The Optimistic Heroes - Chapter 2 Part 2
Chapter 2 Swally and the AntsPart 2, 1000 – 2000 Words
Big G: “How’s it going.”
Swally: “Good.”
“Want a drink?” Big G asked as he rolled his eyes.
Swally: “Sure.”
Big G passed him the bottle. He was hoping to see what alcohol dripping out of this person’s nose would look like.
Who knew that this person could drink! Glug-glug, with one swig half the bottle was gone, without a drop being spilt.
Big G stared blankly, “Have you drank like this before?”
Swally: “A few times.”
With sudden laughter, Big G explained: “I wanted to see if I could drink hanging upside down.”
If a person had tried something like this before, there probably wasn’t much that he hadn’t tried.
Big G couldn’t help but laugh, “What else have you tried before?”
Swally: “I have pretty much tried anything that you can think of.”
“Is there anything in the world that is more uncomfortable than drinking upside down?” Big G replied laughing.
Swally: “A few things.”
Big G: “Like what? What is the most painful?”
Swally: “Nailed shut in a coffin and buried in the ground was the worst.”
“You tried that too?” Big G was staring at him with his eyes wide open.
Swally: “Well not that many times, just twice.”
Big G suddenly somersaulted down through the air, and stared at him.
Swally had a straight face.
After a long while, Big G finally sighed, “If you are not the king of boasting then you are certainly a strange kind of freak.”
“He is a freak.” Dash said all of a sudden.
Swally just laughed, “The feeling is mutual.”
Big G clasped his hands laughing loudly, “Not bad, not bad, we are all freaks, otherwise we all wouldn’t be here.”
“The first time I came here I wanted to rob the place, what about you?” Big G asked right away.
Swally: “I am not interested in becoming a robber, because, I already am.”
Big G looked him up and down real good. He couldn’t help but smile and said, “A thief like you, is certain to be a stupid thief.”
Swally: “Not stupid, I have just had some bad luck.”
Big G: “Bad luck?”
“If it wasn’t for rotten luck, how could I have ended up charging in here?” Swally sighed.
Big G: “True, what exactly are you doing here?”
Swally: “I am not doing anything, I just need a place to hide.”
Big G: “Why are you hiding?”
Swally: “Because people want to nail me inside a coffin and bury me.”
Big G: “Who is it this time?”
Swally: “The Ants.”
Big G’s mouth dropped open, his jaw almost fell off, “You… … What did you say?”
Swally: “I said The Ants.”
Big G: “Ants?”
He suddenly bent over with laughter, “If you are afraid of ants, you sure are courageous,” he managed to say despite having troubles breathing.
Sighing, Swally just shook his head, “Looks like you don’t get out much, you don’t even know who The Ants are.”
Big G: “When I was three I knew what ants were.”
Swally: “What?”
Big G: “Ants are very very small little insects that crawl around on the ground. There are a bunch on Dash’s bed, I can catch a few and show you what they are.”
Swally: “I am not talking about this kind of ants, they are people.”
Big G stared blankly, “People, ants are people?”
Swally: “It is four people, the Ant King and his little entourage of ants.”
Big G: “Oh?”
Swally: “These four people, one is called the Golden Ant, one is the called the Silver Ant, and there is the Red Ant, and the last one is called the White Ant.”
Big G couldn’t help but laugh, “Since there is a red and white ant, shouldn’t there be a black ant as well?”
Swally: “There was one actually, but he is already dead.”
Big G blinked, “Since they are clearly people, why are they called The Ants?”
Swally: “Lots of people have nicknames.”
Big G: “If you are going to have a nickname, you should at least pick something awe-inspiring, like ‘The Winged Tiger,’ or ‘Golden Lion,’ you can have any nickname you want. Why would you want to be called an ant?”
Swally: “Because they are all really small, they are all midgets.”
The more Big G listened the more outrageous it sounded. He couldn’t stop laughing, “So what is so scary about midgets?”
Swally: “These midgets are not only scary, they are extremely dangerous. In fact, they are probably some of the most dangerous people in the world.”
Big G: “Oh? What makes them so dangerous?”
Swally: “They each possess a very special kind of kung Fu, even the top master from the Emei sect was killed by them.”
Big G: “Since they are so terrifying, why did you provoke them?”
Swally was sighing… “Because I ran into some trouble with money, such rotten luck, in two weeks I lost more than fifteen rounds, I even had to sell the soles of my boots to pay back my gambling debts…”
“What?” Big G shouted. “You sold your soles to pay back gambling debt?”
Swally: “Correct.”
Big G: “How much did you owe?”
Swally: “About seven to eight thousand.”
Big G: “How much did you sell your soles for?”
Swally: “I sold my two soles for a total of thirteen hundred silver taels.”
The more he talked the more absurd it sounded. Big G thought he might as well keep on listening to see what other nonsense would come out of his mouth. He was trying very hard not to laugh, “Doesn’t that mean you still owed six thousand seven hundred silver taels?”
Swally: “And that’s exactly the reason why I needed to think of something else.”
Big G: “Since you are a thief why wouldn’t you steal it?”
Swally: “You think just because I am a thief I would steal from anybody?”
Big G: “So you are picky?”
Swally: “I am extremely picky, I only steal from corrupt officials, dirty businessmen, bandits, and it has to be the right person and the right place.”
