The Melancholy Of A Clown - Chapter 2

“Clown, follow me.”

 

What kind of situation would it be for you to drag me by the arm, telling me to follow you? This was the reality. If you asked me to come, I’ll come. If you asked me to leave, I’ll go. My life has always been like a ferry on the rapids with no options.

 

Because of the princess, I almost believed that I was living a sweet dream.

 

“Aya, here we go. Here I go. Leave this and tell me.”

 

Duke Ansley made strides forward without hesitation.

 

“Your Majesty needs you.”

 

“Ouch. Ouch.”

 

“Don’t be stingy. I’m not holding on too tight.”

 

Far from freeing my arms, I was only scolded and looked down upon, so I had to ask.

 

“What is going on?”

 

Duke Ansley led me to the king’s bedroom.

 

“His Majesty is very upset. Please comfort him. Take the bottle while he’s in.”

 

He pushed me into a dark room, and as soon as I entered, I could see that it was not uncommon for the smell of wine to hit me. Unfortunately, this is also one of my duties. When His Majesty was in a bad mood, I need to become a human shield and take all of the anger.

 

A hoarse voice was heard from the corner of the room.

 

“Didn’t I tell you to go away?”

 

Sitting on the bed, I saw a black figure with his hair down. It took some courage to reveal his identity.

 

“Your Majesty, I’m Clown.”

 

His Majesty the King snorted slowly.

 

“Go to the banquet. It’s not that much of a hassle, so I’m letting you go now.”

 

“No. I am only here to entertain Your Majesty.”

 

His Majesty’s chilling blue eyes glimmered in the moonlight. I could clearly see where the princess’ intense gaze came from.

 

“Come closer.”

 

I approached cautiously, avoiding the shards of glass all over the floor. I could only imagine what a riot there must have been a few minutes ago.

 

His Majesty exuded an atmosphere of calm and cruelty. His gilded robes were half loose and his chestnut hair was tangled randomly. It was the image of a person who completely rejected the outside world and sank deeply into the darkness within.

 

“Did you say you came here to entertain me?”

 

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

 

“What can you do for me?”

 

“Anything you want.”

 

That’s what I said, but I was so nervous that he’d ask me to jump out of the window.

 

Soon after, his order fell.

 

“Try some stunts.”

 

It was absurd, but for the first time, I was relieved because I was able to do enough within my abilities.

 

“I… I left the ball behind, but even this…”

 

As I said so, I secretly tried to take the bottle near His Majesty’s feet. Wasn’t it pretty natural? I thought it was natural.

 

As if such a shallow trick didn’t work, His Majesty took out three daggers engraved with the royal coat of arms from the leather sheath hanging by the bedside and tossed them.

 

“This will be enough.”

 

It was a pretty emotional throw, and I received a fast-flying blade with my bare hands and got a big cut. In other words, the lifeline that used to put palmists in trouble because it was already short was further cut in half.

 

“Ah…”

 

My mind was dizzy from the uncontrollable gushing of blood, but His Majesty asked as if it was ridiculous to see the blood rising out of control.

 

“Why don’t you like it?”

 

“…No. I’ll do it now. Please take a look.”

 

What else could I have done? I have no choice but to gather all my showmanship, smile, and throw a dagger into the air.

 

Juggling with three balls was very easy. It was also easy to do with a bottle. However, it can be said that it was a little difficult for me to play with three daggers with my blood-covered hands.

 

That being said, it was a nimble-looking object, and it constantly slid down my hand because of the blood, and it felt heavy. So, every time I threw it and caught it, the open wound with blood oozing out of it felt sour. It was driving me crazy. Unsurprisingly, I made the mistake of missing the dagger after not holding out for a while.

 

An indifferent command was issued.

 

“Continue.”

 

The dagger’s handle was all red with blood droplets splashing on the blade. I felt the freshly cut wounds gradually widening. Still, the show had to go on.

 

Sweat trickled down my back and forehead. In essence, juggling is a technique in which only hands move without moving as if they were fixed. You don’t have to move at all if you throw and receive it in a constant orbit. The only time you step out is when you show the finesse it deserves. Throwing a ball between your legs, stepping to the music…

 

However, I was distracted by receiving unstable daggers and was stepping back on the ground. Meanwhile, a shard of glass pierced the rag shoe and buried it deep into my heel.

 

“Ugh!”

 

I fell and touched the ground where the glass formed a reef. The missing daggers fell out and scratched my limbs.

 

“Continue.”

 

Truly, His Majesty, who sat without shedding any blood or tears… I tried to think about it, but I ended up watching him. His Majesty’s eyes filled with excellence. A deep bloody smell emanates from it, and it flows from the queen’s headless body.

 

This.

 

His Majesty really loved her.

 

Do not worry. I am a court clown. Even if my clothes are torn and my makeup is taken off, I never will rid of my smile. If my heel hurts, I just need to lift my heel. If my hands are slippery because of the blood, I just have to clench my fists even tighter.

 

It was no longer juggling, but a tight-knit competition for life.

 

Finally, His Majesty gave the order to retreat. I left the king’s bedroom trembling like a puppy kicked by a neighborhood kid. Duke Ansley’s eyes widened when he saw the state that I was in. My makeup was melted, my hands and clothes were bloody, and my legs were limp.

 

“No, what… Did His Majesty do this? Oh my god. I didn’t know he’d do this…”

 

“He seems to be feeling a lot better. Now go in.”

 

Duke Ansley couldn’t even say he was sorry, he just struggled. After all, it is impossible to apologize to a person with a low status due to the hierarchy of the aristocrats.

 

“Are you in a lot of pain?”

 

“No.”

 

“Where are you hurt?”

 

“My hands were slightly cut. It doesn’t matter.”

 

“The legs…”

 

“It’s nothing. Do not worry.”

 

He showed goodwill and smiled. The pride of nobles is sometimes pitiful for me to see.

 

“Are you really okay?”

 

“Yes.”

 

What if I’m not okay? Would you take care of me?

 

“…Okay. Go now. Get a good rest tonight.”

 

Oh, thank you for your kind words. I sense a lie in there somewhere.

 

No, no. This isn’t it. I need to fix the habit of swearing at anyone.

 

My lowly status serves as a yardstick for judging the character of others. The royal palace does not readily see people who show kindness to a weak person who cannot repay them with money or honour without any reward. In that regard, Ansley is doing very well.

 

I left quickly, rubbing off the blood with the handkerchief in my pocket, before His Majesty suddenly asks you to change your mind.

 

When the blood in the hands and feet disappeared, the blood on the sleeves and pants seemed to be part of my outfit. Maybe that’s why I mix red with my clown clothes.

 

While walking for a long time, couldn’t you see a child sitting and playing across the hallway? It was a four-year-old girl wearing black mourning clothes with thick black hair that came down to her waist. She was Catherine Blyde’s only blood, the second daughter of the Channing family, Princess Lux.

 

Little children love me very much. Sometimes, I go out of the castle and put on a show for the kids. Perhaps I am more popular than His Majesty.

 

I want to tell the children. Be a good person before you become a good adult. To do that, take the wonder, what you felt while watching a pigeon flying out my hat, until you die.

 

The hand wrapped around the handkerchief was placed on the baby princess’s shoulder. When she turned her head, my fingers poked her soft cheek.

 

The princess laughed loudly. The cry of laughter that can only be heard from babies. Isn’t it so precious?

 

“My clown!”

 

“You have been fooled again. Did I not say that when someone puts a hand on your shoulder, you should say, ‘Hey! You j*rk!’”

 

“No, I’m not going to do it.”

 

I was trying to teach her a small self-defence technique so that she could survive in this harsh royal palace, but in the eyes of the royal daughter, I guess I was just a mischievous boy who taught her bad words.

 

“What were you doing?”

 

“Drawing a picture.”

 

“What did you draw?”

 

The princess pointed to the paper on the floor and deciphered the crooked chunks drawn with charcoal.

 

“This is a butterfly, this is a flower, this is mother, this is Ophelia, this is me.”

 

“You drew them well. It’s really pretty.”

 

The princess smiled graciously like a god looking down on her creation, and then she stretched out her arms for a hug.

 

“No. If I hug you, I’ll be sentenced to death.”

 

“No.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“No.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“No!”

 

“That’s right.”

 

“Right!”

 

“Yes, that’s right.”

 

The princess is a fool.

 

The princess tilted her head and burst into laughter again. I wasn’t joking in particular, but I guess she had fun. Everyone in the world would have to live with such optimism.

 

“Why are you wearing black?”

 

“Ophelia.”

 

“Did Ophelia dress you up?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Even a tiger would come if I spoke, and Lady Ophelia walked out of the room. Her sad face was drenched in deep sorrow, which could not take off her girlish shirt. The swelling around her eyes made it seem like she had been weeping ever since her queen died.

 

“Princess, it’s time for you to go to bed. Come on in.”

 

She looked at me and hardened her face.

 

“Why are you here…?”

 

It was such a disgusting look that I couldn’t stand it. She knew that I had made the nobles laugh with crude jokes about the dead queen all evening.

 

“I… I was playing with the princess.”

 

“Now it’s done. Go ahead.”

 

A voice so cold that it freezes to the bone. In this case, it becomes very unfair and brutal. Because those jokes are just a way of living as a clown, and contain no personal feelings.

 

However, it remains to be understood a hundred times. The way I live is mean and vulgar, no matter who sees it. It’s the clowns who can’t be heroes even if they die or wake up.

 

I, who had not yet had a solid professional spirit enough to accept that fate, called Ophelia, who entered the room with the baby princess in her arms.

 

“Lady Ophelia.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m sorry about the queen.”

 

Ophelia stared at me quietly, lowered her voice, and answered.

 

“Thank you.”

 

A dangerous remark that revealed a political opinion when it came out of someone’s mouth. Ordinary consolation when it comes out of the mouth of a clown that no one cares about, whether they have such a view or not. The world is so much fun.

 

Unable to leave, I hid in the doorway and watched them enter the room. Ophelia packed all her clothes in her bag, and the Princess sat on her bed, wiggling her fingers and telling her something. How happy would every day be with such a cute and pretty daughter? Even if it’s not a daughter, a younger sister.

 

As I was drenched in thoughts, a voice came from behind me.

 

“You clown. If you sneak around like that, it’s not good for other people to see.”

 

It was Princess Verona, who was heading to her bedroom with books in her arms. Even on days when the castle is bustling with banquets, the temperament of not skipping night study is the same as it was before and now.

 

“Ah, Princess! It wasn’t that I was sneaking around…”

 

After the princess put her finger to her lips, instead of telling me to be quiet, she came over to my side.

 

“Do you know what they’re doing?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“They are preparing to leave. A proposal was made to annul the marriage between father and Katherine at the meeting. The legal proceedings should have ended today. That child is no longer a princess, but a maiden.”

 

“Ah…”

***

[T/N: Just what was Katherine’s crime?]