The Villainess Is Shy In Receiving Affection - Chapter 42

Melody added an explanation in simpler words in case her mother didn’t understand her.

“It means that I will leave if you keep on talking as you please.”

As expected, her mother must have not fully understood Melody’s words. She looked lost for a moment, shocked when she heard that Melody was leaving her.

“I don’t want to talk about anything else.”

Melody didn’t even feel the need to explain why she didn’t want her to apologize. She didn’t want to see the face of her mother as she reflected on her past with her long-held wounds and suffering. Is this being cold hearted? Even if she was, it felt good.

“Melody, I…”

“I decided to try to be normal.”

It was true that she received others’ ‘sympathy’ until now due to her imperfect past. Didn’t Isaiah tell her just now? He asked her if the Duke’s family did not feel ‘sympathy’ for her even after seeing Melody’s situation.

“There is only one thing mother can give me.”

Melody felt her heart quiver somehow.

‘The day I was born.’

She always tried her best not to be curious about it, dismissing it as ‘nothing’, but she was eager to know. Every time the other kids show off their birthday gifts, every time the other kids hand out their cakes on their birthdays, whenever other children ask each other when is their birthday and see who was older and younger – Melody had to shut her mouth like a clam and repeat the words ‘spring, yellow spring flowers’.

“Tell me the date I was born.”

Melody stared quietly at her mother after the question. She (mother) only blinked her eyes helplessly.

“… Uhm.”

She also seemed to be feeling troubled. It immediately gave Melody a bad feeling.

“Melody, about that.”

It sounded like she was about to start saying excuses. Even so, she seemed to have some kind of answer to Melody’s question for now.

“I was kicked out of the capital when I was pregnant with you….”

That’s what she said every time she got angry and intimidated her. That, had it not been for Melody, she would have been a great hostess in the capital.

“I wasn’t in my right mind at that time. I had no money and place to live.”

It seemed natural to feel pity towards her with her string of excuses. It wouldn’t have been easy to live like that while she was pregnant.

But Melody shook off those feelings and asked her again.

“So, when was it?”

“…”

Her mother pursed her lips tightly and repeatedly grasping and letting go of the iron bars – for a long time. She answered in a barely audible voice.

“I… also don’t know.”

“…”

Oh, as expected. Melody was reminded of her mother’s situation and her personality. At that time, Melody was nothing more than the ‘lump that made her get kicked out of a wealthy house’. It was definitely still the same now. Therefore, there’s no way that she would accurately remember the day the mass of burden was born.

But still, they say that giving birth is a special day. It was only once in a mother’s life, so she thought that her mother would remember the date.

‘I shouldn’t have expected that.’

It seems that she should just do as the mailman suggested to her, to choose a day she likes and call it her approximate birthday.

‘I didn’t want to do that.’

She thought there would be lingering attachment left despite her best efforts to ignore it. She didn’t want to worry people around her because she had gloomy thoughts for no reason even on a fully celebrated day. She already appreciated the sympathy she received, and Melody also wants to walk on a good path by herself.

“I… see.”

Melody turned around without any hesitation. She no longer had anything to do with her mother.

“W, wait! Are you really going? This might be the last time you see your mom!”

A panicked voice came from behind.

“How can I remember which day you were born?! It was so difficult for me I wanted to die! As much as I want to forget…! But I still gave birth to you, didn’t I? Aren’t you thankful?”

She shook the iron bars when Melody didn’t turn around after calling her after like that – somewhat roughly.

“I told you it was in spring, when the heavy snow fell from the sky! People locked their doors and didn’t help me, and I was so scared by the soldiers that appeared on every street…! You’d be dead as soon as you were born if the last house I knocked on didn’t open its door. I had such a hard time because of you. Huh?”

She was a person who never changes. Only the way of her speaking and her expression had slightly softened in the face of death. On the other hand, Melody was grateful for this attitude – because she was able to completely let go of her mother without any lingering attachment.

Melody turned to look at her mother before leaving for the last time. She was banging the iron bars and surprisingly, it didn’t reach Melody’s ears. The knight from across the room soon came forward to suppress her mother. Her mother held out to the end, trying to escape from the stout knight who grabbed her by the arm.

Melody stared at her figure, then turned around and bowed – with a graceful, and light gesture.

‘Bye. mother.’

Was she surprised that Melody could give the greetings that wealthy people do? Her mother stopped struggling. She then looked at her daughter who started to become unfamiliar to her. It seems like now, she noticed another side of Melody – skillfully using greetings she didn’t teach her, and wearing expensive clothes that looked good on her at one glance.

“…”

The time they looked at each other was a little longer in that quiet space where her mother’s breath could be heard. Melody couldn’t understand what her mother’s eyes were trying to tell her. Even Melody’s mother wouldn’t be able to understand herself until the very end. It couldn’t be helped since their family had been like that all this time.

The first one to turn her gaze away was Melody. She could feel her mother’s dark eyes with her peripheral vision, but she didn’t look back. Beyond the door, she could see Claude leaning against the wall of the hallway, waiting for her in an ‘uncomfortable position’. Because his posture was really crooked.

Melody grabbed the hem of her robe and managed to walk herself out of her mother’s line of sight. Her steps were rather heavy – as if something was trying to hold onto her ankle.

“Come here.” Claude suddenly told her, still leaning on the wall, “Come here. Then I will take you back.”

Taking me back to where? Of course, the places he would be taking her were the ‘Duke’s house’ and ‘the carriage’. But what he was saying… didn’t seem to be talking about that. So, Melody answered with a brief response.

“I’m fine.”

“You’re acting brave this time again.”

He grinned and began to take a few steps in front of her. He seemed to be going back to the carriage so Melody followed him in silence. She looked around several times in hopes that she would meet the knights or Isaiah on the way, but unfortunately, there was no such opportunity. The knights were told to ‘keep him safe’ for now until the Duke gave his decision, so nothing should go wrong. But still, she was worried that his feelings might be hurt.

When they arrived at the mansion, Loretta and Ronnie, who were playing with stones and stacking one one on top of another on the porch, welcomed the two of them. It seems like they were waiting for the two of them to come back because they picked a lot of chestnuts. The servants soon grilled the chestnuts and Loretta ate the steaming yellow flesh cutely – while repeating that it was hot.

(T/N: Though this can’t really erase the fact that she had somewhat abused her daughter, I think Melody’s mother ended up like that because of her postpartum depression after she gave birth to Melody. In a case that she had no husband to take care of her, this might be the result of all of that, though what she did to Melody was inexcusable.)

* * * 

As the night gradually approached quickly due to the season, Duke Valdwin returned to the mansion. He heard a small knock on his office as he was checking an urgent matter arranged by the butler. ‘This must be Melody,’ the Duke thought, and when he opened the door, Melody was really standing there.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you when you are busy. I just wanted to tell you that it went well.”

The child used the words ‘I’m sorry’ today as well.

“I have heard the news.”

Melody flinched when she heard the Duke’s answer. The news he was talking about must be concerning Isaiah.

“Du, Duke. Isaiah is not at fault. Please do not punish Isaiah.”

“I heard that squire interfered with the business you went there for.”

“But that’s because… Isaiah had been entrusted with an important task for a very long time.”

“Important task?”

“I was negligent in protecting myself until now. I decided not to ignore myself anymore, but Isaiah had no idea. Because it was always him who protected me back in the village.”

“Anyhow.”

The Duke opened the door wide and let Melody enter his office.

“Looks like you didn’t have much time to talk with the squire boy.”

Melody nodded her head yes. She had a lot of catching up to do with Isaiah, but they rarely had a proper conversation because she had only been thinking that he needed to write letters to his mother, Mary. Isaiah doesn’t have any idea about the thoughts and ideas of the current Melody, and Melody also didn’t have any idea about the thoughts and ideas of the current Isaiah.

“This is a little bit of a different story, but I met my mother today.”

Melody recalled what happened inside the prison – Melody and her mother who didn’t know anything about each other even after living together for several years.

“I don’t think we understood each other. Perhaps it’s the same with Isaiah.”

“Alright, I think you need some time.”

“Yes.”

“Then I will not punish him severely.”

“… So, will you just give him a small punishment?”

“It would be good for that squire boy too. He seemed to know he did something rude.”

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