The Simulacrum - Chapter 78~ Part 3

“Hello, Melinda.”

“Welcome, future young master.”

The braided maid greeted us the moment we entered the foyer of the Dracis mansion, and she held out her hands towards us. Josh looked a little confused behind me, but this wasn’t my first rodeo, so I naturally knew that she was asking for our umbrellas. When I handed mine over, he awkwardly followed suit.

“Milady and the rest of the guests are already in the parlor. Let me show the way.”

Considering I’ve been visiting the place every other day, I was more than familiar with the layout of the mansion by this point, but since it was her job, I let her do it and the two of us followed after her. Or rather I did, as Josh was lagging behind.

“Is there a problem?”

“Nah,” my friend grunted, and at first I thought he was still sulking about our previous training session, but when I observed him a little longer, I noticed that he looked rather nervous. He probably noticed the curiosity written all over my face, as he cleared his throat and muttered, “I can’t get used to this place. I’m always afraid that I’d accidentally break something worth more than our entire house.”

“Don’t worry about that. Dad-in-law isn’t petty enough that he would make you pay for it. At worst you’d just get dressed down by Sebastian.”

“… I honestly can’t decide what’s worse.”

“Ah, stop being such a scaredy-cat. We’re already late.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know…” Josh grumbled, yet followed after me with careful steps.

The weather was still crap, so even though it wasn’t that late by the time we finished training in the secret base, it was already dark outside. Combine that with the sound of the rain and the old-fashioned lighting fixtures illuminating the walls, and the mansion’s corridors gained a haunting, borderline creepy atmosphere. I can’t say it bothered me too much, but it probably didn’t help Josh’s already high-strung nerves.

That said, we reached our destination without meeting a single spooky ghost (which I wasn’t disappointed about at all), and the chambermaid leading us graciously opened the door leading into a large and very familiar room. When I stepped in, I couldn’t help but recall the first time I came here with the girls, and especially their impromptu fashion show as they tried half the princess’ dresses with the excuse of preparing for the coming Christmas ball. Actually, now that I thought about it, said ball was just around the corner. Not only that, there was another particular deadline that was coming with it, and while I was no longer as opposed to it as in the past, just thinking about it still made me just a little nervous. It’s going to be a memorable day, that’s for sure…

Anyhow, I exiled any and all such thoughts from my mind for the moment and headed towards the group of girls gathered around the table near the big brick hearth, the centerpiece of the parlor. On one side, we had the class rep and Elly doing their best to tutor Angie, while the other side had Judy explaining things to Snowy and Sahi. In-between those two groups, there was a mountain of textbooks surrounded by a slightly smaller mountain of opened, half-empty bags of chips and completely empty mugs, plus the occasional can of soda here and there.

All things considered, it would’ve been a really cozy sight if not for a certain Celestial girl grimacing in agony like she was a demon at the midnight mass.

“Hi, guys. Sorry we’re late,” Josh greeted our group and hurriedly made his way over to their side, obviously happy to finally leave the atmospheric corridor. Before following after him, I made sure to give an appreciative nod to Melinda. While we weren’t getting perfectly along, it was basic courtesy, and she gave me a small yet impeccable curtsy in exchange.

“You’re not that late. We only just started geometry,” the princess said with a happy little smile, and she unsubtly patted the seat next to her. I sent a glance to Judy, but she was too busy with Snowy to care, so I accepted Elly’s offer and took a seat next to her.

“Only geometry!” Angie cried out all of a sudden, and then she dramatically head-butted the table. Well, fine, she technically slowed down the last moment and only lightly put her forehead onto it, but I was fairly sure that was her intent. “We still have literature, algebra, geography, and biology left! Just kill me already!”

“Stop making a scene and pay attention,” Ammy chided her and pushed a notebook in front of her. “Calculating the area of a parallelogram is almost guaranteed to be in the test, so you should memorize the formula.”

The melodramatic Celestial groaned like she was on the rack, but in the end she obediently took the notes and began reviewing its contents all the same.

“Is she, like, always like that?” the incognito Arch-mage inquired in a fascinated tone, and the class rep nodded without a shred of subtlety.

“Getting her to study has always been a chore,” she noted, and Josh promptly agreed with her.

“Once in middle school, she even escaped through the window in the middle of us cramming for an English test.”

“Boo! Why do you keep bringing that up? It was ages ago!” Angie protested, but it only earned her a few giggles for her trouble.

“Don’t worry. Our windows are warded, so she’s not getting away any time soon,” my draconic girlfriend teased her, eliciting another, albeit slightly weaker, ‘Boo’ from the troublesome Celestial. Or, at the very least, I hoped she was only teasing her. With the princess, you could never know.

In the meantime, my other girlfriend and sister reached a good point for a break, and Judy gestured for me to get my attention.

“How’s the state of the preparations?”

“Adequate.” My short answer was still enough to satisfy her curiosity, though it was expected, considering that I’ve already given her a status upgrade over the phone. “How’s the study group coming along?”

“Also adequate,” my dearest assistant told me matter-of-factly before handing me one of her notebooks. “These are the parts we already covered.”

“Thanks, Dormouse. You’re the best, as always”

“I know.”

“Now, wait just a minute!” Sahi suddenly exclaimed, drawing everyone’s attention to her. “Did you just call her ‘dormouse’?”

“I sure did.”

“Like, I don’t want to be nosy or anything, but aren’t you going out with Eleanor over there?”

“I sure am.”

“Then why are you totally flirting with another girl in front of her?” Whatever reaction she was looking for, she apparently didn’t expect that everyone would be giving her a combination of amused and pitiful looks, so she quickly shrunk back and uttered a baffled, “What?”

“I’m also dating Judy,” I told her, and she absent-mindedly nodded along.

“Ah, that makes sense… No, wait, that, like, doesn’t make any sense at all!”

“If anyone isn’t making any sense, it’s you,” I jabbed back, and of all people, it was Ammy who came to her rescue.

“Leo, you really can’t fault her for not understanding right away. Also, she’s an Arch-mage, so please be civil.”

“No, she’s not,” I pointed out just a touch indignantly. “She’s an ex-Arch-mage at best. Big difference.”

“What does that have to do with Leo’s love life,” Josh interjected on the side, and Sahi nodded along.

“Right, that’s the important question! Like, how are you going out with two girls at the same time? Isn’t that totally cheating? Or is it that ‘cuckoldry’ thing I’ve read about on the internet?”

Ah, yes. The good old internet. Corrupting grandmas in teen bodies since 20XX.

“No, it’s called polyamory,” the princess pointed out, only to pause when Judy shook her head. “Wait, it isn’t?”

“It is, but what we have is closer to polyfidelity,” Judy explained, and seeing that the princess looked quite confused by the term, she added, “I’ll explain it later.”

“Please do. I just can’t keep up with the terminology…”

“… You guys are totally weird,” Sahi commented, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at her.

“Says you, miss legal-loli.”

“Oh, I’ve totally read about that too on the internet!”

“And thus, the internet strikes again,” I muttered under my breath, but it didn’t escape Judy’s notice.

“The Chief is right. It’s all the internet’s fault. For how much longer must we bear its corrupting influence?”

Now it was my turn to double down, so I added, “Yes! We must overthrow its iron grasp on our culture! Let’s form a committee for the eradication of the internet!”

“We must rally our followers on social media and start collecting signatures on petition dot com,” Judy tripled down, and so I decided to continue with a horrified gasp.

“But wait! Aren’t those all things on the internet? Oh no! The internet has already infiltrated our movement!”

“You’re right. Resistance seems to be futile. We have no choice but to submit to our benevolent lolcat overlords.”

“Oh no! Not the lolcats! We’re doomed!”

I intended to leave it at that, but then out of the blue Elly meekly added, “Oh the humanity?”

“Oh the humanity indeed,” Judy concluded with a sneaky thumb up, and with that, the skit reached its expiration date, leaving a moment of silence in its wake.

“… What just happened?” Sahi muttered while glancing between the three of us.

“It’s just a thing they do. Hang out with us long enough, and you’ll get used to it,” Josh noted with a shrug and picked up a textbook. “Can we actually get started with the study group now? At this rate, we’ll be here till midnight.”

“Maybe not that late, but I don’t think we can finish everything before curfew,” Ammy noted, and the rest more-or-less agreed.

“Sleepover?” my sister suddenly proposed, but after some thinking, I shook my head.

“Nah, we can just have another session tomorrow.”

“I don’t think mom and dad would mind if you stayed over though,” Elly commented, and as if by clockwork, the Dracis couple entered the room with their usual gusto.

“Of course I wouldn’t mind!” Abram declared with an ear-to-ear grin, though I couldn’t help but wonder how much he could even hear from the other side of the door. He was dressed in his usual business casual, complete with a fancy bolo-tie (he apparently really liked those). Emese, on the other hand, was wearing an unusually fancy dress and even had her hair done up in a neat bun.

“Good evening, children,” mama Dracis greeted us with a demure smile as she scanned the group, only to cock her head to the side and add, “Where’s the little one?”

The words barely even left her mouth by the time a tinkling “Heeeere!” rang out, and a small, rotund fox dashed out of under the table, eliciting a small ‘Eeep!’ from Sahi… which then turned into a big ‘Eeep!’ when said fox suddenly morphed into a child wearing a red and white ceremonial garment. Note to self: the custom collar with the modified Magiformer enchantment was working as intended. Ask Judy to remind me to pat myself on the back for a job well done.

“W-What is she?!” the brown girl exclaimed, drawing everyone’s attention to her. Well, except for mom-in-law’s, as she was too busy patting Ichiko’s head.

“She’s just a several hundred years old sword spirit in a Chimera,” I told her like it was the most obvious thing in the world, and the incognito Arch-mage looked at me like I was a madman.

“Like, a ‘Chimera’ Chimera?”

“Sure. Is there any other kind?”

Sahi opened and closed her mouth a few times while trying to figure out how to react to that, but before she could formulate a response, Josh reiterated himself by saying, “You’ll get used to it,” with just a hint of schadenfreude in his voice.

In the meantime, Abram came over to me and patted me on the shoulder before leaning closer and whispering, “So, son? I think I more or less know the rest, but who’s the noisy girl with the big nose?”

“New transfer student. Used to be an Arch-mage. I helped her body-swap, now she’s indebted to me and sticking around. Kind of annoying and nosy but mostly harmless.”

The Dracis patriarch sent a not at all sneaky glance at the subject in question, and when he looked back at me, he let out a jaunty whisper, followed by, “Son, you really get around.”

“That’s a very odd way of putting it,” I whispered back, but then took a deep breath and spoke up. “Listen, guys, I have something to discuss with Abram here, so how about we take a break?”

“Aren’t we already taking one?” Snowy noted on the side, and when I directed a glance at her, she hastily added, “I-I mean, we aren’t studying now.”

“You… are technically correct. In that case, let’s just say we make the break a little longer.”

“I’m for it!” Angie, obviously, agreed with me on the spot.

As for the rest, they either picked up some snacks, or as in the case of the class rep and my girlfriends, they went to the restroom. Emese, in the meantime, flagged down my sister and they were discussing something girly while simultaneously spoiling Ichiko. That left me with…

“Hey? What are you going to discuss?”

… a nosy ex-Arch-mage refusing to get a clue.

“It’s about a confidential operation,” I told her, but the clue still completely eluded her as she nodded along in complete obliviousness.

“Oh, I’m totally good at those! Do you want me to lend a hand?”

I eyed her for a second to see if that was a pun, but she looked entirely serious. My gut reaction was to tell her no, but then again, she did promise me unconditional support, and having an extra pair of hands wouldn’t help. Also, for the record, that wasn’t a pun either.

“What are you talking about?” came the next question from Abram, and after a long moment of consideration, I took out two pieces of paper from my bag and handed them over to these two.

“Just read it, but don’t speak any of this aloud. Once you get to the end of it, just tell me whether you’re in. Yes or no.”

Sahi looked a little taken aback at first, but when the big guy took it from me without any reservations, she also received her copy. Or rather, the backup copy I had which I originally didn’t intend to give to anyone, but that’s beside the point. The further she read, the more baffled she looked, but in contrast to her, Abram’s expression became more excited and vicious the further he got.

“I’m in,” he declared the moment he reached the end of the page, but then he leaned closer to whisper, “But son, are you sure about the last part? About the prisoners?”

“Yes. It’s very important.”

Papa Dracis didn’t look entirely happy about it, but he probably concluded that it couldn’t be helped and nodded along anyway. Meanwhile, Sahi also finished reading and handed her paper back to me with a difficult expression.

“Like, this all sounds really weird, but I wanted to test the limits of this body anyway, so I’ll help.”

“That’s good to hear. Also, let me stress this again: keep this a secret, and don’t talk about it with anyone.”

The two of them nodded in unison, and before long the girls returned, the Dracis couple pestered us a bit more, and we eventually started studying for real. More importantly, while I originally didn’t plan on getting Sahi involved with my business more than necessary, leaving a useful asset like her unexploited was also a bit wasteful, so maybe her elbowing her way into my plan was a good thing. I mean, as unassuming as the girl was on the surface, she had the soul, experience, and expertise of an actual Arch-mage in her. If nothing else, she should be handy to have around during a brawl.

…

Okay, I admit, that was an actual pun. Cut me some slack; this was a long day, and it was far from over. I haven’t even reviewed my algebra notes yet…