The Simulacrum - Chapter 79~ Part 1

The morning commute to school. It was one of those classic backdrop things that you couldn’t help but take for granted after a while, like brushing your teeth before you go to bed. It was one of the more relaxed parts of my day too; half an hour of easygoing fun with the guys before one more day spent trying to memorize mathematical formulae and dates we won’t ever use for the rest of our lives.

Honestly speaking, it was a small wonder none of the guys ever questioned why we kept attending school, considering all the absolute, over-the-top zaniness that surrounded us on a daily basis. I mean, listen to this: two guys, a not-angel, a not-demon, a dragon girl, and a tiny shape-shifting fox hidden in a girl’s shadow walk into a school. Sounds like the premise of a really tortured joke, doesn’t it? And that didn’t even include the school being a secret headquarters of a bunch of wizards by any other name!

However, there was a very pragmatic reason why the school was, and in a sense had to be, a very integral part of our lives. In fact, there were multiple reasons even. The Watsonian one was that we were minors, and thus we had to attend because it was the law. The Doylist explanation was also pretty straightforward: this was a supernatural school life battle harem kind of setting. Taking the ‘school’ part out of it would’ve shifted the genre, so attending was important for keeping things stable.

Speaking of stability, it was kind of sad to admit it, but the school was by far the most normal and mundane part of our lives, and in a sense, it was what anchored us into human society. Attending school like this, every morning, was our way to reaffirm our place in the world and avoid sliding into its underbelly full of supernatural secret societies, conspiracies, and random battles.

“… and that’s the reason why we have to study for the exams.”

“Yes, I get that, but do we really have to have another study meeting tomorrow too? Do we really?”

“Whether or not you’re giving me the puppy eyes, we still have to,” I told the Celestial girl a tad morosely. “Also, pay attention ahead. You’re about to hit a lamppost.”

While Angie turned around and grumblingly avoided a classic slapstick situation in the waiting, I let out a small sigh and also pulled Judy out of the way, as she was once again too busy poking her phone to pay attention to the road. In the meantime, the sulking Celestial returned to her still slightly awkward childhood friend’s side. By the time she got there, she also somehow concluded that this was all his fault. I decided that getting involved with their quarrel was counter-intuitive, so I pretended I didn’t see it happening, and by looking away, I just caught my sister putting a hand in front of her mouth to hide an enormous yawn.

When she noticed I was looking, she shuddered for a moment and sheepishly averted her eyes, but it was times like this when I had to put aside my big-brotherly tendencies and focus on being her unofficial guardian instead, so I loudly cleared my throat to get her attention again.

“Sis? What did I tell you about staying up late?”

The moment I said that, Snowy conspicuously averted her eyes, which was as good as an outright admission of guilt in my book.

“I… was looking up reference images for something I was drawing, and I lost track of time.”

“Oh? What were you drawing? Was it something cool?”

Oh, look at that. Angie already bounced back. That was unexpectedly quick even by her standards. More importantly though, Snowy scrunched up her brows, seemingly finding the question hard to deal with.

“Maybe a little cool, I think? It was about a Chinese dragon and a western dragon snarling at each other on a pagoda, and I was looking up architectural reference for that.”

“That kind of sound like an album cover,” Josh noted on the side, and he took the words right out of my mouth, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t voice my other suspicions.

“Did the princess ask you to make it?”

“Yes, she did,” my sister meekly admitted. “She said I didn’t have to make it right away, but she bought me the computer, so I wanted to do a really good job, but then before I knew it, it was past curfew.” At this point she sneaked a peek at me, then quietly added, “Sorry, It won’t happen again.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, but make sure you mind the time. The exams are coming up, and your brain can’t function without sleep.”

“That’s funny when it’s coming from you,” Judy commented on the side, without looking up from her phone.

“Yeah, I realized it by the time I said it.” My words earned me a few curious glances from the others, but I ignored them for the time being and focused on the girl walking by my side. “Say, Dormouse? You’ve been typing like mad for a while now. What exactly are you doing?”

“Can’t help it, Chief. Someone’s wrong on the internet.”

“… There’s always someone wrong on the internet. Do you plan on typing till the heat death of the universe?”

“No. Just until this heretic mends his or her ways.”

“…… Okay, do I even want to know what you’re arguing about?”

“I don’t know if you do, but for the records, it’s condiments.” When my expression only became more confused at her explanation, she flashed her phone at me and added, “It’s a cooking forum.”

“Neat. Type along then,” I told her with just a hint of resignation in my voice, but then I quickly exiled the topic from my mind when I noticed a blonde comet coming our way from just around the next corner.

“Good morning!” the princess greeted us, and while she wasn’t exactly heaving, I could clearly see a few drops of sweat on her forehead.

“And here’s the culprit,” I jested, and my draconic girlfriend suddenly froze up and glanced around, forcing me to used my free hand to point at her and say, “No, I mean you.”

“Me?”

She tried to point at herself in turn, but she was wearing one of those two-fingered winter glove things, so I could only infer what she tried to do from her body language. Speaking of which, she also had a thick felt coat over her winter uniform and long boots. Sure, this morning was especially chilly, with the temperature hovering somewhere around the freezing point, but I was under the impression that Draconian physiology didn’t really care about the elements. She didn’t look sick though, so I filed this observation under ‘another princessy quirk’ and moved on.

“Yes. You’re our prime suspect in the ‘who made Snowy stay up all night’ case. What do you have to say in your defense?”

Elly looked just a touch flabbergasted for a moment, but before she could even gather her wits, Angie cut in with sparkling eyes.

“Oh, oh! Are we doing an interrogation? Can be I the bad cop? I always wanted to be the bad cop!”

“You’re too nice to be the bad cop,” Josh quipped on the side with a deadpan delivery that put even Judy to shame.

“Boo! I boo at ye! From hell’s heart I boo at ye! Consider yerself booed! Boooooo!”

While the childhood friends had one of their customary spats, Snowy sneakily explained what was going on to the confounded princess, and she soon turned a disapproving frown my way.

“That was for the company. It’s for the next single of Niddhog, and I told dad that I wanted to give an artist I know a chance. I’m just trying to help Neige establish her foothold in the industry.”

“She can establish herself after the exam period,” I pointed out, which resulted in a scathing, though at the same time kind of adorable, pout.

However, before the topic could gather any steam, my other girlfriend suddenly flagged her down and gestured for the princess to come closer.

“Yes?”

“Look at this.”

Saying so, Judy showed her the phone in her hands, and after a few seconds, Elly’s eyes opened wide like saucers.

“Mustard?! Are they mad?!”

“I know. That was my first reaction too,” my dearest assistant agreed with a solemn nod, at which point I proceeded to completely tune them out. I had a feeling that showing any interest in the topic would result in some kind of crazy sidetrack, so I faced forward, put on my ‘going to school’ face, and paddled along.

It was like this that we soon reached the school gates. After getting inside, changing our shoes, and just a short Far Glance, I gathered up all the guys near the stairwell.

“You go ahead. I have to talk with the Knight girl first, so I might be a little late.”

“The duel location?” Judy guessed, and I nodded back right away.

“Yep, the duel location. It shouldn’t take too long, but in case things get dragged out and Mrs. Applebottom would be looking for me, tell her I’m at the nurse’s or something.”

“Be careful,” Elly told me in the company of a small peck on my cheek, her previous sulky mood completely gone after her long discussion with Judy about the proper use of condiments. Still didn’t know the details, still didn’t care.

More importantly, I bid my farewell, on my way I ran into and briefly greeted Sahi while passing by her on the first-floor hallway. She was searching for something or someone, but she was accompanied by her minions (read: the four creepy amigos from my class), so I didn’t linger for long and quickly headed for my target. At the moment she was… well, how should I put this? She kind of looked like a stalker, except she wasn’t stalking anyone. Instead, she was hiding around the corner and very conspicuously peeking into the hallway leading to my classroom. Needless to say, even if I didn’t know she was of the dastardly knight persuasion, I would’ve found her very suspicious.

By the way, she didn’t notice me yet, because I purposefully went the long way, using the stairwell at the back of the building, to approach her from behind. As for why I bothered…

“Morning!”

My greeting resulted in the exact reaction I was expecting. Miss Unicorn shuddered with a loud ‘Kyaaa!’ and jumped back like she just met an especially friendly poltergeist. However, once the first shock passed, she hurriedly glanced around and then scampered over to my side.

“Brother! What are you doing here?” she hissed with a nervous twitch, and probably even she understood that her question was kind of silly, as she soon turned red and rephrased it as, “M-Mo-More importantly, where were you yesterday?”

“It’s a long story, maybe I’ll tell you later. Listen, I came to talk about the Arbitration.”

“Oh. Did you reconsider?”

“No, not at all. I’ve got my witness and my preparations in order, so I’m just here to inform you about the location of the duel.”

“Wait, wait! You… You actually want to go through with it?”

“Well, of course,” I answered with just a hint of confusion.

“But, wait, no, but, no… I thought you would reconsider after thinking it through!”

“I’m sorry to say, but that’s not really an option. It’s an Arbitration we’re talking about here. I thought you were clear on the rules.”

“I am! I really am! The rules say you can just admit you were wrong and cancel the duel!”

“Yes, but doing so would mean I’d have to break up with my girlfriend, which isn’t going to happen.”

On closer look, she looked a bit shaken by my words. In fact, now that thought back on it, I was busy yesterday, so I wasn’t keeping a close watch on her, but even so, I couldn’t remember seeing her training with Sir Griffon. At the time I thought she was just overconfident, but maybe she thought I didn’t come to school because I was freaked out about the Arbitration, and now that I showed up, I caught her flat-footed? It was worth a question, so I asked.

“By any chance, did you think I already gave up just because I wasn’t here yesterday?”

“N-No?”

Her response sounded suspiciously like a question, and the way she was averting her eyes didn’t give it any extra credibility either.

“You know, if you don’t want to fight me, you can always just cancel it on your end,” I proposed mostly just to keep up appearances, as I was pretty sure she wasn’t going to do so.

“No, I can’t do that.”

“Figures. I guess you aren’t going to hear me out either, huh?”

“No, I can’t!” That was already an odd reaction, but then she went ahead and even plugged her ears, which certainly raised my weirdness-o-meter by a notch. “If I listen to you, you’re going to explain everything, and it will make perfect sense, and it will make me agree with you, and I can’t agree with you, so I can’t listen to you!”

“Wait, so you think I’ll make sense and be able to convince you, and that’s why you don’t want to hear me out? Isn’t that the same as admitting that I’m probably right and you’re just being obstinate?”

“I can’t hear you! I can’t hear you!”

“Ugh, fine,” I gave up with a stifled groan and grabbed hold of her hands to unplug her ears. “However, if you can’t hear me, I can’t tell you about the site of the duel.”

“A-Awawa… That’s… a fair point,” she grudgingly admitted and let down her arms.

“Tomorrow, seven in the evening, in the Timaeus Municipal Park, at the clearing about two hundred meters west from the newspaper stand.” For a second or two I waited for her to acknowledge my words, but the longer I waited, the more it felt like her expression said I might as well have been talking in a foreign language. “What? Is there a problem with that?”

“I don’t know where that is,” she readily admitted, though not without first flushing red to the tip of her ears.

“You know where the park is, right?” After some consideration, she shook her head, eliciting a drawn-out sigh from me. “Seriously? What kind of groundwork did you do in the city if you don’t even know that? Wait a moment, I’ll show it on the map.”

Saying so, I took out my phone, and the moment I did so, the girl’s eyes lit up like a middle-class neighborhood just before the holiday season.

“Is… Is that a Pearfone XI-Active Pro?”

“I… suppose?” Honestly speaking, I wasn’t sure. Back then I just bought this one because it was the best rugged smartphone the store had in stock, and I didn’t really pay a lot of attention to it, yet she was looking at it like it was the best thing since sliced bread.

“Is it the model with the quad-lens underwater camera? With optical zoom?”

I had no idea about what she was talking about, but it was easy to check, so I turned the phone around.

“One, two, three, four lenses. That checks out,” I said, and somehow she became even more excited.

“Wow! That’s so cool!”

“Maybe, but focus,” I reprimanded her before she could reach out to it and turned the phone screen-up again, and after just a few short seconds, I had the map of Timaeus on it. “See, here’s the school, and this is the park. The spot I’m talking about is around here, near where these two footpaths meet, and are you even paying any attention?”

“Huh? Y-Yes, of course! Where the two footpaths meet. Got it, but… Why’s the screen scratched up like that?”

That was a bit of a non-sequitur, but on closer look, there indeed were a few small scratches on the glass. It wasn’t exactly a big deal, so I dismissed her by blandly stating, “I guess it got a little battered during the scuffle with the Chimera. It still works fine, so I don’t think it really matters.”

“Oh, I… Wa-Wait, hold on! Did you really fight a Chimera?!”

“Yes.”

“I thought that was just a rumor!”

“No.”

“B-But if it isn’t…” Whatever she originally wanted to say trailed into silence, and then she suddenly took a step back and declared, “I have to discuss matters with my witness, so if you excuse me—”

“Oh no, you don’t,” I responded at once and, just as she was about to take off, I grabbed her by the back of her collar, and she immediately let out a panicked ‘Hauu!’ in response. First things first I closed my eyes and exhaled hard to get rid of the strange sense of déjà vu, and once it was under control, I pulled on her a little more until she turned around to face me again. “Listen, kiddo. You came to this school, you enrolled in this school, you play by the rules of this school and act like a schoolgirl until the very end. Are we clear?”

“Y-Yes. I understand, I won’t blow my cover, but—”

“No buts. Now, go to your classroom before the bell rings and behave yourself.”

“Yes, big brother…”

She sounded less than enthusiastic, but after dragging her feet for a while, she obediently headed to the stairwell. I kept an eye on her (through Far Sight, naturally), just to be safe, and let out a small breath of relief when she entered the classroom. Based on her reaction, I’d bet my pancreas that she really wanted to go back to their base and practice, so stalling that by half a day was beneficial to me. Also, it was the right thing to do for a law-abiding citizen. Insert long-winded self-righteous monologue about how kids belong in schools here.

Seriously though, this girl was certainly a handful. She’s lucky she was at least a little cute, otherwise…

“Ack, there we go again,” I grumbled as I hit my temple with the heel of my hand. “What’s wrong with my head nowadays?”

While I did that though, I noticed a marked decrease in the density of placeholders in the hallway, which told me that classes would start at any second. That, of course, meant that I’d better get inside as well before the teacher shows up.

“I wonder if I considered Elly cute because she tugged at some lost memories of this alleged sister of mine, or if I find her just a tiny bit cute because she reminds me of the princess…?” I murmured under my breath as I walked inside and sat down behind my desk.

“Is there a problem?” the blonde Draconian on my mind inquired the moment my butt touched the chair, and when I raised a brow in return, she clarified her question with, “You look distracted. Was there some kind of complication with the accursed Knight?”

“Oh, you mean that? Nah, it’s good. It’s just that… I’m kind of considering one of those ‘chicken or the egg’ questions at the moment…”