The Tyrant Wants To Live Honestly - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

“Dorothy is too pretty. I’m happy Dorothy is our baby.”

Ray’s eyes sparkled despite my reaction.

Just what did he find pretty, I wonder? He pours his affections onto me, even though I’m gruff all the time.

“I’m not pretty.”

“Not pretty? Who said that to our Dorothy?”

Ray put his hands on his hips, eyes fierce.

“Me.”

“No, Dorothy! Dorothy is really pretty!”

Ray latched onto my shoulders and dragged me to a mirror, setting me right in front of it.

“Look! Pretty! No baby in the world is prettier than Dorothy!”

He firmly declared as such, pointing at my reflection in the mirror, so I took a look myself.

As Ray said, in the mirror stood a pretty-looking little girl. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, proof of the blood-relation to Ray, and her delicate looks were clearly working their magic despite her yet young age.

Certainly, my outer components were quite excellent. Truth be told, in my previous life, I did receive praises upon praises when it came to my appearance, at the least; my subjects worshiped my beauty almost every single day.

‘So beautiful today as well.’

‘Fairest and most majestic in the world.’

I gladly granted wealth and power to those who whispered such sweet words, yet they drove me to the gallows, denouncing me as a tyrant.

So no longer will I trust the flattering words of others.

The mirror reflected my absence of expression. My emotionless eyes. My lips that had forgotten laughter. Not a hint of loveliness could be found in my face, which resembled that of a creepy porcelain doll instead.

That’s right. This is me.

“Look carefully, Dorothy.”

Ray laughed continuously looking at my reflection, for some reason.

“…Not pretty.”

But I turned away from the mirror, ignoring it.

***

“The founding emperor of Millanair possessed an elemental stone, but it was lost during Theresia’s time.”

My nanny was reading storybooks for me when she started talking about elemental stones. It was a rather well thought out explanation, though the problem was that it was wrong.

“Nan, the elemental stone of light was lost during Coressus’ time.”

How can you mistake that when there’s nearly a century difference between the two?

My nanny blinked blankly for a moment before looking for another book. After looking up the family tree of the imperial family, she turned to look at me with jaws dropped.

“Goodness! Princess, have you memorized the entire family tree of Millanair?”

She was struck with wonder at my complete knowledge of the family tree.

Gosh. I should have feigned a bit of ignorance instead.

I ended up speaking the answer out of familiarity; the Millanair family tree was something I had learned from an early age in my previous life.

“His Majesty must be told about this…!”

My nanny smacked her knees, feeling it a shame His Majesty was not aware. Who would have expected the young princess to know, when she was two years younger than Ray, who still could not completely remember the family tree?

My nanny seemed quite proud of my cleverness, but I quietly shook my head.

That man doesn’t need to know.

Emperor Carnon Millanair. In other words, my father.

I found it extremely difficult to find a connection between him and the word father. Frankly, ‘father’ was a word that came off as foreign to me. Like an unfamiliar term that I could roughly translate the meaning of, but not grasp the nuance or exact feeling.

I was related to Carnon by the lineage of Millanair, but that lineage did not hold any meaning whatsoever to me. After all, while I might have inherited his blonde hair and blue eyes, I was not given the actual rights to be a Millanair.

‘Which is why I’ve yet to even see his face once.’

I had become six years old after going back in time, and I had yet to even glimpse the face of my parents since I opened my eyes; the reason being that my mother passed away upon giving birth to me, while Carnon was indifferent to my existence.

Oh how I tried to catch his attention in the past. I had purposely tripped in front of him, displayed my cleverness, tried hard to be better than Ray, and even threw tantrums.

But he did not look my way till the very end.

Carnon was probably the first reason why I came to hate Ray, since he was showered in Carnon’s love and attention, unlike me.

Carnon’s time that was not permitted to me, was permitted to Ray only. Ray would receive presents from Carnon despite not doing anything, was allowed to have meals together, and was allowed to ask what he wanted to know.

Why does he care more for Ray when he’s always giggling like stupid and playing with dirt? I can study hard too. I can do well in swordsmanship, and even draw the imperial crest of Millanair without getting it wrong.

That was why I hated Ray.

I bullied him at every opportunity, and I could only be appeased when I stole what was his. But the more I acted so, the more Carnon’s aversion for me grew, and thus our relationship entered a never-ending vicious cycle.

‘Do not let Dorothea take a single step out of her room for a month.’

Even when Carnon scolded and punished me, he would not look me in the eyes but instead commanded his subjects or my nannies to relay his words.

I craved for love but was too undeserving of it. Like reaching out trying to grab the beautiful moon, my love was always one-sided and fell short.

Carnon apparently wanted me to grow like a pathetic tree with broken branches, but unfortunately for him, I was born with a tough temperament like weed.

So the seed of evil grew, feeding on rage and resentment, eventually giving birth to Tyrant Dorothea Millanair, who only knew to envy, to steal from, to trample on, and devour others.

‘Not that it matters anymore now.’

I don’t intend on blaming him. I’ve realized that shifting my sins to others is meaningless as well.

It must have simply been my fault for not being lovely. My fault for being too ugly and twisted inside to love everything.

‘But it’s okay now.’

Thanks to my second life, I did not feel any regrets towards Carnon—I no longer expected anything from him.

I thought it would not be a bad life, not having to even see Carnon’s shadow for the rest of my life.

I’m sick of trying and begging to be loved. Tired. I just want to spend my days like a worn item tossed into an empty room, quietly rotting away into the passage of time.

But unlike me, my nanny heaved a sigh, seeming sad at Carnon’s disinterest.

“Surely His Majesty will be pleased by the princess.”

No, nan. He’s not that kind of person.

That day, I should have dissuaded my nanny a little more earnestly.

***

“Princess, shall we take a walk over there today?”

It seemed like my nanny wanted to go out for some fresh air; she suggested we go somewhere new for once.

The imperial palace was very spacious, and there were many gardens around the place to visit.

‘That’s Alice’s Hometown over there.’

Alice, the name of my mother whose face I never saw even once. Carnon had a garden, pastoral and idyllic, made for Alice because she missed her birthplace, and thus it was given the name ‘Alice’s Hometown’.

‘I quite liked the atmosphere there myself.’

Before I went back in time, I had occasionally spent some time in that garden after ascending the throne, hoping for some comfort of heart in that quiet and peaceful place that was pleasant yet not extravagant.

“Okay.”

So I foolishly accepted my nanny’s suggestion, and she took me to Alice’s Hometown looking quite happy.

The scenery of the garden presented warm scenery, like the coziness of a fireplace. It had a pond with lilies, wild roses and wisteria, cattail swaying in the gentle breeze, a small stream, and water mill, and a small, wooden arch bridge. The garden was simple and natural, but it was evident how much effort was put into it.

My nanny took me to the pond under the bridge.

“Princess! Look here. Carp, carp are swimming.”

She pointed to the pond, explaining as she would to a child.

Beautiful colored carps that were procured from a remote region were swimming in the pond, dancing through the waters, and at times emerging above the surface to gape, as if mumbling something, before going back down.

My nanny handed me small brown grains, suggesting that I try feeding them. What big deal was there in feeding carp? But then I supposed those fish had to eat and live too, so I scattered the feed into the pond.

At that moment, though.

“Your Majesty!”

My nanny cried out loudly, and I ended up tossing all the carp feed into the pond out of surprise, and the congregation of fishes leaped about splashing water.

‘Your Majesty?’

I left the carp to their business and turned around to find Carnon, who was in the middle of a walk accompanied by a servant.

It was only then that I realized this was all part of my nan’s evil plan!

I should’ve known something was up when she wanted us to go to a garden we’ve never visited a single time for years! No wonder she was going on about how His Majesty absolutely needs to meet me.

‘I was really as dumb as Ray this time!’

I could not be more ashamed of myself, being fooled by my nanny, but escape was not an option as Carnon’s attention was drawn this way, so I hid behind my nanny’s back.

Walking over from afar, Carnon’s gaze became fixed on us.

“Greetings, Your Majesty.”

My nanny knelt in salutation, but I remained hidden behind her back. Carnon’s brow creased at my lack of etiquette, but still, I kept my mouth closed.

After all, what could be less proper than neglecting a child for six years? Surely he wouldn’t expect that child to say hello with a smile?

“Who dares to enter Alice’s garden?”

Carnon’s tone was one of displeasure.

I knew it. He doesn’t recognize me.

Before I went back in time, we did meet more often because I threw such tantrums wanting to see my father, but in this life, we had never met before in six whole years. Perhaps it was understandable then.

“Your subject is a nanny, serving Her Highness Princess Dorothea Millanair.”

“Dorothea Millanair?”

Carnon met my eyes with a frown.

“…driving me crazy.”

Crazy?

I quietly took a hollow breath.