The Man of the House - Chapter 109

“Hey, baby… here’s the bill,” A woman handed me the check with some money, her hand reached out and caressing the back. “How about the rest is your tip?”

“Just the tip?”  I smirked.

“Oh, baby, if you want it all, just ask.”

I pursed my lips. “Sorry, I have a girlfriend.”

“Tsk… a little girl. How about you let a grown woman show you how it’s done. Want a taste of mommy?”

“I’ve already tasted that too.” I chuckled as I pulled the money and walked away, leaving her with her mouth open.

“Noah, you’re so bad…” Another boy walked by. “I don’t know how you deal with those old perverted women. Every time they look at me, I want to take a shower.”

I pulled the money they had handed me, a $100 bill, which was used to cover only a $15 order.

“The money helps.” I handed it to him. “Throw it in the pot.”

His mouth opened and closed, and then shook his head. “You know, Daryl has been saying shit about you behind your back, but he’s just jealous cause he works another shift and can’t share in the tips. You make twice what any other guy makes. Even if you licked every girl’s cunt, I wouldn’t judge.”

“Uhh, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

He let out a laugh before coughing. “On another note, I’ll take your two tables if you take the next guests.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s a 7-person party. All women. Good money in that. You work them over for us. Big tips.” He gave a thumbs-up before pointing to the front where a new group of women was being led by the female maître d’.

As soon as I saw them, my expression sank. “No, we won’t be getting much from this batch.”

“Why not?”

I let out a sigh. “It’s my family.”

“You’re family are all cute girls? Lucky…”

“Who’s being a hoe now?” I asked.

“Hey… I never said I wasn’t a hoe.” He laughed, holding up his hands. “I just don’t show it until she’s boughten me dinner first.”

He walked away as I turned to my family, still watching them with a regretful heart from a fair distance. Time was still moving on. I had been doing my best to improve. My grades were getting better, and I was starting to bring in some money. By the end of summer, I believed I’d be able to get a car of my own. Also, my family and I had never been closer. That didn’t mean I wanted them bugging me at work!

London, Mom, and the rest had all come. As soon as Mom saw me, she started waving, and I could only cringe internally. However, I knew I was already assigned to their table. The maître d’ happened to have a crush on the guy I was just talking to, so when he said he was taking two of my tables and I had this one, it was already set. I supposed I could beg him to undo it, but I was only just having some success dealing with male friends.

Men could be extremely petty and catty toward each other. For the first few weeks I had been in this world, I had decided to pretend they barely existed. However, guys did act like women from the old world, and I found myself enjoying such interactions once in a while. As I dealt with them more, I found men in this world easier to talk to.

Every guy had such bravado in my old world. Even if they had issues, they’d never admit them, even to other guys. If I had a problem, any guy wouldn’t hesitate to tell me about it. I had an hour conversation once with a guy about how his penis was a bit crooked and he worried girls would laugh when they saw it. I’m not saying that was necessarily better, but it did relieve some stress learning that every guy was just as neurotic and as insecure as me.

Either way, it was a delicate balance remaining on a guy’s good list. The pot idea where all of our tips were split with each other went a long way toward endearing me with the guys and girls I worked with. I had put the suggestion with the boss, and after a little bit of flirting, she quickly caved and made it optional for those who wanted in. Since I made more tips than everyone else, it got to the point everyone working with me eagerly jumped into the tip pot. Thus, I wasn’t going to rock the boat just as things were getting good by complaining.

So, I could only suck it up and grab the menus and head over to my family’s side, hoping they behaved themselves and didn’t cause me any trouble.

“You know, I’ve never eaten here.” Mom was saying.

“Then why did you guys come.” I couldn’t stop myself from demanding as I walked around the table, handing out the menus.”

“Noah in a waiter outfit.” Kelsey grinned. “I really like it. You can service me any time. Ow!”

“Sorry, my foot slipped and I kicked you.” I declared.

“Does my cute baby not want us here?” Mom asked, trying to look upset.

“That doesn’t work as well after you just pinched my butt while I was passing.” I snapped.

“You’re not being a cute waiter at all!” Dawn complained. “Aren’t you supposed to call us mistress… and ask us what we’d like for dessert, ice cream, or you?”

“What kind of restaurants do you go to!”

“He’s not even wearing those tight pants that show off the crotch. I love waiters in those.” Mom considered.

“Seriously, did you just come to make me suffer?” I asked.

“Mom wanted to celebrate, and Bethany recommended we come here,” London spoke up.

“Is it so bad that I want my son to be here for the celebration?”

“Celebrate?” I asked.

“I’ve finished my Residency,” London announced. “I can finally start my career.”

“R-really?”

I had never really focused much on London’s career. I knew she was working at the hospital, but I had never known how far she had left. It had felt like forever since she had been in school for nearly as long as I had been alive.

“Dumping Dan and not having to deal with his mood swings and whims allowed me to get focused on my career, and I was able to get a fellowship position.”

“I’m not sure what that means, but congratulations.” I declared, reaching out and hugging her.

“It’s because of you.” She whispered in my ear.

“If you want extra appreciation, you can pick me up later,” I whispered back.

“Hehe… you’re still my naughty brother. Hey, do you remember that doctor who saw you after your concussion? Dr. Ruben?”

“Huh? Her? Um… oh… yeah…” I stiffened slightly.

“She was fired. She had been sexually inappropriate with some of her male patients. Someone made a complaint against her and there was an investigation, and then she was quietly let go. Her license is under review now. Well, her firing freed up money and a position, which is actually why they could afford to take me on.”

“Oh… wow…”

She gave me a suspicious look. “You didn’t by chance get touched inappropriately by her, did you? You can tell me.”

“Nope. Not at all.” I put on a fake smile.

“Oh, that’s good then.” She finally let me go, although it was hard to say if she believed me or not.

What were the chances? I had done something. It was part of my taking responsibility. I hadn’t contacted Dr. Ruben with the number she gave me, and I also hadn’t put in a complaint. What I did do was enter the hospital forum and ask if anyone had any bad or questionable experiences with Dr. Ruben. I had worried that, even with me willing, Dr. Ruben would prey on others. I was thinking that if I didn’t at least make sure that it was just a one-time thing, then I wouldn’t be taking responsibility.

Before I knew it, there was a storm of guys sharing creepy stories about her. She had jacked off several cocks. Some included an aggressive prostate exam. She would often do what my sister did, and if they got hard while she was innocently checking, then she’d go further. She had slipped her number to many patients, and even had a few affairs. My small inquiry online had ended up forming a Dr. Ruben molestation support group. So, I guess I was somewhat responsible for all of this.

I didn’t feel bad for Dr. Ruben though. I wasn’t out to destroy anyone’s life. Even my teacher who was still giving me bad grades I hadn’t told on. If this had been a rare occurrence, it would have been one thing. However, the doctor went after dozens of guys. I seemed to recall she had a whole sob story about her boyfriend depriving her of sex. It turned out she was just a horny pervert, so she deserved what happened to her.

One way or another, I ended up having to serve all seven of my family members, and despite this place being full of old perverts, somehow my sisters topped them. I had my butt pinched nearly three times the normal rate just serving those seven. By the time they were finishing up, I was exhausted. The other guys only found it funny. Some of them wanted me to introduce them to my family, but there was no way I was going to let those skanks around them. They told me just how easy they were. Some of them had experienced more sexual partners than I did.

“Oi… where’s the tip?” I asked.

“You’re going to make your family tip you?” Mom once again tried the teary-eyed look on me.

Which girl told my mom that acting pathetic with me tended to work?

“London, if you’re a doctor, aren’t you rich now?”

“Ah… but Mom’s paying.” London held up her hands helplessly like that forgave her responsibility.

“Y-you, guys…”

I could already feel the eyes of all the other waiters in the restaurant. They still thought I’d get a large tip and share it with them. After all, the family wouldn’t short family, right? Well, they didn’t know my family was filled with a bunch of poor cheapskate girls!

“If I don’t get a 25% tip… no sex for anyone for a week.” I leaned in and hissed to all of them.

“Wh-what is brother saying?” Kristy blushed.

“H-he’s fibbing. Brother needs it as bad as us.” Kelsey tried to reassure her.

“Oh, I’ll be getting it from my girlfriends. You girls, on the other hand, can go dry for all I care.” I put on a dark grin.

“Twenty-five percent… but twenty is already a good tip.” London defended.

“Okay… make it thirty.”

“Brother, let’s be reasonable…” Mackenzie started.

“Thirty-five.”

“My son is growing into a proper young man. He’s already viciously after my money. I thought I’d never see the day.” Mom looked genuinely tearful this time, but she did put down a thirty-five percent tip, although it required begging London.

I finally sent my mom and sisters out the door grumbling and poor, but when I showed the tip, the waiters all let out a cheer. After I was done, I was so tired I felt like I needed a break. I didn’t smoke, but I still took smoke breaks, and our boss didn’t complain. As hard as she pretended to be, she pretty much rolled over for anyone with a dick. At least, that’s what the girls like Ann said.

As I was waiting outside, I checked my phone. Still, no answer. I sighed, but when I heard feet crunching I looked up to see Bethany and Dawn. It was rare seeing the pair of them together. They had the greatest age difference, and that meant that they seemed to live different lives completely.

“What is it?”

“Mom’s waiting, but I had something I wanted to ask you too. I wasn’t able to with them all acting like that.” Bethany admitted.

“What’s that?”

“Noah… we want you to be a gamer boy!” Dawn declared.

“Huh?”