There is no Epic Loot here, Only Puns. - Chapter 171: Mhaira will free ya

“She went in of her own accord, this is not a logical response,” someone said. Allatory turned and bit back a snap as he took a long breath.

“She is a captain and knows even more about our operations than others of her rank. We still don’t know how developed the Dungeon’s Core absorption process is. If we lose her in any way, the Dungeon could know our every squad, our operations, secrets Captain Yattina gained over her years,” he told another captain, who was barely fit for the position.

She was also… not the worst person to be around, Allatory had to admit.

“Core absorption?” the dim-witted man asked, looking lost.

Allatory stared at him. This was the sort of information basic scouts knew…

“A Dungeon gets many things from absorbing people who die within their grounds. Resources, new minions, special abilities, and more. One of the rarer things it can get is a recollection of the knowledge that person held in life. Some Dungeons don’t do it, while others can download someone’s entire history,” he said, strapping a sword to his hip as the commander’s tent seemed intent on being too stuffy.

He turned, face devoid of the annoyance he felt inside.

“This is why we don’t send our best, our most experienced, or our commanders in. A surprise knife to the neck, and the Dungeon suddenly becomes a rival who has access to our processes, our thoughts, our responses, our abilities, and far more,” he stressed.

“Captain Yattina lacks a Core, a rather black mark on her record, so I doubt we need to worry about that,” another person said, and Allatory looked up at the man who looked to be in a foul mood.

Impressive for someone who should be devoid of emotions in an effort to make a Core-Weapon.

“Commander Caline,” Allatory bowed, frowning as the man seemed to have a heavy stink of cheese on his breath.

He wasn’t aware the commander was a fan of cheese snacks.

“She’s an asset, revealing many of the Dungeon’s secrets already-” he tried to argue, but Caline turned to the central table, which had basic maps of the dungeon, and picked up a goblin figurine before tilting it so it was faced down.

“Her sister was an asset,” Caline asserted without looking up from the map.

“It’s only due to Director Ripdoy’s ‘kindness’ that she was offered to move up in the ranks with her theory work and half-shot ideas,” he reminded the room.

‘Moved up faster than you ever did’ Allatory thought unkindly as he glared at Caline’s back.

“And this scout who transferred to her squad. Lamb or Liam? He should be dismissed from Fairplay once he returns for disobeying the order to stand down if he returns,” Caline added callously.

It was sometimes obvious to see that Caline enjoyed what power he could wield in these sorts of situations. He had his cronies and favorites that he offered the better deals to. Allatory never liked the preference treatment. If someone was an idiot, they got sent back. If someone did good, they got a reward.

It was all by the book that the three directors made when Fairplay started.

Even if Director Ripdoy was all that was left.

Caline was the sort of person who turned everything into a self-serving nepotism club. Allatory had to be careful here.

“I would like to get Yattina back since her theories have proven to be true so far. Her insights could let us get much farther in a shorter time and send favorable reports back to the company,” he tried.

After all, if nothing else worked, going above Caline might. The Directors didn’t have badges; they didn’t need them.

There was still a host of people above Caline; those with five fingers on their badges.

Five people who handled most of Fairplay’s day-to-day business.

Caline paused and honestly seemed to consider the ramifications of finally getting good reports out of Durence.

“You have a point, Captain Allatory,” he said, and Allatory internally let out a sigh of relief.

“This could be a good time to test one of our newest weapons that has come out of the research department,” he announced and turned to the door to walk out.

“W-Wait, Commander Caline!” Allatory took a step forward.

“You don’t mean the ‘Hellion-Robot’ series?” he asked, a sick feeling in his stomach growing thicker by the moment.

He didn’t know much about the project, but he knew the automata were designed to be replacements for common soldiers…

“Now, now, Captain,” Caline tutted as he turned to look over his shoulder with an odd gleam to his pale eyes.

“I prefer ‘He-Ro’ units,” he corrected and left the room.

Allatory hoped, for the first time in a long time, that the Dungeon under their feet was not evil.

That it would protect Yattina.

That it had a heart.

—

“Such wonderful, luminous flesh!” Yattina said as the massive worm named Bob laid across the shallows of the waterfall, allowing a soaking-wet Yattina to run her hands over his body.

“Marvelous!”

Alpha watched from the shade of a tree, occasionally having to ward off a Pygmy from getting too close.

“I’m back,” Delta said as she appeared out of thin air. Alpha blinked at her stiff body and face contorted into dismay.

It reminded him of when she used to have so much homework to look over…

She?

Miss D?

Alpha shook off the impending headache to speak.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I accidentally made a god-dragon,” she muttered. Alpha could accept that. Delta was more of an explosive growth compared to his own constant-but-steady gains.

“She’s weird,” he nodded to Yattina, which made Delta perk up at the sight.

“She is? I love it! How’s the tour guide business going?” she asked him, and he shrugged.

“I keep going off on related subjects that spiral out into non-related things. Quee took over for most of it,” he admitted.

“You’ll get better if you keep practicing. You don’t see the world the same way as a lot of people, and that’s not a bad thing. Don’t feel bad about it,” Delta praised with a wide smile.

Alpha shrugged, not feeling bad at all. He just found people weird and facts really neat.

Delta went to say something when she paused. She frowned as she stared at Yattina.

“What’s wrong?” Alpha asked, and Delta was quieter when she answered, turning from relaxed to slightly more serious.

“Her mana-protection is wearing down. She’ll begin to experience poisoning soon if she doesn’t get out of thick Dungeon Mana,” she explained, as she seemed to be able to ‘see’ things no mortal person could.

It was as if being a Dungeon granted Delta an extra three senses: her entire Dungeon, some sort of system, and people; their souls and seeds.

“Is there nothing you can do?” Alpha inquired as he looked over the excited woman, who kept scratching some special spot on Bob that made the giant worm gurgle with joy.

“There’s a few things. My Mana Well could do something, but I don’t know what it might do,” she admitted.

“And to get her that far down means wearing her protection down almost twice as fast,” she added.

Alpha could see this was upsetting Delta, so he turned to Yattina and used a feature he had never used before.

A second later, his self… his power… engulfed Yattina, forming a shared bond, in which his passive buffs affected her. He didn’t target people’s seeds, but their souls, their being. It would affect seeds, but Alpha was designed to fight the Silence.

That came with inbuilt protections.

Yattina let out a yelp as the Party bond formed between them, and Alpha felt so uncomfortable having someone inside his aura. It felt too intimate… too much, but he held on stubbornly because it would help Delta.

Alpha system party mode:

All experiences are shared.

10% of Alpha defenses added to party members.

Mana-resistance increased.

Lack of core: no special ability granted.

As party is formed and held, Alpha will gain [3] new skills from Yattina.

Turning, he saw Delta gaping at him.

“Should keep her going,” he muttered, and Delta only nodded for a moment.

“Less than an hour to almost half a day if I’m reading this right. You can just extend your power like that?” she asked, sounding deeply impressed.

“It spreads really thin if there are too many people. It’s for a party, not an army, I guess,” he said, and Yattina turned as she seemed to be feeling the rush of power in her body.

“Alpha! I’m experiencing the need to punch trees and do menial tasks!” she cried out.

“That goes away eventually, the tree part,” he called over, wincing at his own early days where he just punched everything.

He woke up in a sleepy village, and even with his strange powers, it didn’t seem too bad. It didn’t seem so hard. A town that seemed to speak entirely in fixed phrases and repetitive speeches. Alpha soon learned that it was a quirk of the Shattered Left islands.

Massive language shifts occurred every three steps. Then the village was destroyed, and Alpha fled.

Funny, looking back at it, Alpha sure had run a lot before meeting Delta.

“Now, let’s get Miss Yattina to-” Delta paused, then blinked.

“We have guests,” she said with surprise. Alpha’s hand tightened on his sword.

“I can deal with them?” he offered, and she shook her head with a smile.

“It’s Deo, Poppy, and some poor Fairplay boy they’re escorting,” she said, crossing her arms with a thoughtful look.

“They’re in tour-mode, so it’s not even needing me to get involved,” she admitted, but Alpha could see the urge to do something growing in Delta.

“I can take Miss Yattina to the third floor and the well. I only need to show her a few other places, and we can move on,” he offered, and he suddenly wondered where Quee was.

The spider-boy had wandered off when he saw Yattina was getting involved with water.

Quee didn’t do ‘wet.’

“Today is a busy day! I wonder when Nu will get back,” Delta giggled as she floated off with a pat on Alpha’s head.

The contact was growing more solid by the day.

—

The Hunting Leader Seahagan raised one webbed hand as they continued to prowl along the pathetic Dungeon’s floors, pillaging it for all its worth. Soon, they would make the final push and claim the Sibling’s Tears that others called ‘Dungeon Cores.’

One had already fallen to their attacks, another to the north in the salt caves would be theirs soon. This one had not put up much of a fight, but it had improved a little.

It swatted aside another one of the annoying venomous plant-foxes to the side.

It would still fall.

The group stopped as they came to the fifth floor boss room, where they knew some weak bulbous plant with fangs should have been waiting for them, but to their unease, the room was empty.

A giggle sounded out.

“They thought you to be the same rank as I?” a human-sounding girl called out as a figure slowly floated out from the shadows. A tiny, defenseless creature appeared, and the Seahagan let out a collective hiss that rattled the room.

She was the size of a large insect, with human-hair that looked to be spun from gold. Her eyes danced with mirth, and she seemed to sway and move to unheard music.

“I want it… it shall amuse my clutch of hatchlings until they tear it apart,” someone said, and there was quickly a series of argumentative hissing over who’d get the girl.

But the leader stared at her; something about her form felt oddly familiar.

Unsettlingly familiar.

“Tell me, oh rotten fishmen, whom do you serve? Tell me the name of thy god,” the pixie asked, and despite having no respect for the pest, the leader was all too happy to say the name of his god.

The more he said it aloud, the more he felt connected to the dark echo.

“Fetormare!” he cried, and the group all let out guttural roars of praise. The room seemed to darken, shadows moving out from under foliage and around rocks. He expected fear, terror, revulsion, and maybe even curiosity from the insect-girl.

Not laughter. Not deep, belly-aching laughter.

“Fetormare? Fetormare?” she wheezed and seemed to be crying a dark ichor substance. That was a little strange.

“I’m supposed to be impressed by an Echo so weak that it needs dumb fishpeople to worship it out of some godsforsaken island to get any power?” her laughter trailed off into an insulted tone.

“Am I to be challenged by a cult of a sad Echo? Me? Mharia?” she demanded, and to the leader’s shock, the shadows around the room writhed then retreated as a new force rose up. The leader moved, and his spear impaled the blasphemous pixie through the stomach with ease, pinning her to the stone wall.

“Your death will be an excellent apology to the mighty Fetormare,” he said, satisfied. Slowly, the pixie grabbed the spear with slow motions.

“That’s step 1… but what about steps 2 through 10?” she asked and began to pull her body along the spear, leaving a trail of black ichor on the weapon as she slowly pulled herself free.

Taking a step back, the group watched as the pixie pulled herself off the spear, her human skin peeling back like a rotten fruit to reveal a horrible visage.

“Let me show you the power of someone beloved by both an insane Dungeon Core and the Nephew, strongest of Echoes,” she hissed, her empty eye sockets igniting with red flames.

“You follow an echo?!” the leader said, shocked before raising his hands in surrender.

“Let us join forces, bring true silence to this land!” he begged, and the pixie smiled, tilting her head.

“You think I need you?” she asked, and he couldn’t answer. The question felt like a trap in every way.

“We all serve the Lost Brother! Help Fetormare rise! Let him be the strongest, and he will reward you!” he said finally. The creature before them managed to turn her skull grin into a frown with extreme pressure.

“I will never betray Sun; even if we’re on opposite sides. He is the Echo that will succeed… or none will. I accept no substitutes,” she declared.

“Then die!” he screamed, and his group rushed the little creature.

The first one to get close simply turned to dust and bone, collapsing on the green ground.

“Die?” came the bemused response. The green room slowly began to turn brown then black as the green foliage seemed to rot before their eyes.

“I died a long time ago, and now I make it everyone’s problem,” she explained as two more of his Seahagans fell to the ground, their bones exploding outwards.

He reached into his satchel and produced something that made the demon pause. It was a cracked piece of something that looked like glass, but pitch black.

“Oh, you wouldn’t,” the creature said as it dropped two more of his people by causing their skin to burst out in disease and flesh-eating magic.

“A core given to Fetormare returned as a servant of our god. I offer myself as a vessel!” he crowed as he stabbed the shard into his chest, feeling it pour into his seed, the thing mutating inside his own body and causing unimaginable pain.

He screamed as dark energy filled his body, but soon the scream became a dark laugh as he grew and grew. His scales turned to hard gems, his once slimy body now was dry and rigid, his mana which had been of the sea now turned to the land.

The shattered core of the earth Dungeon filled him, and he became a massive golem of power and shadows. It was a pathetic Dungeon, if it had far more floors, then he could have gained far more power.

“You will suffer for a long time before you end. I will ensure it,” he rasped between obsidian teeth at the creature who… looked unimpressed.

“Ash to ash, and this next bit is important for you,” she stressed.

He swung at her with his mighty fists, his arm jutting out with crystals now.

But before it could touch the demon, his mighty rock and gems began to break and crack, turning to a gray, lifeless dust before his eyes.

He was confused, even as he fell to his knees and his new armor collapsed before his eyes.

“Dust to dust,” the shadow of the stronger Echo said and loomed over him somehow.

“I was earth eternal,” he said as he collapsed.

“If you had given yourself to the power fully? Perhaps,” she admitted, then clutched his chin, and the contact burned him.

“But you cling to self. You remain Seahagan at core. You’re not devoted… you are loyal for a price. You are no Cult of the Silence, you are parasites siding with a stronger force,” she hissed.

“What are you, then?” he rasped as he began to fall to the side.

The answer was the last thing he heard.

“A lich, a friend, a fairy, a guide, a Silence member… a Dungeon creature. More importantly, done with you,” she said, and his vision went black.

To his horror, the Reaper of the Sea did not come for him… his soul fell into a fathomless silence.

—

“And that’s Mharia when she’s bored,” Nu explained calmly as Trinity was stunned into absolute silence.

“How does one get a ‘Mharia’? Herb asked, and there was a moment of infighting before they waited for a response.

Embellishment, or truth? Making himself look good, or being honest?

“You must allow death to take a part in your Dungeon. Also, when you meet a human, you can contract them and merge Death with them to make a Mharia. It’s best to do this with an adult, as they are closer to death than anyone younger. Children resist death greatly,” he educated.

“Isn’t Mharia a child in form?” Carnage asked dubiously.

“She cost three times the normal amount to work. Adults are cheap,” Nu insisted. This was accepted by all three facets of Trinity.

Dungeons; they love a good deal.

“Absorbing corpses!” Florida cried, and the core went inert as it feasted on the biggest meal it had ever had.

“You’re welcome?” Nu said, and when there was no response, let out a sigh.

“Where’s my praise?” Mharia asked as she appeared in a spark of death magic.

“You didn’t mess up, well done,” Nu said sarcastically, and Mharia fawned at the fake words.

“Murder today, genocide tomorrow!” she declared, and Nu shot her a look, but she was already humming ways to ‘poison the sea, boil them alive,’ so he left her to it.

Their work here wasn’t done, but he didn’t want to leave Delta alone for too long.

There was something he told Mharia to collect and bring back. The shard of the corrupted Dungeon.

Was it corrupted? He didn’t know exactly, but he felt it was co-

—

“Another corrupted one. She wasn’t lying,” a gruff voice said.

“How can this be… they used to be so filled with life and magic,” a softer voice.

“We need to stop this, and we need to figure out who these people are.”

—

“Nu? This stopped being funny ten minutes ago,” Mhaira said crossly as she smacked his avatar.

“I… we need to go back and get Delta to study this,” Nu said, shaking himself out of standing absolutely still.

Those memories… they had come from Delta in some form, but why had they flowed to him now? Was the shard upsetting the connection?

He felt unsettled and hoped Delta wasn’t feeling this too.

—

“Go! Go!” Delta cried in sheer joy as Deo showed the boy, Lim, how to fish in the giant lake room, snagging the catfish deep within the waters.

“Go. Go…” Poppy waved one hand with a yawn, but her eyes never left Deo’s straininback.

At her side was that talking book, and she had meant to listen in to its tales, but she kept getting so distracted.

“This reminds me of the haunted vessel that sails around the Crown on misty nights,” the book told Poppy, its pages turning to show the map of the world that was surprisingly accurate.

“A god was summoned forth on a ship to give it power, but it was a dark being with a voice that echoed across the storm. It merged with the ship and is said to claim the souls of all that pass it!” the book said.

“All the more reason to never leave my room,” Poppy pointed out.

“Where’s your sense of excitement?” the book asked with a sigh.

“In my closet somewhere, nyeh,” Poppy managed a small smile as she was glued to Deo’s arms as he reeled in his catch.

“Perhaps I should tell tales of love and how to catch a prince’s eye?” the book muttered, making Delta cover her mouth, hiding a large grin.

Poppy closed him and then sat on him, muffling his voice.

“What is that?!” Lim screamed as the Moon-eating Catfish appeared in the air.

“Dinner, or an adventure! Maybe both!” Deo cried as he pulled with pure light in his voice and eyes. Oh, Delta could just keep them all!

Their parents would understand eventually!

—

“We should be going,” Alpha said after a while, staring down into the pit as movement filled every inch with it.

“But! No! There’s a whole society here!” Yattina cried out as the Pygmies tied her to their small altar.

“Think of the anthropological revelations of this culture!” she went on excitedly. The chief of the Pygmies gave the order, and the Priest raised a sacrificial dagger.

“I’m in the thick of it! This is world changing!” Yattina went on.

The dagger fell, and a chunk of her hair was cut loose.

“Simply marvelous!” she gushed.

Alpha supposed he could do some sit-ups or practice magic. There were five more lines of Pygmies wanting their shot at getting some ‘threads’ off Yattina.

If she was having fun, who was he to spoil it?

—