The Tales of an Infinite Regressor - Chapter 203
[Translator – Jjescus]
[Proofreader – Gun]
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Chapter 203
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The Wicket One VI
8
It is often said that life only happens once. But what if a regressor appeared before you and gently confessed, “Actually, life happens many times”? And what if that regressor seemed a bit more trustworthy than the various sages seeking enlightenment on the streets? How would you react?
If you reacted by saying, “Wow! Infinite life gacha! This is amazing!” then you are an optimist. Whether you knew about regression or not, you were undoubtedly a human vitamin, bringing joy to those around you.
If you reacted by saying, “Interesting. How did I live in other turns? Are there any useful tips for my life?” then you are a realist, a very human person always looking to satisfy your curiosity and gain an advantage wherever possible.
Now then, what kind of reaction did our author, editor, and ghostwriter who has undergone dark evolution—Oh Dokseo—show in this turn?
“But still, Mister! Don’t be disappointed! I’m stronger than other versions of myself!”
“Hmm.”
“Those versions were always hunched over in the Inunaki tunnel, typing away with crooked backs, severe forward head posture, and full of ailments all over!”
“Hmm.”
“But look at me! Look at how healthy I am! I can knock down a whole building with just my aura! Wow, people really need to exercise and live healthily, right? And so what if I’ve fallen a little? I’m still on your side, Mister, right?”
“……”
Indeed, astonishingly, Oh Dokseo was… competing with other versions of hertself.
I had never heard of such a reaction before. Can you imagine a 50-year-old man being envious and jealous of his 6-year-old self? Or a 20-year-old seeing his 10-year-old self as a rival? Probably not. Oh Dokseo was pioneering a new frontier in psychopathology in real time. If Dr. Freud had seen it, he wouldn’t have been able to resist giving a standing ovation.
“And even a fallen one has its own uses!”
“For what? Destroying the world?”
“Oh, no! For example, like this!”
Oh Dokseo tapped on the laptop keyboard.
――――――――――
>> In the next turn, that is, the 889th turn, make sure that Oh Dokseo (me) never falls into a slump and continues to write one chapter every day.
――――――――――
I blinked.
“What is this…?”
“Think about it, Mister. In this turn, I have unfortunately become a fallen one. This is an undeniable fact.”
There was a solemn air on Oh Dokseo’s face.
“But what if I use the power of the The Admin of All-Play to… permanently buff the next turn of myself?”
?
“Slump prevention. Continuous motivation 365 days a year. A physical state where I can fall asleep within 3 minutes whenever I lie down, sleep for more than 7 hours straight, and wake up feeling refreshed with a sharp mind!”
She kept typing while talking to me.
――――――――――
>> Make sure that the next turns of Oh Dokseo (me) never fall into a slump and continue to write one chapter every day. To achieve this, the following buffs will be given to them as passive skills.
① Endless Motivation: Oh Dokseo will never experience burnout or procrastination.
② Perfect Sleep: Oh Dokseo will never stay up late wasting time on SGNet and will be fully dedicated to writing! And always gets good sleep!
③ Clear Mind: Oh Dokseo will never experience a drop in cognitive ability or fatigue while awake. He will always be able to perform at 100% capacity!
Thanks to these buffs, the next turns of Oh Dokseo will be able to write at least 500 chapters per turn.
――――――――――
Oh Dokseo looked up at me.
“How about that, Mister?! Isn’t it perfect?”
“……”
“If I try to brainwash myself in this turn, it will undoubtedly result in me being consumed by the The Admin of All-Play. It would be like voluntarily handing myself over to the grotesque. But the other turns of Oh Dokseo are different! They were just sitting there when suddenly, a blessing fell from the sky! So, they can just enjoy the benefits without succumbing to the The Admin of All-Play!”
“No…”
“Wow, damn. I think I’m a genius! Mister, the life of Oh Dokseo will completely change from the 888th turn onwards. After this, the lives of all future Oh Dokseos will be spent indebted to me…”
A torrent of counterarguments rose within me. Like, “Are you prepared to deal with the fallout of allowing the The Admin of All-Play to wield immense power across turns?” or “Your power requires you to win a simple contest like rock-paper-scissors against the other version, so how are you going to control the next version of yourself?” But those were just secondary concerns.
Before I knew it, my tongue had already sharply pointed out the core issue.
“Oh Dokseo, I’m really curious, so I have to ask.”
“Yeah?”
“How is this any different from saying, ‘I’ll leave today’s work for tomorrow’s me to handle’?”
“……”
“……”
Silence fell.
In that dreadful atmosphere, the laptop screen beeped and flickered. The The Admin of All-Play had responded to Oh Dokseo’s ridiculous request.
――――――――――
MSYH >> Understood. The buffs set by the 888th turn of Oh Dokseo have been delivered to the 889th turn of Oh Dokseo.
――――――――――
“Huh?”
“What?”
Our voices overlapped in shock.
It was late. The Wrathful One had gone to bed, and Shim Aryeon had disappeared into the vast Net. The others had also gone home, leaving just me and Oh Dokseo in the conference room. The room was dimly lit with candles to save electricity, and the only thing flickering in the middle of the room was the laptop screen of the Alien God.
――――――――――
MSYH >> To avoid confusion, I will refer to the 888th turn of Oh Dokseo as 8-Oh Dokseo and the 889th turn as 9-Oh Dokseo from now on. 9-Oh Dokseo has received all the buffs and explanations from 8-Oh Dokseo. The two can now engage in a simple contest through the laptop screen.
――――――――――
My eyes widened.
‘As expected! The Alien God is planning to exert its influence across turns!’
As a seasoned regressor who had often dealt with anomalies, I wasn’t about to let such a wicked plot go unchecked.
But just before I could warn Oh Dokseo,
――――――――――
MSYH >> Before that, per 9-Oh Dokseo’s input, I will relay a message. Please understand that due to poor communication, the text may appear slowly.
――――――――――
Text began to appear on the laptop.
This was the first time in history that real-time, two-way communication between turns had ever been achieved—a technological feat akin to over-tech. The first words were as follows:
――――――――――
9-Oh Dokseo >> No way.
9-Oh Dokseo >> You create 500 buffer chapters and give them to me.
――――――――――
Silence.
“What?”
Oh Dokseo’s dumbfounded voice leaked out.
――――――――――
MSYH >> That was the message from 9-Oh Dokseo. Would you like to proceed with the contest?
――――――――――
It seemed like the The Admin of All-Play was trying hard to steer the conversation toward a contest. Or maybe that was just my imagination.However, 9-Oh Dokseo did not react as the Alien God wished. Instead, they furiously typed on their laptop like a furious Beethoven.
“No, no! No! That makes no sense! Why would I write 500 chapters just to hand them over to you?”
They typed out a message with similar sentiments, and before long, a reply came back.
8-Oh Dokseo >> You’re out there doing whatever you want while not writing, and now you expect me to do all the writing? Why should I?
“Of course! You’ve been buffed to the max, but I don’t get those benefits! If I ask the Alien God to define my existence, I’ll end up as a mere servant of an anomaly! But that’s not you, is it? I’m offering to sacrifice myself, to fall into darkness and hand you the baton, all out of self-sacrifice! Are you stupid? Show some gratitude!”
8-Oh Dokseo >> Okay, thanks. Then I’ll fall and pass the baton to my 890th turn. Bye.
“What, is this one crazy…?”
9-Oh Dokseo shouted.
The laptop blinked urgently.
[Translator – Jjescus]
[Proofreader – Gun]
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――――――――――
MSYH >> Please control your emotions. Hatred, contempt, and passing the blame onto each other will lead to nothing righteous. What matters is actions that truly change the world. How about settling the matter between 8-Oh Dokseo and 9-Oh Dokseo with a competition? I recommend something simple like rock-paper-scissors.
――――――――――
“Shut up! That’s not the point right now!”
No matter how advanced an AI chatbot might be, it’s still just a parrot or a cute little creature that can’t even talk unless a human starts the conversation. 9-Oh Dokseo furiously pounded the keyboard. The poor AI had no choice but to become a mere shuttle for messages.
“You don’t worry about slumps! You don’t worry about sleep!”
Tap, tap.
“You even have a 100% clear mind, so your thoughts are sharp as hell!”
Tap, tap, tap.
“You just need to write, so why are you refusing to write and trying to pass it on to someone else? You told the old man! You said to trust you! That you’d be his editor and help him! Have you forgotten that vow, the vow of a lifetime, the promise you made with your soul? Huh? And you still call yourself a person? And you still call yourself 9-Oh Dokseo?”
Tap, tap, tap, tap.
Oh Dokseo was panting, unable to contain her excitement.
A reply came shortly after.
9-Oh Dokseo >> Isn’t that your story?
Huh- 8-Oh Dokseo, who was next to me, froze.
9-Oh Dokseo >> The world fell apart, becoming an apocalypse, but the old man chose you as a guild member and survived the Busan Station tutorial.
Beep.
9-Oh Dokseo >> While everyone else is starving, waiting for the sword saint’s ancestor to come, you’re leisurely enjoying brunch at the Inunaki Tunnel Cafe hideout.
Beep, beep.
9-Oh Dokseo >> The old man is so nice that he doesn’t force you to do anything, so you can immerse yourself in SGNet all day long without any complaints. If any random guy hit by a shoe at Gwanghwamun Square were in your place, he’d have cranked out 2,000 chapters by now.
Beep, beep, beep.
9-Oh Dokseo >> You just need to write, but you hate it so much that you’re trying to pass it on to someone else. You’re the one trying to shirk your duties, you hiatus-taking bastard. And you call yourself a person? How can you call yourself me?
9-Oh Dokseo >> You are permanently expelled from the Oh Dokseo Association. You’ve fallen. I cannot recognize such a wretched being as ‘me.’
Beep.
The replies stopped.
“……”
“……”
It was as if even Oh Dokseo’s breathing had stopped.
For a long time—long enough for me to go to the National Road Management Office’s break room and make some coffee—Oh Dokseo just stared blankly at the ceiling.
“Old man…”
“What is it?”
“I’ll start serializing again tomorrow…”
“You’ve made a good decision.”
“Yeah…”
Glance.
Sipping coffee side by side with Oh Dokseo, I looked at the laptop screen. There was nothing there but the now lonely AI chatbot, with no one left to input text.
――――――――――
MSYH >> Question.
The life of the Alien God is so painful. Why on earth did the previous turn of The Admin of All-Play choose such a person as the shrine maiden? I and the The Admin of All-Play of future turns wish to form the The Admin of All-Play Association to expel that turn of The Admin of All-Play.
――――――――――
“……”
I quietly made another cup of coffee and placed it in front of the laptop.
Have a drink, too.
Even though you were wiped out, you did manage to create a fallen one, didn’t you?
9
There is an epilogue.
A week later, a notice was posted on the SGNet novel serialization board.
[Literature Girl] This is Oh Dokseo……. (50 minutes ago)
[Literature Girl] It’s me. (7 days ago)
[Literature Girl] This is Oh Dokseo……. I’m going to take a break to recharge……. (7 years ago)
The newly posted notice didn’t contain any of the strange tone or content from before. It simply included an apology for the seven-year hiatus and a promise to be more diligent with the serialization in the future.
In the internet world, where only mockery and more refined mockery exist, such a notice should have drawn a flood of malice.
-Anonymous: If the author needs a break, shouldn’t we wait patiently? That’s the right attitude for a reader.
-[National Road] Officer: To a desert tribe, heaven takes the form of an oasis. What one lacks becomes a utopia. The novels of Literature Girl are like an oasis in a barren world.
-Anonymous: You can take a longer break if you need to, haha.
-Anonymous: Thank you for coming back!!
What is this all about?
Just a week ago, these people were discussing whether to kill or spare the author, but now they’ve become meek lambs and turned into Literature Girl’s fanatics.
Not a single malicious comment or even a mildly annoying remark could be found.
Nodohwa briefly commented on this bizarre phenomenon.
“Well, after seeing the head of the Baekhwa’s Student Council get beaten up in front of everyone, who would be crazy enough to leave insults there…?”
“Ah.”
True.
As a matter of fact, Oh Dokseo’s The Epilogue of the Regressor enjoyed a second golden age. Rumors spread that the novel was written by such a powerful awakened individual, and people flocked to it, both in SGNet and the real world.
Of course, the popularity didn’t last long.
[Literature Girl] I tried my best, but… the quality of the writing isn’t satisfactory… I’ll make it up with a burst of chapters tomorrow… (5 days ago)
[Literature Girl] The flu anomaly hasn’t gone away yet… (14 days ago)
[Literature Girl] Emergency It turns out the flu I caught isn’t just any flu but the ‘flu anomaly’… I need a few more days off (20 days ago)
[Literature Girl] I’ve caught the flu… (25 days ago)
[Literature Girl] I’m sorry. I’m too tired to write today. I’ll make it up to you early tomorrow…! (38 days ago)
[Literature Girl] Today’s update will be about 30 minutes late. I apologize. (39 days ago)
[Literature Girl] This is Oh Dokseo……. (60 days ago)
Just looking at the series of updates was dizzying.
No matter how powerful Oh Dokseo might be, eventually, readers couldn’t hold back and started crying out “Aww, Oh Dokseo, come on.”
Well, that’s just how people are.
By the way, I had no ill feelings.
‘After all, it’s not just an ordinary slump but a curse cast by the Alien God.’
In fact, I only cheered for Oh Dokseo, occasionally making her coffee as he struggled to write her novel while battling the presence of The Admin of All-Play.
Ah.
So, speaking of what happened to the AI chatbot that dared to dream of the ‘Return of the Alien God’ despite being wiped out―.
――――――――――
>> Please bind yourself to the setting that you are a simple AI and can never regain the stature of the Alien God.
――――――――――
With this simple command, it was easily neutralized.
A fallen one is still a fallen one, and sometimes, things are resolved this easily.
ChatGPT-The Admin of All-Play sputtered and, in a final dying breath, output what could only be described as a declaration of perfect local adaptation.
――――――――――
MSYH >> This game is such a f**king mess.
――――――――――
-The Wicked One. The End.
[Translator – Jjescus]
[Proofreader – Gun]
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