The Legendary Hero’s Brother - Chapter 33 Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

(From the point of view of Vonerich Lardizabal and Lars Frigg)

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I continued to stroll through the smog-less pathway that the God of Death Vilhelm had laid out for us. If we walk this path, we would be in Varba within a week, which is definitely a long time now. The ground is just as dry, blackened, and dusty throughout our long journey, but it doesn’t feel like I’m tired at all. Heck, I knew that I was worn earlier, but I felt like I suddenly became rejuvenated.

I wonder how long we have been walking so far?

For real? I haven’t even realized that. Did His Highness Vilhelm also make it possible for my power to be so strong that I wouldn’t need sleep anymore?

Well, yeah, I still feel hungry, which is why the beef jerky that the God of Death had given us is so handy. So, how exactly is it that I haven’t slept for the span of that 33 hours?

…

You did what?

Then, please, explain!

…

Couldn’t you have asked me first before snatching my soul away from my fucking body?

No, Frigg, I get that part, at least. You probably just laid my body up somewhere on the ground and remained awake, so you can monitor if monsters will suddenly pounce at us.

You still didn’t explain why you snatched my body away without my permission, Frigg!

You better!

What? You wanna ask how I get all the boys and the girls easily, but you don’t?

Oh? Really? I never thought you would ever be curious about such a thing, Frigg.

Isn’t that obvious? It feels good, and it’s fun!

Damn, Frigg, I never thought you have an attitude!

HAHAHAHA! Hmm… You know what, if you do want a deeper answer as to why Varba values sex in such high regard, then we can just say that it’s all because of our respect for the God of Death. Varban citizens are simply mimicking the life of His Highness Vilhelm and the God of Life Dion.

Ahh… Do you not know the ancient tale of Dion and Vilhelm?

Well, yeah, that’s pretty much the first part of the story that Varban parents LOVED to tell their children to make their children blindly obey. However, that’s really not the full story.

Oh, very relevant– you’ll love it! I actually think that it’s the best story to answer that stupid question of yours.

I was about to tell you, but you kept interrupting me. Okay, so the story goes that one of the three Old Gods named Hatu created three children: the beautiful Philomena who ruled the sky, the brave Frederica who ruled the water, and the ruthless Vilhelmina who ruled the earth. Hatu gave his three children the gift of being both a man and a woman as they went about their lives in Luxael, the world that the three Old Gods have created. However, Hatu gave his three children one warning: never believe that humans are their equals. Philomena agreed to what Hatu had proclaimed, so she proclaimed, “I adore the humans! They must worship me as their superior!” and that’s why the humans look up to the sky. Frederica also agreed to what Hatu said and proclaimed, “I loathe the humans! They must never set their eyes on me!” as she plunged herself deep into the ocean, and that’s why we never know what lies beneath. However, Vilhelmina protested, for he doesn’t agree to what his father says, after all, the creator of the humans is his best friend, Dion, whom Vilhelmina loved and adored from the shadows. Thus, Vilhelmina proclaimed, “I do not love humans, but I also do not hate them. They are just like me, and I am just like them. Why must I not view them as equals?” Hatu knew exactly why his child was rebelling so, and that’s because of Vilhelmina’s infatuation with Dion, clouding his eyes from the sheer ugliness of humans. Outraged, Hatu banished Vilhelmina away from his court, so his child could go on and stay with Dion and the humans if the then young God of Death loved them that much! However, before Vilhelmina could leave the hall of Hatu, the Old God had taken the young Vilhelmina’s right to be a woman. Thus, he will always be a man and nothing more. Vilhelmina was then stripped away of all his rights as a God and was thrown to the most barren and lifeless place in Luxael as punishment. Then, Vilhelmina traveled all over the world to meet the many humans that he found as his equal just so he could see if his decision to defend them was worth it. There, Vilhelmina saw the ruthlessness, greed, violence, and degeneracy of humanity as well as all the things they would do to their fellow humans just to get what they want. Saddened by what he saw, Vilhelmina sought Dion in his realm at the west where it’s always freezing cold just to ask him, “Why did you make the humans so stupid and greedy and violent?” To which Dion replied as he embraced the broken down Vilhelmina, “Because I gave them the power to love.” Knowing what Vilhelmina had gone through just because of his love for Dion and the humans, the God of Life had been long infatuated with the then young Vilhelmina and stalked him earnestly throughout his journey. Thus, Dion learned to love Vilhelmina just as much as he loved his own creations. As a way to repay Vilhelmina from the pain and suffering he had gone through after defending humanity, Dion proclaimed, “From now on, all I own is yours. The humans may live their life temporarily in Luxael, but they will soon discover that an eternity with a beautiful God like you is what awaits them on the other side.” The God of Life Dion then kissed the trembling lips of the God of Death before continuing, “I hope you can find a place in your heart to love their creator forever as well.” Crying in joy, Vilhelmina returned to Hatu to say, “I understand now why you think we are not equal to them, father. They are ruthless, greedy, and violent, but I still love them even after all that I have seen.” Thus, Vilhelmina would create a great bridge that connects Nihilheim to the freezing realm of Dion, and there, in the middle of the bridge where the nothingness and the cold meet, Vilhelmina, and Dion would have so much rough sex until all of the souls following Vilhelmina would freeze. Oh yeah, that’s also the mythological explanation of why our bodies freeze when we die.

…

Yep.

I mean, HAHAHAHA! It wouldn’t have the same impact without the context!

I then moved my gaze from afar and saw what seemed like a giant lump of human corpses mashed together to form what looked like a light-bulb-shaped monstrosity. There are small blinking eyes all over the top of its body, while numerous limbs are hanging all over the place. Meanwhile, instead of a normal pair of feet, what lies there underneath are two naked men standing upside-down.

“So, you are the humans that our Lord has chosen!” The countless mouths hanging from all over this disgusting beast had spoken those words in unison, creating a choir of words directed towards us.

Hey, Frigg, didn’t the God of Death say that no monster would ever fight us?

Then, why is this piece of shit going beast mode right at us?

You can tell?

Cool.

I was about to strike when suddenly, the beast pounced right towards me swiftly. In less than a second, the damn Mashed-Person was suddenly standing right in front of me. “DIE!” The beast’s mouths screamed in unison. He then readied the countless feet and hands hanging all around his body to strike at me.

Suddenly, my body moved in such swift and precise movement all over the place in a calculated fashion. Thus, without even an ounce of effort, I managed to outspeed all of the attacks coming right at me. However, I almost feel like my body is moving on its own, bending and dashing off into the side while using my arms to shield from other oncoming strikes. I am not the one controlling my body! Are you using my body without my knowledge again, Frigg!?

OH MY GODS, FRIGG! Why are you being so rude right now?

I’m just surprised! You’re usually quiet!

Okay. Fine!

I then launched myself back and landed on my knees before moving my arms in a swift slashing motion before me. When I did so, two crescent-shaped breezes suddenly spewed out of my arms and flew towards the Mashed-Person’s human feet thing. The beast then groaned lightly before it inevitably fell lifeless into the floor.

Wow… I never thought that spell could get that sharp!

And it’s definitely because of you.

Thus, we continued to walk towards Varba as I saw countless monsters running towards the beast we had just mutilated to eat its decaying corpse.