The Regressed Maid Becomes A Prima Donna - Chapter 3
***
I visited the temple the following week. I couldn’t figure out why.
It could have been a simple impulse, or it could have been that I really wanted to take a day off.
Or maybe it was because I was curious about why he had asked me to come to the temple.
Martin, who found me awkwardly entering the temple, came right up to me and was delighted.
“You are here.”
With those words, I could see why I had stepped into the temple. I just wanted to see his soft smile one more time.
So I nodded my head obediently when he said he wanted to introduce me to someone.
“Henry, this is Amber.”
The person he introduced was the conductor of the temple choir. Henry said right away.
“Would you like to sing a song?”
I made eye contact with Martin, who nodded quietly, and slowly sang the song that came to mind.
The sight of women singing folk songs in the hallowed temple was quite funny to me, but Martin and Henry listened to my song to the end without laughing a bit.
Henry was my first and only teacher.
He taught me how to correct my vocals and how to utilize the space properly to resonate.
And I was quite a good student. I was a student who thought of the two things when taught one, and followed the vocalization and breathing technique he demonstrated well.
Before long I became the member with the most beautiful voice in a mixed choir.
I also played the role of a lead soprano in a short period of time.
The temple needed me. I was a helpful being in the temple, and there was a place for me to stand.
I just liked the strange sense of belonging, so I visited the temple more often and sang.
Martin, who silently watched this whole process by the side, was just a faithful priest. He was more than happy that my voice was being used in the choir.
“Martin, will this get me to heaven?”
“Amber, do you remember the day we first met?”
On a sunny day, as he sat on a bench in front of the temple and listened to my complaints, he smiled softly.
“God knows the goodwill you showed me back then.”
“Is that enough? Then wouldn’t Martin feel wronged? I mean, Martin’s been a priest all his life. I’ve only been to the temple for a few months now…”
I said it out of genuine concern, but this time Martin even laughed out loud.
“Wronged? That is the reason for my life.”
Only then did I understand.
‘Martin saved me.’
And for that, he will go to heaven.
I loved Martin, but it was a different kind of love. There was no shameful feeling between us.
So, I didn’t bother to make excuses to Carlton, who was drunk, yelling and throwing things, saying that I was attached to a newly appointed priest.
I did not bow my head in front of the whispering villagers.
Martin was the first friend I ever made in my life. He was the person I thought I wanted to give my heart to once again after being messed up with Levistan and Carlton.
But Carlton’s patience was quickly running out.
Many people came and went to the temple, and Martin and Henry, whom I was close to, seemed just men to him.
To make matters worse, word spread that the hymns I sang were beautiful, and more people began to flock to the temple. My nerves became extremely sharp.
Then one day, when he saw me talking to Martin with a smile I had never shown to Carlton, he ended up locking me in the house.
He locked the door, tied my hands and feet, and did not give me a proper sip of water.
Had I sworn never to go to the temple again, never to see Martin, he would have been freed in no time. But I didn’t.
When I didn’t come to the temple, Martin came to the house himself, and Carlton threw insults at him and kicked him out.
As this incident was misrepresented, the rumours that were not good even before became worse. So I became an unclean woman and Martin could no longer stay in the village.
On the day Martin left, Carlton finally released me. I ran out of the temple without paying attention to the stinging glances and words of the people around me.
He was just passing by the creek where we first met.
“Martin!”
My throat was a mess because I couldn’t eat or drink properly while I was confined and only screamed. I grabbed his sleeve.
I wanted to use any method to clear his name. But only words of apology came out of my mouth.
“Sorry. I’m sorry, because of me…”
Tears flowed non-stop and I couldn’t speak properly. He waited without a word.
“Because of me, I am so sorry, that this happened. I understand if you regret being nice to me. I shouldn’t have said yes back then. I shouldn’t have introduced myself to the teacher. It’s okay to think like that. I, really…”
My heart was beating fast as if it would explode. Even if I died right away, I wanted to prove that he was not at fault.
Having experienced it in the Lord’s castle, I knew all too well how painful it was to hear the cold gazes pouring down on him and the unruly voices.
So I couldn’t bear to have the villagers call him an unscrupulous man.
He gave me so much and I couldn’t give him anything right.
After listening to my words, he finally opened his mouth.
“Your throat is all hurt.”
I was speechless with my mouth open.
Martin was smiling. When I blinked my eyes once, tears filled my eyes and flowed down my wet cheeks. He was smiling like the day we first met.
“You got thinner since the last time I saw you. You skipped your meals again.”
He asked how I was doing, in a casual tone, as he usually did. And he went on to say
“Keep going to the temple. Henry knows what’s going on, so he won’t be mean to you for missing a few weeks of practice.”
“You got kicked out because of me. I was greedy. I’m so sorry, Martin. I-“
I took a half step back and said with both hands clasped together and my bones bulged out white as I held my hands tightly. He looked down at me and opened his mouth again.
“You are blessed, Amber. Your voice is a gift from God and I am glad I was the first to discover it.”
‘I am cursed. I can never be happy and everyone around me is unhappy. The maids who worked with me, my mother, and maybe even Carlton.’
Even though he must have been no exception, I couldn’t bear to say that.
“I don’t regret meeting you.”
Because I was expecting him to say that. His words always gave me great comfort.
If that would alleviate my guilt, I knew Martin would tell me the same again and again.
At that moment, he said, “Would you like to go with me?”
I raised my bowed head.
“What?”
Seeing my bewilderment, he smiled bitterly.
“I am going back to the central temple of the capital. If you want, I can take you.”
“I…”
I hesitated.
The capital where Levistan was, the capital where I could not go. And now, there could be Martin.
Everyone left me for the capital. Again, Levistan’s face overlapped with Martin’s face.
Five years passed, but he was still in the capital and never came to Haron.
Go to the capital? Now?
My heart sank coldly. I was scared. I’ve lived in Haron all my life and I’ve never left.
I’ve always wanted to leave, but I’ve never thought about leaving.
At that moment, I realized.
“I’m sorry.”
Even in death, I couldn’t leave this place. I’ve been stuck here too long to leave. What can I do now?
I no longer had any regrets left. Martin was happy to take me to the capital, but I knew.
If he takes me with him, he will also do many things for me. And it will soon become a sacrifice. I was afraid of that.
I will be unhappy in the land of Haron, but at least I knew this place well. It made me sink to the ground.
Martin, who read my expression, reached out and wrapped his hand lightly in mine. I was awakened by the feather-like warmth.
“Whenever you come to the capital, come to the temple. I am always there,” he said without a hint of disappointment. He always spoke the truth, so I answered with difficulty.
“I will.”
At my answer, he smiled without wrinkles.
“I know the way from here, so I will send you off here. Go back, it’s getting cold.”
And he left…
The disappearance of Martin did not change the village. Even after that, the gossip toward me continued along with rumours of this and that, and Carlton’s behaviour was still the same.
He said it was okay to go back to the temple as a favour. But I haven’t been to the temple since. I didn’t even go to the capital.
It was because of the damaged throat.
My hoarseness healed quickly, but I couldn’t sing again. The voice, which had risen cleanly and unobstructed, only sounded harsh from a certain point.
Now there really was nothing I could do.
I remembered his voice telling me I was just blessed.
In a life covered in achromatic colours, those short days were as vivid as the colourful windows on the walls of the temple.
Martin was my only friend whom I loved until the day I died.
***