There is no Epic Loot here, Only Puns. - Chapter 179: Ruby Slippers and Silver Badges

“What were you thinking?” Allatory snapped as Yattina curiously prodded her new eye. She gave the pale man a curious expression, not quite understanding his anger as he shifted unpacked boxes about his new office. The tiny constructed ‘hut’ was barely a step up from tents and prefabricated sheds, but it did offer more privacy with thicker walls and doors. That was somewhat perfect for secret cult meetings, socially-unwelcomed fanclubs of captains, and dressing downs.

Before she answered, Yattina observed the man’s pale white aura. Allatory’s mana felt tense, like a coiled animal. A sensation Yattina felt was both wonderful and terrifying. Mana was everywhere, she knew this objectively but… she had been so young when her core had been burned out that she couldn’t remember how the world had felt back then.

Now, it was like sunlight warming her skin, even in the gloom of the room. Yattina presumed it was from the pendulum swing of going from zero mana to too much and her body was overreacting. It was sort of like being cold for so long that even a mildly warm room would seem stifling after a few seconds.

It didn’t change the fact that she wanted to sing and dance in the streets of this ‘sort of gray’ town. That was another thing she hadn’t noticed when she arrived. Even with the potent mana of Delta, the town was still a mire of stagnation in places and even with some people.

The gray, the stillness and silence of what was once vibrant mana was sorrowful to finally sense. Below that stillness was an extreme darkness. She saw others, many others that hadn’t gone far enough in Fairplay to have their mana cleansed and people in Durence that had taken in enough of Delta’s mana to react to it.

It called to them, and something in the people responded.

“In order?” she finally responded and started counting on one hand.

“A miracle! A new discovery, Rules bleh. Once in a lifetime opportunity. I think I left a bunsen burner on. No wait, Lim turned it off.” Yattina listed, and Allatory’s eyes narrowed with each word until his pupils were pale blue slits in his face.

“You could have died,” he stressed, butYattina shook her head.

“You are doing what Fairplay excels at. Come in, presume to know what’s best, and ignore all evidence to the contrary. Children have gone into that Dungeon and come out with gifts. People of this town have a dialogue with Delta. She talks and responds to them,” Yattina said, dropping her casual tone.

“That’s to the natives! We are not natives!” Allatory slammed his hand down, while some green finally bled into his mana from his emotions before returning to its pale white after a deep breath.

“Where did you grow up, Captain?” Yattina asked, watching the man tense in response. This question was a double-meaning sort. Kids like Lim wouldn’t pick up on it for some time, but it was essentially asking, in the most roundabout way, ‘what hell did you experience?.’

“Vainglorious.”

The answer came quietly, surprising Yattina. She was expecting a nowhere village to the Diseased Right or perhaps somewhere down by the pillars of the world. Not… not one of the biggest towns of the world.

The city that glowed with riches, every window tinted with rare glass as the gutters glistened with wasted spirits and shattered trinkets. The town that bled gold and dreams as behind, rising into the sky, the Ruby Dungeon grew ever higher.

“If you’re going to ask if I lost anyone to the Dungeon, then no. Everyone I counted as family returned alive and well from the Dungeon,” he said, cutting Yattina off as he finally sat down and started pouring them drinks. Amber liquid for himself and apple juice for Yattina.

It pleased Yattina that the man knew she didn’t drink liver poison.

“But that was never the danger of that Dungeon. It was lethal, but it wasn’t the most dangerous in terms of violence or death,” Allatory went on, his gaze staring down at his drink. Yattina sipped her apple juice, not following.

Her studies on Dungeons were more on the metaphysical side and abilities of a Dungeon, not the cultural impact they had on nearby towns, but it was still something she was interested in.

“The Dungeon there causes a never ending hunger. ‘This floor had rings of opulence and gold, but what of the next floor? We can’t buy you school books, your father needs potions for the next floor’ and so on,” Allatory said with a calm look but his aura had a dark green flicker of emotional pain.

“The culture in Vainglorious is unlike any other town. Most places, they share and discuss how to advance or avoid dangers, but the town has so many people that such knowledge becomes guarded. Hints on floors above the ten well explored floors can cost a gold piece each,” the man went on as if he remembered the price and bargaining clearly.

“People can come into the town, eyes bright and hearts open, only to end up in so much debt they can never leave.” Allatroy shook his head.

“I don’t understand why people would continue to go. There are other dungeons,” Yattina said bluntly. The idea of working oneself to death for money or shiny rocks was… honestly, stupid to her.

“Because of floor fifty,” Allatory said simply. A silence stretched over the room before Allatory winced at bringing up such a subject.

“The lower floors are physical treasures. Gold, jewels, weapons, and all that but level fifty and every ten levels after that, supposedly, the Dungeon rewards people with ‘the treasures of the soul.’ It’s some sort of… I don’t even have a word for it,’” he said slowly.

“My… someone I knew reached floor 50 and got the reward. He acted differently when he came home. The day he returned, he looked around his house smiling to himself as if it was some kind of joke he only now understood. He told his wife that he could now see ‘how temporary this all is. Isn’t it funny what we do with our limited time? Kind of ugly that we waste it down here when we can go higher.’” Yattina stared at the Captain, blinking slowly.

“Do you know who rules Vainglorious?” he asked suddenly.Yattina was getting whiplash at the twists in this conversation.

“The Sultan?” she guessed.

“On paper, yes, but the actual city moves at the whims of the Wisemen. People who have reached these ‘treasure of the souls’ floors. They’re technically councilors, but when they move their hands, the city rearranges itself,” Allatory said quietly.

“Sounds like the sultan is a puppet and these wisemen shape the city but actually get their thinking from…” Yattina trailed off.

“The Ruby Dungeon,” Allatory said flatly.

“A Dungeon that does not kill you does not mean it has no motives,” he said with a strange tone. Yattina held up a hand, knowing they were far off the topic they started.

“Surely not everyone who reaches floor 50 becomes a wiseman. Such a thing would cause Fairplay to slam down hard on it. It would basically be an abomination dungeon with extra steps,” she argued.

“Indeed, but here’s something to think on. No outsider has ever become a wiseman. Not their kids or even their kids’ kids if you look at the records. Every wiseman has had a family based in Vainglorious for generations, a lot of generations. Here’s another interesting thing. The Ruby Dungeon, as far as anyone can study or research, has never had a single contract to its name,” Allatory leaned in and his aura was pale mint green now, as if he was unloading a heavy subject for the first time ever.

Yattina stared at the ground, at the surge of orange mana that flowed deep underground like a river, likely a mana vein that Delta was revitalizing. She stared at it, letting it sweep her attention away as she thought of the Ruby Dungeon.

She could almost see it in these turbulent mana veins. A tower of gleaming marble rings in bands of gold, sapphires, onyx, and more. It felt so vivid she could almost taste the hot air and feel the sand in her hair.

The town of Vainglorious spread before the tower in a semicircle like a crescent moon. Why didn’t it encircle the tower completely? The tower itself was like a giant sundial, causing life to form and die rapidly in the shadow it cast.

The tower was high, but the top wasn’t out of sight. She could see a bird flying near its top, close one moment then a tiny dot the next. Dungeon spatial warping, the tower was much higher than it appeared.

The tower itself looked normal for a moment, but then her eye tingled before burning just for a moment. Red-, No, Ruby-like streams flowed to the town in a mist-like quality. The number of items being harvested from the Dungeon was so vast and never-ending that Dungeon mana rose into the air like a steaming mist, breathed in by every customer and merchant. The fog rose unseen into the air, turning the city from a mess of opulent mansions, towers, slums, and dark places into a red-tinged labyrinth.

Yattina could only see a faint image, but there was something strange at the edge of town. A golden mist that clashed with the ruby one. The golden energy was so thick and strong, ocean-like in its immensity, that it was all the ruby mist could do to maintain a break in the golden waves.

The golden energy seemed unaware of the ruby energy, but the ruby energy dedicated day and night to pushing back the golden influence. When she looked at the golden mist, she could see a massive, ancient, shifting mess of expanding golden floors that was so sprawling it could have spread across the entire land if it had kept expanding outward instead of delving down into the earth as well.

Tracing the golden Mist to its origin, Yattina could see the Capital City of Verluan resting over its core.

Allatory’s voice broke the spell.

“I just think it’s too soon to presume anything, and you’re the only one I can count on to make sense of this all,” the man said tiredly.

“There are other researchers,” Yattina replied distractedly, as her brain tried to comprehend what she saw. Her eye felt hot, almost too hot for her own skull.

“None of them are as stubborn as you or willing to argue when they see something stupid. I don’t need yes-men, I need answers.” Allatory smiled as he drained his glass.

“Sometimes to get answers, I must jump down the holes or lick the rocks,” Yattina said unapologetically.

“We have new recruits to push down holes and people who like licking rocks working for us,” he argued, watching Yattina drain her apple juice like it was hard liquor.

“I don’t want second-hand data,” she scoffed. Allatory rolled his eyes, but like a well-trained bartender, poured her another shot of apple juice.

Good man. Yattina might be able to tolerate him if he kept his aura minty and not just pale. Still, she had some unfinished business to deal with before she got rocked up on the juice.

—

Caline looked at the supplies of HE-RO units he had lost and was torn between writing the batch up for being defective or having a report made about how the Dungeon mana had made them run out of control and to discontinue the line.

The units were good in other Dungeons, but if they ended up like this freak-show, then Caline had no real use for them. He looked down at the fried control unit crystal, the piece of once clear lattice was now a burned ruined wreck where the feedback of the unit was utterly destroyed. He had no use for tools he couldn’t control. It would lead to sloppy work and the deaths of more loyal men than necessary.

His door opened, and he put on his pleasant and in-control face. Behind the facade, he grimaced at the sight of that researcher woman. Her name escaped him right now after today’s events, but he hardly ever remembered researchers unless they were one of the few legendary sorts.

Jenia Visp was one such name. The inventor of the Core Armaments. This woman, she was the sister of the Maiden deserter, Caline remembered now. She was staring at him with some ghastly orange-looking orb in her eye socket and looking as disgusted as he felt.

“Ser Caline,” she said, the words dripping with hostility. This was new, not many were so openly hostile out of the gate. They feared their future in the company too much for such brazen disrespect.

“Yes, and you are…?” he prompted. This made her visibly annoyed, and he smiled internally. Some people could use a little deflating of their egos, especially these ‘smart’ sorts.

“Yattina Halenuo Congord Flimina, researcher and the person who managed to physically get the deepest in the local Dungeon,” she reported dismissively, as if Caline was a slug she had just noticed on her roses. He couldn’t help but frown. That accomplishment gave her more political power than he was happy with.

It made her the ‘expert’ of the Dungeon for now. Even if Caline’s toys had gotten deeper, he himself hadn’t.

“How can I help you?” he asked kindly, dripping with false sincerity. He’d have to bring this woman under his wing. Riches, power and treasures always flowed up after all, and it wouldn’t hurt to make her reliant on him to continue her research.

She stared at him and looked mildly put off.

Caline blanched before he could stop himself. Usually people at least smiled back…

“I have complaints to make,” she said, and Caline perked up. If he solved her problems, she would doubtless be more malleable to his suggestions. Still, he’d have to check his appearance in a mirror soon. Women generally found him agreeable to their eyes, but not this one.

It was throwing him off.

“Tell me,” he encouraged. She looked him right in the eyes and her fake eye made him squirm internally as a vaguely familiar symbol of a thick-sided triangle surfaced from its depths.

“You released restricted machines into the local Dungeon, broke further rules by allowing them to reach critical levels.ne of them stabbed me and almost killed me a second time as it exploded, and now I have to sit down with a buttstain after an otherwise pristine experience of this Dungeon,” the woman said, and Caline’s mind went blank.

No one had spoken to him like this in a very long time.

“I am… dare you…” he spluttered before reaching for his four-fingered badge, but Yattina slammed something down on the desk before him.

It was a rolled up scroll with the symbol of a complete hand on the wax seal. Five-digits.

“I made a quick visit back to HQ,” she said and Caline stared at her.

This was not good.

The hand of Fairplay symbolized the five men and women in charge of Fairplay that served directly under Director Ripdoy. Which one was it? If it was the Finger of the Blades, he might have a chance to spin this back onto the insubordinate woman…

It was also annoying that Yattina seemed to have used the portal twice, but her clothes only looked as if they had been cleaned and repaired rather than smaller. He unrolled the scroll and glared at the sign of the research department, a crooked hand with the thumb raised, ready to push down on a pen.

“I wasn’t aware that Manager Visp and you were on speaking terms,” he observed, voice devoid of any emotion.

“Unaware of things beyond your immediate scope of imagination. Color me surprised,” Yattina said coolly.

This piece-

He read the missive as fast as possible, his face paling with each line.

‘Commander Caline of the Blades.

It has been brought to my attention you have somehow acquired and also wasted twenty units of the ‘Hellion Robot’ series. On top of that, your actions nearly ruined a valuable understanding in Dungeon science.

I contacted the Manager of the Blades, Bronco, and he has agreed to allow me to set your punishment. He asked me to let you know that this is not negotiable. Bronco is a smart man who sees what a colossal mess you have caused. Enough that he and I skipped our week long arguments and got down to sorting this out before you somehow cause a second Shattering.

Right now, you are demoted to Third rank, whileResearcher Yattina is promoted to Fourth, making her, effective immediately, your superior.

She will be in charge of supervising your actions until Fairplay has concluded its first contact with the local dungeon. One more toe out of line and I will take your Soul Armament, rejoin it to your body without anesthetic and then demote you to recruit for the next ten years.

I do not tolerate those who waste my time, my research, or this paper I am using to write to you. You have done all three, and it’s only because of years of service that you are not heading to the Diseased Right toiling in relief work until the day you die.

The good news is that you get to keep your office, because Researcher Yattina prefers her lab like any sane woman would.

Do not make me come down there.

-Jeina Visp.

There was movement, and Yattina slowly and deliberately took her time reaching over and taking his four-finger badge,dropping her own three-finger badge on the table where it landed with a clack, on its pin for a moment.

“I prefer to recycle. Hope you don’t mind, Blade Caline,” she said softly.

He opened his mouth, readying his Core Armament for retaliation until the last words of the message came back to him like a slap to the face.

‘Do not make me come down there.’

His blood froze, as if the woman could sense his intent across the world.

Jenia Visp could not only melt his soul weapon, but also manipulate it. Her own tool was vastly stronger too. Rumor was that she could read the mana veins of the world in her lab, right down to tracking one person.

A skill the Manager of the Scouts envied, the index finger of Fairplay for prodding.

“No… issue, Ser Yattina,” he whispered. It was a big issue.

It was a massive issue.

The ‘box’ he owned could only be opened because he tuned it to his badge for security purposes.

Curse her. Curse this town. Curse this freak of a dungeon.

Curse them all.

The moment he thought this with intense emotion, he sat upright as something like a wedge of cheese moved down his gut.

The old man’s curse! He rushed past Yattina and to the latrine in agony.

“Some people don’t handle loss well,” he heard Yattina say, but he couldn’t do anything but waddle away.

—

Delta paused as she took a break on crab island, resting in a hammock.

Something had pinged her.

“The goblins are hatching,” she said, sitting up instantly. She tried to get off the hammock, but her physicality made her flip over and tangle her foot in the hammock in her haste.

“Help!” She twisted around for a moment before remembering she was near-omnipotent in this space. Her foot phased through the hammock, and she stood up to the gaze of a dozen crabs.

“No one saw a thing,” she said smoothly, sand in her hair.

“Come along Primal… Prim! Prim!” she told the screen, and the thing let out an alarmed ping.

‘Sub-system has been named. Cursed with existence! No!’

Prim was so funny. Between her and Nu, Delta had a comedic duo at her fingertips!