The Simulacrum - Chapter 92

“We’re home!”

I turned an unsurprised look at the trio entering the living room, and uttered a flat, “It’s half-past five.”

“I ask for forgiveness, Leonard-dono,” Mountain Girl apologized with a bow that incidentally made the half a dozen paper bags in her hands drop to the floor. I also had no idea why she did that, as I sincerely doubted being this late was her fault.

“We know it’s late, but teacher was showing us around town, and we lost track of time in the restaurant. Sorry,” Penny chimed in with a not-at-all-remorseful voice.

Huh. So it really was Mountain Girl’s fault. Who would’ve thought, especially with my knightlier sister around? That said, they were only thirty minutes late, and at least Snowy was looking suitably guilty, so I decided to drop the issue.

As for what these three were doing outside? It was around noon, just round the time we had a short lunch break with my girlfriends, when my sisters called me, asking if they could leave the base to buy a few things in town. I had no reason to say no to them, and somewhere along the way, Rinne joined the group, ostensibly serving as their bodyguard on their shopping spree.

We agreed that they would come home by five sharp, on the insistence of Judy, probably so that they wouldn’t interrupt us while we were still busy doing the ol’ horizontal tango. She overshot the time frame a bit though, as by three in the afternoon, both she and Elly were completely tuckered out. Even I was feeling just a tad drained after all that physical activity, though it was nothing a hot shower and a cup of strong tea couldn’t fix. I sent the girls home not long after that, so I’d been waiting for almost two hours for the trio in front of me to arrive, if only so that I could move on with my own business in peace.

Not that I was bored, considering I had quite a bit of cleaning up to do. Despite this being our first time, my girlfriends were unexpectedly… let’s call it ‘adventurous’, and leave it at that.

“So? What did you guys buy?” I asked, mostly out of courtesy.

“It’s mostly clothes,” Snowy answered and placed one of the paper bags next to the couch.

“And daily necessities,” my knightly sister noted on the side and fished out a big yellow mug, a set of toothbrushes, and something that at a glance looked like koala-print bed sheets.

She acted like she was moving in, and as far as I knew, that might’ve been precisely her plan. Before I could call her out on it though, I noticed Rinne inspecting me from up close. We locked eyes for a while, then I blurted out an uncertain, “What is it?”

After a beat of silence, she let out a satisfied hum and put her hands on her hips.

“Rinne is pheasantly surprised.”

“Pleasantly,” I corrected her on autopilot, but she continued without acknowledging it.

“Leonard-dono’s yang energy is finally in balance. Good.”

“Now that you mention it, brother’s complexion definitely looks much better than usual,” Penny noted as she joined the peanut gallery, and even Snowy agreed with a small nod. “It’s almost like you’re glowing!”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” I denied flatly, but none of them looked convinced.

To be honest though, I did feel unusually relaxed at the moment. Contrary to my worries, our first, second, third, and fifth times with the girls proceeded incredibly smoothly, and despite my fears, the act not only didn’t lead to friction in our relationship, if anything, it brought us closer than ever. Both literally and figuratively. I’d call that a complete success, and it took a huge weight off my shoulders.

That said, I also couldn’t help but feel just a touch underwhelmed. Wasn’t upgrading a relationship from platonic to sexual supposed to be one of those huge, worldview-shattering, pivotal moments in someone’s life? Not only that, but we all started out as virgins, so it should’ve been doubly impactful, yet it just… wasn’t. It simply felt like a messier, more physically taxing cuddle.

I had to wonder; was I the problem? Or rather, was I the problem again, like when my expectations about love were so overblown I couldn’t see the forest for the trees? Maybe sex was supposed to be simple like that, and I was just overthinking it? According to the girls, I was really prone to do that, and I had no choice but to believe them. I mean, by this point I had a feeling they knew me better than I did, so if they both agreed on it, there had to be at least a grain of truth there.

So, in conclusion, taking a roll in the hay was weirdly mundane, kind of messy, and quite pleasant all things considered. Well, except for the fourth time. We don’t talk about the fourth time. Oh, and it also balanced my chi or something, if Mountain Girl was to be believed.

But putting all of that aside, I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable under the crossfire of curious gazes, so I promptly shooed the trio away from me.

“How about you guys stop staring and start unpacking instead?”

“Brother’s right. We have to figure out where to put my underwear so that we wouldn’t mix them up,” my redhead sister mused with a pensive expression.

“We can embroider our initials into them,” Snowy proposed, but it only deepened the furrows on the other girl’s brows.

“I have no idea how to do that.”

“I’ve… never tried it either, but it shouldn’t be too hard…”

“Worry not!” Rinne exclaimed out of the blue and confidently thumped on her chest. “As Leonard-dono’s retainer, Rinne will take care of it!”

“Can you?” I inquired just a touch skeptically, and she hit her chest again, probably for emphasis.

“Rinne was the leader of the handicrafts club in high school.”

“I would say I’m surprised, but with your track record, I’d be lying.” My comment received no reaction, so I breathed in and raised my voice a little. “You guys do that. I have some things to take care of at the base, so I’ll be out until the evening. Don’t make too big of a mess.”

“Don’t worry, Leonard-dono. Rinne is a responsible adult, and will oversee your home until your return.”

I had a retort right on the tip of my tongue, but it wasn’t worth it.

“… Sure. You do that.”

I gestured for the three to head upstairs, then headed for the teleport closet. I still had to keep up appearances in front of Penny, though I already had a vague inkling of a plan that would let me resolve everything rather soon. I just had to figure out the extra details.

Anyhow, I soon arrived at the base and headed out. While we didn’t agree on the hour, I didn’t want to make Fred wait longer than necessary either. We had lots of stuff to do, so the sooner we could start, the better.

“Ah, ue-sama!” Ichiko perked up the moment she laid eyes on me, from across the entire main hall. She pattered over in a hurry and came to a screeching halt in front of me, holding out a certain glowing sword in front of her. “Welcome! Look, I’m done with the cleaning!”

I couldn’t see much of a difference, since Cal was about as gilded and shiny as ever, but I rubbed her head anyway and took the blade from her.

“Good job.”

The little miko let out a delighted ‘Yip’ sound and beamed at me. Meanwhile, I could also hear a familiar voice in my head.

“{Lady Ichiko is truly an expert of maintenance, young knight. You have done well to recruit her. Please convey my sincerest thanks to her.}”

“I’m glad to hear you’re getting along.”

“We sure do!” the little miko exclaimed between giggles.

“Cal also asked me to tell you he’s appreciating how you take care of them.”

“It’s only natural! I know how icky it is to have dirt and grime stuck on you!”

“{It truly is,}” the sword in my hand agreed with the verbal equivalent of a big nod. “{I’m glad lady Ichiko understands me. I could only wish my wielder of this generation would pay half as much attention to me.}”

“I told you, I can’t exactly wave you around in the open until this entire feud situation got resolved.” Cal remained silent, but I could still pick up a sense of sulking emanating from the blade, so I added, “Don’t be like that. You’ll have your day in the sun too.”

“{I exist to inspire and command. To think my wielder would try to console me instead… This is truly—}”

“The darkest of times. Yes, yes. Such terribleness, much horror, oh the humanity.”

“{… Young knight. I can’t help but feel that you’re making fun of me.}”

“It’s just your imagination.”

Even though Ichiko could only hear one side of our conversation, she provided constant a background jingle with her amused giggles, only to stop with a face that said she just recalled something important and she tugged on my sleeve.

“Ue-sama? When are you going to make Cal-san a sheath?”

“One of these days,” I responded offhandedly. “It’s pretty low on the priority list right now, and it’ll take some time to manufacture and enchant it.”

The tiny miko was obviously dissatisfied with my answer, but it only lasted for a second before her eyes gleamed with excitement.

“Wait a moment, ue-sama! I have an idea!”

Before I could ask her what she meant, she turned on her heel and dashed away like a red and white comet with a black tail trailing behind her. I didn’t have to wonder for long though, as she returned only a couple of seconds later, with a tentacled ball in her hand.

“Let’s use Pudding-kun!” she exclaimed excitedly and presented the mini-shoggoth to me, making me raise a single baffled brow in return.

“You mean, as Cal’s scabbard?”

“Sure! Pudding-kun is amazing at transformation-jutsu! He can definitely do it!”

“I’m not doubting that, but…” As much as I wanted to just dismiss the idea, both the little girl and the miniature eldritch horror were giving me the puppy eyes, so I softened it into a much less definitive, “I’ll think about it.”

“Yay!” After exclaiming, Ichiko shifted the little creature to one hand and held out the other towards me. I reflexively handed Cal back to her, and she let out a determined noise that wasn’t quite a chuckle. “Let’s go, Pudding-kun! We’ll practice, and show ue-sama how amazing you are!”

The tiny shoggoth seemed just as fired up, or at least that was the impression I got from the way it waved its stubby tentacles, and the odd trio scampered away towards the lounge area.

I followed them with my eyes, but ultimately left them to their own devices and headed for my original destination in the sub-basement. On the way, I greeted a group of Fauns carrying painting cans, one of the members of the research division on her way to the cafeteria, and then waved at Roland running circles around the main hall in the company of the squires. All in all, life was proceeding as usual in the secret base. To think that originally this was only supposed to be a rudimentary hiding place for Brang and his men… We’ve certainly come a long way, haven’t we?

Musing so, I entered the workshop, and my nose was immediately assaulted by a heady mixture of machine oil, burnt rubber, and something that was kind of like lavender, but not quite. That’s how the main workshop always smelled, but nobody knew why. It couldn’t have been that hard to figure out though, as while we called it the main workshop, it was the second smallest one, so I had no idea why they never checked every nook and cranny. But then again, neither did I, and I was already kind of used to the odor anyway.

As for the other workshops, there were a couple separate workspaces for the rest of the Research Society recruits, but whether those were divisions, sub-workshops, or entirely separate laboratories, was still up in the air and the subject of debate. The kind that was fought with impeccable logic, rousing rhetoric, and only the occasional death threats. Fred reassured me that this was all completely normal and part of academic discourse, but just to be safe, I warned everyone that if they caused any damage in the process of their ‘debate’, I’ll have them pay for it, and things have calmed down considerably since then. As they say, he who controls the budget controls the universe.

But back to the main workshop: it was the same as usual, filled with various mundane and mystical machinery, plus a lot of weird things, like plasma lamps, bubbling alembics, and those arc generators where electricity traveled up between two metal rods. They’re called ‘Jacob’s Ladder’, I think? Anyhow, they served no other purpose than to create ‘the right ambiance for science to happen’, and since they didn’t cost too much, I let them have their fun.

“Oh, it’s you. Welcome, boss!” my chief science officer greeted me the moment our eyes met. Also, for the record, I didn’t give him that title.

Speaking of science, Fred was in the process of measuring some kind of oscillating light in a vacuum tube with a handheld tool that looked like it would be used to find ghosts, by people with unlicensed nuclear accelerators strapped to their backs. He put his task aside when he saw me, and it was only at this point that I noticed that he had a well-groomed pencil moustache sitting over his lips.

I was pretty sure that wasn’t there just a day ago, but before I could make an inquiry, he walked over to me, rubbing his hands, and asked, “Are we going to finish it today?”

“Maybe, but there’s no need to rush. We still have almost a week until the auction.”

“Kihihi! I know, I know, but I’m still excited!”

He was beaming at me with the smile of a kid on Christmas morning, and we headed to the back of the room, where Galatea was busy working on a metal plate held in a vice. I already enchanted that one, but she insisted that it had to be more impressive, so she’d been decorating it with a complex circuitry-board pattern. By the looks of it, she was almost done, which made it the fourth one.

“Good evening, grandmaster,” she greeted me and casually reached out to show me one of the completed pieces. “I request user input.”

“She’s asking for your opinion,” Fred translated and… wait. Why did he also have a beard now?

“Request still pending,” the androidess emphasized and pushed the object in front of my face, diverting my attention.

It was an oval, silver metal plaque the size of my palm, and after she finished with her handiwork, it was now covered with interlocking flowing patterns. “For this one, I used woad painting as a reference, with an extendable bronze stand on the back, so that the owner can easily show it off to guests.”

“I see. Very fancy.”

That was apparently enough for her, as she let out a content hum and put the plaque back onto the top of the pile. As for what they were, it would be best to describe them as ‘bait’. Using my phantom limbs, I put a couple of streamlined enchantments onto them. Nothing fancy, just simple wards, mana accumulation arrays, and the like.

What made them special was the fact that I made them. After what happened at the Symposium, most of the Magi Schools around the globe became interested in my work, and just announcing that I would put some of my enchantments up for auction resulted in a bunch of them confirming their attendance on the same day. Since they were only interested in the internal workings of my the arrays, I only focused on those while not caring much about the appearance of the items that housed them, but when Elly caught wind of our plans, she insisted that I had to ‘build my brand’, and that I couldn’t just put plain metal sheets up for sale. Hence, the current fancy state of said metal plaques.

“I request that grandmaster put his signatures on the items before they are handed over to the auction house,” Galatea spoke with a serious voice. “Preliminary calculations predict doing so would result in an average of nine-point-eight percent increase in the final bids.”

Before I could ask how he could predict something like that, my eyes met with Fred’s, and my jaws slacked in utter bamboozlement. Right at this moment, the guy’s chin was inflated to such a degree he looked like that muscular cartoon squid meme I never quite understood.

It didn’t take him a long time to notice the look I was giving him, and he uttered a baffled “What?”

“That’s what I want to know!” I burst out and pointed at him. “What the heck is wrong with your face?”

“My face?” he repeated after me, and let out a panicked yelp when his fingers brushed against his enormous chin. “W-Whaaat?”

In his panic, Fred grabbed onto his face, only to flinch and yelp again when it let out a loud ‘Nyuuu!’ sound and turned into a familiar, flesh-colored ball.

“What is this!?”

With a motion that was half panicked and half outraged, the guy flung the tiny shoggoth away, but before it would land, Galatea leaped forward like she was released from a bow and caught the creature mid-air. She landed with the grace of an Olympic gymnast and lightly petted the one-eyed menace.

“Master, you scared Pudding-kun. I request that you act more delicately in the future.”

By the sound of it, the name Ichiko gave to the mini-shoggoth collective stuck, but I didn’t expect that the honorific would become part of it too. As for the local mad scientist, he rubbed his face and exclaimed, “Who cares if it’s scared! Since when was this thing on my face?”

“According to sensory data records, since six.”

“In the morning? Why didn’t you tell me!?”

“After analyzing all the available data, my logic circuits came to the conclusion that master was attempting to change his appearance to become more attractive to the opposite sex.”

“What kind of explanation is that!? When did I ever care about something like that?”

The androidess let out a thoughtful hum and stated, “Searching long-term memory databanks. Error. No such records found.” She paused here and raised the little creature to her eye level and told it, “I believe we have discovered the root cause behind the observed fact that master still lacks a wife at his age.”

The ball of tentacles played along by nodding, at least as much as it could. It was a bizarre sight, but by my standards, it didn’t even break the top twenty weirdest things I’ve seen.

“What does having a wife have to do with—?” Fred objected, but considering this whole scene was steadily heading nowhere fast, I cut him off by pointedly clearing my throat.

“Does it really matter?”

“It does,” Galatea doubled down at once, completely ignoring my attempt to move things along. “According to my prediction algorithms, there is already a twenty-seven-point-two percent chance that master would grow old all alone and would end up buried with only his favorite body pillow.”

“I have no such thing!”

“Understood. I will add this information to my database. Issuing correction: master will be buried with all of his body pillows, as he loves all of them equally.”

“I don’t have any!” Fred yelled out, followed by a groan of pure exasperation.

“Galatea.” The fembot flinched and glanced over at me. When our eyes met, I let out a pointed sigh and asked, “Isn’t it about time you looked after your aquarium?”

We maintained eye contact for a few seconds, and at last she glanced aside and replied, “Grandmaster’s ears are truly remarkable. After reviewing my recent full-spectrum audio recordings, there really seems to be a marked increase in the hungry fish noise sub-category. To avoid it causing any distractions, I will now activate my feeding subroutines.”

Saying so, she turned to our left and walked away without another word. Fred followed her with his eyes and let out another sigh before asking, “Where did I go wrong raising her?”

“How should I know?”

“Eh, it was a rhetorical question,” he muttered and straightened his back. “Should we get started?”

“Yeah, let’s.”

“Kihihi! On it!”

He quickly moved to the back, but before following him, I took one last glance at Galatea, and noticed her handing a candy bar over to the mini-shoggoth. Well. At least that explained one mystery…

“Are you coming, boss?”

“Yeah, yeah, coming,” I responded a tad wearily as I moved on as well, and we soon stood in front of a large machine tucked away in the corner and mostly hidden behind a couple of strategically placed curtains hanging from a circular fixture overhead.

At first glance, it looked kind of like an oversized 3D printer, with a large mechanical arm hovering over a blank flat surface. It didn’t remain empty for long though, as after making sure there was no one else around, Fred closed the curtains and took out a long box hidden behind the machine. I helped him open it up, and we placed the two items inside, a pair of identical spears, onto the flat area of the device.

Once everything was in position, Fred moved behind a nearby control panel and pressed a couple of buttons. In a few short seconds, the machine in front of us came to life with a quiet buzzing sound, and the area under the spears lit up with a dim green light.

“Kihihi! Everything is in perfect working order! Go ahead boss, do your thing!”

He didn’t have to say twice. Before anything else, I gently put a hand on the spear closer to me, and the small jolt running up my fingers told me it was definitely the original. As for the other spear…

Let’s put it this way: when you are fishing, for carps, you need a small bait. I was fishing for sharks, so I’d naturally have to prepare a big bait to get them to show interest, wouldn’t I?

The student body of Blue Cherry High exhaled a collective sigh the moment Lord Grandpa finally finished his long-winded speech on the podium. It echoed but for a moment in the gymnasium, still covered in the decorations left behind by the Christmas Ball, and it was soon replaced by the bustling sounds of a wave of teens streaming out of the place in a hurried yet organized manner. It kind of reminded me of an ant hive.

We had no reason to stand around either, so our little group also followed the flow.

“Winter break, here we go!” Angie exclaimed with a fist in the air, drawing a sideways glance from the class rep.

“Don’t hold up the line.”

“I’m not!”

“Cut her some slack,” I interjected as I followed behind them. “I bet she’s just happy she didn’t fail any of her grades.”

I might’ve been wrong on that one, as she turned at me with a disapproving look, but before she could object, we bumped into a couple of familiar faces.

“I totally didn’t miss this part of my school days. Like I gave my fair share of speeches, but I never– Oh, hi guys!” Sahi greeted us with a grin, while her straight-laced companion only gave us a shallow nod in acknowledgment. “Endy, like totally overblew his speech this time didn’t he?”

“I think it was about as long as usual,” Josh mused, and the brown girl sent him a flat look.

“Really? Laaame! Paz, please remind me to outlaw long speeches once I get back my position.”

Armband Guy didn’t even acknowledge her words, but instead he turned to me and stated, “I delivered your message to the Lord, Dunning.”

“Thanks. I owe you one.”

“Message? What’s that about?” Elly inquired, but this wasn’t the place to discuss it, so I shook my head and mouthed a silent ‘Later’, which she grudgingly accepted.

In the meantime, we passed through the doors, and as the crowd around us dispersed, Sahi stretched her arms and then put them on her hips, accompanied by a provocative smirk.

“So? What do you kids plan to do during the holidays?”

Most of our group stiffened up and remained conspicuously silent, so I had no choice but to answer first.

“Lots of things to do. There’s the auction coming up, and—”

“I don’t mean that!” the incognito arch-mage cut me off with a weird grimace. “I don’t mean business! You’re, like, totally young! You should be playing around!”

“We do that too,” I answered, a tad irritated. “We have three separate dates lined up, two family dinners, and a new year’s party.”

“We also have a couple of positions to try out we couldn’t get to yesterday,” Judy commented on the side, earning her a frown from me.

“That’s not public information, Dormouse.”

She shrugged me off, while Elly only let out a mirthful giggle. The others seemed more confused than anything, so it was probably only Sahi who got her meaning, as she flashed an ear-to-ear grin and punched me in the shoulder.

“Wicked! What about you guys?”

“I… have some plans,” Ammy admitted with a slight stutter, while the childhood friend duo only averted their eyes, pretending that the question had nothing to do with them.

“We’re decorating!” Penny suddenly exclaimed on my left, apparently joining our group along with my other sister. “Snowy’s in charge, and I’m helping!”

“That’s also wicked!”

“W-What! No, it’s not!” she denied with a reddened face and even waved her hands around. “It’s completely normal!”

She apparently wasn’t used to Sahi’s vernacular yet, so I tapped her on the shoulder.

“She meant it sounded nice.”

“Then why did she call it wicked?” she asked back, her outrage fully replaced by confusion.

“That’s just how she speaks,” Judy added on the side.

“But it means the opposite!”

“Well, she could’ve also called it gnarly, fresh, bad, choice, or tubular. They all mean more or less the same thing,” I noted, and my knightlier sister looked at me like I was from the moon and let out a befuddled groan.

In the meantime, Sahi cleared her throat to draw our attention, and she declared, “We’re, like, going on a training trip to prepare for the competition!”

“We?” Josh blurted out, and she nodded with a toothy grin.

“I was appointed to accompany her,” Pascal explained in a tired voice, and I could practically hear the implied ‘so that she wouldn’t cause too much chaos’ in it.

“I have it all planned out! It’s going to be totally tubular!”

“See, I told you,” I quipped at my sister, but her eyes were still swimming, so I wasn’t sure she registered my words.

Then suddenly, music. When I glanced over, I found Sahi shadowboxing, with the phone in her right hand playing the kind of music you’d hear under a training montage. Was she really this hyped about the tournament, I wondered?

“She’s been like ever since she convinced the Lord to let her compete,” Armband Guy noted, but it didn’t seem to bother her at all.

“So I guess we’re going to be rivals, huh?” Josh mused on the side, and Sahi finally stopped throwing jabs and hooks at thin air.

“Are you, like, competing too?”

“He’s in the second wing, with the rest of the independent contestants,” Judy noted, and she let out a small chuckle.

“So that’s how it is! Try your best, kid, and we might even meet in the ring!”

“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m different from back then,” Josh responded with a positively wolfish grin. “I’ll see you on the twenty-seventh and show you in person!”

“Eighth,” Elly cut in to correct him, and the guy twitched like he hit a wall.

“Excuse me?”

“The contest will start on the twenty-eighth,” Armband Guy told everyone in a voice that said he found the fact Josh didn’t already know that baffling. “We have received a message from the Feilong family, saying that due to security concerns, they decided not to host the grand auction and the preliminaries of the tournament on the same day.”

I nodded along, already aware of the information. Apparently, my little jaunt as Bel during the grand elder’s secret meeting did have an effect after all. Because of the large number of contestants, and because they would need time to recover between the matches, the tournament was also extended from two days to three, meaning the finals would be held on the thirtieth I wasn’t really against it, as it gave me more time to finish my preparations and hammer out my plans.

Incidentally, our internal tournament would be held on the thirty-first and would be followed by a big new year’s party doubling as a victory banquet that I also had to prepare for. All in all, this promised to be a busy couple of weeks.

“Twenty-seventh or twenty-eighth, it doesn’t matter! You’ll see!” Josh declared, still looking at Sahi, and she responded with a provocative smirk. Was this a rivalry in the making, I wondered? Seeing him pick a fight with an incognito arch-mage like that felt a little unfair, but then again, he was the one who insisted that he wanted to take part in the contest, so it was only fair that he would lie on the bed he made.

“I’m also participating!” Penny butted in, once she finally resolved her linguistic blue screen of death, and she was soon joined by the princess.

“So am I!”

“That much is, like, obvious, isn’t it?”

“I… guess it is?” Elly responded a tad dispiritedly, so I patted her on the back to cheer her up.

“Amelia is also competing,” Judy informed them, and Armband Guy’s exhausted look instantly disappeared as he glanced over in alarm.

“This is the first time I am hearing of this.”

“I’m joining the independent brackets,” the class rep explain a touch awkwardly, then after a brief pause she added, “Don’t tell Grandfather.”

The two locked eyes for a while, and Pascal ultimately let out a grunt that I interpreted as agreement.

“Wow! That’s going to be some stiff competition fer shur! I’m getting totally stoked!” the brown girl in the middle of our group exclaimed with one fist thrust into the air, prompting Armband Guy to let out a sigh and unceremoniously push her arm down with his palm.

“Please act your age.”

“I’m totally acting my age!” Sahi fumed and faced the guy. “I’m, like, a cute teenage girl, so it’s fine!”

“Calling yourself cute does not mean you are.”

“Oh? So are you saying I’m not cute?” she challenged him with a provocative grin, but instead of answering, Pascal simply rolled his eyes without moving a single other muscle on his face, and Sahi let out a triumphant laugh.

While they were doing their thing, I noticed that Judy was pulling on my sleeve, so I turned my attention to her.

“Chief, it’s almost ten. Shouldn’t we get going?”

“The confectionery doesn’t go anywhere,” I pointed out, but my dear assistant shot my objection down with a shake of her head.

“It doesn’t, but the special Christmas cakes are, and we have a lot of people here.”

“True…” I granted her and raised my voice to get the attention of the group. “Winter break is upon us, people. Let’s get moving before it’s over.”

“Where are you going?” Sahi cut in with a mischievous look in her eyes. “I could swear I’ve heard something about cakes just now.”

“Our favorite haunt has a special Christmas menu for this week only,” Angie answered her before I could. “We agreed to hang out there today after the closing ceremony.”

“Really? Can we come?”

“We?” Armband Guy uttered in a deadpan tone, prompting his companion to poke him in the side with her elbow.

“Come on, Paz! It’ll be totally wicked! I’ve got my paycheck, so I’ll even treat you this time!”

While she was trying to convince him, I glanced around to get everyone’s opinions, and since nobody objected, I said, “Be my guest. We’re meeting in front of the lockers.”

“Gotcha!” she beamed at me and pulled the still reluctant Armband Guy along as we all headed to the stairwell.

My sisters went ahead first to get their bags, followed by the magi duo breaking off to talk with Lord Grandpa. It appeared that Pascal had some prior appointments with the arch-mage, but Sahi was confident she could get him off the hook. More importantly, since we still had our bags in the classroom, the girls volunteered Josh to get them, and I tagged along out of solidarity.

As such, we walked upstairs, careful to dodge the steady stream of placeholders also heading home after the formalities were done and over with. I originally didn’t want to pry, but since I had the opportunity presented to me on a silver platter, I figured I might as well break the ice and ask the guy directly.

“So? How are things going with Angie?”

Josh nearly stumbled, which was kind of dangerous when you’re climbing the stairs, but he caught himself and uttered a flustered, “What do you mean?”

I directed a skeptical brow at him, but he continued to play dumb.

“Aren’t you two going out?”

He looked at me funny at first, but ultimately exhaled a defeated sigh and muttered, “I should’ve known you’d know.”

“Of course. It’s my job to know things,” I told him with a cocky grin, but he remained flustered. “What? Is there a problem? Is that why you haven’t announced it?”

“It’s complicated…” After whispering so, he gestured for me to head inside the unexpectedly empty classroom. Once we were in, he slid the door behind us shut and turned to me with a difficult expression.

“Okay, I bite. What’s so complicated about it?”

“We’re not really going out,” he told me a touch sheepishly. “It’s more of a trial, really. To see how it would work out if we tried for real. That’s why we didn’t tell anyone about it and… why are you glaring at me?”

Instead of answering, I took a deep breath to calm myself and then buried my face in my palm. I had a vague expectation that something silly like this was at play, but directly hearing it from Josh’s mouth nearly gave me a cringe-induced aneurism.

“Of all the things, why did you two have to choose the most idiotic development out there?”

“Is… Is that a trick question?”

“No!” I yelled out, only to tone it back a little and collect myself. “Listen, Josh. We’re friends, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Then as a friend, listen to me well. This thing is not going to work.”

“You mean me and Angie?”

“No, you bloody neutron star! I’m talking about this ‘trial relationship’ crap! Those never work out!”

“Oh.”

He didn’t look entirely convinced, so I pulled him over and took two nearby chairs so we could sit down.

“Let’s start from the beginning. Why did you go with a trial instead of entering into a straightforward, simple relationship like normal people?”

“That’s rich, coming from you…”

“Answer the question please.”

He didn’t want to, but after staring daggers at him for a while, he finally gave up and slouched his shoulders in defeat.

“Fine, fine. You can be such a busybody sometimes,” he grumbled, but at last began his explanation. “It happened during the school festival. We had a good time, and then while we were walking to our spot to watch the fireworks, the topic of relationships came up, and then one thing led to another, and I kind of told her that if I’d ever go out with someone, it would be someone who knew me really well. Like her.”

“So that was your confession, huh?”

“It wasn’t really a confession. I wasn’t even planning on saying anything like that. It just kinda… slipped out,” he told me with an expression that said he really didn’t want to have this conversation.

I naturally disregarded that and pressed on.

“Then what?”

“Then she joked about us going out, and I told her I would give it a try, and she agreed,” he summed things up, prompting me nearly bury my face in my hands again.

“So it was your fault.”

“It wasn’t my fault! It just sounded natural in conversation, and she was talking about all kinds of weird things, like how I could go out with Lily and Penelope too, and it just got really awkward and I pressed the idea harder than I originally planned.”

“She really said that? Going out with my sisters?”

“Yeah. She had this weird idea for some completely unknown reason,” he said, but the pointed look he was giving me said otherwise.

“In my defense, I never intended to serve as a relationship role model to anyone.”

“But you still gave her the idea. I mean, you must have, because I don’t know where else she could’ve gotten it. It makes no sense either! I don’t even like Penelope!”

“What about Snowy then?”

“… Well, I do like her, but not like like her, and… Wait. Didn’t we already have this conversation?”

“Now that you mention it, we did,” I concurred with a frown. “So she was hinting at a polyamorous relationship, you got startled by it, and committed to her without really committing to her. Is that the gist of it?”

“… Why do you have to oversimplify things like that every time we talk about this stuff?”

“I take that as a yes,” I said absent-mindedly, my brain already working on how to explain the trope to him without being too one the nose. “Listen up, Josh. These kinds of ‘trial relationships’ never work out. Or rather, they work out in the long run, but they cause all kinds of stupid and annoying misunderstandings and contrived situations neither of us has the time for.”

“Such as?”

Since he prompted me like that, I went ahead and explained, “Such as this: First you start this ‘trial’ and have a honeymoon period. Keeping it secret is thrilling, and you have brand new boundaries to push, so you have fun. Then when you start really getting into it, you start doubting the validity of the relationship, since it’s not ‘real’. It leads to friction, which leads to arguments, which leads to an inevitable breakup with some sappy parting words about how ‘It was not meant to be’ and whatnot. Then you two are both going to be miserable for an extended period of time, things are going to be really awkward, it will cause tensions in the group, but then something dramatic, stupid, or most likely stupidly dramatic happens, and you realize your true feelings, and then you two end up properly dating anyway, making the whole song-and-dance-routine a complete waste of everyone’s time.”

As I finished, I noticed that Josh was giving me a dumbfounded look, but instead of doubting what I just said, he only uttered a dazed, “Really?”

“Yes, really,” I stressed, and even crossed my arms and nodded for emphasis. “Therefore the most logical thing to do is to just cut through all that bullshit, and forget about the whole ‘trial’ part altogether.”

“I see.” He remained silent for a few seconds, with his gaze on the floor, then suddenly looked me in the eye and said, “I’m not gonna lie, I didn’t expect a pep talk on the topic, but I kinda see what you’re getting at.”

“You’re welcome.” I flashed a toothy smile at him and rose to my feet, and Josh soon followed my example. “I’m just saying, if you are willing to settle down with her, do it properly.”

“Yeah, I got that part.”

In the meantime, I picked up Elly’s and Judy’s bags, and while Josh took care of the rest. Once we were loaded up, I returned the chairs I borrowed to their place, but before he would open the door, I raised my voice to get his attention.

“By the way, I kind of forgot to say this at the beginning, but congratulations on getting a girlfriend. It was about time.”

“Thanks, I guess, but I don’t really like the way you put it,” he griped, but he was also smiling, so I just chuckled along and opened the door in his stead. However, it was at this point that he added, “By the way, can I have a question?”

“Shoot.”

“Why a neutron star?”

Was he pulling my leg, I wondered? Even after giving him a critical look, his expression remained entirely sincere, so I told him, “The fact that you had to ask why I called you that only further justifies it.”

“I still don’t get it.”

“Don’t worry, pal.” I patted him on the shoulder and walked out, and after glancing over my shoulder I added, “You’ll get it when you’re older. Trust me; it’s going to be a great story for the kids.”

“If you say so…”

I flashed another smile, and we headed downstairs to meet up with the girls without a word, giving Josh the space he probably needed to ruminate on his relationship. Or the properties of super-dense stellar objects. One or the other.

The moment I walked into the room, I threw my phone onto my bed with a flick of my wrist, followed by placing Cal next to it a touch more carefully. Side note: they still didn’t have a scabbard, because as it turned out, while the mini-shoggoths could easily assume the shape of one, the transformation got easily undone if they were, say, poked by the tip of a sword while being disguised as a sheath. Big surprise, I know.

But putting that aside, I placed both hands on my waist and carefully stretched my back. It was rather sore, but Angie was currently on a date with Josh, so I couldn’t exactly bother her with requesting a quick healing session.

“I’m back!” Penny called out as she entered the room and held out her hands. “I’ve brought an ice pack! Freshly cooled by Snowy!”

“Thanks.”

I accepted the pack without any reservations and placed it against my bruised back. Penny winced in surprise when I let out a pained hiss, and she looked genuinely remorseful for a second.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“I told you it’s fine,” I said and waved at her with my free hand before she could start apologizing again. It took half an hour to stop her the last time, and I certainly didn’t want to start all over again. “Ease up, kiddo. It wasn’t your fault. Injuries like this are expected when you’re doing full contact sparring.”

“Yes, but… I didn’t think you’d fly that far…”

Rolling my eyes, I shooed her through the door, and while she still looked conflicted, she soon left the room, finally allowing me to grimace all I wanted. Even with the cooler, the spot where I collided with the railing hurt a lot, and the worst part was that I had nobody to blame for it other than myself.

Long story short, after taking Elly out for a date in the morning and working with Fred in the afternoon, I decided to do something new, and in retrospect, foolish: to find out the limits of my sixth sense and physical capabilities, I convinced the knightly quartet to have a serious, four-on-one sparring session with me.

Needless to say, while they were only using their Uniformers and training weapons, I wasn’t fully geared up either. It was an inherently disadvantageous situation for me, and while that was kind of the point, I was woefully unprepared for just how hard I would be suppressed by four strong attackers focusing on me at the same time. Of course, Roland and Arnwald kept telling me how strong I was and how they had to run their Uniformers to the redline to fight me and so on, but I was pretty sure they were just trying to spare my feelings.

In any case, it was only a matter of time before my dodging instincts could no longer keep up with the simultaneous attacks, and it happened just when both Duncan and Penny were attacking me at the same time. I thought I picked the lesser of two evils by defending against the big guy, but it left me open to my sister, and she ended up sending me flying with an impractical roundhouse-kick, just to add insult to injury. The result must’ve looked pretty scary, considering how hard Penny had been apologizing about it, and while I certainly received a couple of nasty bruises, on the brighter side, I now had a firmer grasp on the limits of my abilities. That was a slim silver lining, but I was never picky about these things, so I took it anyway.

“Brother? You’re still wearing your clothes, right?” Penny suddenly called out to me from behind the door.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Just checking,” came the answer from the other side, followed by the sound of the doorknob being turned. Yet, contrary to my expectations, the one stepping through wasn’t Penny, but my other sister, holding a tray with a steaming plate on it.

“I brought some porridge and tea.” Snowy briskly walked in and put the platter down next to the keyboard on the desk before she turned to face me. “I think you should rest up tonight.”

“That’s the plan,” I responded with a smile, but her expression remained serious.

“Don’t do anything to make your injury worse, or I’ll have to call Judy and tell her everything.”

“… Am I being threatened right now?”

“N-No…” Her stern expression soon wavered, revealing the concern underneath. “Unless it works and you take better care of yourself, in which case… maybe?”

“That’s right! You need to take better care of yourself!” my other sister backed her up, but it only caused Snowy to pause and send her a sideways glance.

“Weren’t you the one who injured him in the first place?”

“A-Awawa! I-It was an accident! And brother said it wasn’t my fault! Right? Right?”

She was looking at me with eyes that were practically begging, so a shallow sigh later I obliged.

“I just bit off more than I could chew. It wasn’t her fault.”

“I understand,” Snowy whispered, but the critical look in her eyes didn’t thaw one bit as she addressed Penny again. “Even so, you should’ve been more careful. Leo is reckless, so as his sister, you have to look after him.”

“I-I’m reflecting on it…”/”I’m not reckless…” we spoke at once, and this time my Abyssal sister faced me with an odd expression.

“Then why does Judy keep telling you to be more careful?”

“Because she’s my girlfriend and that’s her job,” I joked, but she didn’t get it, so I added, “Well, fine, maybe I’m a tiny bit more careless than the national average, but it hardly matters at this point. It’s only a few bruises, so you shouldn’t worry about me and go play your video games or do whatever Penny came over to do this time.”

“Are… you sure you don’t need assistance?” Snowy asked for the last time, and when I shook my head and shooed them away, my sisters finally left my room, leaving me along with my porridge.

Normally I would’ve taken a shower first, especially after getting drenched in sweat during the sparring session, but since it was already here, I figured I might as well eat first. Thinking so, I picked up Cal, turned on my PC, and sat down in front of it with the sword in my lap.

“{Young knight, you must take better care of yourself.}”

“Oh, don’t you get started too,” I grumbled and pulled the plate over while the computer booted up. The porridge was just the right temperature, so I dug in right away, all the while listening to the chatty blade’s complaints.

“{I must insist! You might possess a hardy constitution, but challenging four of your knights in armed combat at once was nothing short of folly! You must not only consider your health, but also the impact your defeat had on the morale of—}”

And so on and so forth. I wasn’t really in the mood to listen to Cal’s lectures about kingly bearing and leadership qualities, but since I couldn’t bother Angie at the moment, having them around was the next best thing. Previous experiments had already proven that being in close proximity to Cal sped up my body’s natural regenerative abilities by an order of magnitude, and I was pretty sure that so long as I kept him on my lap overnight, most of the bruising would be gone by the morning.

It was unfortunate that ‘being in close proximity’ meant I could hear them rambling in my head, but there was no such thing as a free lunch, so I bore with it with a stiff upper lip. For the first couple of minutes, at least, at which point I decided to do a Far Sight roll call. Just out of curiosity. I wasn’t running away or anything, I swear.

So, since I already thought of her a couple of times, I started with Angie, and I found her chilling with Josh on the latter’s sofa, watching a movie together in their pajamas and cuddling. Cute. That said, it felt a little too early for sleepwear, so I exited from Far Sight and checked the time on the desktop.

“Huh. It’s already half-past eight…”

“{What was that, young knight?}”

“Nothing, don’t mind me.”

“{In that case, where was I? Oh, right! I implore that you fix your habit of—}”

Whatever the end of that sentence was, I had no idea, as I was already somewhere else. To be precise, I was looking down at the princess, sitting in front of a mirror cabinet while Melinda was brushing her hair for her. They were discussing our date in town, which in practical terms mostly meant Elly gushed about everything we did while her chambermaid listened to her with a stoic demeanor. She was definitely a professional.

I only lingered for a minute at most before moving on to my other girlfriend, and I found her in her room, with various articles of clothing scattered around the bed and chairs. Ichiko was also there, happily hopping around in her fox form while Judy mixed and matched her outfits, and I quickly realized they were trying to decide what she would wear on our date tomorrow.

We decided to have solo dates every once in a while like that, and now it was her turn. While I really enjoyed spending time with the three of us all together, I quickly recognized that trying to do everything collectively and going on group dates all the time would only tire us out in the long run, so we came up with this scheduling solution. This principle also applied to our sexy-times as well, and it was decided that I would have separate activities with the girls most of the time, reserving threesomes only for specific occasions. Like holidays. Or birthdays. Or Sundays. Or after successful group-dates. Or any occasion where we were all in the mood at the same time, really.

…

Now that I thought about it, there wasn’t much of a schedule after all, was there? Oh well. I figured that, since we were still in the honeymoon period, things were just extra-amorous, and once the novelty wore off, we’d get into a more regular groove.

Anyhow, since Judy wanted to surprise me with her outfit, I decided to skip her and move on. In rapid succession, I checked Ammy, who was busy texting someone, Mike, who was busy receiving texts from someone, Sahi, who was weight-lifting with her floaty magical hands, Lord Grandpa, who was reading a book in a rocking chair, and the various Draconians, who were busy with various martial arts things, finally closing it out with Crowey.

I only spent a significant time on the last one, as I caught him in the middle of an intriguing discussion.

“… this person? Did he really refer to himself as ‘Bel’?” he growled with his elbows on his desk, his gloved fingers entwined in front of his mouth.

There was a long moment of silence in the crowded office, currently housing most of the important vassals and subjects of House Inanna. I was more or less familiar with all of them, though the names often escaped me. At last, the person in the middle realized the question was addressed to her, and she hastily cleared her throat.

“Yes, my lord! That’s what our Celestial spies reported!”

The well-endowed young lady, along with her black-and-pink hair and the thick-rimmed glasses sitting on her nose, was an especially familiar sight to me. I’ve seen her many times while I was spying on Crowey, and while she was a genuine ditz, she also happened to be House Inanna’s spymaster. I had no idea how someone like her could reach such an important position, but then again, Crowey’s staffing decisions were none of my business.

“What else do we know about this man?” haggard man behind the desk pressed her with a dissatisfied frown, and she shrunk back at once.

“That’s… all, my lord. It was information only the higher echelons of the Celestial government had access to, and our agent only found out about it by chance. I’m afraid the only things we know about him is that the Celestials are wary of him and that he called himself ‘Bel of the Abyss’.”

“The audacity!” the elderly woman in the back scoffed with undisguised outrage. “How dare he use the name of the venerable Emperor of Tenebrous Flames!”

“Calm down, matron,” a middle-aged man in a navy officer’s uniform spoke up, and the grey-haired woman directed a thundering glare at him.

However, before she could respond, the irritating Abyssal Lord uttered an impatient “Silence.”

In a blink of an eye, everyone stood straight and faced the desk again. The silence in the room was heavy, and after a few long seconds, Crowey let his hands down with a severe expression.

“I want every single one of our agents topside to search for this man. Find him, no matter the cost, but be cordial. Do not antagonize him.”

“My lord!” the elderly woman blurted out in mild horror. “You can’t possibly think—”

“We cannot rule out the possibility,” Crowey cut her off with a face that said he’ll tolerate no further objections. “The Herald of the Emperor is still on that island, and just a few months after we discovered the boy, someone using the name of the Emperor also appeared there. That can’t be a coincidence. We must secure the Herald without the knowledge of the other Houses and ascertain the nature of this ‘Bel of the Abyss’ as soon as possible. Tajana.”

“Y-Yes, my lord!” the dual-haired woman in the middle stood at attention, and I was half expecting her to follow it up with a salute.

“Tell our people topside to arrange a transit portal to Critias.”

“I… With all due respect, my lord, that might take some time.” Crowey raised an irritated brow, so she hastily sputtered, “The dragonbloods are currently holding a meeting on the island, and the magi are on high alert. It makes operations on the island difficult, and—”

“Tell me, was I asking for excuses, or was I giving an order?”

“It was… the latter, my lord,” she answered, crestfallen. “I’ll try.”

“No. You do. There’s no such thing as ‘try’,” Crowey responded in a low voice, and that seemed to be the end of the meeting. Except…

“I know where that quote’s from!” the man with the bushy beard in the back exclaimed, prompting the old woman to roll her eyes.

“Of course you do. Everyone does.”

“Maybe, but I—!”

“Get out of my office,” Crowey positively growled, and in short order, all the subjects streamed out of the room in various degrees of rush. I waited for a minute or so to see if anything else would happen, but the resident Abyssal Lord was only silently cursing under his breath, so I left as well.

I’m not going to lie; it felt refreshing to catch an actually important discussion for once, even if the contents were more than a little troubling.

For a start, just after Josh’s hidden ‘chosen one’ status got threatened by the Grimoire Keys, the Abyssals also started to move with the express intent to get their hands on him. That said, considering the way the sorting algorithm of evil worked, I doubted Crowey himself would show up on our doorstep any time soon, but I decided to tell the recon teams to tighten up the security net in the city anyway, just to be safe.

More alarmingly, the name ‘Bel’ was apparently already taken, and by the freaking emperor of the Abyssals of all people. Just what were the chances of me accidentally picking that specific name in the heat of the moment? Not high, I reckoned, which meant two possibilities: either I was narratively influenced on the spot, or the dreaded Narrative decided to use my alter ego and build a plot around him. This would imply retconning Bel into the history of the world, but considering I’ve not only seen strong evidence of past retcons, but I was also personally responsible for one as well, I could hardly dismiss the idea.

If I had to point out one strong indicator for the latter hypothesis, it was that I’d never run into the name in any of the records, either in the Dracis library or the Celestial Hub. Speaking of the latter, I figured I might as well double-check the Hub, considering I was sitting in front of my PC already. Originally I wanted to see if there were any mentions of homunculi on the forums, hoping that one of them might shed some light on why being one was considered such a huge issue, but this had a higher priority.

I put Cal aside, much to their chagrin, and opened the site. To my surprise, searching the intelligence database didn’t give me a single hit, which was odd, considering there should’ve been at least a couple of files mentioning my Bel persona. This bothered me enough to manually leaf through a couple of high-priority folders, but to my further confusion, the closest thing to a mention I found was in the one about me, and even there he was only referred to as ‘Abyssal of unknown affiliation’.

That was more than a little odd, so I turned to my next best bet, the forums. My search there was definitely more fruitful, yet it only deepened my confusion. For context, I found nearly three hundred mentions of ‘Bel’ in the comments. That sounded promising, but then it quickly turned out that ninety-nine percent of them were using the word as an insult roughly on the same level as calling someone Hitler.

As for the remaining one percent, I found only a few sporadic mentions in an old thread, where a couple of history-buffs were arguing about how, during the Great War (no, not that one), Bel of the Tenebrous Flames shouldn’t have opened up a new front by attacking the neutral Magi, and how if the forces of the Abyss weren’t trapped in a deadlock with them, the Celestials wouldn’t have been able to land their armies at some place or another and liberate something and… yeah, this was pretty much just magical World War Two by another name, which meant that Bel was still Hitler even in this context.

“Goddamit.”

“{What is it, young knight?}”

“Nothing, don’t worry about it. I’m just exasperated over magical Hitler.”

“{I’m afraid I’m unfamiliar with this fellow.}”

“What? Ah, right. You were stuck in that stone for a while. Next time, ask Ichiko to turn on the Historic Channel and watch a documentary or something.”

Cal didn’t respond, but maybe for the better, as I was already lost in my thoughts again. In short, this settled it. ‘Bel’ was kind of a taboo word for the Celestials, and that’s why I haven’t encountered it before. That was a good starting point for a Watsonian explanation of what the hell was going on, but it shed little light on why I chose that name back during my first encounter with Duncan. Heck, I think I even had the ‘Tenebrous Flames’ part right, which pretty much ruled out any chance for it being a coincidence. I couldn’t have seen it before either, which meant this whole situation definitely had the Narrative’s fingerprints all over it.

On a less meta-level though, this revelation also created a lot of problems for me. Chiefly, my crazy alter-ego went from ‘dangerous individual of unknown origins’ to ‘potentially the second coming of not-demon-Hitler’, which just made my skin crawl. That said, this could either serve as an incredible card up my sleeve, or a spark ready to ignite a powder-keg that could blow up the whole island. Maybe… it was best to retire the persona after all, at least until I figured out more about the hubbub around this Abyssal Emperor fellow.

Just as I was thinking that, there was a chat notification, and since my brain was busy, my hand clicked on it on autopilot.

MoroseMoose: Hello, Admin.

Since I already opened the chat window, I figured I might as well respond.

Admin: Hi Moose. Do you need me for anything?

MoroseMoose: Actually, I do.

MoroseMoose: Can you tell me how I could mute Ninja?

Admin: …

Admin: What did he do this time?

MoroseMoose: He got a girlfriend, and can’t shut up about it.

As if on schedule, the chat window lit up again.

MoroseMoose: And now he’s here. :/

W1NG3DN1NJ4: HELLO ADMIN!!! GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!!!!! (* ^ ω ^)

W1NG3DN1NJ4: NO, REALLY!!! GUESS!!!

Admin: …

Admin: You are dating the Critias arch-mage’s granddaughter?

W1NG3DN1NJ4: NO, I’M DA

W1NG3DN1NJ4: WAIT, HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!?!!!!?? (＠_＠)

W1NG3DN1NJ4: MOOSE! DID YOU TELL HIM!????!

MoroseMoose: No, I didn’t.

MoroseMoose: You’re talking to Admin, remember?

MoroseMoose: It’s his job to know these kinds of things.

W1NG3DN1NJ4: AH!!! YOU’RE RIGHT!!!!1 Σ(O_O)

W1NG3DN1NJ4: I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT IT BECAUSE I’M SOOO HAPPY!!!!!1!1 (❤ω❤)

W1NG3DN1NJ4: IT’S ALL THANKS TO YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT, ADMIN!!! THANKS A BUNCH!!!!

Admin: I don’t remember ever doing that, but you’re welcome, and congratulations.

W1NG3DN1NJ4: TEEHEE!!! THANKS!!!!!!! (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)

Admin: So, since you’re online, how’s the report on Leonard Dunning coming along?

W1NG3DN1NJ4: I… WAS A LITTLE DISTRACTED, BUT I’M ON IT!!!! ( ￣ー￣)φ__

W1NG3DN1NJ4: I’VE GOT AAAAALLLLL KINDS OF JUICY INFO ON THE DRACONIAN CONFERENCE!!!

In reality, he only knew what he’d seen on the banquet and a few minor, insignificant details I shared with him, but Admin didn’t know that, so I pretended to be appreciative of his hard work.

Admin: Keep up the good work.

I wanted to keep writing, and slowly steer the conversation towards Bel, either the ‘of the Abyss’ or ‘of the Tenebrous Flames’ variety, but before I could finish my comment, I was startled out of my skin by a loud, beeping alarm. I glanced over at the phone on my bed, and once things clicked together, I roughly grabbed Cal and jumped to my feet in a panicked hurry.

That was the emergency ‘stranger danger’ app I installed on everyone’s phones way back when, and seeing the big red exclamation mark on the screen made me feel like there was a knot in my stomach. Ignoring Cal’s confused questions in the background, I tapped on the phone, and it displayed the ID of the sender. The knot wound even tighter, but after the first moment of shock subsided, I let go of the device, and before it could even hit the bed again, I was already out of the room.

A split second later, I reappeared in Judy’s room, and I was assaulted by a number of sensations. The window facing the street was completely broken, letting the cold winter air in. Speaking of air, there was a strange, kind of chemical odor in it; ammonia, with something of a sharp, metallic zing in it. More importantly, while my body registered all this, my eyes scanned around the room, and the knot in my stomach instantly undid itself the moment I laid my eyes on the deadpan, yet visibly rattled girl in the doorway. She was in her panda-print pajamas and had her phone in her hand.

“Hi, Chief,” she greeted me like we just met on the street and put away said phone, but before I could ask what happened, Ichiko in her miko form wormed her way past Judy and came to a screeching halt in front of me.

“Ue-sama! A vile evildoer tried to kidnap Judy-sama, but I stopped him!”

“Great job,” I answered on autopilot as my free hand patted the head of the little girl in front of me.

“That’s the gist of it,” Judy said as she closed the door behind herself.

“Are you all right?”

“I was mostly just startled,” she admitted. Seeing that I was expecting a more detailed account of the events, she shortly told me, “I went to sleep early tonight. A few minutes later, there was a noise coming from the window, and by the time I sat up, a man was in my room pointing a dagger at me.”

“The Raven knight?”

“He wore armor, so I presume it was him.” While she didn’t look too frightened, I took her hand into mine anyway. It must’ve reassured her, as she continued in a less strained tone. “He told me not to make a noise and come with him, but then Ichiko woke up and she attacked him from behind.”

“So it was a kidnapping attempt.” I glanced to my left, at the collapsed wardrobe, and added, “It also explains the collateral damage.”

She nodded and said, “They fought for a few seconds and made a ruckus, so dad came upstairs to see what was going on. He brought his shotgun too.”

“Ah, so that’s why the room smells weird. Did he miss?”

“No, he hit him, but I don’t think it did a lot of damage. At the very least, he could still jump out the window before father could reload the gun. He went chasing after him, but he should be back any time now.”

As soon as he said that, I could already hear footsteps in the hallway.

“Sunshine? Are you all—?” Judy’s dad tensed up the moment he opened the door, but it only lasted until he recognized me. “Leonard? What are you doing here?”

“Hello, Clarke. I’ve heard there was an attack and came over right away. Is everyone all right?”

“Yes, for the most part,” the moustachioed man answered and put his gun aside. “How did you get in here? And why do you have a sword? And… who exactly are you?”

That last question was aimed at Ichiko, but this was neither the time nor the place to get bogged down in long-winded explanations, so I turned to Judy instead.

“Dormouse? Can I leave things to you?”

“Sure. I’ll explain everything,” my girlfriend answered, followed by a sulky, “If it takes too long and I get circles under my eyes tomorrow, you’re not allowed to comment on them.”

“Never planned to.” Saying so, I planted a quick kiss on her forehead and turned to the open window, then, in front of Clarke’s confused eyes, I jumped out. I didn’t land on the ground though, as the moment I was outside, I Phased over to a nearby rooftop.

“Report.”

The Kage ninja stationed nearby, one of the semi-unique group Rinne brought over, twitched in surprise, but quickly regained her wits and fell to one knee.

“I greet the clan head.” I gestured for her to get up, and once she did, she continued with, “The unknown interloper escaped on foot. Tsubasa and Sakura left their posts to pursue him. I remained on standby.”

“How come you didn’t notice him breaking in?”

“He was using some sort of camouflage technique,” she explained in a hurry, sounding a touch ashamed. “We only became aware of his presence by the time he already entered the house, and before we could intervene, Honored Ancestor already engaged him in single combat.” She paused here and gave me a deep bow. “Please forgive our incompetence!”

“Stop that. You made the right call.” I waited for her to stop bowing, then added, “Can you follow their trail?”

“Yes, clan head!”

“Then do that. This place is safe for the time being, so having you stay here is a waste. Go after the others, and tell them to continue tailing the intruder from a distance. If he leads you to their base, set up an observation post, and wait for my arrival.”

“As you command!”

Without any further ado, the ninja woman leaped off the roof and disappeared into the night. As for me, I tightened my grip on Cal, and disappeared as well.

“General.” The moment I arrived, I called out to the elderly Faun sitting in a circle of his subordinates and playing poker of all things. That was good news for me. It meant everyone I needed was right here.

“[Blackcloak?]”

Brang put his cards down and stood up. The rest followed suit a beat later, at which point I told them, “Prepare the first raid team, and bring my armor.”

As expected from a professional, he didn’t ask a single question. He gave me a salute, wordlessly turned on his heel, and headed out. Most of the Fauns followed his example in a hurry and left the barracks, save for the big guy with the green dealer’s visor on his head.

“[What’s going on boss?]” Karukk inquired while collecting the tokens and cards in a hurry. “[Are we going to war?]”

“War? Not quite.” There was a long pause hanging in the air while I tried to formulate an answer that wasn’t just a long string of profanities, and once I reigned in the flame burning in my chest, I coldly stated, “I’m simply going to teach some idiots what happens if they cross a certain line…”