The Simulacrum - Chapter 105

“Why did our room become the dedicated hang-out spot in the resort?”

My dearest assistant’s question sounded entirely rhetorical at first, but when I didn’t answer, she looked over her shoulder with expectant eyes, forcing me to shrug.

“Beats me.”

Still sitting in my lap, my girlfriend let out a thoughtful hum and faced forward again, and not a second later, the princess draped herself over me from behind, accompanied by a mirthful little giggle.

“It must be because everyone’s feeling safe and relaxed around you,” my draconic girlfriend whispered into my ear, and followed it up with a peck on my cheek. “Either that, or the mahjong table.”

As of in cue, Mountain Girl yelled “Gang!” and snatched up a tile from the middle of the square table, eliciting a frustrated “Tch!” from Galatea. I had no idea what that meant, or who was winning… in fact, I was about as clueless about the rules as it gets. I kind of understood that it was sort of like poker, in that you were trying to make pairs or sets of matching tiles, and you could either draw new tiles from the deck or snatch up the tiles discarded by another player, but that was as far as I got. The whole thing with the dice and the bamboo sticks and the various sets just left me profoundly confused, and while Naoren offered to teach me, I respectfully declined.

Speaking of him, the bespectacled patriarch was also sitting at the table, along with Mountain Girl, Galatea, and Ichiko. As for where the mahjong table even came from… well, it’s a short yet long story, so before we get into that, let’s just establish the scene, shall we?

First off, it was a little after seven in the evening, well after dark, and my room was once again filled to the brim with people. The living room side had the usual suspects, with the Knights and Fred clustered around the kotatsu, except that Raven Boy was also added to the list. Unlike the rest, he wasn’t allowed to drink, though to be fair, the others were keeping things mostly alcohol-free as well. It was probably because Naoren was still around, and they were trying to be on their best behavior around him. Something about respecting their allies or whatnot, I believe?

Now, I think I would’ve been fully justified to question them why they didn’t show the same courtesy to their boss, but I digress. Let’s just presume that the princess was correct and they were just relaxed around me because they thought I was a nice, reasonable boss, and leave it at that. But speaking of her, Elly was still clinging onto me from behind, while my other girlfriend was still sitting in my lap. No changes there.

The three of us occupied one of the beds, while the other was reserved for Angie and Xiao. The little dragon was the main reason why we were all piled up in our room, as it was because of her insistence that our guests decided to stay the night after all. Or rather, Zihao was the one who wanted to stay behind to catch the peeper, just to one-up Josh, and then Odango Girl wanted to stay as well to have a sleepover with the girls, and then Naoren decided he might as well take the rest of the day off and stay over as well. After all, we had the whole resort to ourselves, and there were still a couple of empty rooms.

As for the mahjong table, it was something Naoren brought over on a whim. As in, he asked Mountain Girl if she wanted to play, and when she nodded, he just handed his bodyguards a blank check and ordered them to get a mahjong set within the hour. Considering that none of them even raised a brow at the sudden request, I wondered if such impulse purchases were a common occurrence with him.

“I don’t get rich people,” I muttered under my breath, prompting my dear assistant to glance back at me again with an incredulous frown.

“Chief, you are rich.”

“Yeah, yeah, but not ‘secret owner of a Chinese tech company who buys a master-crafted mahogany mahjong table and gets it delivered via helicopter’ rich.”

“But… couldn’t you?” Elly whispered behind me. “Don’t you own shares in that online marketplace company?”

“That doesn’t mean I can just have them airdrop anything I want,” I told her in return, and she didn’t argue.

“Chi!”

Our side-track was interrupted by Ichiko excitedly throwing her fists into the air, followed by Odango Girl clapping to congratulate her. Was she winning? I still had no idea, but she looked happy, so she probably was.

“Ah, careful,” our resident Celestial chided the little dragon, and after she quieted down, she continued to absent-mindedly braid her hair.

After the two little girls had a soak in the morning, Xiao’s hair was left undone for the rest of the day, and Angie was in the process of giving her twin braids. This, naturally, meant that she no longer had her ox-horn hair buns, so… what am I going to call her from now on?

This question, along with many other equally important ones, had to be soon put aside when my sisters entered the room, followed by the unlikely pair of Josh and Zihao. The younger Feilong brother was wearing the same form-fitting martial artist tunic as usual, while our resident protagonist, curiously enough, donned his Magiformer, with a dark blue jacket over it. The girls, on the other hand, looked like they were about to head to the baths, with towels and bathrobes in hand, and after glancing around in the chaotic room, Penny’s eyes settled on me.

As she came over, she was closely followed by my Abyssal sister. They looked slightly odd, and it took me until they were right next to the bed to realize that they put on some light makeup. That was odd enough, but then my knightly sister stopped in front of me and declared, “We are off to the big pool, brother! We’re going to be bait!”

I didn’t really know what to say to that, but thankfully my dear assistant came to the rescue and spoke my mind in my stead.

“Can you please elaborate?”

“We… are going to try and draw out the peeper,” Snowy explained with a perplexed look that said she couldn’t believe she got roped into this.

“We investigated the area around the public hot springs, and found a lot of footprints around the outer wall!” my redhead sister further elucidated with a proud smirk. “That means the peeper is still prowling around! We can’t just leave such a menace to society be, so we’re going to catch him.”

“By taking a bath,” I stated a touch flatly, at which Penny nodded with an even prouder smirk and pulled my other sister to the front.

“Yes! We need a cute girl to draw the pervert into the open, so I enlisted Snowy’s help!”

“What about you then?” the natural question popped out of my mouth before I knew it, and this time Penny even puffed out her chest.

“I’ll be there to guard her, just to be safe.”

I was pretty sure that, without her equipment, Snowy was head and shoulders above her in raw combat power, but I didn’t want to rain on her parade, so instead I asked, “Okay, I get it so far, but why are you telling us about this?”

Penny looked at me like I just asked something weird, but thankfully Snowy was much more forthcoming with her answer.

“Um… Joshua says that if there are too many people present, it might scare the peeper off.”

“That’s right,” my knightly sister followed her up with a daredevil grin. “And that’s why we’re taking only Snowy to act as bait.”

“And we wanted to tell you about it so that you knew where we were.”

“Yes, that too! We also need to ask everyone to avoid the baths for a while,” Penny added in a hurry.

“So you’re going to pretend to be oblivious, while Josh and Zihao are going to catch the perv?” Elly summarized things, and my sisters nodded in unison. Even though I couldn’t see her eyes, I could practically feel the sparkles bouncing off my neck when she leaned closer to me and whispered, “It’s one of those event-things, right? Right?”

“It certainly looks like one,” I whispered back, then gestured for the girls to come closer. When I extended a hand, Snowy automatically bowed forward so that I could give her a head pat, and I told them, “Don’t overdo it, don’t cause any collateral damage, and if you’re overheating in the water or feeling cold in the air, just forget about this whole peeper thing and come inside.”

“Okay.”

My Abyssal sister agreed on the spot, but when I turned to Penny, I found her standing behind her and protecting her own head with both of her hands.

“Kiddo? What are you doing?”

“N-No head pats in public!” she declared, and after a short standoff, I simply shrugged and retracted my hand.

In the meantime, Snowy turned to face her.

“We should tell the others about it, too.”

“Y-Yes, you’re right!” my knightly sister declared while still guarding the top of her head. “I’ll go tell Rinne and—” She got that far before her eyes landed on Ichiko by the mahjong table, at which point she immediately backpedaled. “On second thought, I’ll go talk to Morgana first. How about you talk to them instead?”

Snowy followed her gaze and walked over to the players, yet before Penny could start moving as well, my dead assistant delivered an armor-piercing question her way.

“Are you still afraid of Ichiko?”

“W-What? No, I’m not afraid!” she declared with an indignant pout like the mere suggestion was offensive. “I’m just getting goosebumps when I get too close to her, and my palms get all sweaty! It must be something about her!”

“Nobody else seems to have a problem with her though,” I pointed out, and my redhead sister directed a wounded glare at me in return.

“Whatever! I’m still not afraid of her, okay?”

“Sure, kiddo. Sure.” Taking the opportunity presented by her getting upset over something so insignificant, I reached out again, and by leaning forward a little, I managed to land a hand on the top of her head. She froze up in surprise and gave me one of those deer-in-the-headlight looks, so I smiled and tousled her hair a little. “Nobody is making fun of you, there’s no reason to get so worked up over this.”

Following those words, there was a nice, peaceful atmosphere of familial love and care blooming around us… lasting for exactly two seconds before my sister threw my hand off with a high-pitched “A-Awawa!” and ran away with the words, “Brother, you idiot! I told you, not in public!” trailing behind her.

I tried to stifle the chuckles tickling my throat, but my draconian girlfriend didn’t share my resolve and let out a long string of amused chuckles at my sister’s expense.

“Those noises she makes when she’s embarrassed are so funny,” she said between giggles, and I had to agree.

“Yep. That kind of thing is kind of cute all right.”

For emphasis, I decided I might as well go for a full round, and gave a couple of head pats to my still giggling girlfriend.

“I can’t decide if that counts as hypocritical humor or oblivious humor,” my other girlfriend mused on the front, and her comment finally made Elly pause.

“I think I missed something. What are we talking about?”

“Oblivious it is,” Judy concluded, then glanced up at the princess’s face, then at mine, and added, “Chief? I can’t help but notice that you have two hands?”

“… Do you also want head pats?” Instead of answering, she tilted her head to the side a little, presumably for easier reach, so I disguised a shallow sigh under a chuckle and used my free hand to tousle her noggin in turn. “You’re kind of needy today, aren’t you, Dormouse?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Not at all. It was only an observation.”

While we were messing around, my sisters finished explaining their plans to the rest of the people in the room, under the impatient watch of the two guys by the door (I didn’t know why they didn’t come inside; maybe there was dirt on their shoes?), and soon afterward the four of them left the suite. In the meantime, the mahjong match also reached its end (apparently), and Naoren collected and shuffled all the tiles in the middle of the table.

“I must withdraw,” Galatea stated and stood up, followed by the words, “I must refuel my reactor. I request liquid fuel consisting of at least two-hundred-and-seventy kilocalories, one-hundred-and-seventy milligrams of sodium, sixty-seven grams of carbohydrates, three grams of protein, and some calcium, iron, and potassium.”

“Hey, swatch at ‘at!” Duncan responded from the other table, as if he was waiting for his cue all along, and waved a beer can over his head. “Thes can ay swally has exactly whit yoo’re lookin’ fur! Whit a coincidence, eh?”

Seeing that the android was about to leave, Naoren looked over at me, so I quickly shook my head.

“Sorry, but I have my hands full, so I can’t join.”

“Can I try, then?” Glancing over, I found Angie raising one hand over her head. “We’re just about done here, and I think I understand the gist of the game now.”

“Don’t worry, Angie-san. I’ll help you!” the little miko offered with an ear-to-ear grin, and before long, our resident Celestial moved over to the mahjong table, leaving No Longer Odango Girl by herself on the bed. I thought she was going to follow after her, or maybe even join in, but instead, she hopped off and climbed onto the bed we were currently occupying before tugging on my shirt.

“Brother Leonard? How do I look?”

I figured she was asking about her hairdo, but before I could answer, Elly beat me to the punch by flashing a huge grin and proclaiming, “Cute, as usual!”

“I concur,” my dear assistant followed her up, so in the end I was the last one to answer.

“What they said. It suits you.”

To be perfectly honest, the hair buns looked considerably more iconic, but at the end of the day, the twin braids fit her just as well. She seemed to be satisfied with the answer, and after sidling closer, she timidly asked, “Brother Leonard? I don’t want to come across as presumptuous, but… when are you going to introduce me to the other dragon you know? You promised.”

“As soon as things around the Draconic Federation calm down a little,” I told her, but even as I said that, I could feel my brows descend on their own and I glanced over at Elly. “Say, princess? Now that the whole thing with the Knights was resolved, do you think we should announce that the old man’s a dragon too? I guess it’s about time he’d stop hiding in plain sight and dropped his charade too.”

“You mean…?” She paused while thinking, then shook her head. “I don’t think so. He’s been acting as a steward for so long, I think he actually likes it.”

“Not to mention, it should be his decision whether he wants to come out of hiding or not,” Judy pointed out in turn, and couldn’t really argue with that.

“Well, next time we’re at the mansion, I’m still going to at least introduce him to Xiao.”

“That should be fine,” Judy conceded, and when I turned back to the mini-dragon, she was beaming with excitement and held out a pinky finger at me.

“Pinky-promise!” I was a little slow on the uptake, as she hastily explained, “Ichi taught me that when you make a promise, you must link your fingers like this, and swear on it.”

I knew what it was, but nodded along like this was the first time I’d ever heard of this, and extended a pinky finger of my own. She happily captured it with her own, and after three shakes, she let out a tinkling laugh.

“Now you really have to keep your promise!”

“I was going to anyway,” I told her, and my hand reflexively moved into a head patting position. I stopped myself just before it landed on her noggin, suddenly realizing I wasn’t entirely sure if this was appropriate to do to a girl who wasn’t part of my family (whether she called me ‘brother’ or not was kind of irrelevant), but before I could make up my mind, he solved the issue for me by pushing her head forward and rubbing it against my palm. Oh well.

After another giggle, No Longer Odango Girl withdrew her head and proclaimed, “Thank you, Brother Leonard. You’re my second favorite brother!”

“Second?” Judy blurted out before I could, and Xiao solemnly nodded.

“Yes. Brother Naoren is the first.”

“I can live with that.” That comment drew a smile onto her face again, which was soon replaced by a frown when I asked, “What about Zihao then?”

“Brother Zihao is gross!” the little girl declared with a huff, causing Elly to start snickering again. She was in pretty high spirits this evening, and whether that had anything with us doing something or the other in the shower before this gathering was entirely incidental and probably not all that relevant. Meanwhile, Xiao continued to fume. “He’s constantly bothering the female disciples back home, and he’s always getting into fights over girls! It’s gross!”

I figured she was at that age when children found romance and attraction between the sexes weird and incomprehensible, but as if she just read my mind, she switched gears and looked over at the mahjong table in turn.

“I wish Brother Zihao would grow up and learn how to court girls like Brother Naoren does.”

Blinking, I followed her gaze.

“… so Rinne still thinks that Nanso Satomi Hakkenden was more influential than Suikoden outside Chinese literature.”

“Lady Rinne, I respect your opinion, but I don’t understand how you can claim that when the Tale of Eight Dogs was very clearly inspired by the Water Margin. Wouldn’t that mean that it is the more influential by right of primacy?”

“Nonsense! Oh, and pong!” Mountain Girl exclaimed and snatched up a tile Angie just discarded before turning back to the Feilong clan head. “Rinne asked Leonard-dono if he had ever heard of Lu Zhishen or Song Jiang, and Leonard-dono didn’t know either of them!”

“My sworn brother, while certainly quick-witted and knowledgeable, is not exactly well-versed in classical literature,” Naoren responded and readjusted his glasses for emphasis. “I believe that if Lady Rinne were to ask him about Princess Fuse or any of the Eight Dog Warriors, he would’ve most likely given the same answer.”

“Rinne… can’t deny that,” Mountain Girl was forced to admit, but then she defiantly added, “Rinne still prefers Nanso Satomi Hakkenden over Suikoden, because Suikoden had a disappointing ending.”

“I believe we have already discussed this, but it simply follows the traditional Qi-Cheng-Zhuan-He story structure. Also, pong.”

“Rinne doesn’t care if it’s because of Ki-Sho-Ten-Ketsu or not, Rinne still finds the ending sad and disappointing.”

“To be honest, on a purely emotional level, I think I have to agree with Lady Rinne, as Song Jiang’s death definitely upset me the first time I read the Water Margin as a child, yet when you look at it in the broader cultural context, I believe it’s self-evident that…”

And on and on and on. Suddenly, I kind of understood why Galatea decided to throw in the towel and moved over to the Knights’ table; I couldn’t make heads or tails of this whole conversation. I gathered it was about a book, or books, or something, but it felt like they were talking about multiple different things simultaneously, and it just made my head spin.

The little girl, on the other hand, apparently found their literary disagreement more than just amusing, and she was looking at them with dreamy eyes, like she was seeing something beautiful. Either way, I had no idea about what was going on anymore, and after checking the clock, I figured it was about time for shenanigans to start happening outside, so tapped Judy on the shoulder.

“Pst. Dormouse? I’m going to check on the peeper-hunters. Please cover for me.”

“Sure.”

After I got her agreement, I sneakily closed my eyes and used my Far Sight. I purposefully wasn’t using it while at the resort until now, because if our theories about the Narrative were in the right ballpark, there was a chance that just being aware of other plots would drag them to the forefront while we were still busy observing our artificial onsen-arc. Since that would’ve caused contamination, we decided that the easiest way to avoid was by simply refraining from using it while at the resort, but this situation called for at least some oversight, so I decided to lift the embargo for a minute or five.

In a moment, my ‘radar’ activated, and I became acutely aware of the red dots in the distance, signifying the marks on my sisters, Josh, Zihao, and…

… Wait. Why were there five dots?

Opening my eyes, I glanced around, but aside from those four, everyone else was still here. Curious, I quickly far-glanced at the fifth dot, and after my vision got adjusted to the darkness, I reflexively clicked my tongue.

“Crap. I need to get involved after all.”

“Hm?” Elly looked at me funny as I straightened my back and unceremoniously lifted my dear assistant off my lap. “Where are you going?”

“Is there an incident?” Judy, seemingly unbothered by the way I moved her aside, turned a questioning look at me, and I shook my head.

“Not yet. I’m going to see what this is about before it turns into one.” By this point, some of the other people in the room also noticed that I started moving, so I raised my voice, loud enough for everyone to ‘overhear’ what I was saying to Judy. “I think I left it in the lobby. I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Take care,” my dear assistant responded on the spot, and our exchange was apparently enough to satisfy the curious gazes around us. For good measure, I gave a peck to each of my girlfriends and then left the room with unhurried steps. However, once I was through the door, I exhaled a shallow breath, and after making sure nobody could see me, I unceremoniously Phased away.

Since it currently wasn’t in use, the smaller of the two hot spring pools were completely dark, with only the stars and the small sliver of the moon providing any light. My target was on the other side of the tall wooden wall surrounding the bath, but since the whole place was built into the side of a steep hill, and I had no idea just how rough the footing was on the outside, I played it safe and appeared on the flat pavement by the perimeter. The air was cold, and I really wasn’t dressed appropriately, but I wasn’t planning to stay out here for long, so it toughed it out.

To be sure, I made another Far Glance, and once I was sure what (or rather, who) I was dealing with, I lightly knocked on the wood panels in front of me.

“It’s Leonard Dunning,” I said in a low voice, and after a short beat, I could hear frantic shuffling from the other side.

Soon, a black figure push himself over the fence, and after a few clumsy attempts, he successfully managed to fling his legs over and he landed in front of me, heaving like he just ran a marathon.

“H-Hello Leonard. It’s me, Mike,” the newcomer announced between labored breaths.

“Yes, I know,” I told him, though to be fair, if not for my Far Sight, I probably wouldn’t have recognized him at all. The wayward Celestial was not only wearing a dark trench coat and military boots, but his face was hidden by a three-holed black balaclava worn with a knit cap of the same color. All things considered, the guy was a crowbar away from looking like the world’s most conspicuous robber. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m looking for you, actually,” he said in a hurry without looking me in the eye, too busy searching for something in his inner pockets. At last, he pulled out a small white envelope and presented it to me. “Quickly, take it.”

“… What is this?”

“I have no idea!” the guy told me, his voice filled with indignation. “All of a sudden my father contacted me and gave me an order. It came from high. As in, Celestial leadership high. I was told to secretly deliver this letter to you as soon as possible. Very secretly. I swear, half the briefing was about how I had to do this secretly and absolutely nobody should learn that you got this letter, or that I was the one who delivered it! Half the briefing! And then when I tried to contact you, I was chased away from your house by freaking ninjas, and then when I asked Ammy about where you are, she told me you were here, so I had to cancel our date and I had to spend half a day hiking to get here in secret, but then when I tried to find you in secret, someone threw a freaking stone the size of a basketball at my head, and then I had to retreat, and then I had to camp outside in the cold for two days because this had to be done in secret, and just… fuck!”

After blurting all of that out, I waited for him to catch his breath, then carefully asked, “Is that all?”

“Yeah,” he muttered, then held out the letter again. “Yeah, that’s it. Please take this, and please don’t tell anyone you saw me. Especially not Ammy.”

“Sure, whatever.”

Saying so, I snatched the envelope out of his hands, and he let out a sigh like I just took a huge stone off his back.

“Finally! Thank you!”

With that, Mike turned around and started climbing the wall while whispering something about how being a secret agent was much less glamorous than he imagined. I ignored him for the time being and took a closer look at the parcel in my hand.

On the surface, it was a fairly ordinary envelope. Clean white paper, no fancy border art or wax seal. However, when I turned it around, my eyes were immediately drawn to the letters in the middle. They were softly glowing in the dark, and after raising the letter to eye level, I could read them with little trouble. The line in the middle said, ‘To Leonard of Dunning, with hope/expectation/reverence’, and under it there was a hard-to-read signature that said something along the lines of ‘Ruler/Advocate/Foreseer Tsephanyah’, followed by ‘Glory/Exaltation to Deus and the Second True Archon’.

If that seemed like a mess, it’s because it was. The whole thing was written in Celestial Script, which was pretty annoying to interpret even under good lighting, let alone in these circumstances. Still whoever this ‘Tsephanyah’ person was, I had a feeling he was probably pretty high in the Celestial hierarchy, and the fact they were trying to contact me like this didn’t bode well.

I was tempted to open the envelope and take a look before returning to the VIP suite, but then the whole hillside trembled from a huge impact.

“He ran that way!” Josh’s voice from somewhere on the other side of the perimeter wall exclaimed, followed by another thump.

“You low-life! You tripped me on purpose!” Zihao’s voice followed after him, then there was a crash that sounded like a tree fell down.

“I told you I didn’t trip you, you crazy bastard! He’s getting away!”

“He’s getting away because of you, you wretch!”

“Who are you calling a wretch, you son of a bitch?”

Instead of an answer, there was another impact that shook the ground under my feet and made ripples on the surface of the hot spring pool by my side. Sighing, I carefully pocketed the letter. I’ll have plenty of time to read it with the girls during the night. For the moment, there were more important things to focus on. Such as beating some bloody discipline into the heads of a pair of troublemakers…

Even after the incident with the ‘mysterious’ peeper, the hangout in our room didn’t run out of steam for a while. It was almost ten in the night when the last stragglers left the place (or, to be precise, got kicked out by Elly, but let’s not split hairs about it). Throw some quick clean-up on top of that, plus the girls preparing some snacks to keep our blood sugar levels up and our brains well-fed, and the clock on the wall was already inching past eleven by the time we all sat down around the kotatsu.

“So, to summarize,” Judy spoke up between two sips from her canned coffee milk, “You literally got the plot delivered to you.”

“You’re being too reductionist about it, as usual, but that’s the gist of it.”

Since this was as good an opportunity as any, I placed the subject of this conversation onto the table. I’ve already checked its contents, and while the envelope had seen better days (probably due to Mike carrying it in his breast pocket for days), the hand-written message inside was on a fancy, over-engineered enchanted piece of paper that would’ve probably survived being shot at by a handgun. The address was still plainly visible on the parcel, though the girls obviously couldn’t read it, and I was surprised to learn that it was written with golden ink I didn’t notice until I took another look at it under lamplight.

“Does that mean the hot springs episode is over?”

Elly sounded a little absent-minded, probably because she was too busy trying to choose which diet soda can she should open, but her question was quite relevant.

“Since we’re heading home tomorrow, I think it’s safe to say it’s officially finished,” Judy noted on the other side, then after a long pause, she pointed at the envelope on the table. “Chief? Did you read the contents yet?”

“No. I only checked to make sure it was safe to carry it inside.”

My response made my dead assistant hum in acknowledgement and she put her half-empty can down before taking out her phone.

“In that case, why don’t we summarize our observations regarding the hot springs arc first, before we discuss the message?”

“Let’s do that!” my other girlfriend enthusiastically agreed and opened up the Grape Soda Zero can in her hand, only to twitch is surprise when her phone buzzed. So did I, and after reaching into my trouser pocket to retrieve my phone, I found a new mail from Judy with a text file attached. While Elly was still fumbling in the back, I opened it up and quickly skimmed the notes.

“You’re dutiful as always, aren’t you, Dormouse?”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“It obviously was,” the princess noted on the other side without looking up from her screen.

Meanwhile, Judy put her own phone aside for the moment and cleared her throat.

“You can read the details later, but to summarize, I’ve found that we didn’t experience nearly enough onsen-episode-related tropes or developments during these past three days.”

“What do you count as an ‘onsen-trope’?” Elly inquired, finally putting her phone down. I figured she was overwhelmed by Judy’s meticulous documentation and decided to read it later.

“The tropes we already discussed beforehand. For the sake of analysis, I broke them up into three categories: onsen-tropes the three of us directly experienced, onsen-tropes the whole group experienced, and outliers.”

“Outliers?” I echoed her with a curiously raised brow.

“Tropes and developments that aren’t traditionally related to hot springs episodes,” she clarified. “For example, Joshua’s impromptu fighting game tournament, or the peeper-misunderstanding.”

“I thought that was a related trope,” Elly cut in, drawing Judy’s attention to her.

“I discounted it for three reasons: the perpetrator wasn’t motivated by the desire to peep on anyone, it didn’t result in any enticing or comedic interactions, and it turned out to be the result of a completely unrelated plot hook.”

“If you put it that way, it sounds reasonable,” the princess granted, and after acknowledging her with a hum, Judy turned back to me.

“In my opinion, we had a good spread of group-related onsen tropes, but we didn’t experience nearly enough individual examples of them ourselves.”

“To be fair, it’s hard to get into any comedic ecchi situations when a certain someone in this room would casually spend the whole night naked,” I pointed out in jest, but it still earned me a displeased huff from my dear assistant.

“Wearing underwear is not ‘naked’. It’s not more revealing that wearing a bikini.”

“Uuu… Normally, yes, but in your case…” the princess mumbled, face flushed red, but when Judy sent a sideways glance her way, she fell silent and pretended to be really engrossed by the nutritional facts written on the side of her soda can.

“Your underwear is beside the point,” I followed up on my previous point and lightly tapped on the table to get her attention again. “The important part is that we’ve already left the UST stage far behind, so there was no opportunity for any embarrassing ecchi events. That strikes like half the tropes off the list.”

“You’re correct in that regard, but it would still only explain half the missing events.”

“The other half are related to playing games and chilling in the facilities,” I said, and the princess’s eyes lit up at once.

“We did a lot of those, didn’t we?”

“Most of those activities fall under the ‘group-related tropes’ category,” Judy explained, drawing a shallow groan out of me.

“Obviously. You can’t play truth-or-dare or mahjong by yourself.”

“Of course I know that.”

“Then what exactly were you expecting? Most of the non-fanservice-y tropes revolve around group activities, and we hit most of the major ones. I Ichiko and Xiao even played Old Maid with the Knights.”

“Chief, please stop misconstruing my issue.”

“Okay, then please tell me what your issue is.”

“It’s the lack of tropes specifically targeting us, instead of the group as a whole. By raw numbers, everyone else had more onsen-related events than us.”

“She’s not wrong about that,” Elly agreed with her, if tentatively, and after I put some thought into it, I also had to concur.

All things considered, the ‘events’ and ‘plot developments’ we encountered were never really centered on us. The fighting game tournament was Josh’s brainchild, Penny was the one who proposed the truth-or-dare game in front of the others, while that whole mahjong-table incident was entirely on Naoren. The only event that was specifically aimed at me was the peeper-incident, but that’s hindsight speaking. In terms of actual involvement, Josh, my sisters, and even Zihao had more to do with it than I did.

“To be fair though, didn’t you two want to avoid them from the beginning?” The princess’s unexpected question made us both focus on her, and she hastily expanded her point. “I mean, when we came over, you said we should avoid triggering any of the tropes on purpose. You said it would contaminate the data you were collecting.”

“Are you saying that, by avoiding being the instigators of any onsen-related tropes, we accidentally avoided being involved in them altogether?” Elly nodded, so I glanced at the other girl in the room in turn. “Dormouse?”

“Sounds plausible,” my dear assistant concluded on the spot. “It would also explain why everyone else was having various nudity-related events other than us.”

“They did?” I blurted out, and instead of answering, Judy tapped on her phone.

“I interviewed everyone, and aside from Ichiko and Galatea, everyone experienced at least one such incident.”

“Even Snowy?” She nodded, so I felt obliged to ask, “Who saw her in a compromised position?”

“Oh, I’ve actually heard this one!” Elly cut in before Judy could answer. “It was Penelope and Rinne who walked in on her while changing. Penelope spent all morning avoiding eye-contact with Neige. It was funny.”

“Only them? Well, so long as it wasn’t one of the guys, I guess it’s fine.”

“Double-standard?”

Directing a deadpan stare in my assistant’s way, I flatly stated, “No. Common sense.”

Meanwhile, Elly finished her drink and gave another try at browsing Judy’s notes, only to freeze up and ask, “Judy! Did you really have to make a list of all lewdings too?”

“While only loosely related, the laid-back atmosphere and potential for ecchi events leading to sexual encounters could be classified as onsen-episode adjacent,” Judy explained herself as matter-of-factly as if she was talking about the weather.

“That’s not entirely incorrect, but if you only collaged our lewding sessions, it isn’t going to be particularly useful,” I commented on the side.

“It’s still a data point, and you can’t say for sure that we were the only ones in the resort who had intercourse,” she argued back and tapped at her phone again. “We can’t be sure until we go home and I individually interrogate everyone.”

I responded with a token, “Do it in moderation,” but to be perfectly honest, unless it was some kind of weird, drunken fling, I seriously doubted there were any such encounters among the rest of the group.

“So, in conclusion, we didn’t get involved with too many of these tropes before we accidentally avoided them, while the others didn’t, and we lewded a lot,” Elly summarized the discussion so far, and after some thought, I tentatively agreed. “Good. Do we have anything else hot spring related to discuss?”

“A lot,” I told her frankly, but seeing how she had been unsubtly eyeing the envelope on the table for a while now, I added, “But first, let’s get the elephant out of the room.”

The princess’s face brightened up at once, and even Judy put her phone aside to pay full attention to said elephant. As such, I unceremoniously picked up the envelope and read the address on the front aloud.

“Tsephanyah? It must be referring to Acacius Tsephanyah, the director of internal affairs,” Judy noted on the side like it was common knowledge.

“Let me guess: you just accidentally came across his name on the Hub’s forums, and you still remember it, because of course you do.”

“You know me,” she answered unabashedly and urged me to read the letter inside. Elly was also getting impatient, so I decided to just bite the bullet and stop stalling.

The neatly folded baby-blue paper practically unfolded itself the moment I took it out of the envelope, and the girls both leaned over to get a better look at it. Unlike the Celestial Script on the outside, the contents of the message were written in plain English (or whatever this language we were speaking was; with all my inexplicable linguistic skills, I was no longer sure about anything anymore), using fancy, flowing cursive handwriting. By the looks of it, it might’ve been written by a fountain pen, or one of those quills made of actual feathers.

“‘I hope this letter finds you in good health. I am Acacius Tsephanyah, acting director of’—” Elly started reading aloud in my stead, only to pause and send a pleased smile Judy’s way. “Hey! You were right!”

In the meantime, I skimmed through the contents of the rest of the letter. It was tightly packed with tiny but neat letters, and flowery language aside, the actual message itself was fairly straightforward and could be divided into three distinct parts. The first quarter was all about very insistently explaining how the writer meant absolutely no harm to me and, in fact, was only sending this letter out of goodwill. In other words, it was safe to ignore.

The second part, which took up about half the message, was considerably more interesting. It was, in essence, a warning. If it was to be believed, some other, vaguely defined Celestial agents would try to make contact with me in the near future, and this Tsephanyah guy (at least, I was pretty sure he was a guy, though with names like this, it was hard to tell) repeatedly emphasized that they, unlike him, didn’t have my best interest in mind and that I should not trust them as far as I could throw them.

That was rich coming from a Celestial bigwig, but then he doubled down on it with the last quarter, where he assured me that once ‘they’ were ready to ‘receive me’ (which didn’t sound ominous at all), he would send out his own men to make direct contact with me, and I would recognize them by the code-words ‘Followers of the Sovereign of the Spear’.

“Oh, wait! I think I’ve heard this one before!” Elly exclaimed and poked the words with her finger. “It was… that thing you wrote for Neige’s brother, wasn’t it? Judy, you told me about that, so you should remember.”

“You’re correct,” my dear assistant said in a solemn tone before addressing me. “I told you, Chief.”

“Yes, yes. As it turns out, the random gibberish I wrote just to confuse Crowey was actually a plot device. Much wow.” She was giving me a disapproving look, so after a while, I amended, “For the record, I’m still of the opinion that what I wrote back then really was nonsense, and the Simulacrum used the ambiguity of the Celestial Script for its own nefarious narrative purposes.”

“Speaking of Celestial Scripts, what does that say?”

At first, I thought that Elly was still talking about the envelope, but she moved her finger to the bottom of the letter itself, and when I squinted a bit, I found that there really was an extra line of Celestial Script under all the hand-written paragraphs.

“It says that… lemme see… I think it’s ‘This record/missive will self-destruct in’—”

Before my brain could process what I just read aloud, the entire page abruptly burst into heatless blue flames. Elly let out a high-pitched “Eeek!”, and even I was startled into dropping the letter onto the table, where it rapidly disintegrated into a puff of smoke, not even leaving any ashes behind.

“Princess, open the window!” I yelled in a hurry between two coughs, and my girlfriends both moved in unison to help air out the place. Luckily the smoke didn’t trigger a fire alarm, but it still took a couple of minutes until the room stopped smelling like burned hair.

“That was… something,” my dear assistant noted as she returned to the table.

“Freaking Celestials and their bloody spy movie antics,” I growled back in turn, and we waited for Elly to close the windows again before continuing where we left off. “Dormouse? Did you memorize that letter?”

“Naturally. I’ll transcribe it later.”

“Good. So, any opinions on what’s going on?”

“It’s obviously a plot hook,” Judy stated plainly, and it took inhuman effort not to roll my eyes.

“Yeah, sure, but I wanted to hear a more Watsonian interpretation first.”

“I think this means that there are multiple Celestial factions,” the princess proposed an answer that sounded much closer to what I was thinking. “They are trying to contact you for some reason, and the person who wrote this letter wants to make sure you don’t meet up with the others before he could make his move.”

“But why did they choose such a circumspect method to communicate this?” I followed her up with another question that felt obvious to me. “If he wanted something from me, he could’ve just written it into the letter instead of dancing around the issue.”

“It’s because it’s a plot hook,” Judy repeated herself, and when I gave her a sideways look, she doubled down. “It is. It’s left purposefully vague to set up a plot development or event in the future.”

“Alternatively,” Elly spoke up, cutting my assistant short, “It could be that they were afraid their message could be intercepted, so they didn’t put any details into it on purpose.”

“That’s as good as an explanation as any,” Judy murmured and then took out her phone to take notes again, “In any case, I think this safely established that our next arc is definitely going to deal with the Celestials. That means we are almost certainly on the Angeline route.”

“There you go with your routes again,” I grumbled and tapped on the table with my finger. “How about we first deal with the surface-level issues, and then try to work out the meta-aspects once we’re actually clear on what’s happening? For example, if we presume that the recent upheaval in the Elysium left the Celestial leadership fractured, why would multiple factions look for me at the same time?”

“It’s because you are one of the central members of the Draconic Federation,” Elly gave the most obvious answer on the spot. “You’re probably the only powerful person on this island who’d be willing to hear them out instead of kicking them out on principle, so they probably want to negotiate.”

“That’s a good point,” Judy agreed for once and even looked up from her phone for a moment. “A fractured leadership with different agendas is potentially the first step on the road of a civil war. Since you already had business dealings with them, and the Draconic Federation is technically a neutral organization at the moment, they could be trying to get you on their side before anyone else could.”

“That was—” ‘unexpectedly Watsonian of you,’ is what I wanted to say, but then she continued her previous thought.

“Based on these deductions, it’s likely that the Angeline route’s main plot is about a civil war where everyone has to pick their sides, and you’re being roped into the plot by this hook.”

“… Of course you had to bring that up again.”

“I did, because you can’t divorce the Doylist reasons from the Watsonian ones.”

“Of course not. They are just explanations for the same events. What I’m saying is that we should first try to understand the events themselves before we start reaching for conclusions.”

“Using deductive reasoning based on established patterns in the Narrative’s modus operandi is not ‘reaching for conclusions’,” Judy retorted in the company of air quotes, but before I could respond, the top of my head received a sudden impact that didn’t receive any forewarning from my precognition.

“Bonk!” Elly exclaimed in an altogether too excited voice, and then I finally got a good look at what hit me when she reached across the table to hit Judy too. “And you get a bonk too! Keep things civil!”

The bonking implement in Elly’s hand was familiar, yet wholly unexpected. It was a long, folded-up white paper fan with a red handle, and while it looked pretty impractical, any self-respecting fan of Japanese comedy would’ve recognized it at a single glance.

“Princess? Where exactly did you get that?”

“Oh, this?” Elly hefted the paper fan with an enamored look and flashed a smug grin. “I found it in the closet back there, and it’s really handy! Do you think they would mind if I took it home with me? I kind of like it.”

“Chief? Are we turning into a manzai-act?” my dear assistant wondered aloud, making me stifle a groan in return.

“If we don’t want to, I guess we better behave ourselves.”

“You better,” Elly echoed me, and after a long beat, Judy let out a shallow sigh and gestured with her hands to get my attention.

“Listen, Chief. Putting Doylism and Watsonianism aside for a moment, I just think you have to be careful with this. We already know that the Narrative intended you to be Joshua’s antagonist on the potential Elly route.”

“We don’t know that; we’re only presuming based on strong inferences,” I corrected her, but then Elly slapped the fan against her own palm, so I hastily added, “That said, please go on.”

“What I’m trying to say is that we already have a potential precedent of you being set up as a villain. It’s not unthinkable that the Narrative would pull the same plot device twice, and make you an antagonist by drawing you into the upcoming Celestial civil war on a side that would end up opposing Joshua’s relationship with Angie.”

“The potential civil war, but yes, I get your point. It’s also why I think it’s important to figure out exactly what’s going on in the Elysium, and not jump to any conclusions, whether meta-informed or otherwise.”

“I can agree with that, for the time being.”

Following that, we both glanced over at Elly, and she gave us a beaming smile, like this concession was somehow the result of her hard work. In the end, I broke the silence by standing up and stretching my back a bit.

“Anyhow, I think we can’t really do anything about this right now. Let’s comb the Hub for clues once we’re back home, and until then—”

Unexpectedly, my words got interrupted by two timid knocks on our door. The three of us shared an uncertain glance between each other, and checking the clock on the wall, I muttered, “It’s almost midnight. Who could it be at this hour?”

The girls didn’t even guess, and since I was already standing, I figured I might as well check it out. I could’ve used Far Sight, but honestly, it took like ten steps to get to the door, so what was the point? So, after walking over and opening it up, I found an oddly nervous Josh on the other side.

“Hey, man. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“No, not really. We just reached a nice spot to take a break,” I answered in turn, and he was visibly relieved. It only lasted for a second though, as he frantically waved at me to come outside.

“What? Is there a problem?”

“It’s not a problem, just…” Seeing that I wasn’t about to budge, he glanced inside, and seeing that the girls were out of earshot, he switched over to gesturing at me to lean closer. That was much easier to do, and so when I did, he whispered directly into my ear. “Listen, I don’t know how else to ask this, so I’m going to be blunt. I need protection.”

“… From who? Is Zihao still picking a fight with you?”

“No, not that kind of protection!” he hissed, and it was only at this point that it dawned on me that the guy’s face was unusually flushed. “You’re the only guy here with a girlfriend… or two… but, I mean… I figured that you would have a few extras on hand.”

It took me a few seconds to parse his meaning, but then the proverbial light bulb instantly flashed over my head… only to be replaced by a big question mark right away.

“By extras, you mean… condoms?” Josh pursed his lips into a thin line and nodded, while I couldn’t keep the pleasantly surprised smile off my face if I tried. “Oh? So you guys are getting to that stage, huh? Congrats.”

“No! I mean… we’re experimenting, okay? It’s not like we’re planning to… you know? It’s just for practice.”

“Suuure. So, what kind do you need?”

“Kind?” he blurted the word back at me, sounding rather confused.

“Yeah? I mean, extra-thin, ribbed, flavored, or…?”

“Just… Just gimme a normal one, will you?”

“Sure thing. I’ll be right back, don’t go anywhere.”

Saying so, I closed the door to a crack and turned on my heels, aiming at the nightstand housing all our supplies. Since I was over-prepared, as usual, I figured there was no reason to be stingy, and I pocketed two whole packs before heading back to the door.

“Here you go, pal. Don’t use up all of them at once. It’s best you keep a couple of them in your wallet, just to be safe. Oh, and make sure there are no air bubbles trapped between the rubber and your skin, or the whole thing goes pop and you’ll have to stop what you’re doing to put on another one, and that’s just seventeen different kinds of awkward.”

“Erm… Thanks?” Josh accepted the packets with the kind of expression that said he didn’t know whether he should be thankful or mortified, and after pocketing them, he awkwardly bid his farewells. “I’ll return the favor another time… or something.”

“Sure. Have fun experimenting.”

I waved after the rapidly retreating guy, then closed the door, and only after I turned back to the kotatsu table did I notice that Judy was unusually busy typing on her phone.

“Did you overhear what we talked about?”

Seeing that Elly was flushed and fanning herself with her, well, fan (even though it wasn’t what it was made for), I didn’t really need to ask, but Judy still answered seriously.

“Yes. I’m already adding it to the hot springs episode sexual encounter list. I’ll send you the updated document later.”

Yep. My dear assistant was dutiful as always. My draconic girlfriend, on the other hand, was still looking restless, but at the same time, she was focusing all her attention on the paper fan in her hands and carefully inspecting it like it was a family heirloom sword or somesuch. What can I say? My girlfriends were kind of quirky in their own ways, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Was it normal to feel completely exhausted after coming home from a vacation?

I mean, I had a relatively good time, didn’t have to use my special abilities at all, and while the girls certainly kept me busy (in more ways than one), I had plenty of time to relax. With all that combined, I should’ve been feeling completely refreshed and ready to bat at whatever curveballs the Simulacrum was about to throw my way, yet the moment I sat down in my usual comfy chair, I felt like I never wanted to stand up again.

“[Hey, boss? Do you need anything else?]” Karukk inquired from the direction of the stairs.

“Nah. Carrying my luggage upstairs was help enough,” I answered, not even bothering to use Faunish.

While we were at the resort, the Fauns took turns looking after the house in our absence, and it was Karukk’s turn. He already gave me a sitrep when I arrived back home, and he just finished taking all our bags to the rooms on the first floor. My sisters weren’t home yet; Snowy was kidnapped by Angie the moment the bus arrived back at the Dracis mansion, while Penny returned to the base with the rest of the Ordo Draconis members, meaning it was only the two of us in the house. Or rather, us and four iterations of the mini-shoggoth scattered around the premises, disguised as household objects, but that was beside the point.

“Thanks for the hard work.”

“[Don’t mention it, boss. It’s our duty.]”

I was ready to leave it at that, but then I got a sudden idea.

“Do you guys have any plans for your paid leave?”

Karukk reeled back like he was hit in the nose by the question, and after his ears stopped twitching left and right, he tentatively said, “[Not really. To be honest with you, the concept itself is new to us, so we don’t really know what to do with it.]”

“Just go somewhere and relax,” I told him off-handedly, but since he still looked troubled, I proposed, “How about we take all of you along the next time we go somewhere? Then you can learn by experience.”

“[I… don’t know if that’s a good idea. I think we would stand out too much.]”

As much as I would’ve liked to deny it, he did have a point.

“Well, maybe not to the beach then, but how about a place where you could hide in plain sight? For example, at a ski resort, we could just have you wear overalls and masks all the time, and tell people you’re a professional wrestling team from abroad or something. It should work fairly well.”

“[I’m… not entirely convinced, but if you say so…]”

Shrugging, I told him, “That’s the best I could think of on the spot. The Kage ninjas would have an easier time, for obvious reasons, but we can’t have you guys out in the open without some kind of cover story. The horns are too hard to hide.”

Karukk was just about to agree, but then I could see the moment an idea crossed his mind, and the mischievous glint in his eyes told me it wasn’t a good one.

“[Boss? You know that the Abyss has the same topography as this island, right?]”

“… Yes,” I granted him, failing to hide the foreboding sense of suspicion in my voice.

“[That means it has the same slopes and ranges too. If you were to take it over, we could have one of these ‘day off’ things in the open any time you want.]”

He crowned his suggestion with an innocent smile that looked downright goofy on his wide face, and after the customary beat of silence, I uttered a curt, “No.”

“[Too bad.]” I thought that was the end of it, but after a few more seconds, he timidly asked, “[Are you sure?]”

“Yes Karukk, I’m sure I’m not planning to conquer the Abyss,” I told him, my voice deadpanner than an entire parliament of Judys, yet he still didn’t get the memo.

“[It’s a shame. You would make a great Lord.]”

“Can we drop this topic, please? I’m not going to become an Abyssal Lord, and that’s final.”

The big Faun looked disappointed, like an oversized puppy whose chew toy was taken away, but I was already tired of this whole argument. For one reason or another, the Fauns openly tried to goad me into officially announcing that I was Snowy’s regent and lay claim on the position of the Lord of House Inanna on multiple occasions, much to my annoyance. Between being a founder of the Draconic Federation, the de-facto leader of the Ordo Draconis, and the head of the Kage clan, I was starting to feel like the player character in one of those open-world RPGs. The kind where doing a side-quest for a faction somehow leads the player to become their leader, and by the end of the game, they have like half a dozen completely useless titles and leadership positions under their belt.

Anyhow, despite my final word on the topic, Karukk still didn’t seem completely convinced, so I wearily stood up and declared, “I’m going to unpack now. When you get back to the base, tell Brang I’ll pay him a visit in the evening.”

The Faun was about to nod and/or salute by reflex, but then we were both startled by the sound of the doorbell.

“[… Were you expecting a guest?]”

“No.”

“[Should I let them in?]”

“A moment.”

Closing my eyes, I Far Glanced in the direction of the door. While the fact they could pass through Snowy’s wards meant they couldn’t be a stranger, it was better to be safe than sorry, and once I focused on the red dot, I raised a hand and vaguely gestured in the direction of the entrance.

“It’s safe. Please let her in.”

“[As you command.]”

While the Faun walked over, I took the opportunity to straighten my clothes and get myself in presentable condition. When the door opened, I could hear a stifled yelp, followed by an awkward groan.

“Apologies,” Karukk muttered in a low voice, but the girl, already inside and in the process of taking off his coat, hurriedly explained herself.

“There’s no need for that. I just wasn’t expecting you. I thought Leo would be…” It was at this point that the class rep poked the head into the living room and our eyes met. “Hello.”

“Hi, Amelia.”

“I’m in a hurry, so I let myself in. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.”

She didn’t even wait for my answer before she returned to the entryway, most likely to take off her boots, and then she marched into the living room with a hand already on her glasses. That didn’t bode well.

As far as appearances were concerned, Ammy was looking the same as usual, including the single small braid tucked behind her ear. Her clothes were modest, as always, and while at first glance she looked like a mild-mannered girl-next-door type, I had ended up on her bad side enough times to know she had a bit of temper, and by the looks of it, I might’ve been about to end up on the receiving end of it again.

I offered her a seat, and while we sat down, Karukk wordlessly slinked away to give us privacy, and based on the direction he left, I figured he was planning to leave through the back door and head back to base. Since we were left alone, I figured I’d start with some small talk, but Ammy beat me to the punch and cut the chase.

“Leo, I have bad news.”

Sighing, I bit back the impulse to answer with ‘Couldn’t you at least wait until I unpacked after our vacation to say that?’, but after taking a few measured breaths, I tempered my complaint into a flat, “What is it this time?”

“The Assembly is coming to the island.”

I didn’t quite get why there was so much gravitas behind her words, and it must’ve shown on my face, as the class rep exhaled an exhausted breath and tweaked her glasses at me.

“I meant that literally. In response to the Draconic Federation forming on the island, the whole Assembly is coming here.”

“Yes, I’ve heard you the first time.”

“No, you still don’t understand,” she stressed as she leaned forward in her seat. “The Assembly only moves as a whole when they are preparing for war. I don’t think things are that bad yet, but it is an obvious show of force aimed at you.”

“… Do you mean me, or the Draconic Federation?”

“Is there a difference?”

“Yes, of course there is,” I objected with just a hint of indignation.

“You might think that, but as far as the outside world is concerned, it’s all about you.” I didn’t respond, only leveled a skeptical look at her, and after a short stalemate, the class rep exhaled a long groan and straightened her back. “Listen, Leo. You have to look at the big picture here. In the span of a few months, you shook the entire world of the mystics with your actions. As far as the Assembly is concerned, you’re an unpredictable variable that appeared out of nowhere, completely subverted the control of the Critias School of Magic on the island, soaked up nearly half of the Non-Causative Science Research Society, have connections to an Abyssal house through Neige, and then on top of all that, you suddenly revealed that you’re not only the leader of the Brotherhood of the Most Heroic Bloodlines, but you single-handedly united the fractured Draconian families practically overnight.”

“I wouldn’t call that single-handedly, and you forgot about the ninjas,” I pointed out, which earned me a scowl in return.

“Leo, I’m dead serious here. This kind of sudden rise is both unprecedented and unnatural, to the point it caused the Assembly to panic and start moving. There are already all kinds of crazy rumors going about you, with being a genius Machiavellian mastermind dead set on challenging the Assembly’s authority being by far the most benign of them.”

“Really? What’s the worst then?”

She gave me a flat look, but when I gestured for her to just say it, she sighed again and flatly stated, “Some say you’re the centerpiece of some enormous joint Abyssal-Celestial secret operation designed to destabilize and weaken the Assembly.”

“I can’t help but notice that both of those are all about the Assembly. Quite self-centered, aren’t they?”

“Leonard Dunning,” Ammy suddenly burst out, one hand mechanically tweaking the temples of her glasses so hard I was afraid she was going to break them. “This is deadly serious business. Don’t joke about it.”

“Fine, fine,” I relented with a roll of my eyes and straightened my back as well. “So, what exactly am I supposed to do about these rumors?”

“You can’t do anything about them, but there’s something else you can do. Please talk to grandfather. Come up with a way to reassure the Assembly before this whole powder keg of an island blows sky-high.”

“You want me to work together with the old man?” She nodded. “You know that after that whole Robatto-incident, we aren’t exactly on the best of terms, right?”

“Can you put that aside for the greater good? Nobody wants a conflict to erupt, so as long as you can show the Assembly that you’re not a threat to them, grandfather can convince them to stand down. Please.”

The pleading gaze she was giving me was making me all kinds of uncomfortable, so I gave up in record time and threw my hands into the air.

“Oh, fine! I’ll go and discuss things with the old coot.”

“Thank you.”

Ammy looked like I just took a huge weight off her chest, and she visibly deflated as she leaned back in her seat.

“So, I figure this wouldn’t be the best time to ask the Assembly for concessions and to revise some of their policies, huh?”

As if a lightning bolt struck her, the class rep sat ramrod straight again and her hand was ready to reach up to her glasses at any moment.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Ah, you know? I was thinking about doing something about this whole ‘homunculus are not properly recognized as people’ thing, but I guess I’ll wait until things would calm down a little.”

“Something like that…” she muttered as her arm returned to her side, and then she exhaled a long sigh that was equal part relieved and exasperated. “It’s really not something you should worry about, you know?”

“Sounds plenty important to me, considering it concerns one of my friends. Well, one and a half, I suppose.” She was looking at me funny, so I clarified, “Pascal is only an acquaintance at best.”

“Oh. So you know about him, too.” Before I could make my usual response, she hastily added, “Yes, yes. Information broker. I know.”

“Yep.” I smiled and was about to move the conversation along when I noticed that Ammy’s expression suddenly turned pensive. “What? Did you remember something?”

“You could say that, yes.” She paused for a while, and I patiently waited for her to collect her thoughts. “So, you told me that you have this clairvoyance spell. I think you called it Far Sight? I presume that’s what you use to learn about all the secrets you really shouldn’t know about.”

Thinking about it, Ammy was indeed one of the very few people who knew about this ability of mine. Keeping track of who knew what was starting to become a bit of a headache, but since she was already in on this particular secret of mine, I saw no point in being coy about it.

“Guilty as charged. What of it?”

“Can you use that power on Mike?” That question came right out of the left field, and after some hesitation, I tentatively nodded. “In that case, can you tell me what he had been doing the past couple of days?”

It took me a long time to properly respond to that, and in the meantime, Ammy was getting steadily more fidgety, right until she cut me off before I could answer her.

“It’s not just idle curiosity. I’m worried about him. We were supposed to have a movie date the other day, but he canceled it at the last second and said he had some business to take care of. After that, I couldn’t reach him for two whole days, and the next time we met, he was covered in scratches and bruises. When I asked what happened, he changed the subject, and I don’t know what to think, so I thought I should ask you about it.”

“Oh, so that’s what you meant,” I whispered as I nodded along.

Sure, it made sense that she would be worried after seeing him like that. While Josh and Zihao weren’t even close to catching him, the sounds of their clash still caused the unlucky Celestial to lose his footing and tumble down the side of the mountain, then he was chased around by a herd of reindeer he spooked on his way down, and then when he climbed over a fence to avoid getting trampled, someone mistook him for a robber and called the police on him. All in all, the guy had a rough night, and I wasn’t surprised he didn’t want to talk about it.

“Don’t worry, class rep. He just got into a bit of an accident while on Celestial business, but it was nothing serious.”

“Did you say ‘Celestial business’? It wasn’t sabotage, was it? Or assassination?”

“Oh, please! Does Mike strike you as the kind of guy who could even do something like that? Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything particularly nefarious at all.”

“You’re right. What was I thinking?” she whispered and forcefully shook her head. “Michael isn’t suited for such things; he’s far too gentle and considerate. He’s like a big, fluffy teddy bear you could hug all night long and he listens to all your troubles without—”

“Class rep? You’re getting off-topic.”

“R-Right. Sorry.” She quickly apologized, then put a hand on her chest and exhaled. “I’m just relieved it wasn’t anything serious.” I attempted my best warm smile to reassure her, and after a long beat, she forcefully cleared her throat. “All right. Those were the things I really wanted to discuss with you. So? How was your vacation with Judy and Eleanor?”

With how she set that up, I was half expecting her to say ‘Since we’re done, I better leave,’ but instead she launched into another topic right away.

“Isn’t that what we should’ve started with the ease us into the heavier topics?”

“No. It is of absolutely paramount importance that you talk with grandfather and defuse the situation as soon as possible. It couldn’t wait.”

“Okay. If you say so.”

Ammy let out a content hum and returned to the previous subject without the slightest shred of reservation.

“So? What did you do? Did things work out well between the three of you? You shared a room, right? I’ve heard you didn’t sleep much…”

“… Aren’t you a touch too well-informed?”

“We texted a lot with Angie,” she told me matter-of-factly, then her eyes lit up like she just remembered something, and added, “Also, did something happen between Angie and Josh? Did they have a fight? She didn’t want to talk about it, so I don’t know the details, but I’m sure something must have happened.”

“You know, I never pegged you as the type who likes to gossip.”

“This isn’t gossip, I’m just worried about my friends,” she stated solemnly, but the curious glint in her eyes said me she wouldn’t leave me alone until I told her what happened.

Moral of the day: next time, I should take her along so that she could experience everything first-hand instead of pestering me about it.

…

I kid, of course. While it wasn’t how I planned to spend this early afternoon, just having small talk and sharing definitely-not-gossip with a good friend, without any mention of the Narrative, tropes, or meta-elements, was admittedly quite refreshing every once in a while. Even if it came front-loaded with news of a boatload of troubles on the horizon, but to be fair, that was nothing new in my life.