The Unknown Goddess: A Naruto Fanfic - Volume 1 Chapter 11

Hiruzen found himself staring at the young blonde in front of him. Her eyes were devoid of any emotion as per usual. Her mouth was a tin line and her brows were furrowed. He wondered what was transpiring in that head of hers. She was an odd one, Athena. She went missing for hours on end and just appeared in his office as if she didn’t become a ghost. She didn’t speak of her whereabouts or why she explored on her own. She made it very clear that she wasn’t interested in sharing her private expeditions in the village.

The old man sighed as the silence stretched to uncomfortable length. It’s a first knowing a child that makes almost no noise. She’s always quiet and reserved. She doesn’t seem to care about anyone or anything at all. Including herself. He has been informed of her reckless behavior during her training. She didn’t care about hurting herself and seemed indifferent to the dangers around her. Such a child was an inigma and Hiruzen did not know how to confront her. She wasn’t like Naruto, who was cheerful despite his situation. Most often than not she gave off a somber aura.

How does one go about such a child?

“Athena ”

Emotionless eyes stared up at him. She didn’t seem interested in whatever he wanted to say. He didn’t know if that was what she was feeling at the moment or not. It’s unnerving feeling those eyes on him. To see such lack of emotion on a child’s face.

“Care to tell me why you ventured off on your own? ”

Silence.

Athena only stared at him. Not once did any form of emotion cross her face or enter her eyes. Hiruzen was almost convinced she was incapable of experiencing any. But he knew she could. He saw it himself. It was a beautiful and rare sight.

“No”

The old man took a puff of his pipe. He continued to stare at the five year old and she met his gaze unwavering.

“Athena” he sighed. “It isn’t very wise to disappear like that”

“I’m aware of that old man” her voice was flat and devoid of any hint of emotion. Hiruzen was slightly impressed with the child’s skill in containing her emotions. She’d make  a great ANBU. “I can’t find it in myself to care or worry about that factor”

“You are a very odd child ” another puff of hid pipe. “I suppose we can move on for now. Guy has informed me  of your progress. He’s quite impressed with your growing skill. He plans on teaching you a very powerful taijutsu skill”

“The eight gates”

Hiruzen blinked and sighed again. Of course. He was a fool for thinking Athena was unaware.

“Yes. He finds you worthy and strong enough to learn and fully master the technique”

Athena raised an eyebrow.

“But? ”

It seems she already sensed the afterthought before it even left the Hokage’s lips.

“Your indifference to your own wellbeing concerns me and I fear that learning such a technique with your mindset could be dangerous for you”

Athena didn’t seem impressed.

“I’m going to assume you don’t care about the danger”

Athena nodded.

“What could have possibly developed this indifference in you? ”

Athena frowned and crossed her arms. Finally an emotion crossed her eyes. Sadly Hiruzen failed to identify it for it was non existent the second it was introduce. Athena uncrossed her arms and started to play with her necklace with a far off look in her eyes. Hiruzen didn’t know if she was aware of it or not, but she was slowly rocking back and forth as she stared past him.

~~~~~~~~~

Hiruzen’s question bounced around in her head and memories resurfaced. Her grip on her necklace tightened to the point where her knuckles were white. She didn’t like the feeling that tried to take hold of her. Dread bared his claws and was approaching her at frightening speed. She hated it. She hated the memories. She hated her emotions. She hated it all. She just wanted to forget and live her new life like a normal child. As normal as one could be in this world. Is that too much to ask? Does she not deserve that?

She wanted to run. She wanted to hide. She wanted to crawl into her bed and hide under her sheets. The urge was childish, but it couldn’t be helped. She was a child. A child that was trying her very best to see the worth of life. To find something, someone to live for. So she attached herself to those she respected and made it her goal to protect and help them. Apparently her resolve wasn’t strong enough. Her will was bending and on the verge of snapping.

She was going to panic. She could feel it. She needed to leave. She wanted to be anywhere but there at the moment.

She silently slid out of her seat. Her feet were weak for some reason and she stumbled before finding her balance. She ignored the calls of the concerned old man as she left the office and the building.

She stumbled out of the building and into the busy streets of konoha. Her breathing was shallow as she weaved through the bodies around her. She was deaf to the world as she let her feet carry her away. She didn’t care about where she would end up. She didn’t care about the darkening sky. She didn’t care about anything at the moment. Memories flooded her head rapidly. Images she tried to bury. Images she did bury. As deep as she could. It wasn’t deep enough. They arose and her feelings returned with a vengeance. Happiness abandoned her, leaving her to fend for her own. Kindness betrayed her and fled as soon as she could. Will couldn’t hold on anymore and was slowly breaking.

She hated it.

She needed something to hold on to. An ounce of hope. Kindness. A slither of joy. Anything that would stop the memories and emotions. She just wanted warmth to shield her from the cold that was slowly taking her.

“Senju? What are you doing here at this time of day? ”

She weakly looked up at the light eyed a.d.u.l.t standing in front of her. It seemed her feet had lead her to the Hyuga estate.

“Hinata” she whispered under her breath. “I want to see Hinata”

The overwhelming urge to see the young Hyuga was almost painful.

She was unconscious of following Hiashi. Of passing by many Hyuga clan members. Unconscious of passing a critical Neji. Under normal circ.u.mstances she would approach him. Acknowledge his existance. Try to become his friend and prevent him from going down the same path. But at the moment those thoughts weren’t familiar to her.

Will was quickly losing. Preserverance had died. Resolve was cowering. And hope ran and hide.

All her emotions are cowards. Not strong enough to face the past. What did she expect? They were her emotions after all.

She stood in an open doorway. Staring at the ground. Her fists were in her pockets. She was biting the insides of her cheeks trying to withhold the tears.

“A-Athena? ”

The familiar voice brought her some comfort. She looked up, meeting lavender eyes. A sound left her throat as she pushed herself into an unsuspecting Hinata. Tiny arms slipped around her and held her securely.

Warmth.

“A-Athena? What’s w-wrong? ”

Athena said noting to enlighten the confused Hinata. She gripped onto her tighter, craving her comforting warmth.

“Emotions”

~~~~~~~~~

Hinata was confused. She was sure she wouldn’t be seeing Athena anymore for the day. For a couple of days even. She wasn’t expecting her to fall into her arms seeking comfort. As confused as she was she was even more worried. Athena wasn’t one for physicality. At least that’s what she said. And that’s what it felt like when she first hugged her. Now she encouraged it. She held onto her tightly as if she feared letting go.

Emotions?

Were her emotions overwhelming her again? She frowned. She was hoping such a thing never occured again. She may not have known the blonde for long but it still pained her to see her in this state. She looked like she could easily break. She was on the brink of tears and clutching onto her clothes in a desperate attempt to stop them.

Her father had left. Leaving them alone. Hinata carefully moved towards her bed. Once she was on it Athena climbed into her lap, never once letting go or adjusting her grip.

“Athena”

She felt a dampness on her shoulder. A sob racked the normally composed Athena as she let the tears fall. Hinata held her tight. Comforting. She could feel her own tears well and threaten to fall. She didn’t want to cry. Right now Athena was relying on her. She trusted her enough to come to her. To hug her despite her discomfort with the human touch.

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know if she should say anything. She just held the blonde and let her cry. It was more than enough. She had questions, but she knew they could upset Athena. She was already this emotional.

She was so happy earlier. They sparred like she promised. Athena was an amazing fighter. The thought of being on equal grounds with her was foreign and seemed impossible, but Athena was impressed and happy with Hinata’s skill. She didn’t criticize. She didn’t break down all her fualts. She didn’t push her. She was gentle and kind and encouraging. She was happy.

Seeing her utterly broken was unexpected and painful. Holding her in her arms was all she could do at the moment.

Athena’s sobs stilled. Hinata didn’t know if she was still crying or not. She was silent and made no move to lessen her grip or climb off her. She seemed content with her position, which made Hinata joyous.

“Thank you” Athena’s voice was barely a whisper. At that moment she sounded so fragile. Not at all like the confident girl she was earlier. A drastic change.

“I didn’t do anything ”

“You did more than you realize” Athena hid her face in the crook of Hinata’s neck. “And you didn’t stutter just now ”

Hinata was suddenly self conscious and embarrassed by the statement. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree and that is when her stutters returned.

“I-i-i.. I me-mean… Uh.. ”

Athena laughed quietly. Hinata smiled despite herself. At least Athena wasn’t so sorrowful anymore. It’s nice hearing her laugh.

“It came back”

“I-I-I’m s-sorry”

“No need to apologize. I have no problem with your stutters”

“Um… What… What w-was bothering you? ” Hinata wanted to know. She was afraid of asking the question. She didn’t want Athena to break down again, but she really wanted to know what put her in such a state.

“Lots of things bother me everyday” was the answer she received. Athena was evading the question. Hinata didn’t want to push. If she didn’t want to tell her she wouldn’t inquire further. “Today I had a rush of memories I tried to bury and with it came unwelcome emotions. I’m not used to confronting or handling my emotions so when multiple make themselves known I get overwhelmed. Today it was much worse than usual ”

“Are you feeling better now? ”

Athena nodded. She was now drawing circles on Hinata’s back as an idle distraction. “I needed something or in this case someone to hold onto so I found myself here seeking your warmth and comfort”

Hinata sighed relieved that Athena was feeling a bit better. Something unknown filled her very being when she realized that Athena came searching for her in her moment of crises. It made her feel truly special.

“I’m sorry if I inconvenienced you”

“It’s ok” Hinata smile reassuringly, although Athena could not see it. “I’ll always be here to help”

Hinata felt Athena’s grip tighten again. Desperate once more.

“Please make that a promise”

“I promise”