The Lady Wants To Rest - Chapter 40

Since I wanted to see how the Academy had changed within those 200 years personally, I raised my heavy body.

For some reason, I wanted to walk alone, so I told Marie to stay at the dorm.

‘At first, it was just this main office building, but it has changed a lot.’

I thought as I looked at the old building standing tall in the middle of the campus.

I looked around the academy, but nothing remained of what it was 200 years ago.

Even the main building, where I used to stay, appeared to be newly built after being burned down in a large fire. ‘I feel bitter for some reason.’

I smiled bitterly.

Everything I had cherished had disappeared with the flow of time and it felt as though only my reminiscing heart was left.

‘It’s been a long time, so it’s natural.’

I shook my head and thought.

‘But this rock remains.

I touched the large rock in front of the main hall.

When I looked closely at the side of the rock, the letters were engraved.

‘The writing is also left.’

It was so faint that you would not notice it if you did not observe it thoroughly. The handwriting was also childish.

It was hard to recognize because it was crooked like a child wrote, but what do I mean.

I knew well.

I love you, Teacher Renault!!

It was the handwriting left by the children when the main office building was built  200 years ago.

‘At that time, I scolded them for carving letters into a rock with a knife.”

I calmly closed my eyes.

The memories of being with them in the past came to mind.

‘I want to see them..’

In the end, I thought to myself deep in my heart.

I missed the children I had been with.  Of course, it was a wish that could never be achieved.

In fact, longing was a familiar feeling to me.

Missing the past was my destiny as punishment for my previous life for eternity

I.

When I thought about the past, the only thing that remained in my heart was the faded bitterness, but I still longed for it.

I couldn’t help lifting it.

‘I don’t want to see only those children.  The same goes for those I met in my last life. I miss everyone a lot.’

I had a hard time.  Are they all comfortable now?

I remembered the 53rd life I was trying to avoid recalling, the life just before this one.

The moment I lose my life, I immediately reincarnate into someone else’s body.

So, it had been less than a month since my last life was over.

‘The central region would be noisy about my death. Since I was rather famous, news of my death must have started to spread across the West as well.’

I smiled bitterly.

I remembered the last moments of my past life.

All were dead.  One person who said they would try to save me somehow, but everyone lost their lives in front of my eyes

I witnessed all of my precious people dying before my eyes, and the last time I died.

‘Stupid guys.  Anyway, I didn’t have a chance of survival.  Why so stupidly…..

I suppressed my feelings.

It had been 200 years since the events in Renault’s memories, yet for me it had only been a month since the events of my previous life.

In other words, I had been separated from my loved ones by death for less than a month.

So no matter how much, I couldn’t think calmly.  My emotions were not well-controlled.

“It’s done.  What are you doing when you think of a life that’s over?  I’m Ruby now.  Don’t think about your previous life.”

I shook my head strongly.

I forcefully buried the feelings which had come out in my heart and suppressed them hard.  They couldn’t leak out.

So there.

I will live this life with a rest unconditionally.  I have struggled this far.

So, I stepped back to reflect on my goal for this life.

The weather is nice, so let’s walk slowly and take a nap in a quiet garden.

********

I toured the campus further and took a nap in the back of the garden where no one was likely to find me.