The Participants - Chapter 6 – Elza – Iteration 1

I’m not the only one. I’m not the only one. I’m not the only one. The mantra ran through Elza’s mind on a constant loop. She stared at Hess, unable to order her chaotic thoughts. For seven hundred years, she had observed creation under the assumption that she was the only agent of the Creator. Suddenly, she wasn’t alone. It made her a hell of a lot less important.

Another thought came to her. How many are there? Just the two of us? Ten? A hundred? There was no way to answer that question. Elza didn’t understand why this knowledge had been withheld from her. At the moment of creation, Elza knew her purpose, understood the memories implanted in her mind were fabrications, and recalled the knowledge that one day the sky would open so she could leave existence to make her report. There had been no indication that other Observers walked the Earth.

“Look at her. She likes the idea of having a man.”

The whispers of the women bothered her. “I don’t care for Hess,” she said. The women chuckled and went about their gossip. Elza scowled at their levity. Hess had done this to them, exchanged their terror for hope. He should not have interfered. His actions were inexcusable. The Creator was greater than all of creation. How could an Observer ever justify placing some tiny bit of creation above the Creator?

Elza felt a fire grow in her chest. She had endured beatings and humiliations in service to the Creator, while this man set himself up to live in comfort and indiscriminately altered events to his fancy. He didn’t even switch tribes to avoid revealing his unnatural lifespan. Hess leveraged his nature into personal power.

She opened her mouth to tell the women that Hess had lied to them, then hesitated. Harsh words would not return them to a state of ignorance. One interference would not cancel out another – they were already contaminated. Anything she said would only inflict distress upon the women for no cause.

They do not deserve my anger. He does. Elza folded her arms and glared at Hess, willing him to come speak with her again. She intended to make him regret his interference. That he tainted his own observations was bad, but compromising her work was unforgivable. Elza was about to have the worst experience of her life and it would be useless to the Creator because this man had contaminated the entire tribe.

Noon came and went. The brutes, their women, and Hess ate smoked meat, figs, and pine nuts. The captive women had nothing to eat but dandelions they picked from the same ground that they relieved themselves on. Elza ignored the hunger pangs. Her body was prone to fatigue, but she could ignore that infirmity when necessary. What she could not ignore was the fact that these men were going to brutalize and violate her in front of that man. Elza ground her teeth until her jaw sent stabs of pain all the way to her temple. Because he was an Observer for the Creator, she couldn’t even bring herself to request he not watch.

Glaring at the impassive Observer did no good. Elza finally plopped her rear to the ground. The good spirit of the other women had departed. They could fool themselves for only so long. That their captors denied them food and water and shade proved a lack of regard. These women were accustomed to hardship, but their resilience did not include trusting the brutes who had murdered their men and their children. Elza wasn’t sure just when the change of mood had happened. She had been too busy trying to bring Hess back.

“You are a very odd woman, Elza.”

She spun at his voice. He had waited until her attention was elsewhere to sneak up on her. “You are participating,” she said.

Hess raised one brow on his handsome face. Why is one such as him given an attractive form and made a man while I must be ugly and endure the touch of brutes? Her best glare brought only an amused smile in response.

“I have nothing to do with what the men of this tribe do. You can blame me if it makes you feel better, but I am not involved.”

“You are participating.” She emphasized the word.

Hess narrowed his eyes. “What are you saying?”

“The Creator did not send you here to bed beautiful women and tease Kallig.”

The man sucked in one cheek as he pondered her words, but gave no other clues to his mental state. Finally, he spoke softly. “How many of us are there?”

“It doesn’t matter. You are violating the Divine Command. This entire tribe is contaminated because of you. My observations are ruined.” She spoke firmly, but kept her volume low to avoid a spectacle.

Hess sucked in his cheek again. “We participate just by existing. You can claim that I participate more than you think right, but you can’t say I am wrong to do it. The Creator made us in this form. He obviously intended us to interact with people to make our observations.”

She climbed to her feet. “These people fear you. That is manipulating, not observing. You said this world is wrong. That is judging, not observing. You comforted these women. That is interfering, not observing. She didn’t place you in this world for your own enjoyment.”

“She?” Hess flashed a smug grin. “You think the Creator is a woman?”

“Do you really think a man would create a world?”

Hess gestured around them. “Does this look like a world created for the benefit of women? Clearly the Creator must be a man.”

This conversation is ridiculous. The Creator doesn’t have flesh. Gender doesn’t apply to Her. Then Elza saw the conviction in his eyes and stiffened her resolve. “What do men make? Nothing. On the other hand, women make everything people need. Clothes. Tents. Rope. Pottery. Children.” Her legs wobbled beneath her.

“I have yet to observe a woman who could make a child by herself.” Hess looped his arm through hers just before she dropped to the ground from exhaustion. “We can argue some more after you eat.” He pulled her arm over his shoulder.

“Let go of me,” she hissed.

Hess hesitated. “I don’t know what good you think you’re doing here, but I know what will happen to these women. You want no part in it.”

“I don’t interfere in events like you,” Elza said.

“Don’t make this about your pride. The Creator doesn’t require this of you.”

“Let me go.”

“You said that I contaminated this entire tribe. If you believe that, then there is no reason for you to observe anything further here.”

“Let me go.”

Hess released her. “If you think enduring pain proves something, then go ahead and flatter your pride. All I see is stupidity.”

Elza knelt to relieve her shaky legs. “As for me, I see a coward.” The pity in his eyes burned her. “Get away from me. You are interfering with my observations.”

Hess returned to his rock on the other side of the camp. She intended to glare at him for the remainder of the daylight, but hunger and lack of sleep conspired against her. Her eyes drifted closed.