The Simulacrum - Chapter 75~ Part 3

The face looking back at me in the bathroom mirror had definitely seen better days, but on the bright side, it was nowhere near as awful as I expected it to be. … Wait, that wasn’t a silver lining at all! Not even low expectations could make me brighten up, so I cupped some water in my hand and splashed it over my mug, and… nope, it still wasn’t looking or feeling any better. It was time for more drastic measures.

One shallow groan later I reached into the nearby cabinet and popped a painkiller into my mouth. I doubted some commercially available medication would help my infernal headache, but at this point I welcomed even the placebo effect. I washed my face again and then closed my eyes. Doing so provided momentary relief, and also allowed me to think.

Yesterday was easily in the top five of the most messed up days I’ve had, and considering it’s me we’re talking about, that certainly said something. That said, as much as my head was killing me, I gained a lot. Now I not only had the support of the sword that would, theoretically, allow me to gain control over the Knights and nip that entire plot thread in the bud, but it could also heal my injured hand. That also had the welcome side effect of giving me an independent option for recovery and thus allowing me to completely ignore the Celestial secret agent on the island.

Well, okay, not ‘completely’, as he was a new variable, so I used my Far Sight to keep an eye on him. Not that he was doing anything special so far; he was mostly just checking out lodgings for rent in the city, which was considerably less nefarious than I expected. But then again, as much of a bad reputation Celestials had in the supernatural circles, they actually weren’t that bad, and for now, I was on their ‘to be befriended’ as well.

But putting the unnerving guy aside, yesterday I also gained an ally in the form of the Arch-mage Saahira, complete with an actual contract and everything. That sounded great on paper, but I wasn’t entirely sure she was reliable, considering that when we parted, the only two things she could talk about were arranging her own funeral and enrolling in our school. I didn’t really mind the latter, to be honest, but I hoped she wouldn’t try to enter our circle and would rather stay as an annoying side character.

Oh, wait. I almost forgot that I gained something else out of yesterday’s madness. Let’s do a count, shall we? One hand, two hands, one Phantom Limb, two Phantom Limbs aaaaand… yes, a third one. This last one felt, for the lack of better words, ‘stubbier’ than the first two, and it barely had a range of about thirty centimeters, but it was undeniably a new extra ethereal tendril thing.

Now, here comes the million Jen question: why did I grow a new one? Just messing around with an enchantment couldn’t explain it, as I did that a lot and didn’t start growing extra appendages, which meant one of three things: it was either because I seriously overexerted myself, because I interacted with a soul again, or because of that weird semi-blackout I had in the middle of the procedure where… I don’t even know what happened. It was just weird and really hard to remember.

I really had to discuss all of this with Judy. Elly too, I supposed, but as much as I loved her, I doubted she’d be able to add much to the conversation. She was too new to this whole meta-narrative thing we were doing. Anyhow, I was just about to step away from the sink when there was a knock on the bathroom door.

“Leo? Are you still in there?”

“Yeah, but I’m already done. Give me a moment.”

Saying so, I hastily combed my damp hair and buttoned up my shirt, and once I was in a semi-presentable condition, I opened the bathroom door, only to catch my sister in the middle of yawning with her mouth wide open. When she noticed, she quickly covered it with her hand, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Did you stay up late, sis?”

“I… a little,” she answered a touch sheepishly, and based on the circles under her eyes, she was probably underplaying it a bit. Once she noticed I was staring at her face, she quietly added, “I got a little caught up sketching. I could do so many different things I couldn’t before, I kind of… lost track of time.” I was about to nod understandingly and step out of the way to let her in, but then she also added, “Technology is amazing.”

“It sure is,” I responded in the company of an amused chuckle, and this time I actually got out of the doorway.

I could hear Snowy close the door behind her as I walked down the stairs, and in the living room I found a strange scene. Ichiko, still in her little girl form, was sitting on the couch with a couple of tools next to her, including several different kinds of cloths, unused coffee filters, some kind of waxy substance in a small metal jar, and even a red plastic bottle with a spout. Maybe even more importantly, she also had Cal in her lap, and she was very carefully wiping its cross guard with a cotton swab.

“Morning.”

My greeting made the tiny miko twitch in surprise, but when she realized it was just me, she immediately flashed me a toothy grin.

“Good morning, ue-sama!” I was just about to ask her what she was doing, but she readily told me by raising the sword from her lap to show it off to me. “Look, look! I’m doing maintenance on Cal-san!”

“I’m… sure they appreciate it,” I answered, a little taken aback, but then I sharply exhaled to center myself and pointed at all the other things she was surrounded by. “Where did you get these?”

“These were all in ue-sama’s tool room!” she told me, and by that, I presumed she meant the empty garage. “I couldn’t find choji oil, but there was this bottle that smelled familiar, and it works just as well!”

“I think that’s sewing machine oil,” I told her a touch absent-mindedly. Honestly, I was a little surprised by this, as considering the track record of my house, I imagined that she would discover all kinds of super-specific sword-maintenance tools in a random box in the corner, so finding something so mundane and actually plausible instead felt like a bit of a letdown.

Anyhow, I shook the strange feeling off and continued on my way towards the kitchen, only to stop right under the doorway as I remembered something and turned back to her.

“You remember that you’re on bodyguard duty from today onwards, right?” I asked, and the little girl on the couch repeatedly nodded her head in response.

“Of course, ue-sama! By the time Judy-ue gets here, I’ll completely take care of Cal-san!”

“We’re still early, so there’s no need to rush. Just make sure you won’t cut yourself.”

The small miko gave me another big nod, and with that, I finally entered the kitchen. My fridge was full, as always, and the cupboards were also completely stocked even though I’ve never bought any ingredients since the day I first woke up. As much as it initially weirded me out, the intangible and improvable yet supremely dedicated presence of the ninja maids became an integral part of my life that I’d definitely miss, and not just because of the convenience.

Anyhow, my head was still killing me, so I decided on a simple breakfast consisting of the unhealthiest looking breakfast cereal I could find on the shelves, and after filling my stomach with a full bowl of sugar-coated chocolate marshmallow bits (who even comes up with these things?), I felt fairly content to start another school day.

Then there was a guitar solo. I directed an ever so slightly displeased frown at my trouser pocket, but since my head still hurt and my choice of ringtone wasn’t helping it, I had no choice but to fish my phone out of it. I checked the caller ID, and after taking a deep breath, I accepted the call.

“Morning, class rep. Is there a—”

“Leo, we need to talk,” the girl on the other end interrupted me with a voice that was both hushed and frantic at the same time. “Meet me at the arcade in the shopping district in half an hour.”

“You want to meet up? Why can’t you…” tell me over the phone?’, I would’ve asked, if not for her immediately cutting the line. She was apparently in a hurry, but when I Far Glanced over, I found Ammy inside the guest room in Josh’s house. She was a little disheveled, but otherwise looked perfectly safe and sound. I checked on Josh and Angie as well, just to be on the safe side, but those two were still sleeping under their blankets. Oh, right. It was still pretty early, wasn’t it?

Anyhow, since the class rep sounded really adamant, I decided I might as well go along with whatever she wanted, so I put my cereal bowl into the dishwasher, went back to my room to get my uniform jacket and my bag, and then headed out. When the foxy miko noticed I was already dressed, she gave me a curious look, so I stopped on my way to tell her, “I’m going to meet up with Ammy. Please tell the girls that I’ll meet them in school.”

“Understood, ue-sama! We’ll see you there!”

I disregarded her overly energetic response and walked into the entryway, and after putting on my outdoor shoes and my usual coat, I braced myself, and unceremoniously Phased away. Of course, since it’s been just a few minutes since we talked, Ammy was still in the middle of getting ready to move out, and since I wasn’t in the mood to wait for her, I simply teleported into Josh’s guest room. I saw no reason to tiptoe around anymore, as both she and Josh have already seen that I could teleport ‘again’ yesterday.

“So, what exactly did you want to talk about?” I opened the conversation a little blandly, but to be fair, my head hurt and I really wasn’t in the mood for theatrics. In retrospect, maybe I should’ve at least announced my arrival, if for nothing else than to avoid the class rep nearly jumping out of her skin and barely stifling a scared yelp.

“L-Leo?! What in the name of Sofia are you doing here?!” she burst out the moment she gathered her wits, but before answering her, I first sat down. As usual, Phasing when I was already suffering from a headache was quite unpleasant.

“You told me you wanted to talk ASAP, so I’m here. So, what happened?”

Ammy eyed me quite suspiciously for a moment, probably hesitating whether to ask since when could I freely teleport around again, but at the end of the day she dropped the issue, readjusted her glasses, and very straightforwardly told me, “Listen, you’re in trouble.”

“… What is it this time?”

“Arch-mage Saahira is dead,” she stated with the emphasis that implied she was dropping a bombshell, and I let out an involuntary ‘Huh.’ in response.

“Where did you hear that?”

“Pascal called me a few minutes ago to tell me. The whole School is in an uproar right now!”

“Really? Wow, I imagined your grandpa would try to keep it under wraps for at least a little while.”

“That’s not the point! Leo, you were the last person seen with Sahi, so if they start investigating, you’re… wait.” Ammy suddenly paused, and after tweaking her glasses a little, her eyes opened wide. “You already know this, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” I told her without any pretenses, and her eyes opened even wider in return.

“Please tell me you don’t have anything to do with her death…”

“I actually do,” I answered truthfully, but seeing the blood drain from her face made me let out a sigh and add, “Don’t panic. She’s not actually dead, and even if she was, I have a contract absolving me of any responsibilities.”

The class rep repeatedly opened and closed her mouth, but couldn’t find any words to say for a while. At long last, she pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and demanded, “Tell me exactly what happened.”

There really wasn’t any reason to hide this from her, so (maybe against my better judgment), I gave her the footnotes version of the events after I parted with them, a few minor details notwithstanding. She listened intently, occasionally nodding, rarely flabbergasted, yet always scowling.

“… and so she said she’d keep the successful transfer a secret until the Assembly politics settle down, and in the meantime she’d stay on the island and enroll in Blue Cherry High. She said that last part was so that she could live up to her part of the bargain, but if you ask me, it was probably just to annoy me and rub her success to your grandfather’s face. The end.”

By the finale, even the class rep had to sit down to digest everything, and after a short spell of silence, she exhaled a lung-rattling groan.

“You know, if anyone else told me even just half of this, I’d call them a brazen liar and a shameless lout, but when it’s coming from your mouth… Sheesh.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at her expense, earning me one of her patented glared, with the menacing tweaking of her glasses and everything. “This is no laughing matter!”

“I’m not laughing,” I told her while completely ignoring the facts, and after quickly clearing my throat I added, “By the way, this also means that whatever secret you wanted to cover up is also going to stay hidden for the time being.”

“That’s… good,” Ammy responded to me, but her words didn’t have her heart in them. Following that, the room remained silent for several very long seconds, right until she gave me an unusually uncomfortable glance and asked, “Do you… know?”

“Do I know what?” I asked back by reflex, but by the time the words left my mouth, my brain already figured out what she meant. “Oh, wait. Do you mean your secret?” She nodded, so I promptly told her, “No, of course not.”

“… Really?” I raised a skeptical brow at her question, so she hastily raised her hands and sputtered, “I mean, you’re an information broker and you seem to know everything, so I thought you would’ve already figured it by now.”

“I admit I’m curious about just what kind of deep, dark secret is worth going through all this trouble for, but if you don’t want to tell anyone, I’m willing to respect your privacy.”

“I… Thanks, Leo. It’s not really a ‘dark’ secret though. It’s rather… personal.” I thought that would be the end of this particular topic, and I was just about to move on, but I paused when I saw the conflicted look on Ammy’s face. I decided to wait and see what was eating her, and after a few short seconds, she apparently came to some kind of resolution and she gestured for me to lean closer. “Please promise me you won’t tell this to anyone else.”

I was genuinely taken aback for a moment, and I could only utter an uncertain, “Are you sure?” She nodded right away.

“Yesterday, when Sahi was about to reveal my secret to Josh, I was really scared, but at the same time, I was almost relieved that I would no longer have to hide it anymore. I’ve been thinking about that moment all night and… I think I want at least you to know.”

“Me?” I asked by reflex, even pointing at my face, yet she nodded once again.

“You’re the most responsible for keeping us all safe, so I think it’s something that you should know. I also think that it would make me feel a little better to share it with someone.” She fell silent for several seconds after saying that, during which I presumed she steeled her nerves, and after exhaling a long, shallow breath she told me, “Leo, I’m actually not human.”

There was another long moment of silence following after that, though this time it was more due to me being confused about her confession. “We know. You’re a Magi.”

“No, not like that,” she denied right away, and quite vehemently. “I mean, I’m not a real Magi either. I’m… I’m an artificial human.” I had a feeling that this was supposed to be another one of those dramatic ‘DUN-DUN-DUNNN!’ moments, but I honestly didn’t get it. She probably also felt my confusion, as she quietly added, “I am a homunculus.”

Aaaaaand no. Still no ‘DUN-DUN-DUNNN!’ What was I missing?

“You’re a homunculus,” I repeated after her, and she nodded at once, and I… I still didn’t get it. “Okay, I understand that, but why is that such a—?”

“Ammy? Are you awake?”

Before I could ask why this was such a big deal, I was rudely interrupted by Josh opening the door to stick his head inside, only to freeze the moment he noticed me. After an awkward beat, he pushed the door wide open and said, “Hello, Leo. What are you doing in our house?”

“Oh, you know? Discussing what happened last evening and stuff,” I answered a little absent-mindedly, feeling more than a little flabbergasted by how the guy could walk into a room with people in it only wearing his teddy bear print boxer shorts while showing not even the smallest hint of self-awareness. Though again, considering how Angie would literally climb into his bedroom every other morning to drag him out of bed, maybe he was just used to being lightly dressed around girls.

“Neat,” my friend stated, apparently taking the whole situation in stride. I figured after all the various mundane and supernatural crap he went through in the past two months, it would’ve been weirder if something like this fazed him.

“I’ll go and wash up! We should get ready to go to school soon!” Ammy declared all of a sudden, and before either of us could get a word in, she stormed out of the room, leaving only the two of us to linger in the awkward silence.

“So… did you teleport in here or something?” Josh asked while scratching his head. “I would’ve woken up if you used the front door.”

“Yeah, I was in a hurry because there’s a bit of a kerfuffle going on even as we speak. Long story short, you guys are no longer in trouble, but things became complicated like usual. I’ll tell you the details on the way to school.”

“Oh, okay then,” he responded after a quick yawn, only to then stop in his tracks and add, “Hey, Leo? Do you have a free afternoon one of these days?”

“I… don’t exactly have a timetable, but sure, unless another incident happens, I could probably make the time. Why?”

“I just want to talk,” my friend told me in an unusually downcast tone, and when I opened my arms, he rolled his eyes and added, “Not like this. I mean a proper talk, with just the two of us. I have a lot of things on my mind and I want to get some of it out.”

“In that case, how about we go to the arcade one of these days, just to two of us?”

“… Why the arcade?”

“I just recently got reminded of it,” I admitted, and after a moment of hesitation, Josh shook his head.

“Nah, it’s not private. My parents won’t be home all week, so how about you come over one of these days and we play a few rounds of Street Kombat, like in the good old times?”

I very nearly questioned when his parents weren’t away, but considering this kind of thing came with being a protagonist-type, I realized it was kind of a moot point anyway.

“Sure,” I told him without much thinking, and to be perfectly honest, I could actually use some winding off like that. I was also a little curious what Josh wanted to talk about so badly, but I figured it probably had something to do with his ‘defeat’ the previous day.

After hearing my answer, my friend gave me a thin-lipped smile that didn’t exactly reach his eyes, and excused himself so that he could also get dressed, leaving me all alone with my headache. Well, on the bright side, at least things were quiet…

“Eeeeeeek!”

“Ah, sorry! Sorry! I forgot you were in the bathroom! My bad!”

… until Josh accidentally opened the door on Ammy as she was getting out of the shower.

“Aaaah! Josh, what is Ammy doing in your bathroom!” came the next exclamation from the neighborhood Celestial. She probably arrived through the windows while Josh was with me, I reckoned.

“Wait, calm down! I can explain!”

“Close the door! Close the door!”

…

Harem protagonists with their stupid (and loud) ecchi events, am I right?