The Stars In Your Eyes - Chapter 221

It’s already 10 o’clock when Jian Kang Lu finally heard the rustling sound from the bedroom. He walked to the bedroom and saw his kitten sit on the bed, rubbing his eyes. Jian Kang Lu approaches his kitten, handing over a cup of warm water.

“Baby, drink first.”

Bai Yutang obediently took the cup and drank the water. He then raises his hand. Asking for a hug coquettishly.

Jian Kang Lu smiled and gave his kitten a warm hug. “Do you want to take a bath again?”

Bai Yutang nods. After Jian Kang Lu cleaned his kitten and dried him well, he took his kitten to the dining table and fed his kitten personally. He didn’t even let his kitten hold the spoon or pour his water into the glass..

Bai Yutang feels this Saturday is the best Saturday he had this year. It’s been so long since Jian Kang Lu pampered him like a 5 year toddler. He thought he hated how Jian Kang Lu treated him like that, but turns out he got used to it and now even longed to be pampered.

After Bai Yutang finished his chicken and egg porridge, Jian Kang Lu only gave him a smile and looked at his kitten, waiting for his kitten to finish drinking his water. Then he said, “Baby, if you don’t have anything to do today, why don’t you accompany me to the hospital? I need to meet my residents. I’m afraid you’ll get bored, but I’ll be very happy if you accompany me.”

Bai Yutang nods.

Jian Kang Lu’s heart ached to let his kitten spend another boring Saturday with him. Previously he rarely asks since his kitten will wait for 6 to 8 hours. Jian Kang Lu knows how boring it is to wait for someone that long.

Jian Kang Lu reaches for his kitten’s slender hand and kisses it. “I’m sorry, baby.. I know I have been neglecting you lately. Please bear with me. You know I’ll take my doctoral program next year, that’s why i need to fulfil all research requirements this year for i’m not sure i’ll have enough time once i start later on.”

Bai Yutang is actually a little bit embarrassed to act like a kid, asking for affection and attention. But he truly can’t manage to guard from his dark negative thoughts rooting in his brain if both of them keep interacting in this way.

He softly said, “I know, gege.. But I missed you too. Even though I just wait for you in the cafe, it’s okay. At least I can see you, gege.. I actually want to go with you every weekend, but I’m afraid I’ll disturb you.”

Then his voice got smaller, “I’m afraid you’ll think I’m clingy..”

Jian Kang Lu hugged his kitten tight. “I like you to be clingy. I love you to be clingy. It was me who was afraid to ask you to accompany me, afraid you’ll get bored with me, tired with me..”

Most people and relationship experts will oppose you for being clingy with your partner. Healthy relationship is said to be a relationship where two individuals have their own space. No one will advise you to live for your partner only. Humans need to interact with friends and relatives beside their partner.

One of the literature talking about this is To Room Nineteen by Doris Lessing, a Nobel winner in literature.

In this short story, Lessing writes about a woman who marries her husband in their late twenties and raises four children. When the youngest child goes off to school, the woman who grows old and quits her job to be a mother, does not experience the sense of freedom that she expected. She feels simultaneously as if she has nothing to do worth doing and never has a spare moment to herself. Her day is taken up in waiting for the children to come home, consulting with the maid or worrying about dinner. She becomes anxious and distant, pulling away from her husband, who begins to have affairs.

Finally, in order to get some time alone, she rents a hotel room every afternoon where she just sits and thinks. Her husband assumes she is having an affair and tracks her down.

The story itself is often dissected and talked about in the literature class. Is it talking about someone’s freedom? Is it talking about human’s struggle of maintaining their happy image for other people to see? Is it talking about depression?

What Jian Kang Lu caught in this story was everyone needed a room to breathe. This is what the woman in this story doing in the room she rent. She just need a room to be herself, without tied to her partner all the time. Freedom.

But Jian Kang Lu forgot, every individual is unique. Every relationship is different. Same person in a different time could even be seen as two different personalities.

Things that his kitten needs right now is not freedom or room to breathe, but to be together with him. Honestly, this is the biggest flattery for him. Even though people will say that two of them only live in their own world, it doesn’t matter. What works to other people doesn’t always work for another.

Bai Yutang confirmed with Jian Kang Lu. His soft voice whispered like a mosquito, “I’m the one who is afraid you’ll get tired of me if I keep following you, gege..”

Jian Kang Lu kissed his kitten’s forehead, “How come this old man got tired of seeing his handsome young boyfriend’s face?”

Bai Yutang smiled, “Then don’t get tired with me when I grow old.”

Jian Kang Lu caresses his kitten’s soft cheek, “Do i need to remind you, no matter how old you become, I’ll always be 15 years ahead of you?”

Jian Kang Lu then brought his kitten hand to touch his own tummy, “Can you feel this? As an old man, it’s very easy for me to lose my muscles. You keep feeding me delicious food, now I grow fat everywhere. Don’t throw me away when I turn into an old and fat uncle.”

Bai Yutang laughed. “Are you mocking me? Your abs are still better than mine. Don’t give me this tactic of lowering yourself to get flattery.”

Jian Kang Lu is still very very sour and angry to remember how Bai Yutang rumored to have a relationship with a bald, fat, old man. He is determined to get a hair transplant if someday he loses his hair. He won’t get bald, ever!

When they were driving to the hospital, Jian Kang Lu asked, “Baby, do you want to take your master degree next year? Together with me. We could go to school together.”

Bai Yutang was surprised to hear that. Actually he also thought about that. As a master degree holder, he could apply for a better architect license and many more job opportunities opened. To become a project manager, for example, you need a master degree.

The only thing hindering Bai Yutang to speak about it to Jian Kang Lu is, once again, money. To get a master’s degree means another 40,000 to 60,000 yuan per year. Master’s degree itself will take about two years.

Bai Yutang actually could afford it, since he didn’t need to worry about Bai Yuren’s tuition anymore. He just needs to reduce his mother’s monthly allowance.

“I’ll think about it, gege. That sounds great.” He finally said after calculating the cost he might need.

Both of them were smiling while looking at the streets ahead. It will be great to go to school together as students again.

———

In autumn, Lu Hua really wants to go to the fortune teller, asking why this year seems to clash with her birth horoscope.

First, her son rebel by saying he’s a gay and refuse to leaving Jian Kang Lu. And that devil who kidnaps her son, actually being really shameless, keeps coming to her house once a month even though she gave him silent treatment and cold shoulder.

And then, her father in law is sick.

Bai Haoran’s father, Bai Yutang’s grandfather, is 76 year old this year. This actually the average life expectancy in this country. He rarely gets sick, and lives quietly.

Because he rarely gets sick, everyone thought he only had a minor problem when he didn’t have an appetite. When he finally only stays in bed and doesn’t have energy to get up, Bai Yuren finally comes and checks her grandfather. She and Lu Hua bring him to the hospital, and it turns out he has pneumonia.

Old people actually could have normal temperature when they have a severe infection. The symptoms are sometimes only lethargy and lack of appetite.

His condition declined, affecting his kidney and liver due to the severe infection. He stayed in hospital for two weeks.

After being released, Lu Hua forces him to stay with her in her house. She didn’t want her weak father in law to feel neglected in her parent’s house. After all, her own parents, who are also old, can’t take care of him well.

Bai Yutang visited his grandfather twice that month. He even feels apologetic to Jian Kang Lu since they only celebrate Jian Kang Lu’s birthday in a very simple way, one short dinner in Il Mare.

After three weeks staying in their house, Bai Yutang’s grandfather once again said he doesn’t have an appetite. One day Lu Hua called Bai Yutang and lamented that she almost had a heart attack when she got home and didn’t find him at home. Turns out he is going out to visit Bai Yutang’s grandmother’s tomb, and also Bai Haoran’s tomb.

This incident led to Bai Yutang’s grandfather hospitalised again. This time, the pneumonia is so severe, it actually turns into sepsis. Sepsis happens when an infection triggers a chain reaction throughout the body.

He lost consciousness while hospitalised and admitted to the ICU. Bai Yutang came back to W city and even took three days leave to wait for his grandfather in the hospital.

One day suddenly Bai Yutang’s grandfather seems better and awakens. He is talking with his daughter in law and grandchildren, saying he wants to eat hairy crab if he is already released from hospital.

Two days after saying that, on a windy cold day, at the border of season changing from golden leaves of autumn to icy wind of winter, Bai Yutang’s grandfather passed away.