The Mask Of The Monster - Chapter 98

(From Leandro’s Perspective)

I did not want to let her go. But I had to. Even if she had not said that she would go to her Dad’s place, I would have still sent her there. I needed to go some places and there was no way I could take her with me. It was dangerous if she was around too many Orgades and moreover, most of them were men.

“That’s the one,” I said, pointing towards a small house in front of us.

“It’s bigger than the cave…”

“Everything is bigger than the cave,” I said. “But it’s more comfortable there.”

“Well, that’s true,” she mumbled. “So…”

“Let’s go in.”

“Are you sure you won’t get into a fight with Dad?”

“I won’t,” I said, though I was not sure if that would be the case. Every time I looked at Alessandro, I was reminded of the fact that because of him, my little El had to suffer. She was not at fault at all.

She was merely born because of an accident and all this time, she had to bear the consequences as if it was her fault. It was not because we were against each other when it came to power, but because of Ella, I could not bring myself to tolerate him.

She knocked on the door. I could hear footsteps and within a moment, the door was opened.

“You’re here! And you…,” Alessandro muttered, looking sideways at me. Perhaps he did not think I would accompany her.

“Leandro has come to bring me here since I don’t know the ways much,” she said. “Can we come in?”

“Ah, yes,” he said and moved to give us space. He was eyeing our entwined hands sharply. If Ella knew, perhaps she would have let go. But her mind seemed to be somewhere else.

She had been absent-minded for a while now. It looked like she was contradicting herself in her mind or thinking about something intently. I wished she would share what was on her mind with me. But it did not seem like her mind was in the right state so she would be able to talk.

“I prepared a room for you,” Alessandro said, coming up from behind. “It’s that second room on the second floor. This place is quite crumpled, but hope you will be comfortable.”

It was clear that he cleaned this place up just recently. I was sure that all this while, it was not like this. I could not help but notice similarities with Ella. She was like that as well, not caring about anything, but being lazy. Of course, it was one of the things I liked about her. If she was with me, I did not mind her being lazy since I would always take care of other things.

But I was not going to be with her now. I had a clear idea of what this place would look like in a few days if someone else did not clean it up.

“Then we will place my things in my room,” Ella said.

“He will go with you?” her dad asked.

“What’s with that? We have been living together for more than a month now,” she rolled her eyes.

To her, it might seem very normal for a grown man and a woman to live together, but in reality, it was not. It was not like I ever planned on living with a woman. I liked sex quite like any other man, but I always chose the experienced ones and I never got attached to them. I did it only because I wanted to, not because I felt anything towards those women. And women always tried to flirt with me just to get laid. I gave them part of what they wanted, but they never could get my affection. But when Ella came to me with her odd request, it was me who wanted her attention. And now, it seemed natural for her and me to live together as well.

“He is a grown-up man,” he said.

“Please do not worry,” Ella said. “I know what I am doing.”

She was being oddly formal and was behaving herself. It was clear that she was not in her right mind and something had been troubling her. I asked her, but it did not seem like she could answer right away. So, I did not ask her again.

Despite her father’s concerns, she took me to her new room. The room was not too small. It was enough for a person. And everything was organized pretty well, more than the rest of the house.

The bedsheet was light blue and there were five cotton cat figures on the bed. A table stood at one side and there were a lot of books and at a glance, I could see that most of them were about forbidden magic and stuff like that. There were also ink, a light blue quill, and some notebooks.

“Do you like light blue?” I asked and she nodded. “I thought your favorite color is black.”

“Hm, my favorite color is indeed black. But I like light blue things, like shirts and dresses…  I don’t know why, but I like it quite a lot,” she said. “But how did he know?”

“I thought you told him.”

“No, I never told him that… I mean, we only talked that one time. Perhaps he guessed.”

‘Or perhaps he likes this color as well and assumed that she would like it as well. Seems like they have more things common than I anticipated.’

“It seems like you like it,” I said.

“It’s good…- better than the one I had back at home,” she muttered. She flopped on the bed and lay on her back, looking at the ceiling. “You know… I am gonna miss you. In this short time, I think I got too attached to you. It’s dangerous, this kind of feeling. It hurts my chest, yet I can’t help but crave more. Am I being too weird? Too paranoid?”

“… No,” I said. “You’re not.”

‘I think I am crazier when it comes to you… I just can’t seem to be able to breathe when I think about you leaving me.’

“Is that so?” she mumbled. “Though it’s hard, I think it is a good decision. I just… want to relax for a while. This feeling- it tightens my chest. I feel like I can’t breathe, I can’t relax and I am thinking about things that I am not supposed to. I don’t know about you, but just for a while, I want to sort my thoughts out. It’s unfair for you if I keep you waiting. I don’t want you to wait for me for eternity just because I can’t give you an answer because of my frightened self. I am sorry, I really am.”

“Don’t be. I understand. And you’re doing really well for someone who has been through a lot.”

“But I really am being too much. It’s not like you haven’t been through anything. Your life was hard as well.”

“Yes, but you are younger than me, yet you are facing all these kinds of things. In your own family, you were like a stranger. I know what it feels like to be unwanted,” I said. “Then you almost died and then made sure that your mother’s boyfriend can’t do anything like that to you again. Even after coming here, you survived. I can’t deny the fact that you managed to convince someone like me. Don’t say that you’re being too much. You are really something, so don’t underestimate yourself.”

She sighed. “Remember when you said why I don’t cry? The answer is I can’t. Sometimes I want to, but tears don’t come. I think something is wrong with me.”

I bent in front of her and placed my head against her stomach. She touched my hair and ran her fingers gently.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” I said. “It’s alright to be different. And who cares if you can’t cry? It doesn’t matter as long as it doesn’t hurt yourself. I suggest you to do anything you want to as long as you’re not in danger.”

“Yeah… The next time I see you, I swear I will give you my answer,” she said.

“Remember you promised… I will wait for your answer,” I said. “So, until then, don’t fall for anyone, or even look much at others. Think about me and our time together. I want you to remember every single thing we have done, every single word we shared. I want you to think about everything.”

“I will… But your feelings should not change either,” she said. “And if you think you don’t actually like me that way…”

“I won’t think that way.”

“… If you do, then please tell me as well. Don’t give me false hopes. I hate lies.”

[They are obviously madly in love with each other, but because of Ella’s background, she is afraid. Let’s hope she gets past her fears soon….]