The Simulacrum - Chapter 103

Sometimes, a new environment made one realize things that were, in retrospect, quite obvious. Such as that, despite already having a pair of vintage massage chairs back at the base, I somehow never used one before this day. Granted, those weren’t recliners, and a bit less sophisticated than the one I was sitting in at the moment, but considering how much my tired back and hips appreciated the rollers tirelessly working under the leather covers, I felt a little silly about only just discovering their benefits.

I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed the experience, as Morgana soon let out a content sigh in the chair next to mine. She already had a morning soak, and had her hair done up in a bun again, and more curiously, Ichiko was on top of her, napping on her lap. I was familiar with that kind of thing, as she made a habit out of sleeping on people’s laps, including mine from time to time, but she normally did that in her tiny fox form. I had an inkling she would’ve done so this time as well, except I’d explicitly forbidden her to transform while at the resort.

The reasoning was quite prosaic; the place simply didn’t allow pets on the premises, and while we had yet to see any employees beyond the placeholder receptionist lady and the Goldfish Poop Gang, it was better to be safe than sorry, and the less said about someone accidentally catching her in the middle of her transformation, the better.

Ah, but speaking of the three reformed delinquents, they were also responsible for the room service, so after the tall guy delivered our breakfast in the morning, I took the opportunity pull his aside and covertly question him. As it turned out, his uncle was running a company with multiple small shops and food courts across the island, and he got them a part-time job for the winter break. Pretty familiar.

While I did that, the tall guy (Jones, I think) unsubtly questioned me about why I was sharing the room with two girls in return, and after I explained my relationship to him, he nodded along like he completely understood everything. In other words, it was practically guaranteed he had some kind of contrived misunderstanding, but I didn’t try to correct it. While it was a loosely related trope at best, such misconstructions weren’t particularly uncommon in hot springs episodes, and I had a feeling that trying to set him straight would’ve just led to more shenanigans.

While on the topic of hot springs tropes, I also had to admit that I was starting to feel a little antsy. We’d been at the resort for close to a whole day by this point, and there was nary a hint of weird developments. Well, besides Judy agreeing to have a lewding-free day after she, predictably, overdid things. I won’t go into details, but it included an impromptu contest with the princess, lots of sore muscles, and handcuffs getting banned in my household, and let’s leave things at that.

Anyhow, while Judy readily dialing back the throttle on our sex life was unexpected (though if I had to guess, it was probably because her hips were hurting at least as much as mine), it wasn’t the kind of Narrative-driven unpredictable development I was predicting. I figured that we would’ve had at least one overtly ‘ecchi’ event in the form of some accidental exposure or an unforeseen wardrobe malfunction, but so far, there was nary a hint of that. Was I getting too impatient? After all, it had only been a single night. It also wasn’t a rule that we absolutely had to have such events; we could just as well have a family-friendly stay, with only cute interactions.

“Funnyuu!”

Glancing over, I saw Ichiko stretch her back, only to ball up again and go back to sleep while Morgana gently stroked her head. Well, it wasn’t the kind of ‘cute interaction’ I had in mind, but I take it.

“Careful, Morgana. You’re spoiling her,” I whispered to my neighbor, half-joking, but she took my words completely seriously.

“I disagree, your majesty,” she whispered back, and continued her head-patting efforts. “Children are meant to be pampered.” Blinking in surprise, I was just about to point out that she was technically older than the rest of us in the resort combined, but before I could get a word in, she added, “Remember that you had also been a child once, and not so long ago.”

“Um… Yes. Or so I’ve been told.”

Now it was her turn to blink uncomprehendingly, right until the proverbial light bulb lit up over her head.

“My apologies. Your condition completely slipped my mind. No offense was meant.”

“None was taken.”

She nodded, and apparently considered the conversation over, focusing her attention on the girl sleeping on her legs. I, on the other hand, had a sudden question rear its head at the back of my mind, and had to ask it before I got distracted by something.

“Did you know me as a child?”

“In a manner of speaking,” she answered, sounding unusually unsure of herself. “I was introduced to your majesty by Sir Percival, not long after he recruited you along with Penelope.”

“From the orphanage,” I guessed, and she nodded along. “How old was I back then?”

“I’m afraid I don’t know.”

“I’m okay with a ballpark guess too.”

She remained hesitant, but after some thinking, she answered with, “If I had to estimate, I’d say around twelve or thirteen.”

“And this was how many years ago?” I pressed on, and this time she spent even more time considering the question.

“You gained your mantle of the Lion Knight two years ago, you served as Sir Olen’s Squire for a year beforehand, and you had spent four years as Sir Percival’s charge before that.”

So that’s at least seven years, and then I add my estimated age at the time, and… I knew it! I really was older than the others! Thankfully, it was only by two years at most, three at worst. I had no idea what Critias’s age of consent laws said about an age-gap like that, but just the fact that I no longer had to worry about being a baby-faced thirty years old took a huge weight off my chest. The fact it took this long to figure this out was also pretty annoying, but the other Knights, including Penny, doggedly refused to talk about my childhood in detail, as if afraid that I would recall some terrible secret or what have you.

On a side note, I had no idea what kind of expression I was making at this moment, but it somehow prompted Morgana to keep talking, and the first thing she said immediately piqued my interest.

“The first time we met, I considered you a strange child.”

“Really?” She only nodded, but after being thrown a bait like that, I couldn’t exactly leave it alone. “How was I as a kid?”

She paused again, and I imagined she was collecting her thoughts. As it turned out, it had more to do with picking the right words.

“You were quite… gregarious. You easily maintained eye contact and were able to lead conversations your way even at a young age. You were friendly, but you lacked warmth and your words often felt hollow and conniving. You also had a… unusual relationship with Penelope.”

“… As in?”

“You two came to the Brotherhood together, as brother and sister, but from the outside, it felt too one-sided. She was depending on you to an unnatural degree, she was always hiding behind you and looking for your approval, and never did anything without your consent.”

“Really? Are you saying Penny used to be shy? Huh. I can kind of see it, but kind of can’t at the same time…”

“No, your majesty. That isn’t quite right.” Seeing that I raised a confounded brow at her comment, Morgana slowly shook her head and lowered her voice even further. “Your majesty? Will you allow me to speak my mind freely?”

“I… didn’t think you needed permission to do that.” She only continued to intently stare at me, so I quickly relented. “Yes, please do.”

“I shall do so.” Despite saying that, she paused once again, as if still unsure whether she was supposed to keep talking. “Please do not misconstrue my words as a sign of disloyalty, but… I believe the best word to describe your relationship with Penelope at the time is ‘exploitative’.”

“I was exploiting her?” I echoed her, and she softly grunted in agreement.

“During the few times we interacted over the years the two of you were in Sir Percival’s care, I always felt that you were purposefully keeping Penelope isolated, to ensure that she would have no one else but you to rely on.”

“Seriously?”

“That was my impression, and Arnwald also shared my opinion at the time. I understand that it’s hard to accept, but if you demand it, I’m willing to swear an oath of honesty and put my honor on the—”

“No-no. There’s no need for that,” I cut her off before she could gather steam. “I believe you. I mean, I don’t remember any of this, but if you say that’s how things were, I have no choice but to accept it.”

Not to mention, I already had an inkling that something like this had been going on, just based on the baffled expressions the senior Knights were making whenever I had a completely normal sibling interaction with my knightly sister. That said, Morgana’s description not only confirmed some of my suspicions, but also made me wonder just how bad this ‘exploiting’ thing used to be if even she couldn’t sugarcoat it.

“I will do my very best to live up to the trust you invested in me,” Morgana declared, and she would’ve likely done a salute, if not for the girl still sleeping on her lap.

“No need to be so dramatic about it.” I waved her off, then a stray thought later I added, “That said, the Penny I know really doesn’t strike me as a shrinking violet type.”

“If by that you mean being withdrawn, I believe it is all thanks to Sir Roland’s influence. She used to be her Squire and apprentice before Sir Percival bestowed the mantle of the Unicorn Knight upon her.”

“He can do that?”

“Certainly. As the Keeper of the Bloodlines, his goal was to search for potential new members of the Brotherhood and, if found worthy, bestow one of the vacant mantles upon them.” She paused here and gave me a questioning look. “It is a role you had inherited from him, and it was the reason why you came to this island. Did the others fail to explain it to you?”

“No. Or rather, I knew I came here to test Josh, and that’s why I brought Cal with me, but I didn’t know about the rest of the details, no.”

“I must talk with Arnwald then. I can scarcely believe he forgot to explain one of the Brotherhood’s most important offices to you.”

“To be fair, the whole thing is kind of obsolete now, since we rebranded to the Ordo Draconis, so don’t be too hard on him.”

“If your majesty requests so, I will follow your orders.”

“Not every word that comes out of my mouth is an order, you know?” She looked at me like I just told her Jupiter was made of cheese, so I moved the conversation along. “Anyhow, since this came up, you might as well explain it yourself. Does that mean that this Sir Percival had control over who would become an Entitled Knight?”

“The Keeper of the Bloodlines only had the authority to bestow vacant mantles on the worthy. For members on active duty, it was more common to groom their successors personally, before passing the mantle onto them.”

“When they retired?”

“In a manner of speaking.”

“… Okay, let’s ignore the gruesome details and focus on the inheritance. So, Penny joined Roland’s entourage, but since he’s still active, she got a vacant title instead.”

“That is correct. I believe Sir Percival specifically brought her into the fold to have her inherit the mantle of the Unicorn Knight.”

“And I was dragged along for the ride,” I added jokingly, but she nodded like I was dead serious.

“So you are aware. I imagine Sir Duncan must have been unable to hold his tongue in your presence. He had bemoaned your presence ever since the first time you two had encountered each other.” She paused here, and showed a thin-lipped smile. “I was happy to see that your relationship had improved a great deal since the last time I had seen you in Boston. As expected of your majesty.”

I almost reflexively told her to look twice, but decided to keep the conversation on track instead.

“Putting ol’ Dunky aside, I figure that I got my Lion Knight title through Percival as well.”

“Indeed.”

“Was it nepotism?” She once again looked at me funny, so I clarified, “I mean, the Lion Knight is supposed to be a weapons specialist, and last I’d heard, I used to be a pretty pathetic duelist.”

“Please do not put yourself down, your majesty. You were merely on the… less proficient side.” She must have realized that was a dead-end, as she quickly backpedaled. “Essentially, you had received your mantle upon Sir Olen’s recommendation.”

“There’s that name again. Who’s he?”

Morgana patiently explained, “Sir Olen was the previous Raven Knight. Your majesty apprenticed under his supervision as a Squire, along with my nephew. Upon his retirement, Sir Olen appointed Agrawain as his successor and recommended you for receiving a mantle of your own. Or, at the very least, that is how I’ve heard. I wasn’t present at the occasion.”

“Oh. So some Knights did retire after all. Also, is it just me, or was the Brotherhood way more interpersonally entwined than expected?”

“I don’t know what your majesty might or might not have expected, but such were our ways since the founding of the Brotherhood.” Morgana’s eyes narrowed into smiling slits and she added, with an amused voice, “Why, Sir Roland used to be my apprentice, while Sir Duncan was at one point Arnwald’s first Squire. Not to mention, the two of us apprenticed under the late Dame Cilla.”

That… certainly explained the whole ‘big, slightly dysfunctional family’ vibes our Knights occasionally gave off, and I honestly didn’t know how to feel about the fact that my pre-amnesia self was apparently the black sheep of this group. Then, as if reading my mind, Morgana spoke up again.

“If I may be so presumptuous to advise your majesty, I hope the Ordo Draconis will uphold this tradition of the Brotherhood. Forming strong interpersonal bonds is pivotal for forming a strong, united organization.”

“I don’t really have anything against it, but I hope you’re aware that, with the current recruitment drive mainly being aimed at Draconians, you’re going to have to form those bonds with them.”

“It is hardly an issue. Due to your majesty leading by example, the Ordo Draconis is already known as a place where anyone can find their place regardless of origins. It is only proper that we, as your retainers, do our utmost to follow the new path you broke with your own feet.”

“You… are making this sound way more grandiose than it actually is,” I pointed out, but she only smiled at me in return, like she was impressed by how humble I was or something equally silly.

However, before I could clear up her misunderstanding, we were both startled by a high-pitched cry coming from the direction of the baths. I reflexively rose to my feet, but before I could even ask what was going on, a startled Ichiko all but flew off Morgana’s lap and landed in an unsteady martial arts stance.

“Wha? Where’s the bad guy?”

“Easy there.”

I stood up and stabilized the groggy girl by placing a hand on her noggin. In the meantime, Josh rushed out of the arcade corner and poked his head through the doorway leading to the outdoor baths.

“What happened? Did someone get hu—?”

“Kya! Don’t look!”

That second cry came from Angie, and a moment later Josh staggered back with a wet towel hanging off his face. My first instinct was to Far Glance at the women’s bath (there was nothing perverted about it, since it was an emergency, and they were wearing swimsuits anyway), but before I could get to it, my phone began to buzz in my pocket.

“Yes, Dormouse?”

Despite the commotion still going on in the background, Judy sounded entirely indifferent as she curtly stated, “Chief, we had a peeper.”

“Oh? Well, about time I say. How serious is the situation?”

“Penelope noticed his head over the fence, and Elly threw a rock at him.”

“Wait, do you mean one of the big ones around the pool? Did anything get broken?”

“No. She overshot it. Rinne had jumped out of the water and she said she was going to apprehend the culprit, but she already came back and she’s currently talking about too much Yin energy in the air, and…” She paused here for a moment, and I could hear someone talking in the background. “And Galatea asked me to tell you that if she had her Plasma Disintegrators, she could’ve resolved the situation already. She also says ‘wink-wink’.”

“… In other words, the situation’s under control, and nobody’s particularly terrified. Roger,” I concluded with a sigh. “Are you coming out?”

“Angeline left, but I think I’m going to keep soaking a while longer.”

“Okay then. See you at lunch. Xoxo.”

“Xoxo you too.”

With that, she cut the line, though not before I could hear someone complaining about her not taking the situation seriously, and her responding with something about being mentally prepared. Anyhow, once we clarified things, I turned to the still posing little girl.

“The bad guy already left the area. You can go back to sleep now.”

“Hm? Oh. Okay.”

I was half-kidding, yet the moment she got permission, she crawled back onto the amused Gorgon Knight’s lap, and a few seconds later, she was back to sleep. I might’ve once again looked just a tad incredulous, as she firmly told me, “Children need a lot of sleep to grow big and healthy.”

“They sure do,” I answered just a touch half-heartedly before I put my phone away and rolled my shoulders.

So, the Narrative’s opening move was a hot springs peeper, huh? A very orthodox way to start things, so by no means unexpected, and I had to agree with my dear assistant. Being prepared for the tropes ahead of time, for once, I felt like we were on top of things. So long as we kept our cool and remained calm and analytical, we had everything under control. Or so I thought…

“We need to find that creep!” Josh declared with his arms crossed, actively destroying the peace and quiet of the lounge.

“We must!” Ichiko agreed by mirroring his stance. “We can’t let him ruin ue-sama’s vacation!”

I wanted to point out that making a mountain out of a molehill like this was more likely to do that than any random peeping tom, but I sucked the words back. I repeated ‘Don’t get involved, Leo. Don’t get involved.’ in my head a couple of times and continued to openly laze around on one of the divans. This was obviously some kind of onsen-episode-flavored plot for local protagonist types, so I proceeded to recline back, doggedly ignore the overly passionate group on my left, and keep reading my book. I got it from the library, and it was about a peach farmer who got transported to a fantasy world by a magical truck, and he fought his enemies with magic fruits and vegetables. It was very educational.

I would’ve absolutely, obviously, and very genuinely loved to immerse myself in his avocado-slinging, banana-splitting, pineapple-pulverizing adventures, but I couldn’t, as Josh was soon joined by even more eager partners.

“Rinne whale-heartedly agrees with Joshua-san!”

Our resident highly visible ninja, currently wearing a fluffy purple bathrobe over her swimsuit, tried to appear solemn and reliable. She failed.

“Rinne-san meant ‘wholeheartedly’, and I think so too!” the tiny miko poured more enthusiasm onto the fire by raising a fist high into the air. “We must clear this stain of failure on our honor as retainers by catching this villain!”

“Now that you mention it, securing the area was your job, wasn’t it?” Josh commented on the side, and it immediately put Mountain Girl on the defensive.

“Rinne was sure the onmyodo barriers around the boundary were enough to deter any evildoers! That’s why Rinne wasn’t expecting it! Next time, Rinne will definitely evis… evisce… slay the intruder!”

I really, really wanted to interject and tell her not to do that, but it would’ve violated my ‘don’t get involved’ mantra, so I swallowed my objection down and focused on the book.

“Since we’re all in agreement, I propose that we form an anti-creeper task force!”

“Rinne requests to join this fellowship!”

“Good. What about you?”

“I’m Judy-ue’s guard!” the tiny miko answered while excitedly shadow-boxing. “This time, I will protect her dignity and have ue-sama praise me!”

“Rinne too!”

Mountain girl was getting more fired up by the second, to the point she was slowly breaking out into one of her trademark slasher grins. Of course, I only noticed that in passing, since I was obviously too absorbed in my book. About a guy fighting pig-headed orks with exploding eggplants and eviscerating elderberries.

…

Oh, fine. I wasn’t actually reading the book. It was just my cover, so that I could observe the plot development from the sidelines while pretending that I didn’t notice the expectant glances Josh was routinely sending my way. He was probably waiting for me to join his impromptu task force, but I knew better. As I said, this was almost certainly an ‘event’ designed specifically for him, so I washed my hands of the whole affair.

Maybe if the girls were naked, or even just sufficiently scared by the experience, I might’ve potentially done something about the situation, but considering the circumstances, the perpetrator was probably more terrified by a stone the size of my head getting flung at them than any of the ‘victims’.

That said, I was at least a little curious about the identity of the peeper. These kinds of events usually had the idiot friend archetype, or maybe some troublemaker delinquent types, act as the perpetrator. Most of the time it was either just horsing around, or some silly thing with the perversion ramped up for comedic effect, but in either case, the culprits were almost always people the main characters already knew. However, as the resident ex-idiot-friend, I obviously wasn’t going to do it, and while we had the Goldfish Poop Gang around, they were still weirdly wary of me, so I seriously doubted they would dare to pull a stunt like that. That only left us with our in-group, and nobody here, not even Duncan, was stupid enough to peep, even for a joke.

Maybe it was a setup for another event? I imagined we’d soon find out, considering how keen Josh was about tracking the guy down. Actually, that brought up another question: was he narratively influenced to be so indignant about the situation, or did he have his own Watsonian reasons? I wondered what Judy would’ve said about it, and as if on cue, she entered the lounge in the company of the princess, closely followed by my sisters.

We already had our lunch in the restaurant, browsed the resort’s small library, and then while I set up camp here to observe the situation, the girls got changed in preparation for the fighting game tournament. I had no idea why that needed a change of attire, and what they were wearing didn’t seem too different from their usual outfits, but maybe it was a girl thing my terminally male brain just couldn’t hope to comprehend. In any case, they made their way over to us and the princess automatically sat down next to me.

“We aren’t late, are we?”

“Nah. They’re still discussing the whole peeper thing,” I told her with a shrug. “They’re apparently trying to catch the guy by forming some kind of security squad.”

“Really?” Penny perked up and glanced over to Josh’s group. “Do you think I can join them?”

“Don’t ask me, ask them.”

My knightly sister let out a huff and turned on her heel, leaving Snowy behind. After a moment of confusion, my Abyssal sister decided to stay, and sat down on my divan, leaving enough space so that Judy could still sit next to me if she wanted. She was such a considerate girl.

“So… what are you reading?” the princess inquired while unsubtly peeking at my book.

“It’s a weird story of a farmer squashing monsters with magical squashes.”

“The vegetable?” Snowy muttered on my other side, and I nodded. “Is it any good?”

“Nah, it’s downright terrible, but I got a couple of chuckles out of it,” I admitted, and before I knew it Elly smoothly pulled the book over to give it a closer look.

“Is it bad enough for a live reading session?” my dear assistant asked, and I only just noticed that she had a huge bag of popcorn in her hands.

When she noticed my gaze, she offered it to me, but I shook my head. We had a full-course meal for lunch, and I was still full. If anything, I was curious how she still had space in her frame for snacks after wolfing down a whole steak. I’ve heard that girls had a separate stomach for sweets, but I seriously doubted that buttered popcorn qualified for that.

More importantly, I considered her question and shook my head again.

“It’s not nearly nanar enough for that. It’s just a generic power fantasy, just with magical vegetables.”

“Nanar?” Snowy echoed me with an inquisitive look in her eyes. “Is that one of those trope things you sometimes talk about?”

“In a manner of speaking,” Judy answered in my stead between two bites. “Nanar is when an author or director is trying to make something serious to the best of their ability, but the end product ends up unintentionally hilarious due to incompetence.”

“Oh. Do you mean… something like that movie we watched a while back? With the giant robots in space?”

“More or less,” I muttered, suddenly recalling that I totally forgot to look into buying the IP rights for that movie as her Christmas present. Oh well. Maybe for her birthday.

“Hey, guys? What’s up?” Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Angie approaching us, her sideways ponytail bouncing around with each springy step. However, before any of us could answer, she momentarily froze in her track and stared at Elly with wide-open eyes. “Hold on! Is that the second volume of Potato Knight?”

“Um… Let me see…” she turned the book around to take a look at the cover. “Apparently, it is.”

“Awesome! It’s one of my favorites!”

Saying so, Angie sat down next to the princess, and even though we still had a space open for Judy, the divan was starting to feel a little crowded. More importantly, once seated, she began drilling my girlfriend.

“Is this the first time you’re reading it? How far have you got? The Tomato Fairy was really cute, right? And what do you think about the romance subplot? It only really picks up steam in the fourth volume, but there are already a couple of super-adorable scenes with the protagonist and the duchess in the second volume! Did you get to the part where they go to the ball and dance in the air above the castle?”

“Um… Errr… Leo? Help?”

Sighing, I gently pulled the book out of Elly’s hand and turned to face the energetic Celestial.

“Actually, I was the one who borrowed this from the library just now, and I can’t comment on any of those things, as I just started reading it.”

“Oh, so it’s your first time. In that case… Wait.” All of a sudden, Angie’s eyes narrowed in disapproval. “You started with the second volume?”

“This was the only one I could find,” I explained, but it only made her even more incredulous.

“Are you crazy!? You can’t start a seminal classic from the second volume! You’re missing all the plot developments and character descriptions and the food discussions!” One of those was distinctly more important than the rest, but I didn’t really care either way, so I simply shrugged. “Heresy! You’re a heretic! You must repent by reading the series from the beginning!”

For some reason (possibly an inside joke I didn’t get), she was making a cross with her fingers while pestering me, and after a while, I told her, “Well, I can’t, because the library doesn’t have the first volume.”

“That’s not an excuse! Once we’re back home, I’m lending you all seventeen volumes, and you better read them all from cover to cover, mister! It’s going to be on the test!”

“What test?”

“The test I’ll put together to see if you’ve read Potato Knight properly!” Angie declared just a tad smugly, and I was just about to tell her to cut it out when my dear assistant raised her voice.

“If you don’t want to read them, can I take a look?”

“… Are you serious, Dormouse?”

“It’s for research,” Judy stated flatly, and it somehow got my other girlfriend fired up, taking the book out of my hands again.

“Hey, that’s a good idea! It should be great practice for finding tropes!”

“Stop!” came the next exclamation from Angie, and she tried to take the book for herself. “You can’t start with the second volume! It’s going to spoil the finale of the first book!”

It was around this time that my self-preservation instincts kicked in, and shifted my ‘Don’t get involved’ mantra’s target over to Angie. Which, in turn, meant that I was now paying attention to Josh’s group instead.

“Why should you be the leader?” my redhead sister asked in a provocative tone, followed by an indignant huff.

“Because it’s my anti-creeper task force,” Josh explained in the same manner, all the while staring daggers at her. Of course, my sister wasn’t exactly cowed by this and returned the gesture twofold by pointing a finger at the guy’s forehead.

“You have no experience! If you want to see results, you should let your senior lead the group!”

“Since when were you my senior?”

“I, am an Entitled Knight, which makes me your superior,” Penny declared while gesturing at herself. “Uncle Roland told me you want to join us, so you might as well start getting used to it!”

“Oh really? Last I’ve heard, you’re being reorganized, and that entitlement thing doesn’t mean anything anymore,” Josh jabbed back defiantly, and even though he was reaching (the reorganizing of the ranks wasn’t that drastic), it still caused Penny to reel back.

“M-Maybe, but I’m still brother’s sister! That means I’m his second-in-command!”

“Wasn’t that Roland?” Josh mused in faux innocence, causing my sister to steadily turn redder by the second.

“Then the third!”

“I’m pretty sure that’s Arnwald,” he pointed out, and this time my knightlier sister’s fuse was really about to blow.

Glancing around, we locked gazes for a moment, yet to my surprise, she didn’t address me, but instead the girl sitting next to me.

“S-Sister! Support! I need support!”

Taken aback, Snowy remained in a surprised stupor for a couple of seconds, so to help her out, I leaned over a whispered into her ear. Her eyes lit up at once, and she conveyed my idea with the words, “You… are both going to compete, right? I-I mean, playing that game.” After a long beat, Josh and Penny both nodded more-or-less in unison. “If so, then… Why don’t you use it to decide? Whoever wins gets to be the leader… or something like that.”

“That’s a great idea!” my knightly sister declared on the spot and flashed a provocative grin at Josh. He, on the other hand, was considerably less fired up.

“Why do I have to do that? I’m already the leader, so I won’t gain anything even if I win!”

“What? Are you afraid of losing? Are you a chicken?”

“Excuse me?” Instead of answering, Penny started doing weird clucking noises, so Josh turned to me with a befuddled look in his eyes. “Hey, Leo? Can you do something about your sister? She’s embarrassing herself in front of everyone.”

“Oh, shut up!” Apparently out of patience, Penny grabbed hold of Josh’s collar and pulled him towards the arcade corner. “I’ll show you!”

“Are we seriously doing this?” Since nobody answered, my friend soon gave up and brushed the hand holding onto his clothes off. “Fine, whatever. Just don’t cry after I beat you.”

“That’s what you said before the tournament too, and look who was laughing at the end?”

Penny flashed a smug grin that, once again, reminded me of the princess. Josh, on the other hand, looked like he just bit into a lemon.

“I told you, I was still recuperating at the time.”

“Excuses.”

“Oh, really? I wonder if you’ll have any after I beat you.”

“Bring it on, tough guy!”

I couldn’t help but feel that the whole conversation went way off the rails somewhere, and considering that Ichiko and Rinne left the group halfway through and headed towards the sauna while discussing their own plans, I wasn’t the only one. Anyhow, that hubbub was under wraps for the time being, so I was about to turn to my dear assistant when Snowy tugged on my sleeve.

“Thanks, Leo,” she whispered with a bashful smile. “My mind went completely blank back there.”

“No problem, sis.” I thought that was the end of it, but seeing how she was still looking at me while subtly fidgeting, I figured she might’ve had something else on her mind as well. “Is there something bothering you?”

“W-What? No? W-What makes you think there’s a problem?” That would’ve sounded suspicious even under the best circumstances, but when she averted her eyes too, I was sure something was going on.

“Are you sure? We can go to a more private spot if it isn’t something you want to discuss in public,” I proposed, but she shook her head so hard her twin tails were all over the place.

“N-No, it’s not like that! It’s just… um… Do… Do you think Penny seemed… different from usual?”

I glanced at my other sister, who was by the Street Kombat cabinet and picking her fighter, and even after replaying the previous conversation in my head, I couldn’t help but shrug.

“Not really. Why? Did something happen?”

Snowy was still reluctant, but ultimately gestured for me to lean closer, and when I did, she whispered directly into my ear.

“Last night… we did something sisters aren’t supposed to do.”

It took an inhuman effort to still my facial muscles, and after taking and exhaling a painfully deep breath, I whispered back, “Sis, please be more specific.”

“So… um… Last night, after turning off the lights, we couldn’t sleep, so we started talking about all kinds of things, and then we… had a fight,” she blurted out, and I patiently waited for her to continue. She didn’t.

“A fight about what?”

“About… which one of us is your… um… ‘first sister’,” she told me, and it once again took a lot of effort to remain expressionless. “I-I mean… she’d known you for longer, but you forgot about her, and then I was the one who got officially registered as your sister first, and… and it’s silly, isn’t it?”

“A little,” I admitted while rubbing her noggin. “You know that I don’t play favorites.”

“I-I know, it’s just… once we started arguing about it, I just kind of… you know?”

I didn’t, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t give her even more of my trademarked Big Brotherly Headpats to calm her down.

“Sure, sure. So? Do you need me to mediate between you two?”

“Hm? Oh, no. We already made up.” When I raised a confused brow at that, she hastily explained, “After we argued, Penny said that she was sorry, and then we hugged it out.”

“So then, where’s the problem?”

“I’m just… not sure that she’s really not angry with me.”

“It doesn’t seem so from where I’m sitting,” I told her, but she didn’t look convinced. “If you’re still bothered by it, just talk with her in private again. You already made it up once, so what’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like you would suddenly stop being my sisters over something so trivial.”

“You’re right, I guess…”

My dear Abyssal sister was still conflicted, so on a whim, I tapped her shoulder and pointed at Penny and Josh, already in the process of duking it out in the game.

“Why don’t you go and cheer on her, then? I’m pretty sure Penny would appreciate it.”

“I don’t know… wouldn’t that make Joshua feel bad?”

“Then cheer on him too. She won’t mind…” I paused here, then quickly added, “But in the off-chance she does, you have my permission to shift the blame onto me.”

“That doesn’t seem fair either…”

Chuckling, I rubbed her head again, this time just a tad harder, and told her, “Stop overthinking things and just have fun. That’s why we’re here.”

She was still a little reluctant, but after some further prodding, Snowy finally stood up and made her way over to the site of the epic ultimate duel of ultimate destinies. Teenagers and their overthinking, amirite?

So, with her out of the picture, I was just about to turn over to the princess’s side, who was still busy discussing the deep and nuanced characters arcs, in a book about slaying spooky skeletons with deadly dates and killer kiwifruits… which she didn’t actually read yet. That apparently didn’t stop her, nor did it give Angie any second thoughts about spoilers, in contrast with her previous words. However, before I could properly listen in on their discussion, I was surprised by Judy casually taking a seat in the hitherto vacant spot next to me.

I was expecting that she would say something, but instead, she just set her head against my shoulder and continued to eat her popcorn.

“Hey, Dormouse?” Glancing up at me, she gave me an odd look. “You’re being awfully quiet.”

“I’m simply observing our surroundings,” she told me like it was obvious. “It’s rare to have a quiet moment like this, so I’m enjoying it to the fullest.”

“I’m not sure I would call this day ‘quiet’, but… I guess you’re not wrong, per se.”

“Of course I’m not. I’m always right, except when the world is wrong. Anyhow, popcorn?”

I turned a skeptical eye, first at her, then at the nearly empty bag in her hand.

“You’re unusually mellow today. What gives?”

“What a silly question, Chief? You ask as if you weren’t the one who helped me reach nirvana last night.”

“… Was that an innuendo?”

“Maybe. So, do you want any popcorn, or not?”

We locked eyes for a moment, and then I unceremoniously reached into the bag and took a handful, much to my girlfriend’s satisfaction, after which she nuzzled even closer to me.

Putting the whole ‘nirvana’ thing aside, maybe Judy was right. While things were a little hectic on the surface, all the hubbub was about fairly tame and inconsequential things. Maybe unwinding for a while and just passively looking at things unfold with popcorn in hand wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

As I had already discussed with the girls before, onsen episodes were designed to showcase three things: fanservice in the form of various levels of nudity (either the accidental, or the ‘hidden by strategically placed steam clouds’ variety), risqué and/or embarrassing shenanigans (again, featuring various levels of nudity), and party games. Oh, there was also ping-pong, but the resort didn’t have a table, so it was a moot point. The closest thing we had was the air hockey table, but since we already had one of those back at the base, it didn’t have nearly enough novelty to draw our little group’s attention for more than a couple of matches.

For now, let’s ignore the conspicuous lack of indoor ball sports (they weren’t all that intriguing without easily disheveled Japanese robes anyway), and focus on the actual thing unfolding in our very own VIP room. Needless to say, contrary to Judy’s earlier remarks, it wasn’t strip poker, though we certainly had more than enough drunk people in the room to qualify. No, the game on our hands was another sub-trope of the hot spring episode, namely a peculiar variant of ‘truth or dare’.

At its core, it was a simple game: everyone sits in a circle, you spin a bottle in the middle, and whoever the bottle ends up pointing at has to either answer a question or do something embarrassing. Simple, easy, straightforward. Needless to say, we managed to overcomplicate the hell out of it.

“{Young knight! Stop this at once! I do not find this amusing at all!}”

Ignoring the complaints of the sword in the middle, I put a finger on its hilt and spun it around once again. As it turned out, the embossed lion head decoration on Cal’s new scabbard was at the balance point, meaning it could be used to spin them with ease. It was convenient and stylish, though they didn’t appreciate being used this way too much.

“Spin! Spin! Spin!” my redhead sister chanted on the side, only to then panic and wave her hands around. “No! Stop spinning! Stop!”

Despite… well, whatever she was trying to do by waving at Cal, the tip of the scabbard ended up unambiguously pointing at her.

“‘main ‘en, Penny-gurl. Ye ken th’ rules!”

Duncan slapped his knees in delight, completely ignoring the glare my sister was sending his way. The guy was in high spirits, probably thanks to the empty beer can by his side. Despite his size, Dunkey was a lightweight as usual.

“Fine,” Penny grumbled and got up from the floor. “I’ll do it!”

Hearing that, I picked up the bowl on my right and mixed the folded-up papers inside it before picking one at random. In the meantime, Mountain Girl walked over to my sister and held her sword out.

So, here’s how our homebrew game worked: Step one was to spin the bemused sword until it pointed at someone. While we were all in our VIP room, the ‘adults’ weren’t playing, but instead, they were clustered around the kotatsu table in the back and playing a card game. This meant our truth-or-dare players, sitting on a circle of pillows arranged on the floor, consisted of my girlfriends, my sisters, the childhood friend couple, Ichiko, and Duncan. For some reason. The eagle-eyed might’ve noticed it already, but there was someone obviously missing from that lineup, but more on that later.

The second group consisted of Roland, Arnwald, Morgana, Fred, and Galatea, and they had a frankly alarming number of empty cans and bottles scattered on and around the kotatsu table. I was a little apprehensive about letting them drink so much alcohol, but so far they behaved themselves, and who was I to get in their way of fun? I mean, besides being their boss and/or king?

More importantly, Penny reluctantly grabbed hold of Onikiri in its shroud, demonstrating the second peculiarity of our game. Unlike regular truth-or-dare, ours had an actually reliable lie detector, which necessitated a change in the rules. For some reason. I still wasn’t clear on why, but Judy was really insistent about it, and I didn’t want to argue.

So, here’s how our game operated: I spun the sword, and whoever it ended up pointing at would have to answer a question while holding onto Onikiri. Of course, as I had demonstrated in the past, its lie-detector function was anything but foolproof, but I only told Judy about that… which was why I got delegated to a ‘referee’, lest I would cheat. This, naturally, meant that now everyone knew that it wasn’t a perfect lie detector, but it didn’t stop the girls from latching onto it, and Rinne was eager to contribute.

Now then, here was the biggest change in rules: before we started, everyone wrote a couple of questions onto slips of papers, I folded them up, and put them into the bowl. Then, everyone wrote down a bunch of dares, and those went into a separate bowl. When the next player had been chosen, I drew a random question, just like this, and then after unfolding it…

“Okay, here’s your question, kiddo,” I began, only to pause when I read the words on the note. It… kind of smelled troublesome, but it was well within the spirit of the game, so I decided to get on with it. “Answer me this: Do you have a crush on anyone in this room?”

“W-W-What kind of question is that?!” my knightly sister… well, she didn’t exactly ‘scream’ per se, but it was definitely up there.

“It’s a perfectly valid question!” Angie chimed in, which told me that she was probably the one who wrote this question. Well, either her, or Duncan, since the latter was constantly chuckling to himself.

“Go, Penny-san! You can do it!” the little miko cheered her on from the other side of the circle, but it did little to stop Penny from looking like a deer in headlights.

“B-But this is very personal!”

“Aren’t all the questions like that?” Judy commented on the side, from behind Elly’s back.

“That’s right,” the princess agreed, throwing her hands into the air. “Asking how old I was when I wet my bed for the last time was also very personal, and I still answered it!”

She left out the part where she lied about it, and as a punishment, she had to do a dare where she had to sit in her best friend’s lap for half an hour, but she wasn’t exactly wrong about it. The whole game was about weird and embarrassing requests, and I’d been sure it was only a question of time before this particular one would rear its ugly head. It was unfortunate that Penny of all people had to be the one to answer it, and I was feeling at least a little sorry for her, but I was also just a little bit curious about how she would answer.

“I… I…” She faltered, but upon Mountain Girl’s encouragement, she tightly grabbed onto the shroud and exhaled hard. “I-I mean, what does it even mean to have a crush, am I right? It’s not like I really like anyone! I-I mean, I like someone, but I don’t like-like them, or at least it’s probably not like that, I think, and I don’t even know the difference, and it doesn’t matter, because it’s not like they like me anyway! I mean… I think they probably do like me, but it’s not that kind of like, and… It’s complicated, okay?!”

There was a long beat of relative silence (ignoring the still chuckling Mr. Minotaur) left in my sister’s wake, but before I could inject a comment about how she gave Sahi a run for her money in the ‘like-per-sentence’ department, Rinne solemnly declared, “It’s the truth.”

“But… was that a yes or a no?” Elly spoke the words on everyone’s minds.

“That sounded like a yes to me,” Josh pronounced with a hand on his chin.

“Really? Then who do you think Penny-san likes?” Ichiko chimed in, entirely too excited by the topic, but Josh didn’t seem nearly as invested.

“I have no idea, but one thing’s for sure: since it’s not me, so it has to be someone else.”

“Obviously,” Penny scoffed by reflex, only to cover her mouth a moment later.

“Ah-ha! So it really was a yes!” Angie exclaimed, and somehow my sister turned even redder.

“N-N-No! That’s not it! I just told you it’s complicated!”

“I wonder who it could be…” Angie pondered seemingly absent-mindedly, and it took me a while to notice that she was giving me a furtive look.

“What? Is there something on my face?”

Instead of answering my question, she gave me an enthusiastic thumbs up

“No matter what society may think of it, I’ll support you!”

It took me a few seconds to puzzle out what she meant by that, and since Penny was getting more confused by the second, I gestured for her to sit down before turning back to the weirdly excited Celestial.

“For the record, whatever you’re thinking of is wildly off the mark, so let’s leave it at that.”

“Oh, I get it.” She flashed a grin and then muttered, in a wistful voice, “Don’t worry, I won’t be advertising it. Your secret is safe with me! Ah, the forbidden fruit! It is always the sweetest…”

She continued to stare into the nonexistent distance with a dreamy look in her eyes, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she had sneakily taken a few sips from one of Duncan’s beers. Or was this that ‘getting drunk on the atmosphere’ thing I often heard about? In any case, it was at this point that Josh also put two and two together, and he outright face-palmed before gesturing at me to get my attention.

“As her boyfriend, I think I’m obligated to apologize in her stead. Please don’t hold this against her; it’s not her fault. You see, reading all those terrible young adult romance novels caused her to suffer irreversible brain damage.”

“Hey!”

“Sorry, Angie. It’s the truth,” he continued on in a mournful tone. “I’m sorry everyone had to learn it this way, but don’t worry. As your partner, I will support you, whether you have brain-rot or not.”

“That’s it, mister! Now you’ll get it!”

Before the guy could defend himself, his girlfriend jumped on him and put him in a chokehold.

“H-hey! Cut it out! Not in public!”

Angie didn’t relent, and in the span of a few short seconds, the two descended into an actual, honest-to-goodness wrestling match on the floor. Groaning, I glanced over to see Penny’s reaction, but by the looks of it, she wasn’t paying attention to the childhood friend couple. Instead, I found her being cornered by Snowy of all people.

“…really have a crush on someone?”

“N-No! I-I mean… It’s complicated, okay?”

“If you don’t want the others to hear, you can whisper into my ear. I promise I’ll keep it a secret.”

“N-No way! I absolutely cannot do that!”

“Are you sure? I could help. I-I mean… I don’t have much experience with romance, but I’m still a Seducer, so maybe I can give you some advice?”

“A-Awawa! Stop teasing me!”

“I’m… not teasing you though.” Confused, Snowy glanced at me for reassurance. “Am I teasing her?”

“Don’t worry about it, sis. She’s just overwhelmed at the moment.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Visibly relieved, Snowy turned back to my knightly sister, who was very obviously trying to avoid eye contact. She, in turn, leaned over to establish it anyway, which caused Penny to look somewhere else, rinse and repeat. Was this some kind of game?

Anyhow, I left my sisters to their own devices and was about to announce the next round when my eyes landed on my assistant, still partially hidden behind my other girlfriend.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

The question slipped out before I knew it, and she flashed an honest-to-goodness smug smirk. It wasn’t even one of those ‘by Judy standards’ ones, but the kind even someone without my extensive Dormouse-reading skills would recognize.

“We both know the answer to that, so I’m not going to say it,” she told me, and once I figured out what she meant by that, I promptly rolled my eyes.

As for what this was about, it harkened back to a certain discussion we had about shipping in the past, and as much as I found it annoying, I couldn’t completely deny that something was brewing between my sisters. I still wasn’t ready to peg it as either romantic or platonic, but it was definitely something, and I had to say, Penny calling it complicated was an understatement of monumental proportions.

Still, they were big girls, and I was confident they would sooner or later figure it out on their own. Considering the rate of visible progress, I imagined it would probably take ages, but as their big brother, I was going to support them either way.

However, that was something to worry about in the future. For now, it was time to commence the next round, and I was just about to announce it when Elly beat me to the punch by raising a hand into the air.

“How much longer do I have to sit on Judy’s lap?”

“I was just about to ask the same question,” my other girlfriend spoke up again, and gestured at Elly’s butt. “I can’t feel my legs anymore.”

“Am I that heavy?” my Draconic girlfriend sounded genuinely alarmed, but I cut the topic short by glancing at my phone and telling them, “You can get up.”

“Good.” My dear assistant had more than just a hint of relief in her voice. “How was this supposed to be a penalty for her again?”

“It’s not a penalty, it’s a dare,” Ichiko interjected, and Judy shrugged in return.

“At this point, it’s a semantic difference at best, and doesn’t answer my question anyway,” she grumbled while massaging her thighs.

“All right, guys.” I raised my voice and put a finger on Cal’s pommel. “Next round.”

“Rinne doesn’t think everyone’s ready yet, Leonar-dono,” Mountain Girl interrupted me, and as I glanced around again, I had to agree with her. Josh and Angie were still wrestling on the floor, Judy was busy stretching her legs, while Duncan was… Wow. I wondered why he was so quiet, and as it turned out, he literally fell asleep while sitting. Color me impressed.

“You’re right. How about we take a short break first?”

“Yes!” the tiny miko exclaimed and sprung to her feet. “I needed to go to the toiled for a while now!”

“Rinne would also like to visit the restroom,” Mountain Girl uttered, with an implied request for approval, so I absent-mindedly waved at them to get going. In the meantime, Judy picked up the empty soda cans and bottles from the floor, and after silently counting, she also spoke up.

“We’re running out of drinks. I’ll go and buy some while the buffet is still open.”

“I’m coming too!” the princess volunteered, and as the two of them left the room, I could hear her ask something along the lines of, “Do you think I should switch to diet soda?”

I doubted she had to worry about something like that, but I didn’t have the chance to tell her, so I picked up Cal and stood up instead.

“{Is it finally over?}”

“No, it’s just a short break,” I told them, and the sword in my hand let out an enormous groan.

“{To think I would live to see the day when I would become but a tool of gambling! These truly are the darkest of times!}”

“There we go. It’s been so long since you last said that, I was starting to get worried.”

“{This isn’t amusing at all, young knight!}”

Ignoring the grouchy sword’s complaints, I glanced around. The only people left on this side of the VIP suite were the quietly snoring Mr. Minotaur, the childhood couple still sprawled out on the floor (though they went from wrestling to giving pecks to each other, so at least that was some progress), and my sisters, still locked in a game of eye-contact-avoidance. In fact, it might really have been a game, since Penny seemed considerably less flustered, and she occasionally even hid her eyes with her hands, peek-a-boo style. Either way, with nothing better to do, I figured I might as well take the opportunity to check out the ‘adult’ side of the room.

“Kihihi! Hey, boss! Are you taking a break?” Fred welcomed me the moment I came closer, and I nodded along.

“Yeah. What about you? Do we have a winner yet?”

I could already tell the answer from the relatively evenly distributed chips on the table, but it was only polite to ask.

“Not yet, though we do have an early loser,” Roland noted while collecting the cards on the table, but before he could elaborate, the androidess on his left raised a hand and slapped the tabletop hard enough to make all the tokens and bottle jiggle.

“Shaddap! It wasn’t mah fault, I told ya!”

It took me a second to gather my wits, but then I turned to Fred again.

“Is she drunk?”

“Ah’m not dhunk!” Galatea protested and pointed a shaky finger at me. “Ah’ll let ya know, ah can turn on mah ahcohol-dehydragenahse soubhrutines ahny time ah want!”

“Which means you didn’t do that yet. Ergo, you’re drunk.”

“Nah, yah’r dhunk! All three of ya!”

“… Wow. Just how much did she drink?”

“A little over half a beer,” Roland told me in a dry voice, and at first I was sure I didn’t hear it right, but then Fred also confirmed it.

“Kihihi. Isn’t it marvelous! She can reproduce all the associated behavioral effects with such minimal alcohol intake! Chalk another triumph up to SCIENCE!”

“Why do you sound—” ‘proud of that?’, is what I would’ve asked if Galatea didn’t let out a sudden noise, like she just made a huge discovery.

“I shud borrow moneh from ghandmastah! That weh, ah can get backh into the ghame!

Now, that remark made me raise a critical brow at once.

“Are you betting real money?”

My question made the rest of the people around the table shake their heads just vehemently enough to remain suspicious, and caused the androidess to let out an indignant huff.

“Fine! If yuh don’t take moneh, then ah’ll bet mah clothes!”

She seriously looked like she was about to start undressing, so I put aside my original intent of asking Fred about why she could even get drunk in the first place and decided it was time to draw the proverbial line.

“Galatea. You either sit down, stay put, and kick your metabolism into high gear this instant, or you’re going home.”

She was startled at first, but when I maintained eye-contact, she sheepishly pulled her turtleneck back down and responded with a grumpy “Ahffihmatif,”… and then she unceremonious laid down on the floor, with her legs still under the kotatsu table, and started softly snoring,

I was just about to ask if that was normal, but Fred beat me to the punch by letting out an annoyed noise.

“How come she listens to you, but not to me?”

“It must be our liege’s royal bearing,” Arnwald quipped on the side, followed up by a couple of chuckles.

“To answer your previous inquiry,” Roland raised his voice again, and even as he talked, his hands didn’t stop shuffling the cards in his hands. “In the fourth round, Galatea decided to go all in on a pair of twos.”

“It was a perfectly reasonable thing to do,” she declared out of the blue as she sat up straight again. “Based on the previous cards played, I had an eighty-two-point-four percent chance to win.”

Her voice sounded considerably less slurred than before, but still not perfectly sober. The question on my mind must’ve shown on my face, as after a long beat, she added, “I have metabolized seventy-two percent of the alcohol in my bodily fluids. Is that acceptable?”

“Erm… for now, I suppose.”

She let out a satisfied grunt, then unabashedly took a sip from one of the cans on the table. Before I could say anything about that, she played the party-girl trope straight by letting out a moan of pleasure and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. I was pretty sure that sigh/moan/whatever was also a trope in and of itself, but I just couldn’t recall the name of it at me moment. Something like ‘beer-gasm’?

Anyhow, after she was done with that, Galatea slammed the half-empty can down and pointed at me.

“As you see, grandmaster, I didn’t make an erroneous judgment. I was simply a victim of a statistical anomaly.”

In the end, I could only muster a flat “Sure, if you say so,” and focused my attention on the rest of the group. “Well, so long as you’re having fun, I suppose it’s fine.”

“We most certainly are, your majesty,” Morgana said with an uncharacteristically demure smile. “Playing poker with just us brings back many pleasant memories. It is also much more straightforward now, since the Fauns aren’t around.”

“Hm? What was that?”

My question made Arnwald and Roland share an uneasy glance, after which Mr. Eagle softly cleared his throat.

“You see, my liege… Could you please keep what I’m about to say a secret from general Brang?” It didn’t seem like he would continue until I agreed, so I nodded. “To be frank, playing poker with the Fauns is somewhat… hm…”

“Unfair?”

“Yes, that was the world I was looking for. Thank you, brother Roland.” The corners of Mr. Griffon’s lips bent into a thin-lipped smile, but he didn’t say anything else, so Arnwald was soon forced to continue. “Put simply, their expressions are impossible to read, so we could never tell when they were bluffing.”

“They do have a natural poker face, don’t they?” Fred noted, and the others seemed to agree with his sentiment.

“Really? I find them pretty easy to read.” All of the sudden, all those concurring eyes turned skeptical as they glanced at me. “What? It’s really not that difficult. You just have to pay attention to their ears. Not to mention, it’s not like their facial structures are that different from ours, to begin with.”

“You shee, grandmaster? That’s yer big problem! You ahr always meashuring others with your own yahdstick, and then act aaall shurprised when they can’t do ehverythin you can! You are shooo full of it!”

“Galatea. Are you drunk, again?”

Instead of answering, the android froze up, unsubtly hid her beer can under the table, and then declared, in a mechanical voice, “Entering standby mode. Beep-boop,” and lied down on the floor again.

“… Seriously, what’s up with her?”

My question was obviously aimed at Fred, but instead, it was Morgana who told me, “Everyone is only young once your majesty, and occasions where one can truly feel at ease grow rarer over time. We should allow her to enjoy herself today.”

“That wasn’t the point of my… You know what? Never mind.” Sighing, I glanced over my shoulder and saw that Rinne and Ichiko were already back and in the process of covering the sleeping Duncan in a blanket. “The girls should be back soon too, so I’m going back.”

“Very well,” Roland spoke absently, his hands busy with dealing out the cards for the next round. “Enjoy yourself.”

“That’s the plan,” I responded with a smirk, but it withered the moment I turned my back on them.

Truth be told, I wasn’t a big fan of this whole ‘truth or dare’ thing, whether the original version or our own, but the others seemed to be really into it, and at the end of the day it still was a hot springs episode staple, so I felt obliged to do t. Considering how many slits of paper we still had in the bowls, I had a feeling this game was going to last for quite a while longer, but hey? So long as the girls were having fun, I was always happy to play along.