The Mask Of The Monster - Chapter 96

(From Ella’s Perspective)

Leandro wanted to be the one to take me to Dad’s place. He said he knew the route. But what if he got into trouble because of me? What if someone recognized him somehow? He was going to wear a hooded cloak, but even though I could not bring myself to let him come with me.

“I told you I won’t be recognized,” he said. “If anyone manages to recognize me, then…”

“… the person would be able to trace a dirt on dung,” I finished for him though I was sure he would not say it like that.

“It won’t be a problem…”

“I told you I’ll manage.”

“You have no sense of direction,” he pointed out.

“What are you there for then?”

“You mean I’m coming with you then?”

“No,” I said. “You’re going to draw me the routes in a readable way of course so I can reach Dad’s place without any problem.”

“I am taking you there,” he said.

“No, you’re not…”

“Ella,” he said as he inched closer. “I said I want to take you, then it’s decided.”

“Leandro…”

“Am I not taking you?”

“Y-Yes,” I mumbled.

I did not know why I could not refuse. Perhaps it was because of how he was behaving. Suddenly the dark aura that surrounded him was slightly scary and I could not help but say yes.

Truth be told, I did not want to leave him. I wanted to stay by his side and feel his warmth. He was waiting for me, all the time, yet I could not bring myself to say yes even though I wanted to.

‘It’s all because of Mom and Dad. They made me fear saying yes easily!’

It was clear on his face that he did not want me to leave as well. I wanted to tell him the same thing- ‘I don’t want to leave you. I want you to hold me.’ But still, there was no other way. After all, he had to leave as well and I was sure that he would suggest that I should go to Dad’s place anyway.

I had taken a little bag with me in which there were some of Leandro’s shirts and my clothes. I wanted to take one of his shirts with me so at least, I would be able to feel him even though he would not be present. But he insisted on giving five of them and when I said that I did not need that many, he said that he had too many of them anyway.

Leandro was not like this when we first met. He was full of himself and was very arrogant. Though he still was very proud of himself, he did not behave arrogantly with me. Sometimes, even I was surprised to see how sweet he could be.

“Whenever you want to see me, send me a letter,” he said. “Though I might be busy and it might take a while to give you a reply, I still will. But you can’t absolutely come to meet me there.”

It was not like I thought of going to meet him there. If I wanted, I would rather send him a letter and tell him my response, though I kind of knew what I would say. But now that he said it, I was kind of curious why I should not go there.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Just don’t.”

“Like hell I will understand!”

“There are a lot of men there,” he said. “If you go there, they will look at you.”

“They have eyes…”

“Just don’t go there. Or there will be bloodshed. I don’t want to do so right away, though it would not be much of a problem.”

“What… what do you mean? Bloodshed? You will kill someone? Who? Why? What did they do?”

“If they look at you all weird, I will have no choice but to end the span of their lives,” he said nonchalantly.

As he said it, even his face was very serious. It was disturbing. I could not even bring myself to argue with him anymore.

We were on our way out of the forest. Both of us were wearing hooded cloaks. Mainly, he needed to wear it, but I wore one as well because I was curious.

He was holding my hand pretty tightly. I did not know why, but his touch became more and more comfortable and it did not feel strange anymore. I wished that he truly liked me from the bottom of his heart. If I had not met him, perhaps I would have never known how much I craved a bit of care and attention.

I wished I could hold his hand like this forever. The warmth- I always wanted to feel it. Even if we were going to be away, he had his mark on me- the bite mark on my shoulder that would not fade away until one of us died.

“Do you know where it is?” I asked. “I mean, are you sure?”

“Of course. Don’t worry,” he said without looking at me. “Be careful, there is a stone…”

If he had not told me, I would surely trip over the stone. That was the type of luck I had. No matter how much I tried, all kinds of obstacles were always in my way and I would get away only by sheer luck most of the time.

“I wonder what kind of person Dad is,” I mumbled.

“I think he is like you.”

“Like me?”

“Hmm,” he nodded. “He seems like the type to talk more than necessary and also in a strange manner.”

“Are you mocking these types of people?”

“I would if I did not like you. But your characteristics make you even more interesting, so I don’t really mind your nature. But I hate other people with the same nature since their voices are disgusting and sore for my ears.”

“So, if he is like me, you think we will get along? I mean, if I am to live with him, we should get along, right?”

“You clearly drew a line between you and your dad when you told him that you won’t forgive him.”

“I won’t. Why would I? I don’t care if he did not know that he had a daughter or if he knew that he had, he would take care of me. No matter what happened between them, I was the one who needed to suffer. For god’s sake, I almost got killed as well,” I said. “I really can’t forgive me. I am surprised he even asked for forgiveness.”

“If I were you, I would have said that same thing,” he said. I was glad that at least he was supporting me. Perhaps I came out very harsh, but I could not just let go of what happened.

Not even a single time, I was okay. Being with my family was not okay for my mind. Every time they said something hurtful, no matter how much I tried, I could not just not be affected by it.

I wanted to throw everything out a lot of times, I wanted to yell and scream, yet I did not. I kept it all within me all the time.

“Are you okay?”

“Hm?”

“You’re clenching my hand tightly,” he said, pointing towards our entwined hands.

“Ah, I am sorry,” I said as I quickly tried to let go, but he did not. “What…”

“Don’t. At least for now, hold onto me.”

I did not say anything and loosened my grip and let him hold my hand. His touch was like a healing medicine for my mind.

“You want me to carry you?” he asked.

“No, I am fine. Don’t worry,” I said.

“You’re talking less than usual and moreover, your complexion is pale.”

“I was born pale.”

“No, it’s paler than usual,” he said. “If you have any problem, you can talk to me.”

“I know… I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. I mean, right now, I don’t have much of a problem. Yet, I just can’t be happy. It’s like something is pulling me back,” I sighed. “I really don’t understand what the hell is going on with me. Sometimes, it’s really hard to breathe. And even if I want to, I can’t even talk about it. I mean, I don’t even know what to say. I just… I don’t know…”

“It’s alright. I understand,” he said and squeezed my hand. “You don’t have to force yourself to do anything or say anything to me. I am alright even if you don’t want to talk about something right away. Though I wish that you will share everything with me, it’s alright even if you take your time. Some things are not easy to talk about, I know. And sometimes, they make sense in your head, but when you say them, it’s just absolute chaos. So, take your time.”

He was too good to me. Sometimes I wondered if I deserved it. I had never known that I would find someone so considerate and affectionate while handsomeness was a bonus. Since my preferences were very high and mighty, I never found someone I liked. When I met him, I was instantly bewitched by his looks. Though he had a questionable personality, he slowly changed. And whenever I thought about the fact that he changed because of me, my heart would feel tight. It was uncomfortable, but I liked it.

If he truly liked me, I wished that it would be only me to receive his affection. I did not know before that I was this greedy.. And now that I knew it, I could not help but embrace this side of me and crave more and more of what I got.