The Legend Of Tripar - Chapter 3 Road To Chicago

While they were on their way to Chicago Bernie asked them if they had ever been to Chicago in to which Tripar replied “Y’know I’ve never been to Chicago, but I’m very Sure Rywar has been there because he always keeps saying how Chicago has some of the purest Crack.” After he said this the car went silence and there was a real bad stench in the air and Tripar went on to comment on the stench by saying “Goddamn what the fuck is that smell, it smells like some stank ass pussy.” To which Tripar then turned his backwards and caught in his line of sight Rywar just exploding with shit going all over the wall and ceiling to, and when he turned his head a little bit of it got on his face and he immediately threw up everywhere and this got Bernie to stop the camping van and he got out of the van to throw up. Once the puke and shit fest was all over Bernie told them to wait outside of the car so he could clean it up. While Tripar and Rywar where outside the car Tripar asked Rywar why he shit all over the RV and to this Rywar replied “I don’t know but I think it was that fucking chipotle, I put way too much hot sauce on my burrito bowl which set my stomach and bowels on fire.” Right after he said this they spotted a den that looked like it was that of a dragon’s den. They entered the den just to be greeted by a dragon that seemed to be an infant. They asked the dragon if it spoke English and it somehow responded with a highly educated British accent saying “Yes, chap, I indeed graduated with a masters in the English language from Oxford University.” So they asked the dragon if he wanted to join them and he responded “Yes my good man now would you like some tea and crumpets oh and may I remind you I also have biscuits.” As they left the cave with their newfound friend they spotted a herd of gnomes yelling such phrases ad “MYY NAM EHH JEFFF!” and “DEEEEEEZ NUTTSSS!” and many more as they went over to see what all the commotion was the gnomes started to get closer and more aware of the, these gnomes all had black gnome hats long brown beards red shirts and black pants. When they finally came up to the gnomes the gnomes started yelling “WHATS UP DRAMA ALERT NATION IM YOUR HOST KILLER KEEMSTAR!” As the gnomes charged at them they managed to fight most of them off because they were pretty sure they had some sort of disability or something like that. They managed to escape just in time and got onto the RV and Bernie asked what had just happened to which they replied “look out the window dumbass.” And he looked to his right and immediately drove away. About 3 hours later they were all getting hungry and decided to stop at Old Mama June’s Diner, while they were there they saw what looked to be a brother and sister the brother was tall Asian and very skinny with an extreme combover and kept yelling “ohh eww Jake Paul is so cringe better rant about this to my twelve year old fans.” The other was a little girl with what seemed to be a stack of money on the end and a bunch of green paper in the middle, she also spoke with and annoying high pitched monotone voice and was Asian as well and kept yelling “It is little Tay and I make more than your ma-ma-s rent, my toilet costs more than your house.” They both came over to him and they wouldn’t stop yelling the same exact thing and the older brother then slapped Tripar with the weakest slap possible because his arms appeared to be about as big as a hockey stick and soon after he got punched by Bernie and they continued in their way to the Diner and in the cafe they ordered pancakes and while they were waiting on their food a giant African American fellow walked up to them wearing a giant fur coat and a white fedora with gold trimmings and a giant cane covered in rubies. As he walked up they all started to get worried, when he got to the table he spoke with the deepest raspiest voice imaginable and said “So where you boys headed to?” Tripar said “oh where just going to Chicago to visit a wise fellow by the name of Chief Keef.” Right after Tripar said this the pimp’s face went completely blank and he responded “for the prophecy” and then Bernie added “yes and also I want to see what kind of crib keef is living in right now.” Then the dragon said “Hello, chap, do you mind getting me a meeting with one of your most promiscuous ladies?” The pimp automatically responded with a highly educated British accent as well “Oh well you see my good chap they are all very promiscuous and extremely prepared for another sophisticated man like yourself, chap.” They went on to talk with this pimp about the prophecy and their journey and the dragon fished up and said o the pimp “well, chap, these ladies you have here are mildly adequate.” And they continued on their trip.