The Voyage In The Blizzard - Chapter 28
“And you are very unusual young man. If we had known each other for a long time, I would probably appreciate our connection. Our friendship.” said Ju Long, continuing to impudently look at the calm Longwei, who had already noticed the figure of Lei in the distance.
“I know people like you. It’s a pity to waste energy on you. Holding the sword to your face, I thereby deprive this sword of all meaning. It was not created to touch you. And even more so your life.”
Slightly changing the expression on his face, Ju Long came even closer and said with a pinch, “You should be careful. Your secret is in my heart. What is happening between you and Lei, this friendship of yours, is not a very good thing in these place.”.
“So you want to achieve our submission by threats?”
Wiping the snowflake from Longwei’s head, he just grinned and turned his head. “Lei, you took a long time. We have already become a good friends.”
Throwing the branches on the ground, Lei, as if nothing had happened, sat on a stone and began to get food from his backpack. Without looking at anyone, he said, “Sit down. You should eat.”
Longwei laughed out loud with wide eyes and there was something evil in his laugh. Spiteful and incomprehensible. “You are suggesting to him to eat with us?”
Without looking at him, Lei handed him the potatoes and nodded his head and said, “It’s getting colder. If you don’t eat it will be hard.”
From the look of Ju Long, one could also tell that he, like Longwei, was at a loss. Playing the role of a villain, he did not expect such an act at all. But confusion did not make him stay in one place for a long time. Abruptly turning his attention to the hot potato, he sat down and grabbed it greedily.
Slightly removing his scarf, but nevertheless not completely revealing his face, he made a few bites and the potato was gone.
Longwei continued to stand by the tall tree. Large snowflakes whirled smoothly falling on his hair. He folded his arms over his chest and closed his eyes.
The spoiled mood after the happy moment with Lei suddenly took on an indifferent note.
He felt sleepy, but he did not want to fall asleep. While Ju Long was near them, he could not close his eyes.
In the cold night, in the night that had already so accustomed the body to the cold, everything seemed calm and meaningless. The blizzard was approaching, then calming down again. The sky was filled with thick clouds and only occasionally you could see some kind of hint of stars.
Watching Lei generously share food with this type, Longwei, without noticing it, gripped the sword in his hand so tightly that the hilt had long since sunk into the surface of his skin, leaving a deep mark.
Glancing at him, Lei made it clear that everything was in order and should be relaxed. But Longwei just turned away and closed his eyes and the dream completely engulfed him.
The next morning, waking up from the strange heat around him, Longwei quickly jumped up and almost fell back. Several stones with dragon fire lay and with their weight pressed Lei’s fur coat to the ground.
In panic, looking around him and seeing Lei sitting not far from him and collecting his backpack, he calmed down. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he even wondered how it was possible to sweat in such cold weather.
Looking around him again and not noticing Ju Long, he said, “Where did he go again?”
Without turning, Lei said, “He left at night.”
Nervously shaking off the snow, he went up to him and pushed him by the shoulder said, “What did you do yesterday? Sharing food with someone like him?”
“What’s wrong?” Lei asked looking up. His fresh, serious expression suddenly shone strangely with incomprehensible emotions. “Don’t you know that being kind is the only virtue. Always and everywhere.”
“And you say this. The great Lei himself!”
“Yes. And I say this. Ju Long is not a bad person. He just pursues his goal. And this goal is quite understandable. I understand him. After all, everyone in this world needs some kind of goal. And a person is ready for anything to achieve this goal.”
Squatting beside him, Longwei put his hand on his shoulder and said earnestly, “Yes, but not everyone is ready to be the kind of person who will go to their goal. Some just pretend they have a goal. And I I mean Ju Long. What is his goal after all? He uses our secret so we will provide him with stones with dragon fire. And this is the goal? So stupid. And as for food, I will not be petty. You’re right, everyone needs food and if we have it, why not show generosity. But I don’t understand. All this seems to me somehow silly. You just stood on your knees yesterday, begging me to listen to you. Like, love is a forbidden thing in this world. That it is dangerous. But what happened now? Or did you lie to me so that I would go with you and we were alone?”
Lei looked around and, making sure no one was around, tilted his head, his rough but handsome features slyly glowing with joy. “I can be in a panic. And all because of you. In a short time you taught me to panic. And all because of you. I worry about you more than you think. Even though we have known each other for so little time.” Touching his hand, he continued, “I do not like this tenderness that I feel. But one thing I love exactly and it is to protect you and if someone starts to threaten or even hint at something that will touch you, I will worry so much that I will lose my head. What I said yesterday is true. In this world, on this mountain where it is always cold, love, to love someone, to protect someone, to worry about someone and even just to feel tender feelings, all this is not allowed. It makes a person weaker. And people like us cannot be weak. Around us, in these forests, there are thousands of those monsters with fangs. And they are ready to kill. And we must always be on the alert. And therefore the one who feels the sweetness of love will have to fight. Fight not with monsters, but with those who are dear to him. And fight until the end.”
Listening to him, Longwei, in the corners of his mind, began to recall those conversations between his father and Baofeng – Xue’s father. Conversations in which something was mentioned about love, about feelings. And the fact that some two soldiers fought to the end with each other until each of them let out his last breath.
“Now you understand?” Lei asked as he stood up and straightened his belt and the sword that hung by his side.
Continuing to sit on a snowdrift, Longwei said, “Love is weakness. But can there be love between us? I mean, how can we be sure of that? That is, those were just moments of closeness. But love is something more, right?”
Lei raised his head to the sky and then fixed his gaze on a swaying tree branch, changing his tone to a colder one, said, “I hope you will understand everything soon. This is a long road, a road that leads to understanding the nature of things. Come on. We have to go. Ju Long will not tolerate our laziness. And I don’t want to fight with you.”
Reflecting on his words, Longwei quickly collected the coat and put stones with dragon fire in the bag, slightly pushing Lei to the side, he headed towards another forest.
Not noticing nothing around him, only snow and trees, Longwei walking close to Lei said, “Do you see beauty?”
“Beauty?”
“Yes. Do you see the beauty around us?”
Lei looked at him silently. Covering his face with his hand from the wind, he said, “That beauty I see. But not the one you are talking about.”
“And which one?”
“The one that is now in my soul. In my thoughts. In my feelings.”
Longwei laughed and nearly fell on the slippery rock covered with a thick layer of ice. “And you are such a romantic. In every way. And a philosopher too.”
“It can’t be helped. I’ve read a lot of books.”
“Tell me, who were you at my age? What did you want to become? I don’t think you dreamed of becoming a warrior. With your tender heart.”
Lei slowed down his pace and it was noticeable that behind his eyelashes covered with snow, he hid entire worlds, whole thoughts that were able to melt all this ice around. But the harsh spirit that settled in the corner of his soul did not allow his past to be revealed.
Looking at his feet, at the traces that remained on the surface of the snow, he said, “When I was young, I dreamed. I dreamed a lot. But these dreams were not associated with any actions. I just dreamed …” After becoming silent on this note, he suddenly turned his head to the side, as if not wanting Longwei to see his sadness.
But as befits any warrior, he still went through what he started. “People dream about to become someone. To be someone important in the eyes of others. People dream of things that will elevate them. But when I was at your age, I dreamed of beauty. About beauty in everything. I dreamed of beautiful flowers that bloomed in the stories in my books. I dreamed of water that does not freeze from frost, but which stores the sun’s rays and if you dip your feet there, you can feel the touch of millions of stars. I dreamed of evenings with sunsets when the color of the sky foreshadowed that tomorrow will be fine. I dreamed of butterflies that were kept in lines of poetry written by unknown poets. I dreamed that they would lightly touch my hand. I dreamed of all this just like others dreamed of becoming great warriors and those who will become a threat for those monsters. That’s what I dreamed.”
Longwei stopped breathing at all while listening to him. His heart sank, and when he finished and looked at him out of the corner of his eyes, he continued to remain silent.
The howl of the wind came from all directions, resembling a pack of wolves. The creak of snow underfoot filled the mind from within.
Feeling the look on himself, Longwei simply could not find the words, did not find the necessary feelings to finally embrace this kindred spirit that he had been looking for so long. And all he could say was, “I’m home.”
A strong blizzard enveloped them from all sides, and their gazes lost each other, and only a fuzzy outline could be seen through the blizzard. And these outlines, nervously, happily, lost, smiled.