The Strongest is the King - Chapter 428
As the second Wang Haoyu, I don’t know the existence of the second personality Caesar Satan, although I always feel that I am in a very strange state when I wake up.
But I can’t tell what the blame is. I always feel that I may lack the memory of a certain period of time. However, these times are always scattered and fragmented, sometimes a few minutes, sometimes more than ten minutes.
In fact, it’s because I don’t know that everything is the ghost of the second personality Caesar Satan.
Because of his reasons, when I was in the first personality, as Wang Haoyu, sometimes I was in a deep guilt, unable to extricate myself.
Because, the reason of Caesar and Satan, the influence of the second personality, always let my mind involuntarily emerge the traces of Ouyang Zijun.
In addition, I think of Ouyang Zijun’s existence, so he can’t be forgotten in my mind any more.
In my heart, I’m constantly tangled and wandering. In my heart, Ouyang Zijun and Liu man are constantly tearing my heart. I feel that my whole person is on the edge of a crime.
And I don’t know how to weigh it.
If I choose to stick to Ouyang Zijun, that is to say, let myself live in the past all the time. I choose to hold on to a person who has passed away, but I am worried and will never let go, then it will be an irresponsible performance for Liu manlai.
Then, if I choose to insist on Liu man, I will feel that I have betrayed myself, the oath I once made with Ouyang Zijun.
Even though Ouyang Zijun has died and is no longer alive, he still lives in my heart. He always feels that he will be in the dark, watching me in the sky. Everything I do is in his eyes, so I always feel that I will deeply betray him and betray the memories between us.
Every time I think about it, I always feel that I’m a bad person.
Suddenly understand why their subconscious will want to forget the existence of Ouyang Zijun, will retire to erase that section, their deep-rooted, unforgettable memories.
I really don’t mean that I’m too cowardly. I’m just in that relationship. I used to have a relationship that was too deep. So the deeper I get into the relationship, the more I can’t extricate myself until I lose it. I even lose control and collapse.
Therefore, at that time, the blow was too heavy, so that I could not suppress my negative emotions, which led to the emergence of the second personality, so that a series of various things happened later, and even I deliberately blocked my memory.
It seems that only after I forget Ouyang Zijun, can I start my new life again and start my new life.
But as an orphan Ouyang Zijun, if you forget him, there should not be many people in the world who can remember her, or even not.
A long time ago, I heard a very magical story, that is, after people die, they will appear in another world, that is, a physical form appears, and they are also living like us now.
However, their existence, their physical form, does not exist with their image in our memory. That is to say, once it gradually becomes blurred in our mind, it will no longer exist in another world.
I don’t know if this story really exists, but I don’t want him to disappear in another world, so I’ve been persistent in my heart, leaving him a place.
Give some midnight dream back, always think of him from time to time, let him appear in my dream, at least there are people in this world still remember her, let him in another world can, rest assured, live his own life.
But these are just the real psychological activities in my heart, but I never dare to tell Liu man these things. I’m afraid that I will give him room for wishful thinking and any possibility of hurting her.
Although you have repeatedly told me that Ouyang Zijun has become the past, and I also understand that Liu man will become my present and future, but I can’t tolerate that I may give him any harm or even destruction because of my own reasons.
Since this is the case, the best way for me to deal with this matter is to choose to hide the most real thoughts in my heart and rot them in my stomach.
However, I don’t know that my self righteous behavior has given Liu man more room for suspicion, more space for wishful thinking, and even the previous sense of security has gradually disappeared.
Originally, I told them about my hospitalization, let brother Kun and you, and Ah Xiang, they don’t tell Liu man. However, the time I disappeared was too long, and it was so mysterious.
So Liu man finally found something fishy, uneven field and unusual.Finally, under the pressure of Liu man, I reluctantly admitted the fact that I was in the hospital, but I didn’t tell her why I went to the hospital, because I didn’t know.
Do you want to tell him directly, because he suddenly felt his head, very painful, and then coma in the past?
I think if I talk to him like this, he may be more worried.
“What’s the matter with you? Why is he hospitalized? Can you tell me? Don’t you know if I’m going to worry? ” Mobile phone Liu Man looked as like as two peas in the other side of the cell phone, but he said with no reason, obviously, his face was very careful.
“It’s really nothing. Don’t you see it? I don’t have any wounds. You see, I’m in good condition. ” I had no choice but to smile, pretending to look at him easily and said, itching, but my eyes could not help floating to other places, completely afraid to look directly into his eyes.
Liu man’s eyes are so clear that when I look into his eyes, I always feel embarrassed. I’m afraid that my guilty heart will be directly seen through by him, and then I always feel like a naked person. There is no secret in front of him.
Maybe it’s true, looking at my body without any wound scar, I slowly put down my heart, but the doubts in my heart always exist.
“I’m worried that you can’t see any wounds on your body. People like you, even if you have wounds on your body, you won’t directly video with me. Just like last time, I don’t want any secrets or any estrangement between us.” Liu man opened his mouth and said that there was no smile on his face. At the beginning, he gradually became serious.
“Originally, we were lack of contact, but now it’s even more like this. I don’t want to hide anything between us. This will always make me think wildly. I know you will understand.” Liu man then said, his eyes are full of seriousness, we can see that he attaches importance to and is responsible for our relationship.
However, the more he attaches importance to this relationship, the more I feel guilty, because I can’t tell him directly that Ouyang Zijun has already been remembered in my heart, and even my heart has begun to make room for him.
At this moment, I urgently hope that there are other things that can make my head empty.
To think about these complex and helpless things, I feel that everything I do will be wrong. No matter I incline to any side, the final result is not what I want. I can’t find the balance between the two people. I don’t know how to do it to ensure that Liu man won’t be hurt.
“There’s really nothing too big. If you ask brother Kun, I’ll be discharged in a few days, but I have a little cold. I still don’t believe me.” I continued with a smile on my face, trying to look as good as possible.
Looking at me like this, and knowing that I can’t ask anything from my mouth, Liu man can only reluctantly relax and pretend to believe me.
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