There is no Epic Loot here, Only Puns. - Chapter 205: Super Magical Goddess Delta

Delta sat across from Giant, the thriving jungle all about them alive with bird song and the war cries of the Pygmies. Giant looked at Delta, Delta stared back. The sounds around them made the silence between them a little louder than it would have been otherwise.

“So,” Delta began with a smile, feeling an old familiar thrill run through her as she decided to break the awkwardness. It had been a small while since she just sat down and Dungeoned. Even longer since she had a chance to help one of her monsters like this.

Just so much had happened.

“Giant, you’re going to be my first student in a whole new field of study, so I hope you will bear with me as we stumble along this journey together!” Delta declared grandly. Giant’s massive frame was still as he stared then he grandly nodded once.

“Okay,” he said and went back to staring.

Delta deflated a little. She was used to all sorts of monsters: loud ones, scary ones, confused ones, and even slightly murderous ones. Giant was a different breed than all the rest.

A rude person would have casually thrown about words like ‘simple’ or ‘plain’, but Delta preferred ‘comfortable’.

“Is there anything you’ve thought of that might be of interest to you?” she asked gently as she took in Giant’s existence on all levels. Nothing stood out aside from his large frame really. There were no emotional spikes or deviance from his monster matrix which created him.

Giant blinked, just once, at the question.

“I had time to think it was a big question,” he finally replied with a slow nod. This would be easier if Delta had a curriculum to adhere to. If it was English, she’d teach him to express himself through poetry or how to find himself in different books. If it were math, she would teach him to enjoy the puzzle of formulas or how to apply math to his own life.

If it was history class, she would help him toss some tea in a harbor for cultural experiences. Sure, she didn’t have a harbor per se, but she could make one for a student, she would do that without hesitation.

But this sort of open poking into his psyche felt closer to therapy of all things.

“Well, there was one thing,” Giant admitted, sounding almost embarrassed.

“Tell me,” Delta encouraged, needing just a single straw to grasp.

“The outsiders, the wizards. They used magic and had big or small magic tools. Could…Could I use magic?” he asked slowly as if not to raise his own hopes.

Delta brightened up and opened her mouth then paused.

She had no idea if Giant could use magic. Her monsters so far had either naturally gravitated towards such a path or were made with innate magic.

“Let me just look,” she said and opened his menu.

Giant: Bridge Guardian.

A strong imposing frog with the ability to crush men’s heads between thighs like ripe melon.

Upgrades:

Tough Skin: Blades have a tougher time breaching his skin.

Moist Oil: more resistance to fire and some electricity attacks.

Bridge Ogre Strength: Able to double physical strength in emergencies.

Spear mastery: able to stab organs with improved precision.

This didn’t scream ‘wizard’ build, but Delta wasn’t one to give up on a slight thing like fixed innate talents and common sense.

“I see some potential but it’s going to take some work,” Delta said slowly and Giant looked so pleased that Delta pretty much had to make magic work for him…

Whether it wanted to or not.

“Wait right here!” she said and stood up, focusing on three monsters. Asking them to meet her ASAP. Less than a few minutes later, she stood before Wyin, the mana parched form of Doctor the Guardgoyle, and the slightly drowning in mana form of Cois.

A monster from the first, second, and third walked into a boss room. Delta frowned as Cois could barely speak and Doctor was looking closer to a parched house plant by the second. Only Wyin looked utterly comfortable due to the meeting taking place in her room.

“I bet on the goblin dying first,” Wyin said and Cois did a rude magic symbol with his middle finger. Delta frowned and tried something that was likely a little unorthodox in terms of what Dungeon layouts were supposed to do.

She very lightly, just a smidge, a token really, slid the garden in between floors over the boss room like a blanket causing a perfect supply for all three of her monsters… along with the giant staring form of Ophiuchus looking down at them from the fourth floor.

The Death Star Constellation Dragon had an intimate connection to the garden.

The good news was the idea worked, the bad idea was that Delta felt like she had tied her kidneys up in a neat bow then threw her liver into the mix.

‘Painful’ was putting it mildly, but one of her children’s dreams was on the line here.

“Magic. How do you break it so it plays nice?” she asked the god tree, the fire mage, and the scary scientist.

“Today felt like that sort of day,” Doctor mused as he stroked his plague mask beak with amusement.

“Have you tried tricking a wizard into selling their soul to you?” Wyin asked seriously.

“You need to hate social interactions and bend to the desire to burn society,” Cois said, looking sagely.

“Do you know what magic is?” Doctor asked and Delta stared at him trying not to hold her sides and whimper.

“Magic is magic, it exists so fantasy media isn’t just boring hot men hitting each other with swords and dragons can exist,” she said and Wyin scoffed.

“A good selection of weapons is the key to a diverse entertainment. Abyss, even swords just means metal on a handle. There are so many types! Why is it only straight or curved folded metal?” she demanded to the room.

“Dragons are overrated,” Cois declared. Ophiuchus shot him a confused look.

“No offense,” the goblin added with a shrug.

“There are ample books on the subject in the library, you’ve consumed them so you should be able to just… know it,” Doctor encouraged and Delta was going to ‘know’ him some aspirin and a hot water bottle on her stomach. She frowned and closed her eyes, trying to think of the library.

Calling up full tomes of knowledge and with perfect recall was doable but it needed Delta to focus, stand still, and really know what she wanted.

Her mental library soon came into a sort of vision and she began to search for ‘magic’. Dozens of tomes lit up and she began to rapidly browse through them. It wasn’t so much actually reading them so fast she was consuming them but ‘reminding’ her Dungeon self that she already had read them.

‘Magic spells for cleaning socks’ came and went followed by ‘A spell for every type of hoof’. Delta moved on to finding a few ritual books able to grant youth (“five years guaranteed per teen sacrificed!”), improve martial skills (“for greater results, swallow a great sword instead of a knife!”) She then found a book called ‘Magic Mikael’.

This led her down a side path of a series of books about the adventurers of the sorceress who could make clothes vanish, inflate men’s pride with a wave of her hand, and be able to conjure twins from a well.

Delta didn’t mean to get so distracted.

Even her twisted organs took a back seat for a moment.

“Focus,” Wyin clicked her branch-like fingers with a roll of her eyes and Delta mentally slammed the fifth book in the series (“Sauceress Sonia and the Assassin Brotherhood of Topless Assassins”) so hard it mentally scattered into pages.

“I’m finding a lot of mixed ideas and debates,” she told Doctor with flushed cheeks, feeling that magic was either the given right of all people or some secret energy supplied by the frogs of the swamps of the world.

“Magic is one thing split among many, shared or given. Even my magic is imitation,” Cois said as this was painfully obvious.

“Divinity magic is gods allowing mortals to leech a little power,” Wyin said, agreeing with the small goblin.

“I’ve studied some of the results from those that use magic, mostly from getting small handouts of data from the ever calculating Nu. Magic, in all mortals so far, is identical. If it were blood, all magic would come from one donor,” the guardgoyle explained as he crossed his arms.

Delta frowned at him. She had always been too enthralled at seeing magic she didn’t think to dissect it like a science.

“So, magic is what? A type of energy from one being or energy that was exactly the same everywhere?” Delta asked the three.

“Magic is divine but it is a stolen sort. That’s what I feel. What is that story from your world… the one who stole fire and was rewarded by having his toenails ripped off for all eternity?” Wyin said, waving a hand casually as if she wasn’t impressed by the tale.

“A bird ate his organs which grew back every day so the bird would keep coming back,” Delta corrected and Wyin looked more pleased by this version.

“A god or gaggle of gods were harvested. More than half the books I read had this theory and I was able to prove it recently thanks to Alpha,” Doctor continued as if this was just a small thing.

“Wait, what?” Delta snapped her attention to him. She waved her hands to stop them flooding her with information.

“Before I bust a kidney, let’s do this properly. Doctor, what is mana and what is magic?” she said, putting her hands together before gesturing to him with a frown.

“Mana is what you would consider ‘life energy’. A person’s mana is the energy produced by their soul, emotions, lifestyle, mindset, and more. You could break mana down into more niche energy but all mana is basically life which is why places die when the mana vein in the land dries up,” Doctor said as he tilted his head as if he wanted to see such a place for himself.

“Too much mana makes life wild. Unstable. Someone given too much mana makes them wrong or mutate,” Cois said as he thought about it.

“Fairplay has mana but it’s broken, like it was made solid and so the person becomes too solid as well,” Cois added.

“A place of utter mana allowed pure creation and bending of space. Life can form that can only thrive in that space but also change rapidly if need be,” Wyin continued, innocently as she examined her branches for flaws which there were none.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it’s taken without the author’s consent. Report it.

“So Dungeon are pure life?” Delta said slowly.

“Carefully contained cauldrons bubbling with potent mana no human can endure forever unless they too discard their physical form and convert to the ambient mana,” Doctor said quickly, shooting Wyin a warning look as if she had come close to saying something inappropriate.

“Doc, what are you dancing around? Tell me or Wyin will when she gets bored,” Delta told the guardgoyle who stood under Wyin’s long branches without fear.

“It’s not important,” he promised.

“He’s worried you’ll get upset when you learn you can’t do magic like the outsiders. You’re pure mana of the Brother and Sister. You’re all smoke and mirrors,” Wyin said casually and Cois held up a fist full of flame, the embers burning with her mana that danced, vibrating on command with direction and built-in orders.

“Okay, so I can produce a lot of mana, but not magic… So what is magic?” Delta said, trying not to look worried.

Giant didn’t want much… Well, anything but he did want magic.

“Take a god and begin chopping bits off. Cook it, drink it, bathe in it, wear it, and eventually, you or your children have magic. Likely the god in question was already doing something akin to miracle granting or omni-energy usage when it was made into a stew,” Wyin said and Delta stared at her.

“You’re a goddess, doesn’t that upset you?” she asked slowly, never quite sure how Wyin reacted to any situation over another. Sometimes, Wyin laughed, sometimes she cried, and sometimes she got a little murderous.

Wyin laughed as if Delta told a fantastic joke, even patting Cois on his back like a friend.

“Upset? Like she doesn’t know how gods war!” Wyin said, hooting with actual sap-like tears in her eyes. A dark feeling grew in Delta’s stomach.

“Wyin, don’t tell me-” Delta began and Wyin smiled with so much joy and life it was creepy.

“Gods eat each other like little fishies in a pond. Sometimes it is a love snack to make a child, sometimes it’s almost all of your power so you become a shade, and other times you become one. Gods are cannibals, dear. We consumed each other’s faiths, lands, and then each other’s flesh. It’s all love and war, but you can eat me until I am blood and bones, but no god dares take another’s ‘self’. Not until that worm,” Wyin ended in a snarl.

“So, magic is just dead god bits floating in people?” Delta spoke up, sounding outraged.

“In some people. If you think about it, the Lost Brother cried and made all living life on the Brother, they’re technically divine already but then some of them got more pieces of another god and it didn’t quite settle. Wizards and other magic users are genetically crossbreeds. Alpha has the largest amount of secondary material which confirmed this theory,” Doctor explained with much enthusiasm.

“So, I just need to blend a god and make a smoothie?” Delta repeated for clarification. There was silence in the room.

“I am disgusted but intrigued,” Wyin decided and leaned in to hear more.

“Wyin, are there any more gods from where you came from? Maybe we can summon one to ask for some donations?” Delta tried and Wyin snorted.

“There is no more ‘where I’m from’. You really do not know, do you?” she asked and Delta tried not to look confused, crossing her arms in confidence.

“Not at all!” she proclaimed.

“This is new data,” Doctor mused and Cois just picked his nose but he was listening closely.

“My universe was small, much like this place, but smaller. There was life there but I hesitate to say it thought or even desired. You could think of it as rock slime or pond scum. A sort of life that sort of once in a while had a collective idea of something bigger every hundred years. I was that thought,” Wyin said and she sounded almost nostalgic and a little sad.

Delta imagined a world the size of a garden, so small in scope that it didn’t have conflict or wars.

There was no room.

“Then people cried for a god of life and growth. Some were too small and undeveloped. Others were in bigger worlds with established kingdoms. I answered and I went from an idea to a tree. A physical thing containing an idea. Much like a person. If they consumed me like this other god, the people of this world would only see a wizard every hundred years or so. I was not that strong of a god, but the person would be able to heal and cause great changes in the land,” Wyin went on, then thought about it.

“Or terrible changes,” she admitted with quiet anger.

“So gods are just beings people hired off the cosmic internet?” Delta asked, feeling her jaw wanting to hit the ground.

“You make it sound so simple and ugly,” Wyin scoffed.

“Can you go back?” Doctor asked, intrigued.

“Maybe, but I would never do it. I would have to give up everything I’ve gained so far. Reduce myself… surrender my own self. I would rather die,” Wyin said firmly and Delta believed her.

“I don’t think I can summon some eager temp worker and just harvest their organs,” Delta admitted as she sat down, the pain getting to her.

Three different emotions rose around her.

“And no one else is allowed to either,” she said and Wyin audibly groaned in disappointment.

“Just become a god then, if you’re so moral,” Wyin grunted and Delta snorted, about to say that she’d love to make a cult when a new screen appeared.

Cult of the Mother ping request number 999+.

Automatically set to pending.

The Pygmies?

“How can it be legal to make creatures then be made a god if they decide to worship you. Feels a bit like making a farm and expecting sheep to appear,” Delta argued and Doctor leaned in gently.

“The key words there are ‘if they decide to’. You gave them free will and they choose to use it in religious bliss,” he pointed out.

“I don’t know-” she began then saw there was a page two to the menu so she clicked on it.

Active Gods: Nu of the Night (3 weeks)

“Nu?”

She blinked as the screen turned blue.

“Oh, you finally got my memo about that,” Nu said as he appeared from the fourth floor. Delta had memos?

“Y-Yes, I did,” she said with a serious nod.

“Good, hurry up and join. I love the fear, hate the sermones I have to attend. Do you know they expect me to praise them? To encourage them. It’s horrifying,” Nu said with a shudder.

“You haven’t yet assigned apostles or saints to go to your place? Amateur,” Wyin said smugly, fanning herself with a branch.

“I’ve been busy doing saintly work in regards to stopping Delta exploding,” Nu responded harshly.

“If I accept, can I give Giant magic? Real magic?” Delta interrupted and there was a prolonged pause.

“Yes, but no, but there are things I can’t even begin to explain that will happen,” Wyin said finally.

Eh, close enough for Delta. She’d just wing the details and smooth over the wrinkles.

She looked at the thing and decided to just create a new position, not wanting to ‘usurp’ Nu of his beloved sermons.

‘Ultra High Omega Super Madam Superior’ position created!

There, now no one would take this business seriously!

—

Sister watched as her ‘machines’ began to loop and create feedback over their mushroom ladened screen. She loved this part.

Delta accepted into religion.

Delta put herself lower than construct Nu.

Error.

Nu is subservient to Delta.

Solution.

Puppet position.

Delta’s position renamed: Truly Interested Loving Friend

Religion is now becoming detectable.

Bind Delta to the Accord of the Shattered Left?

Sister hit ‘no’ on her console, having to move a few mushrooms to reach. Delta didn’t need silly things like follower limits or restricted land sizes or such nonsense.

Sister trusted her to be too busy causing trouble for herself to become a deadly god.

Sister wasn’t expecting that from Delta for at least another few months, so this was all just a happy accident!

“The others won’t like that.” the Goddess of Truth said from the shadows where she rested and lurked. Sister hummed. The goddess of the girl, Kemy, was an interesting one.

“They can… hm what does Delta say sometimes, ah yes! They can ‘deal with it’. They’re divine children throwing hungry tantrums. I am a child god too and I act with more dignity at times,” Sister said with a shake of her head.

“Aren’t you afraid they might start another war, using mortals?” the goddess asked, more intent than ever on an honest answer.

“I am not worried because I trust Delta. If they barge into her home and demand tributes or respect, they shall be reminded of an important mortal lesson I’ve grown fond of,” Sister turned and beamed.

“Start bad word, get hit,” she said elegantly then she paused, “or was it, bad word around and find out?” she asked herself, frowning.

“You created this world, why are you censoring yourself?” The Goddess of Truth asked, confused.

“Words have effects. I learned that too so I’m watching my language.” Sister explained and she turned to her ‘Alpha’ screen which radiated a mix of symbols, blue light, and the scent of pickles.

The Beta screen was cracked and oil leaked but was recently beginning to smell of popcorn.

Her Gamma screen had animated pictures of naughty rabbits bullying hunters on repeat but stunk of ammonia.

Delta’s screen was gone, it was now her floor, her walls, and her chair… warm and gentle. It made some of Sister’s pain numb, helping her find peace she hadn’t felt since before Little Brother.

It was nice and smelled of old books.

“You just like her better than any of us gods?,” the other asked.

“Yes,” Sister admitted and the goddess seemed satisfied with the truth.

Delta never demanded sacrifices or treated people like little ants they owned.

It was just the small things that Sister enjoyed about Delta.