The Returner - Chapter 433

< 433. Ah, shucks… This might not work after all? -3 >

 

“Ah, shucks… This might not work, after all?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

If there ever was one phrase capable of rapidly deflating a person’s enthusiasm, this one had to be it.

 

Yi Ji-Hyuk’s muttering caused every single agent of the NDF to stare at him in crestfallen expressions.

 

“N-no, wait a second here…” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

But those expressions soon morphed into murderous glares and Yi Ji-Hyuk had to explain himself while scratching his head in a sheepish manner.

 

“It’s not like I don’t want to do it, but more like, it might not work out well, so why are you all glaring at me like that?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

“Seriously?! This guy…!” (Seo Ah-Young)

 

Seo Ah-Young noisily gritted her teeth.

 

“Hey, you dumb*ss! Don’t you know how many lives are depending on this mission’s success?!” (Seo Ah-Young)

 

Indeed, her words made a ton of sense.

 

Unfortunately for her, Yi Ji-Hyuk wasn’t someone to cave in just because you started pressing him down. No, he was the type to spring back up even harder when you pressed him, and definitely not someone who’d quietly get crushed by the weight of all that logic.

 

“I said it might not work, so what the heck do you expect from me?!” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

“Kaaaaahk!!!” (Seo Ah-Young)

 

Just before Seo Ah-Young could lose her mind and go ballistic, female NDF agents hurriedly rushed in and began dragging her away.

 

“Let go! You better let go, or else! We’re about to get killed anyway, so I might as well punch that fool in the mouth at least once! So you better let go, now!” (Seo Ah-Young)

 

“Please endure it, Miss Director!”

 

“Let’s be honest here, you also want to see me sock him real good, don’t you?! Don’t you??” (Seo Ah-Young)

 

“Hang on, what are you even…” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

 

Before Choi Jeong-Hoon could say, “What are you even talking about?” and stop her, his eyes caught a truly bizarre sight first. The female agents restraining Seo Ah-Young were ever so slightly loosening their grips on her.

 

“Hul…” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

 

The agents met Choi Jeong-Hoon’s disbelieving gaze and blushed immediately before gripping onto Seo Ah-Young tightly again.

 

‘So, they really did want to see it.’ (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

 

In all honesty, Choi Jeong-Hoon also wanted to see it happen badly as well. He even thought that his life would be extended for an extra decade if Seo Ah-Young could punch the living daylights out of Yi Ji-Hyuk one of these days.

 

However, he knew better than anyone that now wasn’t the right time for this.

 

“Why are you saying that only now? What’s the problem this time?” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

 

“Eh, well…” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

Yi Ji-Hyuk scratched his head and replied.

 

“That missile, you said that it’s flying slower than the speed of sound, right?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

“Yes, that’s right.” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

 

“When I heard that, I was like, ‘Oh, that’s really slow, isn’t it?’ but now that I thought about it some more, isn’t it flying at a speed close to 1,000 kilometres per hour?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

“…Yes, uh, that’s also right?” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

 

“So I was thinking that catching something flying that fast won’t be easy at all.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

…What the freaking hell?! What are we supposed to do if you only manage to think of that now?! (Choi Jeong-Hoon’s inner monologue)

 

“What should we do, then?” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

 

“Mm, well. Someone needs to catch that thing for our plan to work, but…” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

Yi Ji-Hyuk scanned his vicinity, but couldn’t find anyone possessing a suitable set of abilities for what he had in mind.

 

“Oh well, I guess it can’t be helped.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

“I-it can’t be helped? What do you mean?” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

 

“Stop being so scared like that. I’m not giving up here, after all. For now… right, can you call someone on the phone for me?” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

“Call someone? Call who exactly? The defense ministry? Or the Americans?” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

 

“Nah, not those people.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

Yi Ji-Hyuk smirked deeply.

 

“Call Alpha.” (Yi Ji-Hyuk)

 

*

 

“Son of a b*tch.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

Christopher McLaren stared at Alpha currently sleeping inside the lounge’s couch and gritted his teeth.

 

This was no longer in the realm of whether his balls were made out of Grade A titanium or not. Unless a part of your brain was completely, utterly, irreparably damaged, you’d never even imagine doing something like this.

 

And to make matters even worse, the loon in question was the world’s deadliest, worst criminal but at the same time, you could very well refer to him as the lone hope for humanity as well.

 

Christopher McLaren pulled out a cigarette and mouthed it angrily.

 

Now normally, his preference laid with cigars but he couldn’t savour them if his stress level had breached a certain level so he never forgot to carry around a pack of regular cigarettes, too.

 

He lit it up and deeply sucked in the acrid smoke.

 

In all honesty, he just couldn’t stand the sight of this motherf*cker treating this place as his living room.

 

“Alpha.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“M-mm?” (Alpha)

 

“Give me a break. Wake the hell up, you stinking b*stard!” (Christopher McLaren)

 

Alpha cracked open his eyelids ever so slightly and stared at Christopher McLaren, then yawned loudly and pulled the blanket even tighter than before.

 

“Yawn~~, let me sleep for five more minutes, dad.” (Alpha)

 

“You better wake your a*s up before I put a bullet hole in your mouth.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Oh, my. Oh~ my.” (Alpha)

 

Alpha shook his head before pushing himself up.

 

“What brings you, dear Mister Christopher McLaren who must be so busy with lots of important matters, to this humble one’s quarters? Waking me up so early and stuff, too. I’m hypoglycemic, so morning’s not a good time for me, you see.” (Alpha)

 

“I don’t know what constitutes a morning to you, but in terms of what’s accepted as the norm, the real morning has come and gone a long time ago.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Nope. The moment you wake up is your morning. The world revolves around me, after all. And stop glaring at me like that and making me feel uncomfortable. Can you get me a cup of coffee, at least? I’d like Espresso, black. I’ve already helped myself a few times and I’m telling you, the coffee beans you guys have here are top notch. Probably because you guys have way too much budget to waste.” (Alpha)

 

Alpha’s joking tone of voice only prompted Christopher McLaren to bare his fangs.

 

“Where do you think you’re right now? Answer me, Mister Worst Criminal in History?” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“I thought I was inside the American intelligence agency?” (Alpha)

 

Alpha tilted his head this way and that.

 

“If not, did you guys change your job title in the meantime? Ng? Like, while I wasn’t looking? Surely you didn’t come all this way just to inform me of the change, now did you?” (Alpha)

 

“…Son of a b*tch.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

Talking to a b*stard like this about a possible response to the incoming nuke was rapidly turning out to be a hellish experience.

 

“I don’t have time to joke around with you. Those f*cking Chinese Commie b*stards finally did something truly stupid.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Now look here, McLaren. I always say that you’re a true human trash. But that doesn’t mean you should actively try to earn the extra label of racist on top of that, too.” (Alpha)

 

“Because of those idiots, we have a nuke flying towards America right now.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“…Oh. Well, I’ll make an exception this time. Actually, I’m not much of a fan of Asians, either. You’re the only person who knows this secret now, so please, keep it to yourself when out in public, okay?” (Alpha)

 

“Didn’t I say we don’t have time for this? A d*mn nuke is coming. We need your help.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“McLaren, I’m fully aware of how much you believe in me, but I’m not a military specialist so you’ll be better off inquiring the folks in the Pentagon about such issues, instead.” (Alpha)

 

“God d*mn it! You have no clue because you were sleeping through this emergency situation! The demon king b*stard has done something to the warhead and we can’t stop it with any known physical means!” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Uhh, is that so? Mm, so, what should we do now?” (Alpha)

 

“Why are you asking me that?!” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Hold up, McLaren. When looking at it objectively, I’m a criminal so me asking you for a way to respond rather than the other way around would be a more constructive and logical use of our time, wouldn’t you say?” (Alpha)

 

“You think I don’t know that?! I’m only doing this because the situation itself is far too unrealistic!” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“You should calm down first. Okay, so. How about a cold glass of beer? You look really fatigued right now, you see.” (Alpha)

 

Even though he said that, Alpha was sneakily getting up from the couch. If what Christopher McLaren had said just now was all true, then this was definitely no laughing matter. One mistake and the falling nuke would indeed completely obliterate him, too.

 

Even if Alpha managed to tenaciously cling to his life up until now, he’d be nothing more than a handful of dust in front of a nuke, after all.

 

“So, you’re saying that a nuclear warhead that can’t be dealt with by physical means is heading over here.” (Alpha)

 

“That’s right.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Then what are you doing, man? We should be escaping from here already. Get a plane ready.” (Alpha)

 

“The good news is, the warhead meant for here is flying in at a really slow speed. It’ll only reach our position in ten hours’ time.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Oh, hey. That is indeed good news. Plenty of time to escape to another country.” (Alpha)

 

“And here’s the bad news. There are a total of seventeen warheads flying towards various locations around the globe. And we can’t shoot those rockets down with the methods currently at our disposal.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Mm, I see. In that case, cancel my ticket, please. My patriotic spirit won’t let me abandon my country, it seems.” (Alpha)

 

“Son of a b*tch…” (Christopher McLaren)

 

Seeing Christopher McLaren’s profanity-laced reaction, Alpha could really tell that none of this was a joke.

 

“This is not something I can do anything about. How did you even verify that you can’t stop it? Did you try everything?” (Alpha)

 

“Beijing’s been obliterated already.” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Ah, how unfortunate. I was a big fan of our Asian friends, after all.” (Alpha)

 

It was right then, Alpha’s smartphone began ringing loudly.

 

“That’s why we need to find a way, no matter what. We tried every available method we could think of, but the demon king is…” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Hang on for a second, McLaren. Someone’s calling me, you know.” (Alpha)

 

“Answering a measly call isn’t important right now!” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“You know, I’d love to agree with your opinion but this call isn’t some spam coming from a random nobody, you see. So, wait.” (Alpha)

 

Alpha finally silenced McLaren and answered the call.

 

“It’s been a while, Mister Choi.” (Alpha)

 

– “Yes, it indeed is.” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

 

“Well, life certainly throws a lot of surprises in your way, doesn’t it? I mean, here we are, Mister Choi of all people calling me out of the blue.” (Alpha)

 

– “I also never imagined that a day would come where I have to call you first. This is why one should consider living a longer life.” (Choi Jeong-Hoon)

 

‘…Speaking in Korean?’ (Christopher McLaren)

 

Christopher McLaren heard the fluent Korean coming out of Alpha’s mouth as well as a familiar-sounding voice coming out from the phone’s speaker, which told him that the caller had to be none other than Choi Jeong-Hoon.

 

‘Why is Choi Jeong-Hoon contacting Alpha?’ (Christopher McLaren)

 

He might have recognised the voice and the language being used to converse here, but it’d be a stretch even for him to figure out the contents of their conversation.

 

“Ah, is that so? Mm…” (Alpha)

 

Alpha formed a troubled face, before nodding in affirmation.

 

“In that case, it should be better for me to do exactly that. Okay, tell him that I’ll be making my move right away.” (Alpha)

 

Alpha ended the call and looked back at Christopher McLaren.

 

“Hey, McLaren.” (Alpha)

 

“Yeah?” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“I’ve got a business to attend to, so it looks like I gotta go to South Korea for a while.” (Alpha)

 

“What?” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Apparently, Mister Yi Ji-Hyuk is summoning me. Holy cow, that guy is actually asking for me? Dude, can you hear my heart beating faster? It’s like I’m in love or something.” (Alpha)

 

“What the hell are you even talking about, you crazy as*hole?!” (Christopher McLaren)

 

Christopher McLaren shouted out in dismay.

 

“Did none of what I said register in your brain? There’s a d*mn nuke flying towards America and we need your help!” (Christopher McLaren)

 

“Thank you for your passionate sales pitch, but Yi Ji-Hyuk takes priority over a fatso like you. Sorry.” (Alpha)

 

“You insane son of a…” (Christopher McLaren)

 

Just before Christopher McLaren could explode in rage, Alpha cut him off.

 

“Obviously even I won’t be able to do anything here. However, if I help Yi Ji-Hyuk out and prevent the nuke from falling in Korea, that might open up a way. I mean, I’ll be helping him out, so surely he’d be willing to help us out with stopping the nuke landing in America, right?” (Alpha)

 

“…”

 

Christopher McLaren wanted so badly to shout out that Yi Ji-Hyuk had lost his powers, but couldn’t bring himself to do that. Of course Alpha would know about that too, and even if that man had lost his powers, one had no choice but to agree with Alpha’s opinion that Yi Ji-Hyuk’s pool of knowledge was still an invaluable resource in a situation like this one.

 

“In any case, I’ll be back in a jiffy. I’d like a steak for my dinner. Please inform the chef of my choice. Later.” (Alpha)

 

Alpha went Poof! from the spot and disappeared. Christopher McLaren, now left alone, grabbed his hair.

 

‘I’ll seriously lose all my hair at this rate!’ (Christopher McLaren)

 

A person suffering from such a high level of stress like him might either collapse from a heart attack or suffer from hair loss. Or, maybe both at the same time.

 

He groaned helplessly and turned around to head back to his office only for this ominous foreboding to fill up his head.

 

‘By the way, what will happen if the nuke simply skips past South Korea entirely?’ (Christopher McLaren)

 

In that case, he had no choice but to wish for the nuke to fall on South Korea.

 

Christopher McLaren inwardly prayed that the demon king was filled with hatred towards Yi Ji-Hyuk and trudged towards the office.

 

“Focus all of our available satellites to Korea! I must see for myself what Yi Ji-Hyuk and Alpha are planning to do!” (Christopher McLaren)

 

< 433. Ah, shucks… This might not work after all? -3 > Fin.