The Male Lead Is Obsessed With Proposing to Me - Chapter 17

Because, Senelia’s face as she held onto the hem of her dress when greeting him, was casual.

“I see you, Grand Duke.”

It wasn’t Senelia’s intention.

Benelucia had never made even the slightest excuse when his first scandal broke out. Not even when the second one occurred.

So, Senelia had learnt to put up with it ever since that time.

It was because she thought that if she longed for Benelucia’s love, she would become a common sort of person in his eyes, thus, he would say goodbye to her.

As such, since their first interaction, Senelia was always careful to not cross the line.

Today’s actions were just one of them.

Senelia did not receive any word from the emperor, so, she did not know that the rumors about Benelucia’s recent scandal were not the duke’s intention, but masterpiece created by the emperor.

I have no choice but to behave like I normally would.

If that had been his first dalliance, Senelia may have noticed Benelucia’s hints as soon as the scandal broke out.

However, after eight years, she had already closed her heart, keeping it tightly sealed.

It even prevented the slight expectation that the Grand Duke may one day love her from blossoming.

Now, even the slightest of hopes had left Senelia, it was impossible for her notice the duke’s true words.

After, sharp words escaped Benelucia’s lips, words that could have been avoided had he known what truly lay in Senelia’s inner thoughts.

“…Sally, how can you be so carefree?”

Benelucia asked, as if arguing unwillingly.

And then, he immediately regretted it.

But no one could take back the words they have already spoke.

Benelucia, himself, couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment in time in which he had fallen for Senelia.

Still, in a dramatic moment of love, when he realized it, it spurred him on even more.

He wanted to hug her whenever he could, inhale her scent as he buried his head in the nape of her neck, and then kiss her lips.

His instincts, ready for action, following the path of anyone who suddenly realizes they’re in love.

[T/N: Meaning he fell in love, so he immediately wants to express it. -_- ]

So, when he confirmed with his own eyes that the woman he loved was perfectly alright with him being in a dalliance, Benelucia found himself unable to pretend that he could accept it.

Senelia was perplexed by her current situation.

“…I don’t understand why the Grand Duke is questioning me.”

Her reply slipped from her mouth.

She felt embarrassed, the habit of always carefully selecting her words in front of Benelucia seemed to have abandoned her.

As the Grand Duke’s expression hardened at her words, Senelia’s embarrassment grew stronger.

She tried desperately to escape the situation somehow, but in the end, she couldn’t speak.

“Ha… Sally, you… Do you really have no feeling for this situation?”

A sigh of disappointment left Benelucia.

It was futile to run here in the morning.

He had wanted to rectify Senelia’s misunderstanding, but it seemed that Senelia didn’t even have the slightest bit of jealousy or anger in her heart.

“In that case…”

Senelia blinked and thought again.

She recalled that the only new gossip or information that occurred that morning were the rumors of Benelucia’s affair.

“…Sally…”

This time, Benelucia panicked. He called for her.

Because… Senelia… Was smiling.

***

Senelia had slept in that morning.

Unfortunately, after eight years of adjusting to Benelucia’s lifestyle, she had become an early riser.

When she had heard of the rumors about him from the maid that morning, she didn’t mind.

This had already been the fourth time, including the time he brought another noblewoman to the tea party.

But even then, Senelia knew Benelucia had never forgotten Lucalina.

The reason why Senelia had accepted such behavior was because she knew that from the beginning, the other young ladies could not replace Lucalina, and they were just brought about out of necessity.

In any case, in terms of necessity, they would never beat herself. The one who had been with the duke for eight years.

Even with me, Benelucia still needed extra shields to protect Lucalina, whom he loves so very much, from the emperor.

That was the ‘truth’ of the scandals that Senelia had assumed.

So, she had remained silent.

But, Benelucia had asked her if she about her feelings regarding his dalliance.

Senelia’s illusions were shattered.

…How can you ask me of such a thing?

She was briefly speechless.

She never wanted to love Benelucia.

However, Senelia was human. An ordinary woman.

The man who shined brightly, even if he just stood still, still caught her attention.

Her eyes were touched, then her body, so it wasn’t difficult that her heart followed.

At some point, Senelia had also fallen in love with Benelucia.

That was how it happened.

Sadly, Senelia had to survive the beast of an emperor, and love did not guarantee life.

During the first dalliance and the second, she was fine. She had to be.

It was all thanks to that mentality that Senelia was able to remain firm even up to the present.

Now, to you, who had me go through all of those scandals… You’re asking me such a question.

The emotions that had been smothered inside her suddenly reared their head.

So, she laughed.

I don’t want to be angry, because I really don’t want to get angry.

It was the best choice Senelia could make in that brief instant.

“Sally?”

Senelia didn’t notice the embarrassment in Benelucia’s voice.

It was because she was tired, tired of just pick up her emotions without ever expressing them.

“Duke. How am I supposed to get involved in your affairs.”

Senelia couldn’t afford to understand why Benelucia had come to her.

In the end, she chose to do what she had always done.

“Now I know it well, Your Majesty and I have nothing to with one another.”

When Senelia finally spoke, there was a silence between them that followed.

She had nothing more to say, and Benelucia did not want to say anymore neither.

Benelucia covered his face with his hand, suppressing his emotions.

The pride of the Grand Duke, who lived as an arrogant ruler, was shattered in an instant.

The fact that he was the only one who was terrified proved that the ball was in Senelia’s court.

He was naturally the person who always made the choices, so when he learnt that he wasn’t, he could not immediately accept it.

Of course, if Senelia had known, she would have thought it was absurd.

The battle for taking the initiative that everyone tries at least once in a relationship, was also the pride that everyone discards at least once.

Whether Benelucia wanted such a thing or not, Senelia had been with him for a long time and she had long thrown it all away.

“…That’s right.”

Benelucia finally spoke after some silence.

His pride, which had been damaged in an instant, made him go crazy.

“It’s fine if you don’t care.”

He turned away quickly.

I don’t want to explain my feelings to Senelia, she seems fine with anything. Even if I’m with another woman.

Senelia didn’t chase after him like he before. Because that’s what Benelucia saw Senelia as.

For example, if Benelucia goes, Senelia goes. And if he comes, she comes. Like a pet.

Though, she didn’t stop him from going.

Benelucia had always wanted Senelia to catch him.

But, if he didn’t speak of it directly, how would she ever know?

***

Benelucia was originally planning to go to Cliff de Helios after he had cleared up the misunderstanding with Senelia.

But whatever he did was of no use as Senelia didn’t care.

Rather, waiting for Benelucia, who returned to his mansion, was the person whom he did not want to meet the most at that moment.

“Hello, Ben. Where are you coming from early in the morning.”

Before the butler could inform Benelucia, Lucalina, who was waiting inside, had already noticed his presence and came out to meet him.

Benelucia groaned as he faced her.

Lucalina had been close to Benelucia since their childhood, so, it would have been impossible to refuse her visit on just the authority of the butler or head maid.

Prior to Senelia’s residency in the Grand Duke’s residence, Lucalina was the only other person who was allowed to visit the Grand Duke mansion without prior permission, which was permission in accordance with noble etiquette.

He, too, would have welcomed her joyously if he hadn’t realized that his first love was over.

But I can’t now.

Because Benelucia didn’t love Lucalina.

It wasn’t funny.

The fact that the person he had waited for all this time became such an uncomfortable person for him to be around.

“…I’m sorry, Luna. I’m so tired today… I don’t know what you’re talking about, but can we talk about this next time?”

Benelucia couldn’t even make eye contact with Lucalina.

A person who had been sent away from the capital for eleven years, for him, had just returned. And, here he was, not even ashamed to send such a person away.

Lucalina was speechless.

When she came to visit Benelucia, she probably didn’t expect to hear something like that at all.

Benelucia felt extremely tired.

Cliff was wary of his relationship with Lucalina, so today’s visit would have surely fallen into the ears of the emperor.

Senelia. Lucalina. Cliff… Nothing was going the way Benelucia wanted it to.

“…Ben, why are you avoiding me?”

Lucalina, who was watching Benelucia, broke the silence that followed first.