The Mask Of The Monster - Chapter 90

(From Ella’s Perspective)

He let go of my hand and backed away, leaving me in the chilly wind and a heavy heart. I thought I would feel good letting the words out, but I was wrong. I did not feel well at all; rather it felt the heaviness in my heart had increased even more as I saw the dark expression on his face.

He walked away and I followed him, not bothering to keep up with him, as I took slow and gentle steps. The wind felt heavy on my skin despite it being weak.

He slowed down after a while, perhaps so I would not fall too behind. But I did not say anything to him. He was the one who needed to apologize for his behavior. Just because I did not care most of the time about his behavior did not mean I never would.

After we reached the cave, I went to the bathroom to take a bath. I undid the handkerchief that was wrapped on my knee. The wound stung as it came into contact with water. Blood was not coming out of the wound anymore; it was a minor wound after all compared to nothing of what I got when I was stabbed.

I wore my baggy shirt and got out of the bathroom. I heard sounds of moving stools coming from the kitchen.

I went to the kitchen and found kebabs served on our plates. “I heated them up a bit,” he said. “Eat before it gets cold again.”

“Did you buy it?” I asked.

He nodded, his face cold and hard as before. I sat down on a tool and started eating. I did not mean to enjoy the food this much at this serious moment, but I ended up eating like a devil, purring noises coming out of my mouth unintentionally.

“They are so…”

I stopped suddenly, remembering the fact that I was still angry with him and if he did not apologize, I was not going to talk to him.

“Alright, I’m sorry,” he said after a long time of silence when I almost believed that he would not apologize.

“Hmph,” I pouted angrily.

“I’m sorry for talking to you like that. You’re right. I need to open up to you as well, just the way you do,” he said.

That meant he was truly going to tell me about his life? I had been waiting for this for so long. I could not describe how happy I was, but I tried to behave decently as I kept my face straight. But hiding my emotions in front of him was always the hardest. I never had this kind of problem in front of anyone before, but he was truly exceptional in every single thing.

“You won’t smile?” he asked and for a moment I was confused if he was seriously giving me a puppy eye or not.

“Ugh! You’re too cute!” I said, giving up to pretend to be angry.

“Cute?”

I decided to ignore that. “Now when are you going to tell me about you? Like everything about you?”

“You’re too impatient,” he muttered, but he was not irritated, which I noticed with relief.

“When will you tell me? Now?” I asked, ignoring his comment.

“Eat first,” he said in a commanding tone.

“Alright!”

I ate as soon as I could, but for some reason, I could feel his glare on me. But he would not watch me eat, would he? Zoe said that I ate like a hungry lioness, so it would surely be ugly. Did he make fun of me in his mind because I eat in an ugly way?

“Do you think I eat like a devil?”

“I don’t need to think that because you do,” he said, shrugging.

“Hey, that’s so straightforward! So you mean I look ugly while eating?”

“You might eat like a devil, but that doesn’t mean you look ugly while eating,” he replied.

“Then how do I look while eating?”

“If I tell you, you might not want to see what will come next.”

“What will come next? Don’t tell me you have evil thoughts in that dangerous head of yours!”

“You got it right.”

He was not even satisfied after I finished my food. He even told me to go wait in the bedroom. If not for him, I would think they had some perverted thoughts in their head. Well, I was not so sure about him as well now that I thought about it.

“Now tell me,” I said the moment he climbed on the bed.

“Come here,” he said.

“What?” I asked, dumbfounded.

“Come and sit on my lap,” he ordered as if I would listen to him. But to my horror, I even thought of doing so right away.

“Why? We can talk sitting side to side.”

“Come here, Ella,” he said.

“No.”

“I’ll bring you watermelon tomorrow.”

“Okay!”

I climbed on his lap. Thankfully, he was not wearing his underwear only, or it would be truly awkward and uncomfortable.

“Do you know why I wanted you to be on my lap?” he asked.

“So I can comfort you while you say something sad, cheer with you when you say that you’ve beat someone’s ass, laugh with you when you say something funny,” I replied.

“But you can do that sitting away from me too.”

“That’s right. I guess you have other reasons.”

“Can you guess?”

“No. But I can think of a reason I want to be on your lap,” I mumbled. “I want to hear the rhythm of your heart when you talk to me. I want to feel your emotions. I don’t just want to hear words, I want to feel what you feel when you utter them. I’m not a shifter. So I can’t even feel your emotions even after the marking. You can feel mine, can’t you? I want to feel yours too. So I guess, your heartbeat might tell me what you feel.”

He did not say anything, but I could feel his gaze on mine. I did not look up at him, fearing what I might find in his eyes. I lay my head against his chest, holding the front of his shirt, circling the button with my index finger. For a moment, I wished he was not wearing the shirt, so I could touch his strong torso, trace my finger on his six-pack… I blushed, thinking how much of a pervert I had become.

“Do you need to take a bit of time to start? It can be uncomfortable to talk about your life with me.”

“It’s not uncomfortable,” he sighed. “I just never talked about my life with anyone before.”

“Take your time. We better talk about something else in the meantime.”

I knew how hard it could be talking about life, especially it was hard for me. I knew he did not have a good life either. How could he have a good life when everyone called him a monster, a killer, a devil?

“You said that I talk in my sleep. What do I talk about?” I asked.

He laughed. “Some things that make me wonder what you’re dreaming.”

“I don’t really remember what I dream. Sometimes I do, but most of the time, I don’t.”

“You told me not to get an optical illusion tattoo.”

“Did I? It’s ridiculous, you know. I’m not talking about my dream. It’s the optical illusion tattoo. It seems like…”

“There is some of the flesh is missing or there is more flesh than necessary,” he finished for me.

“How do you know? You haven’t seen one.”

“You told me this_ in your sleep.”

“Jesus! What more did I talk about?”

“You said you wanted me badly.”

I blushed thinking about it. There was no way I said this in my sleep, did I? It was true that I dreamt about him a lot these days, but the thought of him knowing this was just not settling.

“And you asked me to kiss you.”

“That’s a lie!” I exclaimed, being utterly embarrassed.

“Why would I lie,” he shrugged.

“Did… Did I truly say this?”

“You did.”

“Um… what did_ you… You ignored me then, right? Of course, you’re supposed to ignore me. I said that perhaps because we kissed a few times. It’s… It’s just nerves, how emotions work. Seems like I have a bit of emotion too,” I said awkwardly, trying to act cool.

“You sure that I didn’t do anything?” he asked, his voice suddenly so distant, yet close to my heart in a way.

“Huh?”

“I kissed you, just like you asked.”

“W-What?” I asked, shocked, yet excited as well for some reason. But I was also terrified thinking if I made weird sounds or not, which people usually called moan.

“Yeah, you moaned.”

[Heh, Ella and Leandro talk about literally everything. I don’t think any couple can communicate more than them.. More importantly, they don’t let any misunderstandings get between them for too long. Of course, folk, communication is the key]