The Simulacrum - Chapter 81~ Part 3

“We have a toilet!”

Penny’s excited words raised a couple of intrigued brows in the spacious guest room of the Dracis mansion.

“I expected as much,” Roland noted while absently airing the bedding of one of the two beds. By now, both of them were out of their armours and wearing the same style of tracksuit as their colleagues. “This really does feel like a four-star hotel, doesn’t it?”

“It does!” the Knight girl exclaimed and made her way over to him. “The bathroom even has these tiny soap bars and packets of shampoo.”

“Is this how staying in a four-star hotel might feel like?” Mr. Eagle spoke from the comfortable folds of a large massage chair in the corner. “I can’t say I’ve ever had the fortune to experience this kind of hospitality before, but I believe I could get used to it.”

They weren’t exaggerating. While the place was slightly less lavish than the family’s living area, it was still impressive, and the room was equipped with everything, from a wide-screen TV to their own little kitchen and bathroom. In a way, it was closer to one of those micro-apartments than a traditional guest room, but they certainly couldn’t complain.

“Stoap playing around! Penny-gurl? Hae ye checked th’ room fur bugs? ”

Hearing the big guy’s question made my alleged sister stop fluffing the pillows and glance at the corners.

“I can’t do much without my helmet, but I don’t think anyone’s watching us.”

“Guid enaw. Noo stoap messing wi’ th’ kips ‘n’ come ‘ere. We hae tae figure oot howfur tae ascape. ”

“Escape?” the man with the epic sideburns asked with a raised brow, though he didn’t actually get out of the massage chair. “What do you mean?”

“Whit dae ye mean wha dae ah mean? We need tae break oot o’ ‘ere ‘n’ regroup. Howfur aboot this? Foremaist ah create a stramash ‘n’ draw thair attention. Penny-gurl, ye’ll uise th’ opportunity tae escape thro’ th’ windae, ‘n’ th’ rest o’ us will—”

“No, Brother Duncan, you misunderstood,” Mr. Eagle cut in and finally sat up properly. “I asked what you mean by escaping. How could we escape captivity when we aren’t held captive?”

“Dinnae tell me ye actually ate th’ drivel Leonard wis feeding us! Ur oot o` yer minds? We mist git awa’ fae ‘ere while th’ wyrmbloods hae thair guard doon!”

“Our liege told us to stay here,” the Eagle Knight pointed out as he finally got out of the chair. “Going against his will would break our Oath.”

“Bollocks! Ah dinnae accept his claim, ‘n’ a wullnae lay oor bides intae th’ hauns o’ th’ wyrmbloods!”

“Duncan, you’re acting irrational,” Roland said, and received a thunderous glare in return.

“A’m acting irrational? Keek at ye! We wur captured, pult aff o’ oor gear, ‘n’ locked up in this room, ‘n’ ye act lik’ ye’r guests!”

“The door isn’t locked,” Penny pointed out, and when the big guy looked at her, she quickly clarified, “I checked. There was only a maid in the hallway, and I asked her about the restroom.”

“Whit? Then how come urr ye aye ‘ere !?”

“… Because I we have a toiled over there? Didn’t I mention that already?”

“Na, ah mean…” It was around this point that Mr. Minotaur finally calmed down and looked over his comrades one at a time. “Na fockin’ wey. Dae ye fowk actually hawp a’ that mince? Urr ye aff yer heids!?” The room remained silent, so he continued with, “We’ve gart an oath! Tae dedicate uir li’es tae th’ cause! Tae flin’ th’ wyrmbloods’ yoke aff th’ neck o’ homanity, nae tae tak’ it up an’ wear it! Ah didne spend years in trainin’ jist tae become their dug!”

“Leo’s proposal didn’t sound that bad,” Penny spoke up, only for the big guy to snap at her.

“O’ coorse ye say that, Penny-gurl! Ye’r taking his side fur he’s yer brother, bit whit’s yer excuse? ”

The question was obviously aimed at the men in the room, and the Eagle Knight readily answered, “I’m following the lead of our liege, Brother Duncan. It’s as simple as that.” He might have thought that self-explanatory, but when Mr. Minotaur kept glaring at him, he exhaled a soft breath and told him, “Brother, I’m sure you must’ve also seen the writing on the wall. Our brotherhood has been on the verge of falling apart ever since the loss of the Hong Kong chapterhouse. We are in dire need of strong leadership and a unified vision. Now that we have our liege once again, and he possesses both of these qualities, it’s our duty to follow him.”

“I more or less agree with the sentiment,” Roland commented with a frown, “but I’d also like to add that we don’t have anything to lose. We’re already stripped of our equipment, so if they wanted us dead, we wouldn’t be talking like this. Since their proposal sounded sincere, we might as well hear them out.”

“That’s right,” Penny vehemently agreed. “And it’s not like there’s anything wrong with Leo’s plan. Wouldn’t it just mean we could hunt the really bad guys even more effectively?”

“Aye, sure, or th’ enemies o’ this wyrmblood fowk,” he shot back. “Dae ye pure waant me tae hawp thay wilnae juist uise us as pauwns? ”

“Leo wouldn’t let that happen,” she argued, but the big guy straight up scoffed at her.

“Lik’ hell he wouldn’t! He’s dating yin o’ thaim, fur fock’s sake! How come aren’t ye talking aboot that? ”

“I-I’m not happy about it either, but… I can’t really object. I lost the Arbitration.”

“That doesn’t mak’ it richt!”

“But what makes it wrong then?” Roland threw in a question that sounded rhetorical, yet the oldest Knight apparently didn’t get the memo.

“If our liege is to be believed, and the Dracis are truly free of the lawless avarice of their kin, then I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with the two of them being lovers.”

“And even if we don’t accept Leonard’s words at face value, this is an opportunity all the same,” Roland addressed the linguistically challenged man in the middle. “You presume that the Dracis might try to influence us to do their bidding, but wouldn’t we just as easily influence them to stay on the straight and narrow path? Even if Leonard is wrong and they do use their wealth and power immorally, we might be able to correct that from the inside, and if they really as sinless as he claims, then it makes all the more sense to work with them to restrain their less agreeable cousins. It’s something that’s never been tried before, and I believe it has potential.”

“A got somehin fur disaster,” Mr. Minotaur scoffed, but it was telling that he couldn’t muster a better argument than that.

“Maybe, but I’d rather take our liege’s lead into the unbeaten path than to watch our Brotherhood fade into nothingness in a few more generations and leave the wyrmbloods victorious by virtue of being the last one standing.”

“Then urr ye telling me that workin’ wi’ thae wyrmbloods is th’ richt thing tae dae? Kin ye pure say that? Fur if ye kin, then tell me whit does it mak’ whit we’ve bin daein’ ’til noo? ”

Oof. That was an armor-piercing question I really didn’t expect from this guy of all people, and it made the others freeze up for a moment before Penny venture an unsure, “It’s… the best thing to do right now?”

“Sae ye’r saying that we’ve bin wrong ’til noo?”

“I don’t think that’s what she means,” Roland spoke up and moved a little, as if to shelter the girl from the big guy’s glare. “Out of our currently available options, following Leonard’s plan is certainly the most optimal one. However, we only have it as an option because Leonard opened it up for us. Without him being the King and also having an ironclad connection to the Dracises, negotiations would be completely impossible, and thus you wouldn’t even be able to ask your previous question.” Mr. Minotaur still wasn’t entirely convinced, so he concluded with a firm, “In other words, our doctrine and actions weren’t wrong, merely the best available options at the time. Now that we have something better, we must be adaptable and mustn’t let the opportunity slip.”

“Ah see whit ye’r trying tae say, bit…” The oversized Knight paused here to sneak a glance at the girl halfway hidden out of his sight, and seeing her nod, he practically deflated with a nod. “Ah pure dinnae lik’ this, ‘n’ ah aye think tis a trick, but… fur th’ time bein’, ah will speil alang ‘n’ see whither this is an opportunity or a mistake fur masell.”

“Duncan…”

“Dinnae tak’ me wrong, Penny-gurl. If hings caw sour, ah will be goin awa even if ah hae tae drag ye wi’ me by force .”

“Do you mean all of us or only Sister Penelope?” the sideburn Knight asked one hundred percent seriously, but he only got an irritated ‘Bah!’ in return.

Anyhow, their discussion was more or less over by the looks of it, so I decided to stop eavesdropping on them from nearby. I came back to the mansion a while ago, but I couldn’t just Phase into their room, for obvious reasons. On top of that, I figured that coming back five minutes after telling them I’d take their equipment to a professional would raise some eyebrows, so I purposefully wasted some time, just to be safe.

However, I was way past my promised time of return, and at this rate Judy would really go Spanish Inquisition on me. In the worst case, I might have to suffer the comfy chair, but hopefully she’ll be satisfied with just the pointy cushions. Jokes aside, time won’t wait for anyone, so I picked up my bags and walked around the corner leading to the guest rooms. There was only a single placeholder maid there, and after giving her a small nod, I opened the door without any reservations and walked inside, much to the four Knights’ surprise.

“Evening. I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Leo!” Penny greeted me with unexpected enthusiasm and came to my side.

As for the rest, Mr. Minotaur was sulking near the kitchen area, Roland just finished setting the beds, while Mr. Eagle was already back in the massage chair. He really liked that, huh? I never tried one of those, but maybe they were really nice? Anyhow, I put the idea aside for now and turned to the girl in front of me.

“Hi, kiddo. It’s good you came over, because this one is yours.” Saying so, I handed her a paper bag, but she was unexpectedly confounded by the contents. “It’s your school uniform.”

“Haud oan! Penny-gurl is aye aff tae gang tae schuil?”

“A better question: can she attend school?” Roland cut in with a more reasonable inquiry. “Can we leave the building?”

“For now it’s only her, because mid-terms are starting soon. The moment I manage to establish some cover identities for you, you’ll be free to come and go as you wish.” I paused here, and then inquired, “For the record, none of you happen to have a teaching license just lying around, right?”

“I can’t say I do, my liege,” Mr. Eagle noted on the side, and Roland also shook his head.

“Just checking, because I already have a weird precedent. Oh well, we’ll figure something out. If push comes to shove, I think I could probably get Dunky a janitor post at school.”

“Wha urr ye cawin a donkey!? ‘n’ whit? Janitor?”

“Calm down, Dunky. It’s just a nickname to show that we’re really close, and I’m by no way in any shape or form implying that you’re an ass. As for the job, it’s just for appearances, so don’t get your panties in a twist.” The big guy continued to grumble, but my attention was drawn away from him by Penny tugging on my coat. “What is it, kiddo?”

“Do I really have to go to school?”

“Of course you do.”

“But… why?”

“Because you enrolled, and I won’t take a dropout for a sister,” I told her frankly, and hurriedly continued before she could get a word in. “Also, I couldn’t get you one at this hour, but tomorrow, I’m buying you a phone.”

“Dinnae tak’ it. He’s likelie aff tae uise it tae track ye, sae that ye cannae gied the pitch.”

I sent the nosy guy a sideways glance and said, “No, Dunky, it’s to keep in touch. Also, I’m getting phones for all of you for the same reason, and no, before you ask, it’s still not for tracking. I don’t need phones to keep an eye on you. I have ninjas.”

Of course, I didn’t need those either, but it was technically true, and if he mistakenly connected the two sentences, it was his fault. More importantly though, I found someone tugging at my sleeve again, so I turned back to Penny, and her eyes were all but gleaming with excitement.

“A phone? One of the new ones? With a touch screen? Can… Can I get a Pearfone IX? Ah, wait, I shouldn’t ask for something so expensive, so… maybe a Pearfone VII Pro? No, I’m okay with the base model too, but the pro has a better camera and—”

“Calm down, kiddo. We’ll get you a pearl phone nine or whatnot if that’s what you want. The price doesn’t really matter either. I have a lot of money.”

“You do?” Roland asked a little incredulously, and I nodded with a similar expression.

“Mist be crakin’ mooching aff th’ wyrmbloods lik’ that,” Dunky grumbled, but I quickly denied his charge.

“No, it’s the money you guys kept sending me. Well, that, and the dividends I got from investing into our new music streaming services.”

“Your what?” Arnwald blurted out, and I resigned myself to explain it.

“I gave Abram this idea to make a music streaming service to prop up his record label. Since it was my brainchild and I invested about two million into the project, I got a bunch of shares in the new company and he’s been paying me dividends. It’s called Ouroboros Music. You might’ve heard of it.”

“Wait, you own Ouroboros?” Penny exclaimed with a mixture of surprise and awe, and when I nodded, she grabbed hold of my hand and demanded, “Brother, can you set me up for a premium account? Please? Pretty please?”

“I have a more important question,” Roland cut in before the girl could pester me any longer. “You invested two million? In Jen?”

“Yes.”

“Where did you get that kind of money?”

“I just told you: from you. I mean, the Brotherhood.” Seeing his expression cloud over, I soon added, “Or so I’ve thought, but apparently not.”

“Unless Sir Percival was sending you money, I doubt it came from us.”

“Could he send me eighty grand a month?”

“Definitely not.”

“Huh. Then where the hell did I get all that money?”

“Howfur shuid we ken?”

“That was a rhetorical question, Dunky,” I told the ornery Knight, and he huffed and puffed so much you’d think he was the Big Bad Wolf Knight.

That said, I kind of took for granted that my extravagant allowance was coming from the Brotherhood, but if not, then it was something I have to look into again. Eighty thousand Jens don’t just magically materialize into someone’s account every month for no reason, and if it wasn’t these guys responsible, then there had to be some kind of reason behind it. Seriously, what the heck was going on with my background? Let’s just hope it’s not some narratively contrived crap and it turns out I was also a Celestial triple-agent or something, because that really wouldn’t be funny.

“Brother? What about my premium account?”

“Let’s talk about that after you got your phone,” I told my insistent sister, and… wait, did I just casually accept her as my sister? Once I got home, I really needed to charge up on Snowium to get rid of these weird notions. More importantly, it was time to reveal the contents of the other, much bigger bag I had. “By the way, I noticed that there were only two beds in the guest room, so I picked this up on my way here.”

“What’s that?” Penny inquired while trying to peer into the bag, but since I had no reason to hide it from her, I handed it over.

“It’s an inflatable mattress and some bedding. This way you can sleep on one bed, Arnwald can sleep on the other, and Roland can have this.”

“What about Duncan?” she asked while unpacking, so I gestured towards the space between the beds.

“There’s a perfectly good floor over there.” The big guy glared at me with the intensity of a thousand incandescent stage lights, so after meeting his gaze for a few seconds of principle, I let out a snicker and told him, “I’m kidding. There are two mattresses.”

“Brother, don’t tease him,” Penny tried to scold me, but it didn’t really work when her face was beet red from trying to inflate one of the beds by lung.

“I reject any such accusations. Also, there’s a leg pump at the bottom of the bag, use that.” I turned to the men next and said, “Just bear with these for a while. The mansion is big, but there are only so many beds, and the squires had to be lodged as well. I’ll try to work something out by the weekend.”

“I believe I speak for all of us when I say that the accommodations are already far more than adequate, my liege.”

“We certainly had worse,” Roland added.

“Much worse. With cockroaches and everything,” came the next absentminded comment from Penny while she tried to fit the pump’s tube onto the mattress. Since she didn’t make much progress, Mr. Griffon graciously came to her rescue.

In the meantime, the oldest knight came over to me and quietly inquired, “My liege there’s one thing I didn’t get the chance to ask before. May I?”

“Sure,” I gave him the go, and he leaned even closer to whisper to me.

“The masked men who participated in our initial capture. Were they Fauns of the Abyss?”

“… What makes you think that?”

“I had a brief encounter with a Faun more than a decade ago,” he told me secretively. “I recognized his spear from back then.”

“Is that so?” He was looking at me expectantly, and after weighing my options, I frankly told him. “Yes. I’m sure you’ve already heard that I’d adopted an Abyssal girl.” He nodded at once. “She’s the sister of the current head of the Inanna house, and the Fauns defected with her.”

“You… adopted a Lord of the Abyss?”

“She’s not that… though I suppose if her prick of a brother died, she would be second in line.”

Unless Brang and co. kept insisting on me being her regent and somehow landing me the position, but Mr. Eagle here really didn’t need to know that. Not to mention, I didn’t want to jinx it. I’ve already had too many organizations fall into my hands out of the blue, the last thing I needed was having to accommodate an entire Abyssal noble house.

“My liege—”

“Could you please stop calling me that?  It’s embarrassing. Leonard will do.”

“In that case… Brother Leonard, just what exactly happened to you since the last time we met?”

“A lot, but this isn’t the right time or place to explain it all.” The older Knight looked a touch dissatisfied with my answer, but let the topic drop all the same. “Speaking of time, it’s getting really late, and if I don’t get home soon, my girlfriends will be worried.”

“I’ve meant to ask this, by why are you saying ‘girlfriends’ in plural?” Roland inquired from the left field, and even the sulky Mr. Minotaur glanced my way when he heard the question, but I had to disappoint them.

“Sorry, but that’s another really long story. Maybe I’ll tell you another day.” With that, I turned around and grabbed the doorknob. “I’ll come by again after school. Till then, behave yourselves, be polite with the staff, and make sure Dunky doesn’t do anything stupid.”

“Stop calling me a donkey!”

I flashed a toothy smirk at the seething guy and said, “Bye, and see you tomorrow afternoon. Except for you, kiddo. I’ll be picking you up in the morning.”

“O-Okay. Bye, Leo.”

Penny gave me a small wave, which was fairly cute, and after I returned the gesture, I closed the door behind me and let out a small sigh before I headed towards the secluded corridor again. Poor Brang. It was his idea to disguise themselves during the attack, and yet it was his own spear that revealed their identity. Talk about being hoisted by one’s own petard.

On a more serious note, while the Knightly Quartet was troublesome, especially Mr. Minotaur, by the looks of it they would listen to reason and cooperate with my Dragon Knight Initiative (better name pending). Now I only had to figure out how to bring the other Knights into the fold, how to deal with those Chinese Draconians, and whatever trials, tribulations, and tropes they bring to the table, and now I even had to try and track the source of my allowance again. Things were about to get busy soon, but for the short term, today’s events should buy me at least a few weeks of relative peace and quiet to focus on preparing for the next tidal wave of what-is-this-I-don’t-even.

However, before all of that, I had to first go home and explain to Judy and Elly why I was so late. Then, after we had an argument, we’ll have to make up and then cuddle a lot. Such was my lot in life, I supposed, and then promptly Phased away.