The Mask Of The Monster - Chapter 95

(From Ella’s Perspective)

“If you like someone, it’s common to be sexually attracted to that person. I mean, you want to touch, kiss, and do mature stuff, you know. But if it’s just sexual attraction, then it’s a problem, isn’t it? And besides, you didn’t really meet any woman in a very long time. So when you meet me, it’s kinda normal to feel an attraction even though I’m not that attractive. Anyway, you need to be honest with yourself and your feelings and think everything through. If you still feel the same thing for me when we meet again and I feel the same, we will date. What do you think?”

He had a serious look on his face, but that lasted only for a moment. For some strange reason, he started laughing.

“Are you making fun of me?” I asked.

“No, it’s just… Your thoughts really surprise me. Aren’t you just eighteen years old? Then how do you have so much conscience?”

“I’m just talented,” I said, shrugging. “Anyway, what do you think of this?”

“If I say no…”

“I’ll still go.”

“I knew it. Well, I’m not going to say no. You’re right. We both need space. We need to recognize the true feeling,” he said and for some reason, I could not help but wonder if he truly meant it. It was all because of the small smile he had on his face.

“Why do I feel like you’re not being sincere?” I asked, suspiciously.

“Well, even though you won’t believe me, I’m sure about my feelings. But as you need space, I can’t keep you from that.”

“Hey, I’m saying this because of you. I don’t have any confusion about my feelings,” I protested.

“How are you so sure about this? You never had a boyfriend,” he pointed.

“Do you know the thing that you just said would stab a girl’s heart?”

“Of course, and I also know that you’re not one of them.”

“Right you are. Anyway, as I said I’m sure about my feelings.”

“And I asked how.”

“Geez! You’ve become so competitive with words,” I said. “Well, I never had a boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t met boys. I’ve met those short ones with a round head and long ears, then those super tall ones with slender bodies and play basketball and for some reason, girls like them. They literally behave as if those playboys are the most angelic creatures alive just because they give puppy eyes. I also met an old geezer with a lolita complex. That guy was at least forty-five years old and I was only twelve. That old piece of absolute stinky trash hit on me. How dare he is! Anyway, I beat him up with a chair, so it was not much of a problem though half an hour of my life was wasted. Oh, I totally forgot. I didn’t tell you about the lolita complex. It’s, you know, attraction to young girls. In Japan, it’s known as lolicon. Japan is a country on the Asia continent. It will take too much time to describe everything to you, so I’ll keep it short. In Japan, almost everyone looks alike and if you want to find your kid in school, you have to look for their specific beauty marks. But if you put that appearance confusion thing aside, their behavior is really good, too good I mean, not my type though. Their food is good too. Hey, do you want to know about their food?”

“If you want to tell me…”

“Of course, I want to tell you. Well, there is sushi. I don’t eat sushi, but everyone likes it. It’s vinegared rice with a piece of raw fish or something like that on top of it and people eat it with soy sauce or wasabi. They use chopsticks to eat it, but I can’t handle them. Anyway, raw fish is not something I would like to try. I never had sushi for that, I mean the ones with raw fish. I had one with avocado though… And then there is sashimi. It’s quite popular, but I hate it too. Its raw fish cut into pieces for you to enjoy those innocent bodies with soy sauce or wasabi. But I like rice balls, I mean not the plain ones, I like the ones with a savory filling. I don’t know if people are supposed to eat rice balls with meat, but I eat them with grilled chicken filling. There is a chef who I fake praised a lot, so he got really heated and told me that he will make anything I want. So, I told him that I want rice balls with grilled chicken filling and he made me once every week. Then I like grilled chicken skewers. Its chicken cut into small pieces and placed on bamboo skewers and then grilled. Quite cool, huh! I like ramen too, especially when there is extra pork. Curry rice is good too, and I like dumplings as well, though I’m not sure if dumpling is Japanese,” I said. “Anyway, where was I in the first place? Right- how do I know that my feelings are real? Well, it’s because I met a lot of boys, but no one ever piqued my interest like you. That’s why there is no way this is just because we live together. But if we live apart for some days, this feeling would become even clearer and then we can start dating, if our feelings turn out to be mutual.”

“Alright.”

“Just like that? Say something more.”

“What am I supposed to say?”

“How can I know that? Wait a moment- is there someone new that you like?”

“What are you talking about? Have you lost your mind? Why would I like someone else?” The way he said it, I was left with no confusion that he would never like any other girl. He talked as if he even hated the question and his facial expression was even funnier.

“Well, you know…”

His hand shot out in front of my face as if he was going to touch the side of my neck, but he took his hand back quickly.

“Don’t say these things. No matter what happens, I won’t like anyone else. I don’t want to let you like anyone else either,” he said. “But if you do… if you find someone else you like and want to leave me, just leave without a word.”

“Leandro…”

“I don’t want to hear things like that from your mouth.”

“You know it won’t happen. I told you my preferences are too high,” I said. And besides, I did not think I would ever be able to like anyone else. I did not want to like anyone else either. Why would I when I found someone considerate, caring as well as handsome?

“Tell me the same thing when we meet again,” he said. “I will repeat everything again as well.”

“If your feelings don’t change,” I added.

“I would rather say if your feelings don’t change. Mine ones are already sealed inside me,” he said with a smirk.

I finished the rest of my meal and went to sleep. At night, I could not help but feel like my emotions would overflow. The feelings would try to sink me deeper. It was a very uneasy feeling, like a pain in the chest.

It was the main reason I could not sleep at night. I was more worried about Leandro’s feelings for me than my feelings for him. I was already sure of my attraction towards him and I was also aware that it was not just a simple liking, rather it was something stronger than that, yet not enough to be called ‘love’. Or perhaps it was love, but I was not sure of it myself.

But did he also feel the same way about me? He said he liked me and I also knew he was not someone to lie or play with me, yet I could not help but feel restless.

First of all, he was too handsome, powerful, and wealthy while I was average looking, not powerful but enthusiastic, and broke as hell. Why would he like someone like me? It was not like I underestimated myself, but I could not help but feel a bit curious about it.

I wondered if I should ask him about it, but then thought that it would be a horrible question after all. Mostly because when I used to read manga and the female leads would ask questions like that, I would get irritated and even curse them for thinking so low of themselves. Now I understood their situation. The male leads were freaking handsome and Leandro was more than handsome.

Now I kind of felt like it was normal to feel that way in front of a shining handsome piece of heavenly art.

“Are you planning on not sleeping at all?”

“Sorry.”

[Let’s see if the feelings are real though we kinda know the answer….]