now that I have some idea of what to expect.”

“That worried?” She asked softly.

“I’m not worried. I’m just… confused I guess is a good way to put it. I don’t know what to expect and I feel desperate to know more about anything that has to do with this. I realize only now how weird all of this must sound. I’m sorry.”

“Hey,” Cellestra said calmly as she knelt before me, taking me in for another hug, her head against my stomach. “It’s alright.”

My eyes closed by themselves as I ran my hands through her hair.

“The truth is, I’m scared.”

“What are you scared of?” She asked, not breaking the hug.

“In a way, I’ll be a mother, and I’m scared of seeing it like that. I know this is a skill and all, and the spiderlings spell is a tool, a means to an end, but I’m still scared.”

“By the goddess,” She whispered. “That is so much like you. I don’t know if I can help you answer any of those questions. I fear that’s something you’ll have to overcome yourself.”

“I know,” I said with a sigh.

“Do you want to hold out on this until later, perhaps?”

“No,” I said clearly. “I’ve already promised myself to see this through. I don’t break my promises.”

“I hope things will work out,” She said soothingly, before kissing my belly button. “You know I don’t like to see you worried.”

“We will see,” I said, still stroking Cellestra’s lovely hair. “What do you think they’ll look like?”

“Your spiderlings?” She asked. “I hope they will look somewhat like you. White and fluffy jumping spiders would be kind of cute, no?”

I smiled at her words, but at the same time, a pang of sadness hit me.

“I know, and that’s part of why I’m afraid.”

“I understand,” Cellestra whispered. “But that’s enough worrying for the day. It’s already dark outside. Let’s get some sleep shall we?”

“Easy for you to say,” I said with a grin.

“Well, at least it puts one of your heads to rest. That should count for something.”

I nodded and continued grinning as she took off her shirt and pants which left me staring while I put the pillow in its place and lay myself down on it, with Cellestra soon joining, hugging my torso from the side.

Some quiet minutes passed in which we both relaxed, but neither of us had said goodnight yet, making it feel as if there was still conversation to be had before Cellestra would sleep.

“Hey, Cel?” I asked with a whisper.

“Hm?”

“Would I be a good mom?”

“Of course you would.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I don’t know. I just know you would do a great job.”

“Thank you,” I said before kissing her forehead. “That means a lot to me.”

“No need to thank me. I mean it.”

“I know.”

Another minute of silence passed and this time I was completely out of things to say, so I figured it was time to put a proper end to this day and wait for the next to arrive.

“Good night, Cellestra,” I whispered.

“Good night, Kealyna.”

It didn’t take long for Cellestra to fall asleep. I knew that despite her not showing it, she was exhausted. She managed to hide it well, but the heavy armor had taken its toll, and I knew it would continue to do so for a good while.

Soon enough, I felt the disconnection occur between my arachnid head and elven torso, leaving my one awake mind to ponder over whether I’d made the right decision.

I was deathly afraid I’d develop some kind of relationship with the spiderlings created by my spell and as much as I told myself otherwise, the fear of creating a bond only for them to die as fodder was something that pained my heart and mind both.

Why Elysa? Why do I have a spell like this?

No answer. Perhaps that was for the best.

I tried to put it out of my mind, but it always returned. It left my mind exhausted, and with it, my entire body. When morning arrived, and although my other half had slept throughout the night, I was still tired.

I gave Cellestra all the time she needed until she woke up by herself. When she did, I tapped myself awake while she got something to eat and drink.

“Morning, slept well?”

I shook my pedipalps in reaction to her question.

“You’ve been worrying about this all night, haven’t you?”

I nodded as soon as I gained control of my head.

“Poor thing,” She said softly, worry evident in her voice.

“I’ll be okay. Don’t worry too much. Let’s just focus on what we have to do before that; the adventurer and carpenter guilds.”

“You wanted to do that first?”

“Yeah. I want to get that done quickly so we can stay here for the rest of the day.”

“That’s fine. Just do what makes you feel comfortable,” Cellestra said with a sweet, caring voice, already brightening my day.

I didn’t say anything and merely nodded. At the same time, I started collecting her armor and bagged it. There was no reason for her to wear it today unless we were talking about training purposes, and I was sure that was the last thing on both our minds at the moment.

And so, we headed out to the city, making a quick stop at the shrines before we continued.

“So what will we ask Felmar?” Cellestra asked on the way.

“Honestly? I don’t know, but the word of me has probably spread so I doubt we’re going to pick up any arachnophobes. I’m really more a person that is interested in seeing someone at work, so I suppose we’re just going to be looking for a minimum rank and then ask if it’s possible for Felmar to choose the recruits by himself. He is bound to know a lot more about them, and then we can go from there. We’ll take whoever he suggests and see what they can do.”

“That doesn’t seem like such a bad idea… if he is up for that.”

“I have the feeling it’s going to, you know, cost extra, but it’s something I’d gladly do to save more headaches. I’ve got plenty of those today.”

“Might just ask him if he has something for that too.”

I chuckled at her response.

“Not a bad idea. We should see if there are some potions and other things we can stock up on. Perhaps some reagents so you can make some yourself.”

“Sounds like we have a plan for the day.”

“I think we do,” I said, nodding.