The Saint’s Dungeon Business - Chapter 9

The Saint’s Dungeon Affairs – 9

[NSFW]

I woke up early in the morning. I checked the clock at the corner of my view, and it was 6 AM. One of my many advantages is that I can get up at 6 AM no matter how tired I am.

While I was waiting for my breakfast to be served at the restaurant, I tested the skills I got last night on the waitress. Number 8 appeared on her head, and the ends of her boobs, the back of her ears and toes started to glow with pink light. The brightness of them are different by parts; I suppose the brighter the more sensitive they are.

Well, boobs and the back of the ears are rather ordinary, but toes… She’s got that innocent face but wants her toes to be touched….

…That turns me on for some reason.

Is this really a skill you can get this early? You can use this skill in so many ways. Hehehe, I won’t have to worry about what to fap on now.

While I was having my breakfast, I glanced at inn visitors to use Analyze and raise its proficiency.

But I gave up raising the proficiency of Sex Analyze and decided to seal it up, because I realized the risk is too high to use it randomly. If I used the skill randomly and accidentally spotted dirty men, aged women, granny, or girl way too young, the information I didn’t want to know may contaminate my brain and break my mind. Even if I use it only on young and beautiful women, that’s problematic as well. Even if I am that proud of my thing, I’m not that perverted to have it erect at public places. For that reasons, I had to seal up Sex Analyze with tears.

On the way to the guild I kept using Analyze on people to raise its proficiency. Of course, raising the proficiency isn’t the only purpose. The biggest purpose is finding a party member.

When a man and a woman becomes a party, due to the characteristics of this world they’ll naturally be sex partners, and that may lead to a better relationship. I was going to find that partner, so I didn’t want to make a compromise with my standard. I want to meet a woman with next-level beauty. Of course, since in this world it is easier to level up the more beautiful you are, it won’t be easy to find an adventurer at my level that meets my standards. But that doesn’t mean I want my monumental first party member at a compromised level. This is all about being patient.

I saw my skill failing on all beautiful women who stand out, but I never gave up using it until I arrived at the guild.

I guess I should visit the dungeon first. Finding a party member surely is important, but I’m really short on money. If I’m not spending a night on the street, I need to earn enough for  a room and I wish to get at least an ordinary cloth while I’m at it. There’s this one thing I’m curious about and that never left my head last night, let’s get that one solved first.

“Oh my, welcome. You are here early this morning. How can I help you today?”

“Oh well, nothing much. There’s one thing I’m curious about.”

I opened my eyes as wide as possible in front of the Guide Lady.

Take that! My Ultimate! Seeeex! ANALYZE!

“Something you are curious about? I thought I gave a good explanation yesterday. Did I miss something?”

Skill activation failed.

Damn it! Can’t her level be low at this beauty?! Why are you working as a guide and make me imagine things?!

“No…. It’s nothing. I’ll be going to the dungeon then.”

“Alright? Oh, well. Safe hunting.”

Leaving Guide Lady wondering, I continued on my way with heavy steps.

The place I went to was the habitat of wolfdogs. There are things I want to experiment on. I need to find a white rat first. According to the information the Guide Lady told me yesterday, wolfdogs roam in groups of two or three, and when a member of a group dies, the others howl to call other groups around. The key’s on killing them before they call the backup, and if I’m careful about it, my stats are high enough to kill them.

But that doesn’t mean I can aggro a group to experiment as it would be a pain in the ass if they call the backup, so let’s find a lone wolf.

Searching while killing a few groups of wolfdogs, I finally encountered a lone wolf. I don’t see any other groups around; this is the perfect chance for an experiment.

I’m not doing anything special even if I said an experiment. Based on what happened yesterday, it seems like dealing damage isn’t exactly the same as playing games, so I just wanted to know them as values. It’s better to get the idea when my level is still low, right?

I first suppressed it with my overwhelming power, bound it with the sleeves I cut out yesterday and grabbed its muzzle. Alright, let’s begin the experiment.

I first let it bite my arm. I was confident that my defense was high enough, and I was ready for the bite, so it wasn’t as painful as yesterday due to panic.

Of course, it’s so much worse than the virtual reality with sensual limits, but it’s bearable. I could see that its fang penetrated through the flesh and I’m bleeding, but that was about it. It wasn’t dealing any critical damage.

I checked the health meter, pulled off the wolfdog and let it bite my leg. With a stinging pain I checked the health health meter. The amount of damage wasn’t so different from the last one.

I suppose they’re similar because they’re limbs? How about the critical point then?

I forced the wolfdog’s mouth open and moved it near my neck.

“Kuwaak! FUCK!”

I thought I was ready for the pain but the horrifying feeling of its fang penetrating my neck was so bad I screamed and punched it without knowing.

No, no. It’s not too late to kill it even after the experiment is over. I can’t lose this chance. I don’t know when I will get it again. I checked the health meter. It dropped by a little, but the damage was bigger than the last two cases.

The next experiment is on what would happen if I take more damage than my health at the end parts. For example, let’s suppose I received more damage than my health could take at the tip of my finger. Would I die, then?

Generally thinking, there is no way I would die by losing the tip of my finger. However, when my health reaches 0 I die by the game system. How will this world process this paradox? From what happened yesterday, I’m confident I won’t die. During the dogfight, the wolfdog that took vital damage on its leg lost its leg and survived.

If that’s the case, how will it appear on my status if I lose a part of my body? And will it regrow if my health regenerates? I know this is crazy to experiment on my body, but my gamer’s instinct kicked in to know the game system precisely.

I let it bite the tip of my little finger first and had a lesser potion ready at my hand.

Well? Here it goes.

How long has it been? I received some damage over time, but that was just about it. I was about to stop seeing my health meter dropped a fair amount when pain overwhelmed my finger with a horrible sound.

“aaaAAAAGH! fuuuCK! FUCK!”

I quickly beat the wolfdog to death and drank the potion to regenerate health, but the pain on my finger didn’t go away. There was an alert I never saw before popped up on my status window.

Status : Body loss

You have received critical damage to your body part. If you don’t get it treated within 24 hours, you lose 50 Max HP permanently.

Fuck! What should I do? Should I visit the temple or something? Would pouring potion on it would help?

I took out all the lesser potions I had and poured it on my finger. The pain went away and the status went back to normal.

Whew…. I almost fucked up. What a fucking gamer instinct. Experiment and verifying is not worth it. I’m not a fucking human being if I do that stupid thing with my body ever again.

What the hell was I thinking? I’m not in a game; what the hell was I doing in a reality I might really die in? Do I still think I’m playing a game?

That feels like I got a bucket of cold ice poured on my face after being haunted by something. I will be REALLY careful from now on. This world is not a game.

Still I found out everything I’d like to know  by using my own body. I should consider it fortunate that I learned it this early when I’m still safe.

I might die if I get attacked at vital points, and the lost limbs don’t grow back even if my health regenerates. This world is real to any extent.

Krrrrr!

When I stood up after extracting the magic stone of the wolfdog that messed up my finger, a new wolfdog approached.

Another lone wolf. I’m lucky today! Oh, I suppose you’re the other wolfdog in the group. Anyways, there was one last thing I wanted to know. Perfect.

Why am I experimenting again after all that pain? It won’t be done on me this time. That wolfdog will be the subject.

What would happen to a monster if it gets its magic stone extracted alive?

The monsters around the dungeon entrance have their magic stones inside their gut so I couldn’t test with them since they’re already dead at the point I get the magic stones out. But the wolfdogs are perfect test subjects. Generally speaking, you don’t die even if you get your balls torn off, do you? Of course, it would hurt so much, and physical and mental damage will be so big you’d wish you’d be dead, but you don’t die.

Male to male, not as a human to monster, I can’t be more sorry, but this is an inevitable sacrifice. At least I will make it quick you won’t feel it.

It hesitated for a moment then fiercely ran at me. It leaped when it was about 2 meters away, then I began to move.

Your back, let me see your back.*

[*TL) This is a famous meme in Korea that implies sex between men. It originated from a Japanese manga title ‘BERSERK’ being censored as it is republished in Korea.]

I first moved around it when it was still up in the air to go behind, and grabbed its unguarded and drooping balls. Wishing the best for its afterlife, I pulled them off with my eyes shut.

With my smooth action, it’s body lost the ability to have a baby and it shrunk as it rotted and disappeared into thin air. What’s left was its leather dropped on the floor and the magic stone in my hand.

“Kekek. Alright. Just as I expected..”

My eyes were on fire seeing the magic stone in my hand.

“If that’s the case, this is the show time.”

From that moment I was unstoppable. When I encountered wolfdogs, I slid by the leaping wolfdogs, got to it’s back and extracted the balls. With scripted-like natural movement I neutralized them and looked for the next sacrifices. The male-to-male feeling was gone already, not even a bit. My head was full of thinking to abuse it as much as possible.

Come to think of it I’ve seen only male wolfdogs. Where are the female ones? That got me curious for a second but I decided not to care. That has nothing to do with me. Even the guild was not fully aware of the monster ecosystem. They had no idea where they come from and what kind of ecosystem they have. The adventurers aren’t ecologists, I suppose they wouldn’t know that much.

Grinding is much more important for now. I can’t understand how such an easy method of farming hasn’t been found yet considering how many adventurers there are, but someday they might and somebody could copy me after seeing me doing it. So I’m farming on wolfdogs as much as possible before the information gets spread.

On that day I was able to earn more than 10 Silvers just by selling the wolfdog magic stones. When it comes to the grinding I just keep saying one more, maybe one more, and keep going.

The original plan was to farm enough for clothes and the inn, and wander around the guild to find a party member using Analyze. But I unexpectedly got distracted by grinding and it got too late now. So I’ll start looking for a party member tomorrow.

I’ll consider today successful since I got some money left after buying clothes. I bought ordinary clothes. I look so ordinary in this clothing that they might call me Villager A instead of an adventurer, but I’ll be hunting wolfdogs for a while, and that means I won’t receive any damage anytime soon, I don’t need armor yet.

That ended the day and I came back to the inn. Laying on the bed I opened the game windows by habit before I fell asleep. I don’t seem to level up at all after killing that many wolfdogs.

I shouldn’t expect to level up on combat. Now I doubt if the high-level virgin character they mentioned in their official blog could exist in this world. I don’t really mind my girl not being a virgin but I’d welcome such a girl.

I fall asleep with meaningless thoughts.

============================ Author’s Comment ============================

@Elpo, Thank you for recommending my work. It really is a mad world.

@Ginta, Thank you for recommending my work. People seem to like the overall atmosphere

@NoWay, Thank you. I’m glad you seem to like it.

@Contaminated Throne, Thank you. The MC does have a unique thinking process..

@Thgall, I never thought I would receive a coupon. Thank you!

@Gaogas,  Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed reading.

@AaaaJustEnjoy, I’m sorry. I’m a new writer barely writing a chapter a day after work, so I don’t think releasing multiple chapters would happen anytime soon.

[TL: My work time is very unstable. I would do my best to release a chapter every other day and maybe 2~3 on weekends.]